Disclaimer: I do now own any of the Marvel characters. The Avengers was written by Joss Whedon, movie transcript taken from the website Scribd.
"Here I Am Lord" was written by Dan Schutte.
If you know it, I do now own it.
Madness
You will start again.
"How am I to start again?"
You will go back to the start.
"And when might that be?"
The start.
"Oh, you're oh so descriptive."
I am Time. Times need not be descriptive. When Time speaks of the start, you will go and start once more.
"I do not wish to be reborn."
You will not be. You are going to the start.
"Fine. I'll go back to the start, oh joyful one."
There is no need for sarcasm.
"It's my armor, don't you know?"
I am Time.
"I'm so glad you know who you are. Where am I?"
In time.
"How does that even make sense. How, pray tell, are we conversing?"
Through time.
"If I could, I'd bash my head into the ground. Or maybe I can."
You have no body here.
"I noticed. So, when do I go to this so called start?"
When the time is correct. You will not remember you were allowed to start once more.
"So, I'll just end up here again?"
Yes.
"Wonderful. What is the point of this whole endeavor if I do not know?"
One will know, just not you.
"I thought it was I you liked."
Time doesn't favor anyone.
"Then why did you offer me another chance?"
Free will.
"What? That makes no sense at all."
Time does not need to make sense.
"How many times have I suffered through this fate?"
You made the bargain, you will go to the start.
"Wa—"
The first time (or second, depending on how he was looking at it) Steve woke up in the fake 1940s hospital room listening to a Dodgers game he'd attended, he thought he was dreaming. It wasn't uncommon for comma patients to dream.
Then it occurred to him he knew this information and in the 1940s, he was pretty sure they didn't know that. He sure didn't know that till he had lived in the twenty-first century for awhile.
Despite his different waking and knowledge, events rolled out just as they had before with a few minor changes due to the fact Steve knew what was happening before it occured.
The third time Steve woke up in the fake hospital room when he'd been in the middle of a mission for SHEILD, he sat up and announced, "Okay. That's it! I'm not jumping out of the plane again!"
The fake 1940s nurse hit the panic button she was holding and the gun squad rushed into the room for a third time.
Steve flopped backwards onto the bed.
"Rogers, where are you?"
"Germany, sir."
"What are you doing in Germany!? We need you here!"
"Oh, well, as soon as I get done with what I need to do here in Germany, sir, I'll head right back to New York."
"Rogers, what the hell are you doing in Germany?"
"Well, you told me to get out, explore the new world. And these people invited me to this gala event in Germany. I don't know what the event is, but they sure were keen to have Captain America attend," Steve said, gazing out his hotel window at Stuttgart.
After SHEILD released him from medical care (they thought he was a bit off in the head, but they concluded nothing was that off for a guy who'd been on ice for seventy years), Steve decided this round he had to do something very different. Because SHIELD already thought his seventy years on ice had futzed the fuses in his head, Steve opted to not try to talk his way into the secret base where SHEILD was keeping the Tesseract. While it pained him that eighty people were going to die when Loki showed up and the base imploded, Steve couldn't figure out a way to be there and stop it.
So, next best thing: go to Germany and stop Loki from getting the eyeball— and maybe from trying to get the entire square to kneel. Couldn't hurt. And, as he'd said, Fury had told him to get out and see the world he'd help create by saving the world from HYDRA by putting himself on ice for seventy years.
"Director Fury, I will return to the States tomorrow."
"That might be too late, Rogers. We've got a situation."
"Oh," Steve said, playing dumb. "Well, sir, I don't think I can just leave these good folks in a lurch."
Steve was pretty sure Nick Fury was about to blow a gasket. Steve didn't blame him. Fury had had a rough twenty-four hours while Steve had been enjoying a wide array of German beers. For the first time, Steve was glad he couldn't get drunk. He could sample as many varieties of beer as he wanted, keep a clear head, and forgo the hangover the next morning.
"Rogers—"
"I'll be back as soon as I'm done here. Send someone to get me, if ya want."
Silence.
"Fine. I'm sending a jet and get your ass on it by midnight or you turning into a pumpkin will be the least of your worries."
"Yes, sir."
Steve hung up. If Fury thought it was strange Steve didn't ask what the danger was, he didn't bother to call back to question it.
That evening, Steve was standing in the mists of the museum gala. The whole thing was lavish and attendees kept vying for Steve's attention. He felt vaguely bad for only giving them half his attention while he looked for Loki. Steve had been searching for thirty minutes before he spotted Loki standing on a balcony gazing down at the tops of everyone's head. Steve excused himself from the inane conversation he only partly taking part in. He was still trying to get to the stairs when the music died and someone began talking. Steve was nowhere near Loki when Loki began clubbing guards as he made his way down the stairs and chaos broke out. Steve fought his way through fleeing people as Loki flipped his target onto a flat, marble table and pulled out what looked like an optical torture device.
"LOKI!"
Loki startled, frowned, and peered around.
Steve shoved more people out of his way. Loki shook his head and brought the device upward, a smirk on his lips.
Steve leapt and collided with Loki, sending them both to the ground. Loki rolled to his feet quicker than Steve and kicked him in the side, sending Steve flying. He landed with a rather resounding crunch.
"You know, he doesn't have to always be the hero of the story. Especially when going up against crazy alien Vikings."
"Stark, shut up."
"What?"
Blessed silence.
"What was he doing there anyway?"
"He was invited to the gala," the second voice said.
It was a woman.
Romanov.
"Seriously? Why'd they invite Captain America to a gala about…mythological somethings?"
"I wasn't told," Romanov flatly stated.
"Yo, wake up. I'm bored."
"Stark!"
Steve cracked one eye open to find Tony Stark staring at him. He was dressed in his Iron Man suit, sans the helmet.
"Ah! Wakey, wakey! Only a half hour has passed this time!"
"Thanks," Steve sighed wearily.
He waited for Stark to mock him some more or something, but all Stark did was stare at him.
Creepy.
"Did you apprehend Loki?" Steve questioned, rubbing his head to find a rather large, tender bump.
"Yeah. Man, was he pissed as hell," Stark laughed, his armor clunking as he moved out of Steve's personal space. He noticed Steve staring. "Like it? I made it myself."
"It's…interesting," Steve said, unsure how to handle a Tony Stark who wasn't trying to get under his skin or brushing him off.
What was different this time? Stark had been antagonistic from the moment they'd met last time. Steve hadn't even said two words before he'd somehow gotten on Stark's bad side.
Stark snorts. "Interesting? Seriously?"
Steve wasn't sure what to say, so he tried to fix his hair. He looked passed Stark and found Loki staring at him from the other side of the plane. His face was blank, but his eyes were on fire, burning sea green.
"This is the greatest invention ever! It's the bee's knees. You get that one, yeah? It's from your era, right?"
"Sure," Steve absently agreed staring at Loki.
Stark backed up noisily. He looked between Loki and Steve before making a noise of some sort. Steve glanced at Stark.
"Seriously? Do you two need a room? I bet I could cobble one together. Give you two some privacy."
Steve sighed, putting his face into his hands.
"STARK!" shouted Romanov.
Steve peaked through his fingers at Loki, who continued to stare Steve down as thunder sounded outside. Steve met Loki's gaze (through his fingers) until Thor showed up and hauled his wayward brother out of the plane.
Steve didn't try to speak to Loki during the rest of the battle, but he did catch Loki staring at him. It unnerved Steve.
"You know, I'm not sure I want to go on this mission."
"Why, solider?" Fury inquired. "What's so different about this mission than all the others I've sent you on in the past year?"
"Don't know, sir," Steve lied. This mission was the one where he'd jump out of the plane and instead of landing where he was supposed to for the mission, he wound up back in the fake hospital room. "Just a feeling."
Fury regarded Steve, before shaking his head and sending Steve off.
He jumped.
He woke up again in the fake hospital room in SHEILD's New York headquarters.
"Seriously? What the hell did I ever do to you?" Steve shouted at the ceiling not bothering to sit up.
No one answered.
Steve met Loki on the balcony this time.
"Come here often?"
Loki slowly turned, confusion written all over his face.
"I was in Germany before, but didn't get a chance to get out and see the sights," Steve went on, leaning his forearms on the railing and gazing down.
Loki remained silent.
"You know, the first time I met you, you wouldn't shut up," Steve reminisced. "And the second time, as a matter of fact. Last time I saw you, you wouldn't shut up as long as I wasn't in the room. Maybe I'm making headway?"
Loki's gaze burned.
"Now, last time we were here, I stopped you from getting your eyeball," Steve went on. "But don't worry, Barton still manages to steal the iridium. Clearly, he doesn't actually need the eyeball. Also, I don't know if you know this, which you might because you're from another planet, but iridium isn't all that rare. Or so I'm told. I'm kinda of new around here."
Steve peaked at Loki, who was standing stick straight and staring Steve down. Steve straightened up, smoothing his jacket down needlessly. He felt uncomfortable in the monkey suit, but that currently wasn't why he was restless. He knew that look Loki was giving him.
"I'm not crazy," Steve announced defensively.
Loki cocked his head to the side. "No, I don't think you are."
Loki sucked in a very deep breath and gave Steve a puzzled look.
"I jump out of a plane about a year and a half from now and wind up about five months before now in the room I woke up in after they found me on ice."
Recognition dawned on Loki's pale, wane face. "The solider out of time."
"Yeah….out of time can mean so many things, buddy," Steve commented, turning away from Loki.
"You are not dressed for battle," Loki observed, eyes sweeping down Steve's body. Steve looked down at his borrowed tux.
"Nope. Didn't come here to battle you, Loki."
Loki sneered. "Did you come to appeal to my sense of righteousness?"
"Not sure if you have any morals," Steve laughed. "From what I've seen of you, you seem to be driven to destroy after some grandstanding. I'm pretty sure you don't actually want to rule the planet, mostly because it makes no sense."
Loki glowered, opening his mouth to drip out his usual spiel. Steve held up a hand, waving it back and forth all the while ignoring Loki's scowl.
"No. Don't tell me we were meant to kneel and freedom is a lie," Steve said. He leaned against the railing and folded his arms across his chest. He looked Loki up and down before meeting Loki's sea green eyes. "Now, since you know Barton can get the iridium elsewhere and we've got about a minute before Iron Man shows up, what do you say we get you something to eat?"
Loki blinked.
"I've never seen you eat," Steve replied. "Not once. And by the look of you, I don't think you've eaten since…well, in quite awhile."
Loki swelled up.
"No, no. Here, have a power bar. I think that's what they call these. I brought you one just in case you didn't actually want to go find food before Iron Man gets here."
Steve pulled the bar out of his jacket pocket and held it out to Loki. Loki reverted to being expressionless and simply stared at Steve till Iron Man flew into the museum— which was when things went crazy. Steve half expected Loki to take off, but he continued to stare creepily at Steve.
"Seriously, what the hell is going on?" Iron Man demanded. He landed with a thud and flipped his face mask up. "Are you seriously trying to feed a megalomanic Chaos God a granola bar?"
"What the hell," Steve fumed at the ceiling when he woke up for the tenth time in the fake hospital room.
Steve had been in the middle making a sandwich when he'd suddenly woken up in the fake hospital room. Going back to the fake hospital room always occurred during that mission— the one that happened while all the bonkers stuff was going on in London and Doctor Selvig decided to run around naked.
He'd had two more months.
Why was he back now?
"Come here often?"
Loki startled.
"No."
"Me either. Kind of boring actually," Steve lamented. "Especially when you've been ten times. I think it's been about ten times. Maybe more. I'm not sure."
"All gala's look the same?"
"No. I've been to this one more than once."
Loki sniffed. Loudly.
"Do I smell? I thought maybe you didn't like my aftershave, so I used something else this time."
"Pardon?"
Steve sighed. "You sniff me every single time. Why?"
"You smell…of something not of Midgard."
"Well, that's just great. I'm keep repeating the same year and half and I smell funny. I must be going crazy."
"You are not mad."
Steve straightened. Out of everyone he'd ever mentioned the whole repeating his year to, only Loki thought he wasn't totally whacky.
