Hello, and welcome to the last ever chapter of Randomosity! The reason this is being ended is because I'm out of ideas, am working on too many stories as it is, and quite frankly don't think I've left anything to parody. (Alright, I have. But I got all the best ones.) And so, I shall ceremoniously start and finish the story with the most obnoxious of internet tropes: The Mary Sue.

Also, thanks to everybod-y who reviewed, followed, and favourited, you epic, awesome, amazing human beings you. You have no idea how much it means to me. I hope you enjoy the last chapter ;P

Artemis Fowl was at a ball. Why? 'Cuz. Also, Angeline wanted him to meet some girl and they could get married and stuff, even though nobody has done that (at least in Ireland) for like a hundred years. Artemis was hating everyone for some obscure reason. They were all upper-class Irish girls who only cared about money and were all hanging around the drinks table. (That's RACIST!one hundred and eleven! GASP) They all had suspiciously upper-class British names too. Artemis had met a Charlotte, an Elizabeth and a Diana, but no Éadaoin, Aobha, Aoife or Áine. Considering the amount of people there, it was weird. Also weird was the amount of people. We don't have this many rich people, really. We are, in fact, in a recession right now. (Or else this is where all our money is going. Damn you, rich people, this is why I can't buy stuff, you having fancy balls (heh) all over the place willy-nilly.)

Anyway. Artemis hated everyone. Suddenly, on the dancefloor, something caught his eye. It was beautiful. BEAUTIFUL I TELL YOU. More beautiful than Helen of Troy. More beautiful than a swan. More beautiful than Aphrodite, Hera and Athena put together. More beautiful than the freaking Vision. Which, as anyone who has seen the second Avengers movie will know, isn't hard. (He does have a kind of majestic-ness though.)

Back to the story. It was a girl. She was wearing a green velvet dress with gold panelling down the front delicately patterned with golden swirls. The bodice was embroidered with diamonds like falling snow, and rubies like the blood falling from heaven after an angel pricked itself with a delicate pearl-topped pin. The skirt was covered in amethysts in swirling patterns mimicking the ones on the gold panelling. The stones appeared to swirl like the torrid fires of the underworld when she moved. Her movements were like a jellyfish, all floaty and smooth and stuff. (I had fun here. You gotta love parody over-description. It just kind of boils down to 'find the stupidest metaphor you can'. And, to ruin your reading experience more, that was just the dress. I haven't even started on her face.) Also, she was wearing a yellow cape just like the Vision. See, I knew there was a reason I referenced him.

Her face was the beautifullest thing Artemis had ever seen. Her eyes were like almondy-shaped white things with a blue circle in them, which in turn contained a black circle. Their colour was like a fridge. A blue one. A really, really beautiful blue fridge. Her skin was creamy, the colour of porridge with too much maple syrup so it was sickeningly sweet, with exactly 17 freckles dotted across her nose. Her hair was like custard. Artemis wanted to lick it. He liked custaaaarrdddd. It was tied in two braids and coiled on top of her head.

She was pretty as a newborn robin. (Budding ornithologists will get that one. I happen to not be an ornithologist, but meh, I like birds.) Artemis walked over to her. "H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-ello," he stuttered, being all OOC because he was madly in love even though he'd only met her 3 milliseconds ago.

She smiled and said in a voice like the melodic call of the spotted hyena, "Hello, Artemis. My name is Toronto Cassia Xandra Whisky Umaniana Allyson Jynnifyer Xibalba The Amazing Bombina Orientalis Alexis Ayva Loty Izobel Meghane Ricecake Sunlight Heathcliff Cathyie M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Tuesady March The Seventeenth Nineteen Ninety Five Inside A Mystical Cave In Alaska With Great Difficulty Causing My Mother To Die (Which by the way is when, where and how I was born) Princess Awesome Sidebottom. But you may just cal me Toronto, Princess Awesome or Mary Sue."

Then they danced. It was the most beautiful moment of their life. Forget battling Opal Koboi, inventing stuff or whatever the heck Toronto/Princess Awesome/Mary Sue did. Angeline allowed them to marry the next week. There was no mention of Holly. Or the People. These sort of fics never have any mention of anything Artemis did. It in fact makes the reader wonder if it's supposed to be an all-human AU. (Am I the only one that wonders that when I stumble across this kind of story?) Then they had kids and stuff. It was great.

And now, to end, a dramatic kickline with everyone in this story! (A kickline is that thing where a load of performers (Usually tap dancing ones) line up and kick their legs. I'm sure you've seen it before.)

Artemis, Holly, Butler, Lady Melody Jade Sapphire Luna Wiktoria Cleopatra Angel Venus Serena Raven Swan Mystique Derek May June Lilly Coffee Christmas Cake Timothy McDonald Starfire Blaze Shadow (Just went back to chapter one to get the name and damn, my funniness had declined), The Lady At The Lawsuit Desk, Iggy Azalea, Nicki Minaj, Foaly, Mulch, Trouble, juliet, who's capital name-letter has been lost, Opal, Nobody At All, Myles, Beckett, artemis I, who's capital was also lost, Angeline, Dave, One Direction, Tezcatlipoca, Lola, Loki, Ford Prefect, Tim Jane Patrick Lilly, Lili Frond, Philippa Coco Hannahbeth Aimee Amy Anya Stella Luna Apollo Itzpapalotl Murphy, The Potted Plant, Natsu Dragneel, Four, Edward Cullen, Percy Jackson, Jaune Ark, Weiss Schnee, Hiro Hamada, GoGo Tomago, Peeta Mellark, Happy, Artemis The Goddess, Aphrodite, Artemis 3, Coral jr, Angeline jr, Toronto Cassia Xandra Whisky Umaniana Allyson Jynnifyer Xibalba The Amazing Bombina Orientalis Alexis Ayva Loty Izobel Meghane Ricecake Sunlight Heathcliff Cathyie M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Tuesday March The Seventeenth Nineteen Ninety Five Inside A Mystical Cave In Alaska With great Difficulty Causing My Mother To Die Princess Awesome Sidebottom and last but not least, IceDynamiteDragonflyStars, who was so busy writing about kicklines that she forgot to practice an actual one, which she should have done because she has a tap show coming up. Ah well. Always time tomorrow. The kickline of awesome ended. Everyone did jazz hands. It was a beautiful spectacle.

THE END!

And that is the disappointing end to 'Randomosity'. It's been fun, hasn't it? I'll miss it, really. Maybe a review to ease the pain?