Chapter 16

Preparations

{-Ellaina-}

Ellaina awoke with a knot in her stomach. Her instincts were screaming that something was amiss. Her senses bristled to an unexplainable magic. Whatever it was, it was vile and it had malevolent intent. The fire had been reduced to ashes and the clouds hid the moon. The hairs on the back of Ellaina's neck stood up as she willed her eyes to adjust to the darkness. The Frostbacks were especially quiet this night, as if the snow-covered mountains had vacuumed all sound from the world. As soon as she tried to get up, however, she heard a small "click" followed closely by the sound of a window creaking open. Her heart dropped into her stomach as the beat of it quickened to an erratic pace. As quietly as she could she reached her left hand out to grab the dagger on her bedside table. Groping in the darkness she managed to locate her nightstand, but do her dismay, not the dagger. That's when she remembered: she had awoken Cullen from a nightmare when she returned and had completely disarmed herself. Her dagger was still lying on the floor somewhere. Slowly, and as quickly as she dared, she rolled over and squeezed herself beneath the bed. Covering her mouth, she held her breath and took in everything her senses would allow. Cullen was still in bed asleep, she heard his steady breathing and the scratching of his stubble against the soft pillowcase as he opened his mouth for a deeper gulp of air. Her eyes were finally adjusting to the nearly complete darkness and she saw her dagger. It was within reach of her but she dared not move. An unfamiliar stench came into her nostrils, the putrid mixture of sea water and muck. Then she heard it; the sound of nearly silent footfalls reached her ears and they were getting closer. Her heart hammered in her chest and the pain of the adrenaline rush came into her shoulders and neck. She took her hand away from her mouth and silently inched closer to where her dagger lay. Luckily, the base of her bed was high enough off the ground that she could fit comfortably beneath it. From this position she could take the assailant's legs out from under him and have a dagger to his throat faster than he could blink. However, the danger came in the fact that she was, indeed, hiding under the bed. That is likely where anyone with malevolent intentions would look first.

Ellaina decided she had no other options; she reasoned that the intruder's eyes were ill-adjusted to the darkness in her room as well so she took a chance and reached for her dagger. As soon as she wrapped her hands around its small sheathe she held her breath again and waited. Soon enough she saw the feet of the intruder on the side of the bed nearest where she had been lying. She slowly made her way to a more mobile position and leapt into action. After sweeping her entire body out from under the bed, along with the assailant's legs out from under him, she heard a loud "crash" as his head hit her bedside table. She repositioned herself so she was seated heavily on the assailant's chest, she held her dagger to their throat and dug her knees into their shoulders. Even with all the commotion Cullen didn't wake until Ellaina started yelling.

"Who are you?" She demanded. "Who sent you?" Ellaina waited for a response and got none. "Tell me who sent you!"

Cullen gently put his hand on her shoulder. "I don't think you'll be getting any answers any time soon dear." He stood up and lit the candle on their bedside table introducing a small amount of light into the room.

It was all Ellaina needed as she studied the assailant more closely. Judging by the armor and weapon styles it was clear they were from the Free Marches. Cullen was right. This person would not be answering any questions for the time being. The assailant, a woman, was undoubtedly a servant at Castle Adair, but there was something strangely familiar about her face.

"I know you…" Ellaina studied the woman further.

A surge of memories flooded into her mind. Memories of her mother, Natalie, training scouts. The castle grounds were always buzzing with scouts and Templar trainees alike. The Trevelyans prided themselves on the soldiers they trained, and Ellaina's mother and father were some of the best in the Free Marches. She remembered her ailing mother training until she died when Ellaina was seven. Memories of Ellaina's mothers declining health lingered as she saw flashes of the woman before her. Ellaina had sat next to her mother's deathbed with this woman, grieved her mother's death with her, and gone on several 'adventures' with her. This woman was the closest thing to an elder sister Ellaina knew, but there was a gap in her memory. She couldn't remember her name, how she came to Castle Trevelyan, or how she left.