Steve wasn't sure how comforting that was coming from someone who Bruce Banner insisted had a bag of cats for brains.
Loki reached out a hand, his sea green eyes locking onto Steve's blue ones. Steve didn't move as Loki waved his hand not holding the cane in front of Steve, frowning deeply.
"I do not understand."
"I don't either. And anytime I try to tell people I'm repeating a portion of time over and over, they send me to see the doc," Steve explained.
"They will never understand magic," Loki absently replied, looking Steve up and down.
"It's magic?"
"If it is not, then I am unsure what it could be," Loki admitted, something sparking in his eyes as he met Steve's.
Instead of burning sea green, Loki's eyes were emerald.
"Your eyes…"
Suddenly the gem eyes clouded over and Loki straightened up.
"Excuse me, I must extract an eyeball."
"Yeah, I'm not letting you do that."
Steve woke up a few hours later on the Hellicarrier. Sighing, he went about trying to stop Bruce from Hulking out.
Like always, Steve failed.
(Steve had learned that Coulson returned from the dead, somehow, so while it might have been nice to save the guy the pain, no one ever bothered to bring Stark back to life after he was killed fixing the engine, so poor Coulson always got stabbed in the heart, as while Coulson as important in the grand scheme of things, Stark was too.)
(But don't tell Stark that.)
"Okay, this time can you not knock me out?"
"Pardon?"
Steve leaned on the railing next to Loki, resting his forearms on the railing and clasping his hands in front of him. He watched the people below mingle and not know a menace to society was above their heads holding some sort of magical death stick in his hand disguised as a cane.
"The last two times we've met, you've knocked me out. Last time was the worst, as you tossed me over the railing and I broke a few ribs along with the concussion. Not fun to stop your invasion with healing ribs."
"You mortals have a saying: déjà vu. I believe I'm experiencing it," Loki said, caution in his voice.
"Oh, son, you are experiencing more than simple déjà vu."
"I am not your son," Loki snapped.
Steve rolled his eyes.
Steve had noticed the last time (he'd lost track of his loops by now), he was a little lax during his encounters with Loki. Partly because no matter how angry Loki got, Loki had yet to actually kill Steve. Yeah, Loki had knocked Steve out, broken bones, and dislocated a few limbs, but never killed Steve. Steve did not doubt Loki could kill him in an instant. But, he never did.
(If he had, Steve hypothesized he'd wake up once more in the fake hospital room.)
"So, how are we going to do it this time?"
Loki sighed. "You speak as if we've done this more than once. I can attest I've never met you before tonight." Loki leered. "Tragic as that is."
Steve snorted, ignoring the burning gaze that swept up and down his body. As the loops wore on, Loki's staring was changing from creepy curiosity to interest. And yes, Steve knew that in today's world it was perfectly okay for people of the same sex to be openly attracted one another. Sexuality was…confusing in today's world to someone like Steve. He was still sorting it out. Still, that didn't mean when Loki ogled him didn't put him on edge. It was an ingrained reaction. (And not because he didn't like it. He liked it more than he wanted to admit. When Loki was decked out in his Sunday finest like he was at the moment…)
"I brought you this," Steve announced, thrusting the granola bar at Loki.
"You brought me…" Loki paused as he carefully reached out for the granola bar as if it might explode at any moment. "Substance?"
"Yes. While you don't look as horrible as you did when you showed up, you still look kind of sickly," Steve explained. He timidly smiled. "So, can't hurt to eat something."
Loki turned the packet over in his hands a few more time before he suddenly snapped to attention and glared at Steve. Steve sighed, letting himself slouch a little.
"Just don't throw me over the railing, okay?"
Of course, Loki tossed Steve over the railing.
Steve was in India when the call happened. He was not supposed to be in India when Fury phoned, but Steve was standing in a busy street in the middle of an open market in Delhi.
"What?"
"Where the hell are you, solider?"
Sometimes Fury called him Rogers. Sometimes he went with Captain. The loops where Fury used solider, he was through with the everyone. And they all had an hour to live before Fury began to use his super spy skill to take them out.
"India. Market in Delhi, actually. It's amazing these things work no matter where you are," Steve babbled, pretending to be amazed. He had, in fact, been amazed the first time he got a call on his cell phone while in Germany, but the amazing factor had worn off about a million loops ago. But, it would be something Steve ought to be amazed with, so he reiterated it each loop.
Fury growled. "Get your butt—wait, did you say India?"
"Yes, sir," Steve responded as two teenage girls began giggling and pointing at him. Steve sighed.
"I'm going to send you coordinates and I want you there within four hours."
"Yes, sir."
Fury hung up without another word. Steve's phone beeped loudly, signaling the arrival of the coordinates, as well as a picture of the Tesseract, and a simple text stating CRAZED WANNA BE WORLD RULER STOLE CUBE. Fury was sending him out to Calcutta. Pocketing his phone, Steve headed out, knowing he needed to get transport to the airport. Can't drive or take the train if he wanted to get to Calcutta in four hours, extract Bruce Banner, and be on his way back to the States.
"Do you have a death wish?"
"Maybe," Steve hedged.
Steve found Bruce Banner on the street. He wasn't even looking for him when Steve spotted Banner coming out of a shack, tucking his messenger bag closely to him.
"What do you want?"
"Well, let's see…I want…wait, you're a scientist, right?"
Steve knew Banner is a scientist, but figured it would be polite to ask. He had tried to ask Banner in the past about the whole time loop thing, but he never was able to get Banner alone. Stark was always around and the one time Steve had tried to ask, Stark had poked fun at him, mocked him, and mostly pissed Steve off.
"Yeah…are you in need of one?"
"Yes."
Banner shifted uneasily and eyed the surrounding area. There were people everywhere and he couldn't Hulk out safely. Steve quickly asked his question.
"Is there a theory that talks about time loops?"
"What?"
Whatever Banner had thought Steve was going to ask, that was not it.
"I know there's a theory about time travel. Or something."
"That's not exactly my area of science," Banner slowly said.
"Oh, I know. I was just wondering if even theoretical science might support the idea of a time loop."
"Like Groundhog Day?"
"Yeah!"
In Steve's research about time loops he'd come across the movies, so Steve tracked it down and watched it. With the exception the main character kept reliving only one day and finally un-looped himself, Steve could relate.
"That's not—"
"You turn into a huge, green, rage filled being," Steve reminded Banner. "And, I used to be a lot shorter and only ninety pounds."
"You're that Steve Rogers?"
"Uh, yeah…who did you think I was?"
"I don't know!" Banner shouted. A few people quickly hurried by, clearly alarmed by Banner's reaction.
"Okay…well, I'm Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America, and I'm here to ask for your help to save the world."
Banner blinked, then offered a thin lipped smile, his eyes going down as Steve slipped his phone out of his pocket. He held it up for Banner to see, then quickly opened the text menu in order to text the agent in charge of the SUV that'd take them to the airport.
"And to see if you can help me figure out why I keep living the same year and half over and over," Steve went on, his fingers flying over the screen of his cell phone.
"A year and half?" Banner asks, clutching the strap of his bag.
"Give or take. Loki's early this time," Steve says, turning and walking down the street towards where he knew SHIELD was a car waiting. "Do you know who Loki is?"
"Someone who is clearly not high key?"
Steve paused, chuckled, then started walking again. "Norse god, supposedly. I think he's just an alien who thinks he's a god. Anyways, he stole the Tesseract— this cube that's is its own power source. Here's a picture." Steve pulled up the image Fury had sent, showed it to Banner. "It is bad business no matter who has it, as I don't think anyone is responsible enough to have that sort of power. I don't know when they exactly fished it out of the ocean where it fell when I was fighting Red Skull, but they always do and Loki always steals it— usually just in a few more weeks from now. He's early this loop. Why don't you think I'm crazy?"
Steve stopped, realizing he was yammering on and not making a clear case for his sanity, yet Bruce was following him.
Banner eyed Steve, then a spot over Steve's shoulder. He smiled wearily.
"You're not crazy. I know crazy. I happen to be able to smell it," Banner quipped, tapping the side of his nose. "You don't smell."
Steve nodded, thinking it was a little ironic that the fact he didn't smell was what sold him to Bruce, while the fact he smelled sold him to Loki.
"And you are way too comfortable with tech to have just re-awoken a few months ago," Banner pointed out, eyeing the cell phone in Steve's hand. "You are comfortable with that phone. You can text. Quickly. A guy who was born in the twenties likely wouldn't be able to do that if he'd only had access to a cell phone for five months."
Steve grinned. "Never thought a cell phone would prove my sanity."
Banner shrugged. "You likely try to appear to be inept with technology, but you've figured it out and grown comfortable with it over the corse of your loops, haven't you?"
Steve nodded. "Kind of hard not to. I resisted for a long time, but honestly, life was easier. Also, I figured out if I knew what I was doing, Stark left me alone."
Banner snorted.
"He won't ever leave you alone. That's why I've not gotten a chance to ask about the whole science and time loop thing."
"I didn't really tell you anything."
"But, you believe me and think it might be possible."
Banner presses his lips together, but didn't deny it. Steve didn't actually care about the science behind the reason he was looping around in circles. He mostly cared he'd found another person (who was sane and not the bad guy) that believed he was a time traveling looper.
Because Steve was busy picking up Banner and Loki showed up early, Steve missed his usual date wi— not date, wrong word— his usual appointment with Loki. So, the first time Steve saw Loki this loop was when Loki was trying to subjugate the square of Germans.
"There are always men like you," the old German man insisted.
Steve had forgotten about this. It'd been so long since Loki had subjugated the square, Steve had forgotten about the old man who had stood up to Loki. The old man made Steve smile, even in the mists of the serious situation.
"Look to your elder, people. Let him be an example."
Steve jumped forward and blocked the energy beam with his shield. The blast hit him hard, but didn't knock Steve over. The old man slightly crouched behind him.
"Are you alright?" he asked the old man quietly.
The old man smiled softly at Steve and patted his arm. "Go get him."
Steve returned the smile, but quickly reverted back into Captain America as he lowered his shield to face Loki, who was still on the ground where he'd fallen.
"You know, the last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everyone else, we ended up disagreeing. And then he threw me over the balcony after I asked him not to."
Loki was still on his ass, just staring up at Steve. Steve waited for Loki to do as he usually did when he looked confused and sure enough, Loki sucked in a whole lot of air through his nose and appeared even more befuddled.
"The solider," Loki said, getting to his feet slowly. He held his scepter in both hands, balanced evenly. "The man out of time."
For some reason, the words weigh heavily against Steve's heart. The quip was on the tip of his tongue that he wasn't the one out of time as Steve had nothing but time died. Instead, he said, "Yup. And I'm still pissed at the guy who threw me over the balcony last time hard enough to knock me out for two days."
He'd missed the Battle of New York. They'd lost Thor and Banner during the battle on the Hellicarrier. Somehow Stark had managed to live through the Hellicarrier battle, but tried to save the world from nuclear winter and died because it was just him, Romanov, and Barton. Well, and Thor near the end, as he did reappear but no one rushed through the air to catch Stark. (Thor got lost after being dropped from the Hellicarrier. Steve had no clue how Thor had managed to get lost as he'd never gotten lost before when he'd fallen out.)
They never did find Banner.
"Loki, drop the weapon and stand down," Romanov ordered from the Quinjet, leveling it out somewhere behind Steve. Loki broke eye contact with Steve, twisted his body, and launched into battle. Steve sighed before following suit.
"I missed our usual meeting, so I guess we can do it now," Steve said, settling down next to Loki on the cliff ledge where Thor had left Loki when Iron Man bowled Thor away.
"Should you not be defending your fellow warrior?" Loki inquired without taking his eyes off the battle between Thor and Iron Man.
"Naw," Steve said, shrugging his shoulders. "Iron Man can hold his own. Oh, look, Thor just charged him up."
Thor stared at the hammer for a moment before being blasted backwards by the super, white, bright chest piece of Stark's suit.
"In six months, Stark will have a whole boat load of those suits and he'll explode them all," Steve conversationally mentioned. "Happens every time no matter what I do. I can't seem to change anything."
"You are out of time and he is where he ought to be," Loki stated flatly, still watching Thor and Iron Man duke it out.
"You know, only you and Banner believe me when I say I'm going in circles."
"Going in circles?" Loki faintly questioned, finally turning his sea green eyes to Steve. They were burning again as they studied him. "Oh. Oh…"
Wonder filled Loki's face and his hands rose. He pauses a moment, almost aborting whatever he was going to do, but Steve kept his expression open.
While Loki did tend to throw Steve over balconies, toss him into concrete pillars, and punch him in the gut from time to time, Steve knew this is not one of those times. Loki was curious. And a curious Loki was only a danger to himself. Well, and maybe everyone else, but at the moment curious was good and safe.
Loki reached up and removed the cowl from Steve's head. Steve hadn't removed it after the fight. He'd kept it on, not really thinking about it till Stark had begun to mock him. Then, Thor had shown up (early, everyone was early this time around) and thus, Steve still had it covering his face.
"Oh," Loki breathed, his eyes going rather large and suddenly green-green-green.
"How do you do that?" Steve asked, staring at the bright green eyes.
"You're him," Loki breathed, looking amazed.
Steve wanted to ask what he meant, but at that moment a tree exploded above their heads and Steve realized he actually had to break up the fight between Thor and Iron Man, as it was only going to end when Thor beat the suit into a pile of scraps. They didn't have time to go get another suit before they'd need it when the Hellicarrier engine blew up. (Steve never figured out how to prevent that and had given up.)
"I am not jumping out of this plane."
"Cap, you have to."
"No. Why don't you just, uh, land it and I'll walk out?"
"No can do, old man," Natasha joked, winking at him. "Seriously, why don't you ask out the girl from accounting?"
Steve sighed. "Oh, I will. After I jump out of this plane. If I don't wake up in the past and in that fake hospital room, then I'll ask her out."
Natasha gave him a strange look.
Steve jumped.
And woke up back in the fake hospital room. He grabbed the pillow under his head, pressed it over his face, and screamed.
"Captain, where the hell are you?"
"Seriously?!"
"Captain, your country needs you and you're not here!"
"Seriously!? He's like a month early?!"
"What?"
"Never mind. I'll go get Banner and meet you on the Hellicarrier."
"Captain!"
Luckily, Bruce was roughly where Steve had found him last time. They had a similar conversation and went on their marry way.
This time, Steve removed his cowl the instant they'd gotten Loki secure.
"You're pretty spry for an old fellow. What's your thing? Pilates?"
"What?" Steve asked, even though he knew what Pilates was and had actually tried it once when he was terribly bored. Back before someone started showing up early.
"It's like calisthenics. You might have missed a couple things, you know, doing time as a Capsicle."
"Oh, okay. No. I don't really do calisthenics. Mostly I run and punch a bag till it breaks."
"Why is Rock of Ages staring at you?" Stark asked at the same time Romanov asked, "Where's this coming from?"
The jet shook violently as thunder rumbled and lightening flashed outside. Steve braced himself.
"Don't tell me Mr. Wanna Be World Leader is scared of a lighting?" Stark snarked. "No, no, no don't tell me. It's okay. We all gotta be scared of something."
"I'm not overly found of what follows," Loki admitted, still staring at Steve intently.
"What?" Steve asked, even though he had a pretty good idea why Loki was staring. (He always stared.)
"You are him," Loki stated, his eyes flashing in the lighting. Steve was sure that was why the color was changing suddenly.
Again.
"Did you hit him a little too hard in the head?" Stark asked as the jet shook again, almost knocking him over.
Steve, of course, was knocked over due to not having the metal suit nor being strapped in. The nice face plant into the metal floor was fun.
"Oi!" Stark shouted, stomping towards the back of the plane as the back gate was ripped off.
"THOR STOP!" Steve bellowed right before Thor grabbed Loki by the throat.
"Thor?" Stark asked.
"THOR STOP!" Steve ordered again, pushing himself up a little further on his hands.
Miraculously, Thor didn't tear Loki out of the seat and leave. Instead, his gripped tightened on Loki's neck and he glared at Steve. Holding eye contact, Steve got to his feet.
"We want the same thing," Steve explained.
"Loki will face Asgardian justice!" Thor bellowed.
"Sure, sure, he can do that," Steve agreed. "If you strangle him, though, he won't."
"I will not strangle my brother," Thor said, frowning.
"Not your brother!" Loki gasped.
"Sure, yes," Steve placated Loki, then glared at Thor.
"Hey, if he gives us the cube you can have him for your Asgardian law and order," Tony offered.
Thor threw a caustic glare at Stark, then looked back at Steve.
"Let him go," Steve ordered, keeping his eye contact with Thor.
"Loki cannot be held by your mortal shackles," Thor pointed out.
"Yeah, I know."
Thor frowned, but dropped his hand from Loki's throat. Loki looked daggers at Thor.
"If you know this to be true, then why have you attempted to restrain him?"
"Because it makes the others feel better," Steve explained.
Loki tore his eyes off Thor and stared Steve down.
"Look, I know you've come to put an end to Loki's schemes here on Earth. Fine. To do that, we'll have to work together and if you fly off with Loki, we can't do that. He's got some of our people under his magical influence."
"Not coolio, bro," Stark added.
Thor scowled, glared at Loki, then folded his huge arms across his massive chest. "Fine. We will work together to achieve our goals."
"Brilliant," Loki drawled. "Look at you, you made some new friends without brawling!"
"Always a first time for everything," Steve commented, sitting down next to Loki.
Everyone stared at him as if he'd lost his mind. Except for Loki, who gazed at Steve like he was some poor sodden kitten who needed a new home.
"I will only speak to Captain America."
"I do not think you are clear on this. You don't get to make demands."
"I will only speak to Captain America."
"You're talking to me."
Loki cocked his head to the side, blankly looking at Director Fury.
"I will only speak to Captain America."
"Kind of hard to threatened the guy when he keeps asking for you," Banner commented, glancing at Steve as they watched Fury attempt to interrogate (threatened) Loki.
"Why does my brother wish to speak with you?" Thor demanded.
"Because he's too nice for his own good," Romanov stated flatly.
Thor frowned.
"So, he's building a portal, huh?" Banner asked loudly, looking away from the table monitor. "That's what he needs Eric Selvig for."
"Selvig?" Thor rumbled.
Banner nodded. "Yeah. Got him under some sort of spell along with a few others."
Thor frowned deeply.
"I would like to know why Loki allowed you to capture him," Thor demanded.
"He wants to be here," Steve and Banner replied together.
Natasha narrowed her eyes a little.
"Do you mean on Midgard or on this flying contraption?"
"Flying contraption," Banner answered. "He wants to be here to…"
Banner glanced at Steve.
"Create chaos. It's what he does, isn't it?" Steve asked.
Thor went on frowning. "He creates mischief."
"Mischief, harmless pranks," Natasha flatly stated, looking up at Thor. "Mayhem, chaos, and destruction. That's what he's done since he's gotten here. In two days, he's killed eighty people."
"He's adopted."
"Why would that matter?" Steve inquired.
Thor stared at Steve.
"You always say that when she says he's killed eighty people in two days. That's forty people a day, how can his being adopted contribute to the fact he's killed eighty people in two days?"
"It's a low kill level," Tony proclaimed, entering. "He's from a warrior society. The more you kill, the more honor your bring to your family or something."
Coulson followed Tony in and shook his head.
"I'll fly you there. Keep the love alive," Tony said to Coulson, then turned back to the group. "So, now that we know why Thor thinks Loki's being adopted is why he's only killed eighty people in two days, we ought to talk about the portal Loki's trying to create. He got the iridium he wanted, you know so the portal won't collapse on itself, like it did at SHEILD."
Tony stopped his trek around the room near Thor and slapped him on the shoulder.
"No hard feelings, Point Break. Here on Earth, Loki's kill rate is super high," Stark said, then turned back to the table and went on, "Also, it means the portal can open as wide and stay open as long as Loki wants. Uh, raise the mid-mast, ship the sails. That man is playing GALAGA! Thought we wouldn't notice. But we did." Tony paused in his ranting and covered his eye and studied one of the monitors. "How does Fury do this?"
"He turns," Agent Hill said, eyeing Stark.
"Well, that sound exhausting."
"TONY!" Steve shouted.
"What?"
"Shut up," Steve said, massaging his temples.
"ROGERS!"
Steve let his head bang onto the table as Fury stormed into the conference room.
"Get your head up off the table and go down and get something out of him!"
"Yes, sir."
"So, I guess I ought to thank you for saving me from having to listen to Stark babbling endlessly about thermonuclear astrophysics. I've got his whole spiel memorized," Steve offered, standing before the glass cage where they'd stored Loki for the time being.
"You know my plan."
"Yeah."
"Then, let us speak."
"Uh, okay. I guess we've got time before Barton shows up to break you out."
"I wish to…"
"To release the Hulk?"
"Pardon? No. I wish to cooperate."
"Huh?"
Steve stared at Loki as if he had two heads.
"You must have questions, do you not?"
"Buddy, I'm filled with questions. Lots and lots of questions— none of which are how to operate a cell phone or surf the internet."
Loki stared at Steve with some confusion.
"Sorry. In past loops, your goal was to release the Hulk and escape."
Loki frowned. "No. That was never the—I came here to be questioned."
"You came here to be questioned?"
Loki scowled. "I do not like to repeat myself."
Steve snorted. "Neither do I, but I've been doing it forever."
"You are out of time."
"When you say that, it sounds like I just ran out of time to do something."
"Isn't that the problem?"
"No. The problem is I keep going in circles and nothing changes," Steve wailed, letting out a frustrated sigh and slamming his hand through his hair. He knew he was on camera, but didn't care. "I'm sick of it. I do not understand the purpose of this looping business. Nothing I do changes anything. The results are always the same."
Loki pressed his lips together, turning his back to Steve. He paced back and forth. He looked like a cat stalking something.
"I am defeated."
"Yes."
"Good."
"What?"
"That is the goal, Captain."
"Your goal is to fail."
"Correct."
"Well, then, I guess you are nuts."
"I am quiet sane."
Steve gave Loki a look.
"It was the only way out of a hopeless situation," Loki quietly admitted, not meeting Steve's eyes. "The Chitarui aim to wipe out disorder and freewill wherever they find it."
Steve blinked. "Freedom is life's greatest lie."
"Indeed, Captain. I could not use the Tesseract to go anywhere other than where it happened to be, which was here. I used that to my advantage."
Pieces fell into place quickly. Steve crossed his arms, pressing his lips together and wrinkling his forehead.
"Okay, so let me get this straight, you came here not to rule us, but to…fail?"
"Yes."
"The army, your army, it's not really your army, is it?"
Loki smirked, looking at Steve with what appeared to be approval in his sea green eyes.
"It's someone else's army. Okay. Who is this someone else?"
"Ask Thor to tell you about the Mad Titian."
"You can't tell me?"
"I could, but I think I will not."
"Loki," Steve sighed, arms dropping his sides.
"Barton has arrived, Captain."
The whole Hellicarrier shook.
"Why is everyone early!" Steve ranted, turning and running out of the room.
"You know," Steve shouted over the roaring wind, "I'm really tired of this. It lacks creativity."
"I am loaded with creativity!" Stark yelled over the mic in Steve's ear. "I ooze it on a daily basis."
Steve snorted. "Yeah, well, I think I got everything reconnected."
"You what? Did you go get a degree in electronics when I wasn't looking?"
"Yeah. I did," Steve jested. "You need to jump the engine after you get it cleared away. Don't get shredded. I'll control the unit and reverse the polarity long enough to disengage."
"How—what—huh. Okay. On three. And when we're done, you're gonna tell me how you know all that, Old Man."
"He said wanted to cooperate," Steve said for what felt like the millionth time.