Something is very wrong here.

"Let's get her to the infirmary. Let the healers patch her up and then we can question her later."

"Alright. Let me look for something first."

Ellaina checked the woman's pockets, her knife belts, and apothecary pouches. Just as she was about to give up her search she noticed a tiny pocket sewn onto her tunic above her heart. Ellaina reached in and pulled out a small gold chain with a pendant attached.

"Just as I suspected." Ellaina held out the necklace for Cullen to see. "My mother gave this to all of her scouts upon completion of their training. It has the Trevelyan coat of arms on it, as well as our oath. 'Modest in temper, bold in deed.' It's meant to be a reminder of where you came from, but being cast in gold shows that flexibility is also a necessity." Ellaina paused and then voiced her thoughts aloud, "Something is very wrong…"

"We'll figure it out. Come on let's get her downstairs and then get some air, the sun will be rising soon."

Ellaina sighed. "Alright."

After they had deposited the woman at the infirmary they returned to Ellaina's room to retrieve some weapons. It was no longer safe to venture outside of Skyhold's walls without protection. They traveled in silence not far from the entrance to a small grove they had recently found. Wrapped in a thick blanket, and each other's arms, they quietly watched the sun rise. This time was not like the others. They were both on edge, unable to relax. This morning's attack was just another reminder that their time was running out, that they would have to act soon. Ellaina's heart filled with dread. There was a time when she was fond of Camden. She did not relish the thought of bringing harm to him, she was especially apprehensive about seeing his father and brother again. She adored his family as if they were her own. Camden's actions put more at stake than she had first anticipated.

"We have to move today. I can't, no, I won't wait any longer. Camden will pay for everything he has done." Ellaina clenched her fists. She couldn't bear the thought of this any longer. "Let's get back, we have much to do before we can depart."

"At your order, Inquisitor." Cullen embraced her and added, "I'm with you. No matter what."

{-Cullen-}

Upon their return to Skyhold, Cullen got things underway. He dictated his orders for training to Ser Barris, who would be taking over in his absence. After he had done his rounds he returned to his office to begin packing for the long journey ahead. He was not looking forward to crossing the Waking Sea again. At least this time it would be a little bit more comfortable. He hoped. Most of his clothes were in Ellaina's room but he had a few things he needed to grab before he went to meet with her. She was likely busy planning with Josephine, Everett, and Leliana. That was not something he wanted to deter her attention from. So, he quietly packed away some of his valuables: several books to keep him busy, including his copy of the Chant of Light, materials for letter writing, and a journal Varric had recently given him. Cullen chuckled as the scene unfolded in his head:

Cullen had been pacing the training grounds that day. All the while he was shouting orders and rubbing his temples, trying to keep his most recent headache at bay. That's when he saw Varric and Ellaina coming down the stairs from the main hall. They seemed to be deep in conversation. Cullen observed them for a moment before returning his attention to the training exercises.

Not long after, he heard Ellaina's laughter pierce the air as the pair walked over to him. They shook hands and started laughing again. Cullen cocked a brow and shook his head. Ellaina practically stumbled into him due to her laughing so hard. However, when she saw his face, exhausted as he was sure it looked, her demeanor changed. She cleared her throat and straightened up.

"Take a break, Commander. I can relieve you for a while."

Cullen opened his mouth in protest. Ellaina proceeded to glare at him and used her head to gesture forcefully in Varric's direction. Cullen rubbed his temples again and decided not to argue with her this time.

"Thank you, Inquisitor. I shall return momentarily."

Cullen approached Varric who was leaning against the stone wall of the tavern.

"Heya, Curly." Varric lifted his hand in greeting. "Walk with me for a minute."

"Varric, I appreciate the offer, but I'd really like to clear my head a bit." Cullen really wasn't in the mood to entertain the dwarf. He wanted to walk the battlements and let some of the cold mountain air blow into his face.