Natasha sighed, looking up from her magazine. Like in many loops, as time went on, Natasha and Steve became friends. This loop Natasha believed him when he said he was stuck in a time loop. She told him all the little things he was comfortable with that he shouldn't be comfortable with clued her in (though she still came after him with a knife thinking he was some sort of Steve Rogers clone or something).
"Let's think about what you know about Loki," Natasha suggested, looking back at her magazine. "He's a little crazy. He knows about the loop, but can't remember anything. Also, remember his face when he went back?"
"What?"
"Come on, Grandpa. His face. Think about his face."
Natasha pinned Steve with her steel gaze.
Steve pondered Loki's face when he left Earth with Thor.
"That was not a face of someone who'd been beat, Rogers," Natasha pointed out, looking away. "That was the face of someone getting exactly what he wanted."
"He did! He wanted to fail! He just said…well, he said he wanted to cooperate with us. I mean, I never actually saw you speak to him when Fury sent you down there and you found out his goal was the set of the Hulk. But, he said it wasn't. He wanted to talk to us, for us to ask him questions but we didn't."
Natasha sighed. "How come you're the one doing this over and over and you're just getting to this point?"
Steve really wanted to throw something at Natasha, but refrained. Mostly because she could kill him with her pinkie finger if she wanted.
"Okay. Rogers. Think. What happens on the day you loops back? Always."
"Almost always…the strange stuff in London," Steve realized, sitting down hard in the chair. "Well, other then when I was making a sandwich."
"What exactly happens? Well, except the time with the sandwich. The other loops."
"Well, Fury sends us on a mission raid some terrorist compound, except he doesn't always say that's what it is. Sometimes he says it has to do with the Winter Solider," Steve said, noting Natasha tense up at the mention of the Winter Solider. "I jump out of the plane and wind up back in the fake hospital room."
"What time are you jumping out of a plane?"
"One thirty in the morning," Steve said.
"Okay. I'll make your excuses."
"Huh?"
"You're going to London. You are going to find whoever is there that has to do with the weird stuff and figure out how it links back to Loki."
"Well, Doctor Selvig is running around naked and shouting nonsense at Stonehedge."
Natasha quirked an eyebrow.
"I'm not sure why he's there. Or naked."
Natasha shrugged.
"I'll go find Selvig."
With a little digging, Steve found out the reason Selvig was in London was not due to his being nuts, but due to the fact he found strange readings popping up all over. The going crazy evidently happened later.
Steve hadn't been able to catch Selvig before he ran around naked shouting about the end of the world. Or something. Steve tracked Selvig to a mental hospital just outside of London.
"OMG. You're Captain America!"
Steve turned around to find a short, curly haired woman standing behind him flapping her arms around as if she simply could not believe what she was seeing. Behind her, holding some metal poles of some sort was a man looking a little confused.
"Intern! It's Captain America!"
"Uh, hi," Steve said, waving.
"Brilliant," Intern muttered.
"What are you doing here, Captain America? OMG! You know the world's going to pot too! Thor showed up and whisked Jane away after she went all super wiggy."
"Super wiggy?" Steve echoed.
"We're picking up Erik. I mean Dad," the woman loudly tacked on, glancing over her shoulder at the front desk. "He'll be out shortly. What are you doing at the loony bin?"
Steve thought he might want to check in, then something the woman said clicked. "Wait. You said Thor took Jane away? Jane as in Jane Foster?"
"Yeah."
"Are you Darcy Lewis?"
"OMG! Captain America knows my name!" Darcy shouted, slapping Intern, who lost his grip on the poles he was holding. They fell the ground, clanging loudly.
"Darcy!" shouted a voice in the distance.
"Eri—I mean Dad! Why the heck are you running around naked? Seriously, dude, no one wants to see that!" Darcy bellowed, heading towards where Erik Selvig was being led out by a nurse.
"Why are you here?" Intern asked, eyeing Steve as he picked up the metal poles.
Steve bent down to help.
"I'm looking for Doctor Selvig."
"Erik? Captain America is looking for Erik? I mean Dad," Darcy corrected, towing Doctor Selvig by the arm up to Steve. "Look, Dad, Captain America!"
"Loopy," Erik proclaimed and patted Steve on the head.
Six hours later, Steve was not totally sure this was a great idea. Any mention of Loki sent Doctor Selvig under the table. Darcy and Ian the Intern didn't know much other than there were strange portals forming all over the city and they made physics act drunk (Darcy's scientific explanation). Darcy showed Steve video on her phone of the portal, but said it was best not to go see it in person because the cops were hanging out there after Jane had vanished for five hours.
("She reappeared, then exploded things, then Thor showed up, and then they both vanished in rainbow light. It was totally awesome, but a total gip I got left behind," Darcy had complained.)
"Darcy!" came a new voice as the door to the flat opened.
Steve glanced at his watch.
It was five thirty in the morning.
"Jane!"
Steve missed what the two women were yammering about, as he zeroed in on Thor.
"Thor," Steve called over the prattle.
Thor startled, then smiled. "Captain Rogers! What are you doing at Jane's dwelling?"
"He keeps asking about Loki," Darcy reported. "Like seriously, he's obsessed with Loki."
Thor's whole face fell. Jane bit her bottom lip and looked uncomfortable. Doctor Selvig hid under the stable after letting out a rather unmanly shirk.
"Loki is dead, my friend," Thor lamented sadly.
"Oh, good," Doctor Selvig cheerfully cried.
Thor frowned, glancing at Selvig, who poked his head out from under the table. "Loki died in battle. He died with honor."
"Loki's dead?" Steve gasped. "No. How long ago?"
"I'm not sure," Thor admitted, glancing at Jane.
"I don't have a watch," she admitted. "It feels like forever since we left him and headed for the cave where we found the portal back here."
"That did not take very long," Thor admitted. "We've been here longer."
"How long?" Steve asked.
"Well, it took us a half hour to drive here from the factory where Darcy found the portals," Jane explained.
Steve stared at Thor, then back at Jane. "Okay. Thanks."
"Why did you wish to know about Loki?" Thor inquired.
Steve cleared his throat. "I was just wondering…I don't know anymore. Sorry. I'll just…"
"Stay, Captain Rogers," Thor rumbled softly, clapping a hand on Steve's shoulder.
At seven-thirty a.m., Steve was still sitting in Jane's flat. He was staying out of the way while Jane and Doctor Selvig did something that would prevent some big, bad elf from ending the universe. Steve felt like he ought to be helping, but lacked the drive to do so, as he knew it would be pointless.
He was going to loop back soon.
Loki was dead.
And Loki was important. That much Steve felt in his gut.
"He dies. Thor told me he was dead. He died in battle with some amped up super solider Dark Elf."
"A what?"
"I don't know. A Dark Elf," Steve said, rubbing between his eyes. "Thor wasn't all that talkative seeing as his brother had just died a few hours before."
"So, your looping doesn't really have anything to do with Loki actually dying, as you looped back hours after he'd died," Bruce pointed out.
"No. Not his actual dying, as then I'd never seen Thor. But, maybe it has something to do with his death, as I only loop back after he's dead. I mean, with the exception of the one time I looped back while making a sandwich, it's pretty predictable."
"I don't know what to tell you, Steve."
"I know. I know."
"You're going to wait for them to find him in Germany?" Bruce asked.
"Well, unless you know how to fly one of those planes out there, then, yeah. I guess I will have to."
"You know, you could just ask me to fly you."
Bruce and Steve both jumped, turning to find Natasha standing in the doorway of the lab. She had her arms folded across her chest and a knowing look on her face.
"I knew there was something off about you, Rogers, but I didn't think it was the fact you've been living the same period of time over and over for who knows how long."
"Uh, yeah," Steve said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Well, let's go get Loki," Natasha suggested as if it was easy. "Do you know how to free Clint from Loki's control?"
"Good old whack to the head will fix him. He won't remember anything. And I think as long as he steers clear of London next year, he'll be fine."
Natasha nodded, turned on her heel, and stalked down the hall. Banner and Steve looked at one another before hurrying after her.
"You know, I've been waiting for you to do this," Steve said, inspecting the point of the spear pressed into his chest.
"I've yet to do this?"
Steve nodded, watching Loki, who was giving Steve the strangest look. Before Steve could say anything else, everything went fuzzy. By the time things were clear, Steve was sore, dirty, and slumped against the wall in Stark's penthouse.
"Swell," Steve muttered, taking stock of his injuries. He was no longer dressed in the suit he'd donned to go to the museum in Germany, but some sort of outfit similar to Loki's, only it was blue and gold. It was also covered in drywall dust.
Looking around the room, Steve noticed Loki was in the crater created when the Hulk smashed him into the floor a few times. Steve pushed himself into a seated position, groaning as his muscles protested. Taking a deep, painful breath, Steve waited a moment before he got to his feet. He wasn't injured to the point he was invalid, just feeling like he got the stuffing knocked out of him. After he was on his feet, Steve paused for a moment to listen to the battle raging outside. He looked back at Loki.
Loki let out a high pitched whine.
Sighing, Steve made his way across the room to Loki. He came to a stop at the edge of the crater and stared down at Loki, who was awake, yet not moving.
"You know, I always wondered why you stayed here."
"Every bone broken," Loki ground out. "Healing."
"You were healed and fine by the time we turned up," Steve offered, using his hands to clean some of the dust off his arms. "So, did I kill anyone?"
"No. You refused to kill people and you would not leave me alone," Loki groused.
Steve quirked an eyebrow. "I wouldn't leave you alone? So, you dressed me up like a doll?"
"The…specter doesn't turn you into a different person. It doesn't…it doesn't allow me to control you. It simply shows you the light."
"The light?"
"It shows you…my will. What you do with it is your own doing. You took my will and decided to become my shadow. Remind me to never take you into my army again."
"Okay. I doubt you'll listen."
"No. I doubt I will."
"Did you pick a fight with the Hulk?"
"Yes. You tried to stop me, but he smashed your head into the wall."
"Ah."
Steve's head hurt worse than anywhere else.
"So, basically, I was your bodyguard. What'd I'd while you were on the Hellicarrier?"
"Broke me out before I was able to speak to anyone other than Fury. Thus, I had to make up a whole new plan."
Steve stared at Loki, wide eyed. "The invasion is plan B?"
Loki groaned. "Yes. I arranged a shameful defeat at the hands of a few Midgardians."
"Seriously, Loki? A lot of people died."
"When? You somehow evacuated the city before you came to get me," Loki snorted.
"I did?"
"Yes."
"Huh."
They sat in silence till silence fell outside.
"Can I go to Asgard?"
"No mortals are allowed."
"Okay."
"You give up too easy."
"No, I really don't."
"Mortals aren't allowed."
"I'm not mortal. I don't seem to die. I live the same period of time over and over."
"That doesn't mean you're not mortal."
"Loki, you're going to die."
"All things must end."
"You're not a thing."
"I'm a monster. Now, let me pretend I'm passed out before your little friends arrive."
"Not a monster."
"Passed out, Captain."
"Are not."
Next loop, Steve sat in the Hellicarrier with Romanov and Bruce before Loki was found (even though Steve knew where Loki was, but he wasn't telling).
"He thinks he's a monster."
Bruce frowned and cleaned his glasses.
"Are you sure he's dying?" Romanov asked, twirling a knife between her fingers.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you said Thor thinks he's dead right now," Romanov pointed out. "Does Thor ever say why?"
"One loop I got him to tell me," Steve admitted. "Loki…Loki fell off a bridge."
The knife clattered to the ground. Bruce raised an eyebrow up.
"That guy fell off a bridge and died?" Bruce faintly asked.
"Was it a magical bridge to nowhere?" Romanov demanded.
"Uh…I think it went somewhere," Steve said. "Thor broke the bridge to save the Frost Giants. Or something. And it's the way they travel. I guess it's a bridge to all the planets they know about? It's how Thor got here the first time. In New Mexico?"
"Why don't you sound sure?" Bruce questioned. "Haven't you spent the last hundred loops or so gathering information?"
"Yes!" Steve said. "It's just…I only see Thor during the Battle of Manhattan. I mean, he's here on the Hellicarrier before Loki breaks out, but he's less than talkative. Unless someone slights Loki, then he's all up in arms."
"And after?"
"They go back to Asgard within twenty-four hours and unless I manage to get Thor drunk— which is about only a little easier than getting me drunk— he isn't talking."
Romanov pursed her lips together. "Okay. I'll do the talking with Loki this time."
"You won't smell right."
"Pardon?"
"I smell."
Bruce and Romanov exchanged looks. This loop (because Loki just couldn't WAIT and kept getting earlier), Steve didn't have a chance to get Bruce, so he had to tell him about the loop on the Hellicarrier and Natasha was lurking in the shadows. For some reason, even though she'd not spent time observing him, she believed him right away.
"What do you smell of, Rogers? Besides Aveda shampoo, aftershave, and Degree Clinical Strength Clean?" Romanov inquired, picking her knife back up.
"How the—never mind. No, I smell…like something foreign that only Loki can smell. I think it's why he always believes me. The scent is…out of time."
"Oh, man. That is the name for a cologne if I ever heard one," Bruce sniggered.
"I'm out of time," Steve insisted. "That's what I smell like. To Loki. Thor doesn't seem to think I smell."
"His nose clearly isn't as refined," Bruce snickered.
"Or, it has to do with Loki being adopted."
"Loki's adopted?" Natasha asked.
Steve nodded. "I have a feeling that is a bigger deal than it'd be here. Thor uses it as an excuse to why he killed eighty people in two days."
"But, he did," Romanov flatly stated.
"But, what does his being adopted have to do with— oh! Warrior culture," Bruce said, snapping his fingers. "They're a warrior culture. Right?"
Bruce began to sort throw a pile of papers that had magically appeared on the desk in front of him.
"Uh, I think so. I mean, we don't really know all that much about Asgardians. Other than they are stronger, larger, and more have some serious tech," Steve said. "But, I guess it'd make sense."
"Of course it does," Bruce insisted. "They used to be here. During a time when we were a warrior based culture. So, keeping on that track, kill rates should be higher than eighty people in two days."
"So, because he's adopted, he doesn't kill at the rate of a normal Asgardian?" Romanov asked.
Steve could tell she was shocked, but no one else would.
"Sure. Of, maybe because he's adopted his kill rates are that high. We don't know where he came from. Maybe Thor was trying to distance himself?"
"Doesn't really matter. It doesn't help me figure this whole ordeal out," Steve lamented.
"Did you manage to get more out of Thor before you traveled back this last time?" Natasha asked.
"Just that Loki died with honor and some cursed thing stabbed him. Thor watched him die," Steve added. "Jane told me that, between fits of science. She didn't check him to see if he was really dead, but he did turn grey. Which I guess is normal? For whatever he is. As he's not Asgardian. They don't turn grey."
"Oh?"
"Er, I guess the queen died. She didn't turn grey. Loki turned grey," Steve explained.
Romanov leaned back in her seat and stared at Steve. The wheels in her head turned.
"He didn't die. He put on a show."
Steve threw his arms into the air and let his head fall onto the table.
"So, are you tired of this yet?" Steve asked, sitting down next to Loki's crater.
He could tell his fellow Avengers were staring at him as if he'd lost his mind. (Well, other than maybe Romanov.)
Loki sat up, stared at Steve, and said, "Yes, actually."
"Well, then, next time you show up, don't steal the Tesseract. Don't fight your way out of the building and just find me. Okay? You're getting earlier and earlier, so I'm not catching you before you get too far. Can you do that?"
"I will fail to remember."
"Oh, come on. Even Bruce believes me within a few seconds. This last time I hardly said anything before he finished what I was trying to tell him."
The Hulk grunted his agreement.
"What the hell is going on?" Stark demanded.
"I will try."
"Okay. Let's go."
Steve stuck out his hand after he got to his feet. Loki stared at him for a beat, before taking it.
"Are you sure you're not insane?"
"Yeah, Stark."
"You're like best friends with Reindeer Games."
"We're not best friends."
"You hung out with him while he was in jail instead of SHAWARMA!"
"We had things to go over before he and Thor went back to Asgard for part two."
"You're talking crazy! There's words coming out of that pretty mouth but they are gobbledygook!"
Steve sighed.
"And you gave your crazy to Brucie and Natalie!"
"Natasha. Her name is Natasha."
"She told me her name was Natalie."
"Why am I even bothering?" Steve asked, tossing his arms in the air.
"He's LOKI!"
"Yeah. He is."
"He's planning something!"
"I know he is!"
"Then why are you being friendly with him? You don't win over villains by being friends with them!"
"Have you tried, Stark?"
"What? No."
Steve smiled a little too large, tipped an invisible hat, and high tailed it away from Stark.
Steve was sure he only managed to stay on duty with SHEILD due to Natasha vouching for his sanity. The rest of the loop, Bruce, Natasha, Clint (who took Natasha's word for Steve's sanity and legitimacy of the mission), and Steve tried to figure out why the hell Loki would want to fake his death AGAIN. (Steve was sure the first time he "died" hadn't been a fake out, but a cry for help.)
"I got you a mission to London," Natasha said, entering Steve's apartment. "I'm going with you."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I'm going to question Thor. And I will remember the next loop."
"What?"
Natasha gave him a look. "When I overheard you telling Bruce about the time loop, it sounded familiar. You were also fiddling with your phone and I could tell you could use it properly. You shouldn't be able to use it properly."
"Why? Because I'm old?"
"Yes," Natasha said in her no nonsense manner. "You're straight from the 1940s. No one dropped from 1943 to 2012 should be able to operate a cell phone with the ease you do. The same with all tech. You're at home with it, meaning you've been using it for a while. Plus, it sounded so damn familiar when you were telling Bruce."
Steve frowned. "Maybe if I tell you guys stuff enough, something remains?"
"Could be. Bruce believed you before you even finished proposing the concept. You've told him a few times, haven't you?"
Steve nodded. "You usually figure it out on your own. And you finally stopped coming after me with a knife, so thanks for that."
He got a knife sharp smile in reply.
"Loki killed the Jotun king, his birth father. Loki let the Jotuns into Asgard to stop Thor's coordination. Loki doesn't want to be king, but wishes to be Thor's equal. He tried to take out the home planet of the Jotuns with the Bifrost, aka the Bridge to Nowhere but Everywhere, but Thor stopped him by smashing the bridge with his hammer. This sent them both into the void between realms and they only did not die because the king showed up and grabbed Thor. Loki grabbed onto a spear and after telling the king he could have done it, done it for them all and getting told 'No, Loki', Loki let go and fell into the void."
"How the…" Steve trailed off, staring at Natasha in confusion and amazement.
"I'm amazing."
"You are."
"You owe me a pair of heels next loop. And every loop till we stop looping. Nice ones. With pointy ends."
"Okay," Steve agreed right before he found himself waking up in the fake hospital room.
The moment SHEILD released Steve, he got an apartment. No sooner had he found some furniture to bide his time with, Loki appeared in the bathroom mirror.
Steve screamed like a girl and tripped backwards. By the time Steve had gotten back to his feet Loki was gone.
"Loki?"
Steve sighed, staring at his own reflection. He was about to give up, when a sweaty, hallow cheeked, beaten looking Loki appeared again.
"What happened to you?" Steve asked, staring at the horrible picture Loki made.
Loki looked confused.
"Never mind. Where are you?"
"I do not know," Loki's voice said, echoing a little. "I felt compelled to find you instead of influencing those around the Tesseract."
"Good," Steve said, smiling. He gripped the sink with both hands. "Are you on your way?"
"I had planned to make my move soon," Loki acquiesced.
"You said you were influencing those around the Tesseract?"
"No. I was going to do that, but I am doing this," Loki corrected.
"Do you have to influence them?"
"Yes. They are no where near where they need to me to be able to open a portal," Loki admitted.
Steve frowned. "Does this influence harm the person in any way?"
"No," Loki said, looking shocked he'd confessed that. "Who are you?"
"Steve Rogers. When you arrive, don't kill anyone, okay? Ask for me. Ask for Captain America, okay?"
"You said you were Steve Rogers?"
"Well, as an alien, you'd likely know me as my alter ego, Captain America."
Loki nodded and vanished.
A week later, Steve arrived home from the grocer to find Clint Barton in his living room.
"Uh…" he trailed off, staring at the man on his couch.
"Did you know that an alien from another planet showed up a few days ago, caused a whole complex to implode, and then asked for Captain America, also known as Steve Rogers?" Barton inquired.
"No," Steve hedged.
"He did. He looks like complete shit, claims he's Loki of Asgard, and got really mad when someone asked him if he was Thor's brother."
"Ah," Steve said.
Barton stared at Steve. Steve did his best to look blank. He likely failed.
"I didn't find anything fishy in your apartment, if you're wondering," Barton added. "Well, unless you count the fact you clearly understand the Internet."
Oops.
"Only, not enough to clear your history."
History? Of course there was a history of what you looked at on the Internet. What had he looked at?
"You watch a lot of Netflix and read a lot of stuff on Wikipedia. Nothing that no one would thing was strange, except for a guy from 1943 whose only been unfrozen a month. Now, before this really old lady I knew died, she was learning to use a computer and the wonders of the Internet, but she wasn't half as efficient in her searching as you are and she used a computer for three years before she died."
Barton stood up, folding his arms across his chest and gave Steve a no nonsense look.
"So, Rogers, you stuck in a Groundhog Day time loop or something?"
Steve let his face loose its blank look and stared fish-faced at Barton.
"I'm not an idiot, seriously. Why does everyone think I'm stupid or something?" Barton demanded, throwing his arms in the air. Steve shrugged and Barton smirked. "Loki also said you smell funny. And you're out of time. While you are out of your own time, I got the feeling he didn't mean it like that."
"I'm the only one looping. That knows it. Usually. Loki suspects. And Bruce and Natasha usually believe me now right away. And I guess you."
"But not Stark?"
"Huh?"
"If Loki had done what I think he was going to do, then the Avengers would have been called up. Stark's an Avenger. Barely."
"Stark doesn't like me."
Clint snorted. "Try that again, bub."
"I don't really like him. I…he's brave, don't get me wrong, but he's a little self centered and doesn't listen to anyone other than Coulson or Ms Potts."
Clint snorted again. "Fine. I guess you do know him. He'd get along great with Mr I Do What I Want that we've got in containment waiting for you."
"What?"
"There's just something about him that tells me he and Stark are one and the same."
Steve refrained from commenting.
Steve arrived at SHILED's New York City headquarters to find Loki in the Hulk Cage they usually stored him in on the Hellicarrier. Loki was standing in the center of the cage, hands behind his back and his feet spread hip distance apart. He was looking around steadily with a look of disinterest on his face till he spotted Steve.
"There you are."
"Here I am."
"Is it I Lord? I have heard you calling in the night," Clint sang from somewhere above Steve's head. "Oh, wait. I guess you would have missed that one."
"Sure," Steve hedged, having no clue what Clint was alluding to and turning his attention back to Loki.
"I see the Hawk has taken up his position in the rafters once more," Loki commented, eyes looking upwards. He focused on Steve and put his arms out to his side, palms skywards. Clint snickered. "I am here. As you requested. I would not have done so if I'd known they'd lock me up for three days."
"Three days? Seriously?" Steve asked, looking up at where he assumed Clint was. Clint remained quiet. "Fine. I'll try to come up with something better next time."
"Will this not break the chain?"
"I don't know. Maybe. If you don't go and die on me when you go back to Asgard."
"I have no plans to die."
"They told me you die when they fight the Dark Elves next summer."
Loki snorted. "I cannot fight a Dark Elf. They are extinct."
"No. No, they're not."
"Fine. They are not. Why would I allow one to kill me?"
"I don't know. One killed your mother."
Loki's face lost any trace of amusement and he looked rather deadly. "I have no mother."
"Yeah, you tell yourself that, Loki. What's up with your eyes?"
"What do you mean?"
"They are freakishly green."
"Been that way since we took away his spear. They get more freakishly green every minute he's away from it," Clint offered.