"Humor me." Noticing Cullen's stubborn stature Varric added, "This is for your own good."

Cullen sighed. "Fine, but can we get to a higher vantage point? Even though I'm relieved for a moment I'd like to keep an eye on the training."

Varric shook his head, "You act more like a doting parent than the Commander of an army."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Don't worry about it Curly."

The pair walked up to the battlements and Cullen took in a deep breath of mountain air. Varric extended a small, red leather, journal toward Cullen.

"What's this?" Cullen asked as he took the journal from Varric.

"Consider it a 'congratulations on becoming Commander of the Inquisition's army' gift"

"Varric, I…" Cullen was at a loss for words. It was unlike Varric to reach out like this.

"Don't mention it, Curly. The Inquisitor suggested the idea actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Varric hesitated before continuing, "She said that if it weren't for that and the letters from her older brother Loren, she would have lost herself."

"I can understand that. I'm glad she has you as a friend Varric, she needs someone to confide in."

"And she can't confide in you?"

Cullen's hand instantly flew to the back of his neck, "That's not…what I meant was…after all she's been through trust must be hard for her."

"I imagine it is."

Cullen gazed down at Ellaina, "She's been put through so much already. I can't imagine living with all that and having the immense responsibility of Inquisitor thrust upon her."

"I could say the same of you."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, look at it this way;' you've both been through hell and back, but you've come out stronger because of it. You both hold great responsibilities that call you to positions of power, yet you choose to be selfless above anything else. After what the world has put you both through that's just insane to me. You both have this crazy idea that you can save everyone, I guess it's good that you two found each other."

Cullen smiled. "Well when you put it that way it doesn't sound like much of a compliment."

"Hey you both needed someone to balance out the crazy in your lives." Varric turned to leave but stopped. "Curly, take care of her. She's…well she's the best friend I've had since Hawke. We need more people like those two in the world."

Cullen put his arm on the dwarf's shoulder. "Don't worry, Varric. I'm not about to let anything happen to her."

"Glad to hear that. Now, go relax. It looks like our little Thunderstorm has everything under control for the moment."

"Little? She's no little storm." Cullen smiled and looked down to see Ellaina giving his troops an even more intense verbal lashing than he would. "I think I will. Thanks Varric."

Cullen eyed the pile of reports on the corner of his desk. He knew that it would grow to an unmanageable size if he didn't take some time to read some of them before they departed. Cullen took off most of his armor and leaned back in his chair. He picked up the first report and then the second and third. Before he knew it he had made it through the larger part of half his reports. He continued to read taking advantage of this unusual amount of focus. There were still plenty of rifts that needed sealing, not to mention the growing desperation in the reports out of Emprise Du Lion. Everyone needed the Inquisition all at once, and there were reports that were hard to read knowing that Corypheus and his lackeys were destroying innocent lives. Cullen picked up his next report and as he read it his teeth clenched. Red Templars were smuggling red lyrium out of the Emerald Graves. Scouts had seen Behemoths and a man who he could only imagine was Samson roaming around but this report gave no definite locations. Cullen dug through his reports but that was the only one that had come from the Emerald Graves. Finding and cutting off the Red Templar's lyrium source had been a primary objective for a while now. Calpernia was their main target, but Cullen's personal vendetta couldn't allow Samson to corrupt any more good men. If there was a way to stop them both they had to try.

A knock at the door pulled Cullen from his thoughts.

"Enter." He continued his search through the stack of reports even though he knew it would turn up nothing.

"You're on a mission." Ellaina's chuckled.

Cullen lifted his head. "You could say that."

"I think that's enough reports for today. Have you even started packing?"

Cullen stood and began to don his shed armor. He gestured to the pack leaning against his desk.

"Ah, yes. The essentials I see." Ellaina was teasing him. "I'm sure that the Chant will make a lovely hat." She smiled at him, her eyes twinkling.