"Oh," Steve said. "You weren't totally yourself."
Loki pressed his lips together and put his hands behind his back again.
"You're eyes have always done this weird trick of the light. Gone from sea green to in-your-face-green and back. I figured it was something to do with the lights, but maybe it's your connection to that spear."
Loki refrained from saying anything. Steve studied him closely. He looked better than he usually did after he showed up, but then Steve had only seen grainy footage of Loki's arrival.
"Clint, how did Loki look when he got here?"
"Sick."
Loki's lips pressed further together.
"And you still look like you haven't eaten in ages," Steve absently observed.
"We've fed him!" Clint shouted.
Steve snorted. "You're more successful than I've been. I've never gotten him to eat."
"I didn't say he ate it," Clint said.
"Loki, why aren't you eating?"
Loki squared his shoulders. "I haven't eaten in a year."
"Oh," Steve said, knowing suddenly why Loki never ate what was offered. "How are you alive?"
"My magic sustains me," Loki stated. "I have picked at what they've offered, but I've been unable to…"
"Yeah, yeah, I understand," Steve quickly assured. "Loki, what happened to you? After…you…"
"Fell to my death?"
"Yeah."
Loki glanced away, glaring at a spot on the floor.
"Please, Loki."
"I fell into the void. The void is nothingness. I was looking for oblivion but only found it for a few seconds before I landed somewhere inhospitable."
Clint suddenly landed on the other side of the cage. He slowly straightened and stared at Loki as if he was really seeing him for the first time.
"You fell right after Thor went back, didn't you?" Clint asked. "That was what that epic thing in the sky was, right? Your fight with Thor ended with you falling into the void of space and the epic light show, right?"
Loki did not look at Clint, but he nodded.
"And you fell into the hands of the Chitari?" Steve prompted.
Loki nodded once more. "They despise freewill and disorder."
"Yeah, that much I got," Steve commented, dragging a hand through his hair. He settled on his heels. "So, they tried to beat your freewill out of you, didn't they?"
"Among other things," Loki quietly acquiesced.
"You don't seem like the type who would bow to someone else," Clint said. "You know, when you tried to take your brother out."
"He's not my brother," Loki hissed, rounding.
"Fine. But, you tried to kill him with a metal, fire breathing contraption."
"And I succeed," Loki pointed out. He didn't sound all that triumphant. "The oaf died, became a god once more, and everyone was thrilled."
"That was your goal, wasn't it?" Steve inquired.
Loki turned to face Steve.
"Whatever the hell you were doing up on Asgard, you needed Thor occupied while you did it, so you sent the metal thing down to keep him out of your way."
"No. I sent the Destroyer because I was betrayed," Loki vehemently hissed.
Steve narrowed his eyes. "How?"
"I ordered that no one use the Bifrost or leave till I gave my permission. I was betrayed by the Gatekeeper and Thor's merry bands of idiots. They were oh so desperate to bring him back to fight the war he started."
Clint looked baffled.
Steve took a step closer to the cage, studying Loki's face. It was still too pale, waxy, and sweaty. His eyes, though, those showed none of the exhaustion they usually showed when Steve looked into them. They were on fire with the righteousness Loki felt towards his actions.
"Okay."
"Thor was kind of a jerk when he first showed up," Clint admitted. "Till he tried to get his hammer and failed. Then he was just depressed."
Loki glanced away from Steve, looking ashamed. Steve moved to keep Loki's gaze.
"Loki."
"I am done. We need to discuss how to deal with the Chitari and…"
"And what, Loki?" Steve asked.
"The Other."
Steve did not like the sound of this Other person, nor the big bad he worked for. Steve managed to persuade Fury to let Loki out and they assembled the Avengers to take on problem.
"We have to have an invasion?" Clint questioned, fiddling with an arrow.
"No," Loki said. "But, you must defeat me."
"Didn't we?" Clint asked.
"I never challenged you."
"What did Loki do before?" Natasha asked.
(Everyone believed and knew Steve was a looper.)
"Led the invasion. It was Plan B."
"What was plan A?"
"Obtain the Tesseract, set two people to complete my task, then set about foiling it."
"How?" Fury demanded.
"I intended to keep up the appearance of serving the Chitari, but along the way I planned to prepare the Earth's defenders."
"You did?" Fury asked.
"He did," Steve agreed. "He made it easy for us to capture him. He played his roll a little too perfectly, as we kept missing the real reason he was there. He was there to offer us information, to aid us in defending ourselves. But, we missed it because we never communicated properly, so Barton broke him out and he had to go with Plan B."
"I what?" Clint asked.
Loki appeared mildly upset.
"Plan B?" Fury prompted.
"Lead the invasion, but foiled it at every point he could."
"How'd he do that?" Clint asked. "With my help?"
"No. Loki said he picked a fight with the Hulk. That was to take himself out. And with the exception of fighting Thor, he stayed out of the battle. Loki never fought at all. And then he dropped his weapon. And didn't pick it back up," Steve realized. "And, the ultimate foil…he told Selvig to build a shut off. Using the spear the Chitari gave him to close the portal."
Loki looked shocked.
"You were playing a role," Steve smiled. "That's why you looked so pleased with yourself when Thor took you back to Asgard."
"The Tesseract needs to be on Asgard," Loki announced. "And Thor will not just show up to get it."
"Why not?" Fury asked.
"The Bifrost, the Asgardians method of travel, is likely still broken."
"How does he get here?" Steve asked. "He does get here."
"If the All-Father gathers enough dark energy, he will be able to send Thor to Midgard. Then use the Tesseract to return. And likely fix the Bifrost."
"Why haven't they shown up before to get the Tesseract?" Natasha asked. "It's been here for centuries."
"The All-Father had no need for it. It is also an Infinity Stone. He already has one in the vaults. Best not mix them together unless one is in danger."
They make a plan. It was not all that far off from what Loki usually did: there was an invasion. Only, not over the skies of New York. Fury sent them to the middle of nowhere Montana. Because they needed his tech to make the portal stable and have a power source, Stark ended up being clued into the plot to prevent the loss of freewill on Earth.
"I'm all for freewill, but no one else is touching this tech. It's mine," Stark proclaimed, glaring at everyone.
No one touched his tech. (Except Loki when Stark wasn't looking.)
"I will make sure Thor shows up by playing the roll of the villain," Loki announced when everything was in place and all they had to do was open the portal.
He vanished in a blink of an eye.
"Has he always been able to do that?" Stark demanded. "Because—that is impossible."
"Loki is impossible," Steve informed the man. "And, yeah, of course he can do that."
Before Stark could say anything else, Steve left him and Bruce to tinker with their toys in their portable lab.
"So, I guess this is the part where we go after Loki," Fury said. "He's showing up all over Germany. And he stole Barton."
"By stole, do you mean he stole Barton or he brainwashed Barton?" Steve asked.
"Stole him. Can he brainwash without that?" Fury asks, motioning behind him to the spear.
Steve, just to make sure, waved his hand at the specter. Sure enough, he hit a hard surface so he knew it was not an illusion.
"OHMYGOD! He can do that too!" Stark shouted from behind.
How'd he get into this room? Wasn't he five decks below in the lab?
"Illusions? He's kind of known for it," Steve admitted.
Fury folded his arms across his chest and glowered. "Anything else you wanna tell us about our new ally?"
"He never gets the drink Stark offered."
"What?!" Stark squawked.
Fury sighed deeply.
"Fine. I don't know. I think that's it. I don't know all that about him. I just found out he hasn't eaten in a year. And more than that, as I've been doing this loop thing for more than a year."
"I think your body restarts," Stark offered. "Seriously, this is total science fiction. Time loops, magic, alien Vikings…"
"It's time to play our parts. Stark, Rogers, get to Germany and stop Loki from doing whatever the hell he's up to."
"Stealing iridium and creating general chaos," Steve answered. "He enjoys chaos. He is the chaos god."
Fury appeared to be having second and third thoughts about the mission.
Since Thor wasn't the best at playing secret agent, it was agreed no one would tell Thor what was going on. Loki claimed it gave the whole thing a sense of believability to it that the foil would have other wise lacked. Steve had to believe this would work, as when they found Loki in Germany, Steve handed over the spear. Loki took it, a look of distaste on his face and he gripped it.
"Can they tell you've not enslaved any minds?"
"Likely."
"Enslave me."
"What?"
"Last time, I didn't do anything but act as your bodyguard."
Loki grip tightened on the specter. "Are you sure, Captain Rogers?"
"Yeah."
"You are their leader," Loki pointed out. "You will lead them into battle."
"Have Barton knock me in the head before the battle starts."
"You asked for this," Loki said, looking as if the last thing he wanted to do was press the tip to Steve's chest.
"Yo, Cap, you with us?"
"Yeah. Did you have to hit me that hard, Stark?"
"What? I only tapped you."
"Where's Barton?"
"Still playing Loki Drone. He opted not to remain behind with us on the Hellicarrier. Said someone had to watch you because you're muy loco."
"They'd know he wasn't removing freewill from people," Steve defended. "I volunteered. What's the situation?"
Steve stood up, brushing the dirt off his odd Asgardian like get up and looking for his shield. Stark held it out to him. Steve slipped it on his arm.
"Well, lookie at you, Captain Asgardian," Stark snarked. "Did you let Reindeer Games dress you up like a Captian America Asgard style or something? You even had a funny looking hat. Where'd it go?"
"Stark. What is the situation?"
"Barton is looking after the Glow Stick of Destiny. Hulk is smashing hay barrels and those flying worm things. Black Window is stabbing things. I'm doing recon and looking for you. Thor pushed you off the platform, by the way. You are one super over protective bodyguard. And super efficient at everything. Totally creepy."
"You caught me? Or did you just whack me in the head and hope I didn't die when I fell?"
"I caught you before you hit the ground," Stark proudly said. "And I just tapped you. Now, here's this fancy earpiece and get us organized, Cap."
Steve did just that.
The battle ended the way it always did: a nuke into the portal.
Evidently, Fury chose not to clue the Council into their plans, so the nuclear missile still launched and Iron Man still flew it into the portal. Luckily, the Hulk still liked Iron Man, so Tony Stark lived to snark another day.
"So, I was thinking something with beef. Lots of beef. They must have beef restaurants here, right?"
"Beef restaurants?" Clint faintly asked, twirling the scepter in his hands before Natasha snatched it way from him. (Clint had been the one to close the portal after he stopped playing Loki Drone.)
"Yeah, you know. That serve beef."
"Like a steak house?" Natasha suggested.
"Sure. But, nothing too fancy. Hey, help me up, Point Break."
"That's you, Thor," Steve offered.
Thor, who looked extremely confused, helped Iron Man to his feet.
"Now, where's GQ?"
"Who?" Clint asked.
"Your buddy, Reindeer Games."
"Oh, he's at the top of the tower where the Hulk left him after he took himself out of the picture. He and Steve both seemed to think he could handle it."
"Pardon?" Thor bellowed, glaring at Steve. "You were in cahoots with my brother?"
"Well, yes. We all are in…cahoots with Loki."
Thor looked as if he wanted to smash all of them with his hammer. And he might have done so, only the Hulk punched him in the side of the head, sending Thor careening into the near by once-upon-a-time wheat field.
"Someone clue Thor in on the plan. I'm going to go see how Loki's doing," Steve said, heading over to the tower they'd built to use as the platform for the portal device.
Upon reaching the top, he found Loki where the Hulk had left him. It was a testament to Stark's engineering the whole thing hadn't collapsed (like so many things that came into contact with the Hulk) under the strain of making a Loki shaped hole. (Then again, Stark had probably compensated for that.)
"So, how you feeling?" Steve asked, squatting down next to the crater.
"Do I always end up in a crater?"
"Usually."
Loki let out a loud breath through his nose. "I will heal."
"Can you get up? We've told Thor."
"I've noticed you've chosen not to be around while they tell my bro—they tell Thor," Loki observed.
There was a roar. It was hard to tell if it was the Hulk or Thor.
"I will not be going to Asgard with him," Loki announced.
"I thought you wanted to be there."
"No. Not any longer."
"But, they can protect you," Steve pointed out.
"You told me I die," Loki countered.
"Not on Asgard. You die on…the Dark Elf home planet."
Loki scowled. "That planet is dead."
"Yeah, and you died there."
Loki rolled his eyes.
"He's your responsibility."
"I know, sir."
"It's on your head if he does anything. Even sneeze," Fury threatened.
"Sir, I doubt I can control his sneezing."
"Don't get sassy with me, Rogers," Fury snapped. "I don't want him on my planet, but I can't force him to leave."
Fury looked, well, furious about the fact the Council had opted to keep Loki around. (Thor insisted Loki had to go home and face Asgardian justice, but Steve was sure he'd convinced Thor that rehabilitation was better than locking Loki away for eons.)
(Not that it mattered, as Loki claimed asylum, which the Council granted in exchange for help with further protecting the Earth from aliens such as himself.)
(Loki assured Steve he'd not aid SHEILD or anyone in making weapons. Seeing as Loki was aligning himself with Stark in the "research" of these methods, Steve was sure there'd be no weapons made. On purpose.)
(On accident was another matter all together.)
"I can't believe I have to put up with this. I'm getting to old for this crap," Fury muttered before stalking out of the conference room. Loki peaked in through the open doorway, smirking.
"I take it you are to take me home," Loki all but purred.
Steve's cheeks heated up a little and Stark snickered nearby.
While Stark wanted Loki to live in Stark Tower, Loki insisted on living with Steve in Brooklyn. It was crowded, as the apartment was meant for one, but Loki didn't seem to mind. Steve figured this was in part due to the fact the alien had spent the past year being tortured, physically and mentally, so he didn't notice that Steve's apartment wasn't exactly up to prince standards.
"Do you think you ought to see…uh, a therapist?"
"Pardon?"
"Well, I was reading online about therapy. It's acceptable now to see a shrink. Good, even. I see one."
Loki blankly stared at Steve.
"You know, to help you with…dealing," Steve offered, rubbing the back of his neck. "Stark doesn't deal with his issues, doesn't see a therapist because he doesn't think it'd help and look what happened."
Steve waved at the TV which was running headlines on the stunt Stark pulled in Miami. Loki didn't bother to look at the TV.
"What does that have to do with…therapy?"
"Stark bottled everything up. He was having anxiety attacks, didn't deal, and then wound up…in this mess because he never listens."
"I am listening."
"Good. But, just think about it. I have a list of approved therapists that SHEILD gave me. Just think about it. It won't hurt to just talk to someone about what you went through."
Loki looked skeptical, but took the list.
"This isn't right."
"Oh, but my dear captain, it is."
"No. You…no. You didn't go to the Dark Elf world! Why are you dying?"
Steve and Loki were in London. Steve hadn't wanted to go, but Loki wanted to be there in case something happened since he wasn't going to go die on the Dark Elf planet.
Loki was stabbed saving Thor's butt by a huge, freaking…monster thing.
And now he was dying in Steve's arms.
"Remember me."
They had had five months together. Five months of living with one another, learning one another's likes and dislikes, and now it was over. Steve was going to loop back. He could feel it in his bones as Loki faded away.
"You're the one who is gonna forget, Lokes."
He was going to forget watching Star Trek and mocking the science (Loki, not Steve did the mocking), Loki was going to forget his love for lo mein, and he was going to forget his fondness for fleece.
"Then remember for me," Loki wheezed, smiling through the pain.
Loki put his freezing cold hand to Steve's face. He appeared to be memorizing Steve's face before the hand fell away and the ever so green eyes stared blankly into the dark sky. Sounds of chaos swirled around Steve: explosions, screams, buildings crumbling, and thunder.
Always thunder when Thor fought.
Steve bowed his head, tears flowing freely.
He was still crying when he woke in the fake hospital room.
"This is getting ridiculous, you do realize this, right?"
You will go back to start.
"I am tired of going to this unknown start. And I hate you."
You cannot hate Time.
"Watch me."
Hate is the problem.
"I only hate you."
You cannot hate Time.
"Try me."
You will go to the start.
"ARG! This makes no sense! Why must Steven live the same year over and over? It is cruel!"
Time is patient.
"I'm not going. I refuse to take this bargain."
You already took it. You will go back to the start.
"I won't remember him."
He will.
"But I won't. I don't even know where this start is for myself."
It is the start.
Steve looked at the same apartment he'd lived in the loop before. He almost turned tail and ran out as the realtor showed it to him as all he could see were the touches Loki might not be putting on the space this loop. The bedroom lacked the forest green pain Loki adored and it pained Steve in the chest oddly. Steve smiled awkwardly and asked to see another apartment.
After a few hundred others, he gave up on New York and went to Washington DC where nothing reminded him of Loki. He made sure he got a two bedroom this time, so he'd not have to sleep on the couch. (Even though Loki insisted the bed was large enough for both of them, Steve felt…ill at ease sharing a bed with Loki.)
(Or anyone.)
(Honest.)
"I feel as if I've done this a few times."
"We have," Natasha stated flatly.
"I still don't understand! This isn't science fiction! This is the real world! We're not staring in a SyFy show and no one told me, right?"
"Shut up, Stark," Steve sighed.
"Why?"
"You are like a three-year-old," Clint complained. "I'm ready to roll."
Loki stared at Clint and nodded. He turned to face Steve.
"Is this safe?" Stark asked.
"YES," the entire room answered.
"What? He's willingly becoming a Borg," Stark complained.
"A what?" Loki inquired, turning away from Steve.
"I'm not becoming a Borg," Steve said. "I'm not being assimilated into a collective."
"You know that! You got that reference!" Stark squealed, looking thrilled.
"Loki," Steve prompted before Loki could ask again what a Borg happened to be. There'd be time to reintroduce Loki to Borgs later.
Loki pressed the tip of the spear to Steve's chest and the world went fuzzy.
He woke up lying flat on his back in a wheat field in Montana. He let out a painful sigh and pushed himself up to see the Hulk punch Thor in the side of the head, sending the large man flying through the air. Steve fell backwards and stared into the endless blue sky.
"Not getting up?"
"Loki?" Steve asked, sitting up. "Why aren't you in a crater?"
Loki elegantly shrugged, extending a hand to help Steve up. Steve took it and Loki pulled Steve to his feet so fast Steve careened into Loki's chest.
"Sorry."
"I am not. I am not in a crater. I was able to take myself out of play with the aid of pretending Barton's arrow did its job."
"What?"
Loki let go of Steve and took a step back, indicating to the huge hole in his armor. "It did not get my heart, but I played it as it had."
Steve felt the breath leave his lungs. "What?"
"A clever ruse. Barton and I came up with it. I did not wish to be…Hulk Smashed."
"So you took an arrow to the chest?"
Loki grinned and nodded, as if he was pleased with this development. (Well, okay, Loki was walking around and it seemed like the battle had just ended. Stark was still flat on his back and the Hulk was now smashing Thor into the ground for saying whatever.)
"So, staying here?" Steve asked quietly.
Loki studied Steve quietly for a moment. (The creepy staring had long since stopped and been replaced by a more thoughtful stare.)
(Or another one Steve didn't want to really think about.)
"Of course, Captain. Why would I leave you?"
"What are you doing?" Steve squeaked.
"I am cold."
"You're always cold."
"You radiate heat."
"I'm always hot."
"Oh, you are."
"Loki, seriously, what are you doing?"
"I told you, Captain, I am cold."
"You're sitting on my lap."
"Yes."
"Why are you sitting in my lap?"
"You are warm. Now hush. You've seen these programs before, but I have not."
"Loki—"
Loki placed a hand over Steve's mouth. Steve glared at Loki, who happily watched Star Trek. Just because he could, Steve licked Loki's palm. However, this did not make Loki drop his hand. It only made Loki smile.
"This is vastly inappropriate, Loki."
"How so?"
"You have your own bed."
"Do I?"
"Yes. In the other room."
"It's cold."
"I set the heater up," Steve pointed out. "Because you're always cold."
"But, you are hot."
"Yes."
"I turned it off and came in here to warm up."
"Loki, you are in the bed with me."
"Yes, excellent deduction."
"Loki."
"Hush. Just go back to sleep."
"What are you doing?"
"I believe it's called cuddling."
"Why are you cuddling with me?"
"Because, you are warm."
Steve felt it was something more than the fact Loki ran colder than Steve, but he didn't have the energy to fight Loki off again. For the past three nights since December began, Loki had been crawling into bed with Steve after he'd fallen asleep. Steve, of course, always woke up.
"I'm buying you another heated blanket tomorrow."
Loki hummed, pressed his face into Steve's neck, and pretended to fall asleep. Steve stared at the ceiling, feeling more aware of his body than usual. Loki didn't move and soon his breathing deepened further. Steve felt the moment Loki fell asleep as his entire body got heavier. Once Loki was asleep, Steve let the tension in his body go and turned his head to stare at the raven hair that was poking out from the blankets. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes.
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No. We are not going to London. You die if we go to London."
"You think if I fail to do so, then the loop will break?"
"Yes!"
Loki stared at Steve.
"You will not go on your mission."
"No. I'm not going on any mission till after the thing in London happens. I've told Fury I'm not going anywhere in the month of June. I'm on vacation. And before you even say it, we're not going to London."
Loki pouted.
"I will tie you up."
Loki's expression quickly changed and he smiled. "Promise."
Steve hid his face in his hands and groaned. "Loki. Not what I meant."
"But you know about that?"
"Why wouldn't I? I don't live in a hole."
Loki smirked.
"Stop that."
Loki went on smirking.
Loki told Steve stories of growing up on Asgard. They were filled with a bitter, yet wistful tone. Loki made sure that Steve knew exactly how much of an outsider he'd been growing up and how much the people of Asgard detested him. One night, after Loki had a little too much of the expensive Russian vodka Natasha had dropped off, Steve was told the entire story of what happened after Thor's failed coronation.
Loki cried. A lot.
"I stood there and told Thor Father was dead. I stood there and was scared of who I was becoming, yet I still went and became him," Loki sobbed, smashing his face into Steve's thigh. "I wanted him to kill me so badly. Why won't I just die?"
Steve hauled Loki upward and wrapped his arms around him, unsure what to say to the guy.
"No one can love a monster such as myself," Loki wept.
"Don't say that, Lokes," Steve whispered into Loki's hair. "Your family loves you."
"They do not."
"Thor loves you."
"He wanted to make me serve Asgardian justice. He loves me not."
"Loki, he beat up anyone who said anything against you," Steve softly said, reaching up slowly to run his fingers through Loki's hair in what he hoped was a soothing manner.
"I am no better than the Nazis you battled," Loki said into Steve chest. "And yet you hold and comfort me."
"You said you knew you were doing wrong, you knew you were becoming someone you didn't like," Steve said. "You recognized what you were doing was wrong."
"Yet, I did it anyway."
"True, but then you spent a year…"
"Being tortured. I'm not sure it makes up for my past actions."
Steve sighed. "You want to be a better person, right?"
Loki nodded.
"You don't want to be the man you once were, right?"
Another nod.
"Then be better," Steve said. "Maybe there's something you can do for the Jotuns?"
"What?"
"I don't know. I know nothing about them other than what you've told me and it's not any good at seeing them as anything but the bad guy."
Loki pushed himself off of Steve.
"I'm not saying you're the bad guy, but you don't know anything about them, do you? You know nothing about their culture, their ways of life, or anything other than the brief glimpse you had during that short time before your fall, right?"
"Yes."
"Well, maybe, after this is all over, we can do something to help rebuild what you destroyed?" Steve suggested.
Loki swayed, but nodded. He furiously wiped his face with the back of his hand, stumbled to his room, and slammed the door.
"So, why aren't we over there helping out Point Break?"
"We're keeping Loki alive," Bruce replied.
"By what? He's not tied up. We all know he could just pop himself over there," Stark pointed out.
"I am here by choice, Stark."
"You mean, Steve bribed you with something to make you stay here."
Loki quirked an eyebrow and smirked.
"What did he bribe you with?" Stark asked, giddy like a child. "Seriously. What does Captain Grandpa have that would make you stay here and not go off and do whatever in London?"
"I'm younger than you," Steve pointed out.
"Only because they put you on ice for a bit," Stark snarked.
"Quiet," Bruce hissed, glaring at them.
They all fell silent.
They watched as the new footage showed Thor and someone else battling away in London.
"Do we even know if Thor saves the day?"
Steve stared at his watch, watching the time slowly creep up to when he usually wound up back in the fake hospital room.
"He is Thor. Of course he saves the day," Loki drawled. "Have you made it?"
"I think I might have," Steve said as the moment of his looping went passed. "I'm still here. I think I might stay here. I think we broke it!"
Steve threw his arms around Loki and hugged him tightly. He felt Loki's arms come up and grip him tightly.
Right before he appeared in the fake hospital room again.
Steve swore darkly and smashed the pillow into his face in an attempt to smother himself.
"I love you."
"What?"
Loki looked completely freaked out when he appeared in the bathroom mirror this time. (This time located in Boston.)
"I love you," Loki repeated, staring at Steve. "You are the man, the blond man out of time."
"And you love me?"
Steve was so confused.
Loki vanished, leaving a bemused and anxious Steve behind in the cold, stark white bathroom.
"I didn't tell you to find me when you get here," Steve realized.
Turned out it didn't matter, as Loki arrived, quickly left the SHEILD base, and appeared in a heap of leather and metal in the middle of Steve's living room. He was unconscious and looked like hell. Steve dragged the dead weight to the guest (Loki's) room, turned on the space heater he'd gotten when he moved into an old building in downtown Boston with spotty heating, and spent an hour trying to figure out how to divest Loki of his clothing.
"If you wished to undress me, Captain, all you had to do was ask," Loki croaked upon waking to find himself half dressed and Steve trying to figure out the hooks and ties of his pants.
"Seriously, how do any of you get naked fast," Steve muttered, not thinking. He turned pink as Loki smirked. "Or get dressed before dinner? You're royalty. You likely change five times a day, yeah?"
"Magic," Loki whispered, sounding as if he had not used his voice in a long time.
"You need to eat. I made soup."
"And turned the heat on a blistering summer day."
"Yeah. You're always cold," Steve reminded the man on the bed.
Loki weakly chuckled. "You are dense, my dearest. Turn the heater off. It is sweltering in here and you are a sweaty mess."
"Huh?"
"Turn off the heat source. I prefer the cold," Loki admitted. "Clearly I was trying to get you a message you failed to decipher."
Steve frowned, but clicked the space heater off.
"You really know nothing of courting, do you?"
"You're trying to court me?" Steve asked, eyes going wide. "I thought…no."
"I believe I admitted my true feelings to you when I found you in your mirror," Loki sighed.
Steve sat down heavily on the floor.
Loki looked away. "I spoke out of turn, I do apologize."
"You were distressed," Steve said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I…do you remember me?"
"I remember…bits and pieces. After I turn away from Asgard and close my eyes and hope for death, I get flashes of a blond man in various clothing. Sometimes you are dressed in bright colors and too tight clothing caring a shield, sometimes you are in a fitted tuxedo, while other times you are dressed as you are now. I have emotions that make no sense that go along with the images. They stopped when I landed on the Chitari home world and I knew I had to find you. I sought you under the guise of preparing to come here to lead the army that is not mine."
Steve nodded even though Loki had his face turned away still.
"I…I don't understand," Loki whispered. "The emotions are strong. You smell out of time."
"So, uh, you like me. A lot?"
"I care for you like no other, save maybe my mother."
"You admit you have one?"
Loki turned his head quickly and glared at Steve. "Of course I have a mother."
"But, uh, the woman you've known your whole life…she's your mother?"
Loki appeared confused. "Why would she—you know."
"That you're adopted? Yeah. You…you usually snap that you don't have any family. Thor's not your brother. Thor's dad's not yours. And you've told me you don't have a mother. And one time you told me you're not my son."
"I am not your son," Loki said, looking utterly scandalized. "Why would you even say that?"
Steve sighed, kneading his forehead. "I didn't mean it literally. Nevermind. Why have you changed your mind about your mother?"
Loki stared. Steve stared back.
"I…I…I don't know. Most of the…emotions and memories have to do with you. But…we've done this before."
"Looped quite a few hundreds times, I'm afraid."
"I must…"
"You changed how you felt towards her."
"Or I was honest with myself," Loki whispered, pressing his fingers to his lips. "I was never angry with her for the betrayal. Never Mother. I know she loves the monster I am."
"You are not a monster."
"I tried to kill an entire race."
Steve let out a sigh. "Yeah, you did. Do you know why?"
"Because they are monsters."
"No. You were told all your life they were monsters," Steve pointed out. "Your whole life, you were led to believe Jotuns were the monsters. Then, guess what, you are one. Your whole life you've not fit in anywhere and now you know why. You were angry and lashed out. What was Thor always encouraged to do?"
"Be king?"
Steve rolled his eyes. "Thor always said he was going to destroy them all. And your father was okay with that. Well, what better to do than do it for Thor. If you do it yourself, they can't send you back."
Loki stared at Steve as if he wasn't sure he wanted to know him any longer. Steve got up onto his knees and knelt next to the bed. He reached for Loki's hand and held it tightly.
"You didn't succeed," Steve said. "The Jotuns are still there, their world remains. And, I think you've been physically and mentally punished enough for that, don't you think? You've been missing for a year."
Loki nodded.
"And all Asgard is going to do is lock you up for a year until the Dark Elves show up— and don't bother telling me they don't exist. I know they do."
Loki eyed Steve but nodded.
"So, let's try this one more time and maybe this time, we won't loop back," Steve said, trying to stand.
Loki didn't let go.
"Loki, you have to let me go. I have to call Director Fury and the others."
"I know. But, not now. Just awhile longer," Loki pleaded.
Loki tugged Steve hard till he lost his balance and fell into the bed. Steve huffed, but got comfortable. "You still need to eat something."
"I will. I require rest."
"I know."
"Shut up then."
It was utter madness.
Steve stared at Loki as Loki watched Thor use the Tesseract to go back to Asgard. He had hugged Thor, but informed him Loki would never return to Asgard unless their mother needed him. Thor, who looked a bit leery, nodded and left.
It was utter madness.
Steve took Loki back home to Boston and gave up trying to get Loki to sleep in his own bed. At least he no longer had to turn the heat up.
It was utter madness.
One morning, Steve woke up to find Loki facing him and wearing a soft smile. On this morning, Steve's brain short circuited and he kissed Loki. He grabbed Loki by the back of the neck and pulled him closer, licking into his mouth with desperation. Loki kissed him back with just as much desperation. It felt like they ought to have been kissing one another a long time ago and they had to make up for lost time.
It was utter madness.
"Are you going to leave?"
"I don't know. Last time I didn't think I was going to, but then it happened."
"I wish to go to London."
"Fine."
"I must prevent Mother from dying. You understand this, correct?"
"I do. Just come back. If you can."
"I will. Worry not."
"So, Captain America and Loki?"
"What?"
"You two are totally boning one another!" cried Darcy Lewis, dancing around and clapping. "Wow. Didn't see that at all."
Steve just gaped at the woman. The police still in the courtyard all simply stared at her. Steve shook his head and looked back up at the sky where Thor, Jane, and Loki had vanished in a pillar of rainbow light.
"He's good looking, don't get me wrong, but you're like ancient."
"I doubt my age has anything to do with whom I'm attracted to," Steve pointed out.
"But, you're gay."
"So?"
"So? This is awesome for all gay people!"
Steve sighed deeply.
"Man. I wish you two could have babies. They'd be gorgeous!"
"Darcy. Please do shut up," begged the intern.
"Hey, you can't tell me what to do! You're an intern!"
Was he gay? Steve didn't really know. He'd loved Peggy. He was sure he felt…love. He was strongly attracted to her. She was a fine dame, strong willed and a fire cracker. He'd realized early on he liked guys a little more than he ought to, but you didn't let other people know that unless you wanted to get your teeth knocked out. And Steve got his fill of knuckle sandwiches without the world knowing he was kind of queer.
He liked dames, he really did. They were great. He just wasn't as doll dizzy as Bucky. Hell, he wasn't even remotely interested in one till Peggy— mostly because she saw him. She actually saw him when he was little.
But, she was now in her nineties and suffering from dementia.
And, well, he really hadn't noticed Loki that way till this loop. Okay, that was a lie. Steve had taken note Loki was handsome. His features were delicate, but manly, all smooth planes and angles. Steve loved drawing Loki's face. He'd always liked to draw Loki's face, now that he thought about it.
Oh, god. Steve had been attracted to him and failed to realize it for…hundreds upon hundreds of loops.
Loki was exactly the type of guy who had attracted Steve's attention in the past. Tall, lithe, and dark.
Steve was an utter moron.
Peggy was right: he really didn't know a thing about women.
Or men, evidently.
People. Steve Rogers knew nothing about people.
The minute Thor, Loki, and Jane walked into Jane's London apartment, Steve threw his arms around the battle weary Loki and did not cry.
He was not crying.
Loki wrapped his arms around Steve and hushed him.
"I am not crying."
"No. You are not crying, my dear Captain."
"I'm not."
"If you insist."
"We thought him dead," Thor offered.
Steve sucked in a sharp breath and held on tightly.
"A stab through the middle wouldn't kill me," Loki lightly said, rubbing Steve's back. "It would take more than that to kill me."
"No it wouldn't," Steve muttered.
"I saved Mother," Loki said, pulling Steve away. He frowned. "You weren't crying. Captain, crying is healthy. And perfectly natural."
"Shut up."
Steve slugged Loki.
"As touching as this is, what the hell are we going to do about the big bad that's on the way?" Jane asked loudly. "I've got ideas, but I think…"
Jane trailed off and began talking science which no one but she and Erik Selvig really understood.
Steve and Loki battled the Dark Elves side by side. Since Loki had taken out the big one that had killed him last time (or all the other times), this time when Thor won the battle, Loki was alive. Tired, dirty, and sore, but alive.
Steve didn't loop back. It was afternoon in London and he was still there.
"So, no looping?" Loki asked as Thor headed back to Asgard with the Aether.
"Not as of yet. I don't think I'll truly believe I'm here till I'm on my death bed."
Loki gave him a dark look.
"Did you happen to speak to the king when you were in Asgard?"
Loki nodded.
"Did you settle your issues?"
"I believe we did. I thought he might rage at me, but he looked tired," Loki said, weaving his fingers through Steve's. "We spoke at length while Thor tried to figure out how to remove the Aether from Jane Foster. We will not be winning any father-son awards, but…I will one day forgive him fully for lying to me."
"Good. Now, how about we get you into some therapy."
"Pardon?"
"Therapy. It's all the rage now and I totally think we should go. Not together, unless you want to, but we should get therapists now. Do you want to stay in Boston? I like Boston, but it's not New York. Or, we could go somewhere else. SHEILD wants me, but they don't seem to care where I live. What about DC? I wasn't there very long before I looped."
"How many cities have you lived in Captain?"
"Well, only three. It's only been the last three loops I couldn't stand to be in a city we lived in after you were gone," Steve admitted.
Loki rolled his eyes. "And it was only this loop you figured out you adored me?"
"Shut up," Steve grumbled, shoving Loki.
Loki grinned. "Let's get ourselves back to Boston and go from there, my dearest. Once we're there, settled, and fed massive amounts of pizza, we will speak of what this therapy entails."
"Deal."
You fulfilled your deal.
"I did?"
Yes. Time is pleased.
"Well, I'm so glad you're happy. By the way, what was the bargain I made?"
You wished to go back to the start in order to not loose your loved ones.
"I lost them all?"
Yes. You failed even to have one. You are welcome.
"Yes. Thank you."
You have reached the end.
"I have. It was a good life. Thank you."
Time takes your thanks.