"Of course most of my clothing is in your quarters. I didn't want to disturb you."

Ellaina grabbed his arm in one hand and his pack in another and escorted him out of his office. "Come on. I assume you've had your head in those reports all morning and haven't eaten. Lunch will be ready soon."

"Maker's breath, is it that late already?"

"I suppose I'm no better. I've been in meetings all morning."

"How did they go?"

"About as well as can be expected wit this short notice. Josephine has herself all worked up for about a hundred reasons aside from the issue at hand. She was raving about visiting nobility, issues with Skyhold's infrastructure, book requests from Solas and Dorian, new dining hall furniture, and invitations for the engagement party. Between her fretting, Everett's whining, and the thousand other things I have to deal with before we leave, I'm about ready to pull my hair out!" Ellaina was panting.

Cullen turned her around to face him and put his hands on her shoulders. "Dear, calm down and take a breath."

Ellaina inhaled deeply. "Sorry, I'm ok."

"Lunch in your quarters?"

"Sounds positively amazing."

The pair hastily grabbed their lunch and made their way to Ellaina's chambers. They finally got there after being assaulted by a dozen nobles, a panicky Josephine, and three scouts handing out reports like they were confetti. When they entered her chambers Ellaina locked the door behind them.

"Finally, some privacy." Ellaina sighed.

Cullen sat his lunch on the small table by the couch and rifled through the newest batch of reports.

"Cullen…."

"Just give me a moment." Cullen looked again and mumbled, "Nothing."

"What's wrong? You're unusually focused on reports today."

Cullen sighed and handed over the report from the Emerald Graves. "Here."

Ellaina read it over quickly. "We'll have to look into this as soon as possible. I'll have Leliana post more scouts in the Graves."

Cullen nodded his head but didn't look at Ellaina directly.

"There's something more isn't there?" Ellaina looked at the report again and mumbled. "Several Behemoths sighted…a man wearing strange armor…seen reprimanding several red Templars…" She rubbed her chin before continuing. "You think that's Samson don't you."

Cullen's fists clenched as he whispered, "He put that poison in their veins, yet they still follow him."

"Cullen," Ellaina crouched in front of him. "Cullen, look at me. This might not even be Samson. We will find him and we will put an end to his treachery."

"I believe you, but…"

"But nothing. It will be done I promise you. We will find him, we will cut off the red Templars from their lyrium supply, and then we will end them all. But right now I need you focused on the task before us. You cannot allow yourself to let down your guard. The threat to your life remains and I cannot rest until we deal with that threat. You can't let Samson get to you right now."

"And why not?" Cullen exclaimed. "Why shouldn't I let him get to me? Maker only knows how many of his brothers he's killed! It enrages me to think that they would willingly obey him after he practically destroyed them! Why shouldn't it?"

"You have every right to be angry. I agree with you, but remember two things: one, we have a long trip across the Waking Sea and most assuredly a battle awaiting our arrival, and two, Samson is not the only Templar who has killed his own brothers."

Cullen's face turned bright red. "That…what I meant was…. your situation is different."

"Is it?"

"Samson isn't capable of remorse, Inquisitor."

"As appalling as his actions are he's still a human being."

"And you would show him mercy?" Cullen tried to hold back a snarl.

"That's not something I can decide now, nor is it something we can afford to argue about before we have any definitive evidence that it is indeed Samson. Besides, all I know about the man is what you've told me of him. Not that I don't trust you, but everything is pure speculation at this point."

"You do plan to find evidence, yes?"

"When we return from Ostwick we can look into it. I can promise nothing more."

"Fine." Cullen turned away from her trying to keep his rage at Samson under control. Ellaina put her hand on his shoulder.

"Cullen, I can't think about anything beyond keeping you alive right now. I know it's selfish of me, but so long as your life is blatantly at risk…" She removed her hand from his shoulder and lowered her head before continuing, "I don't care if the world burns."

He swore his heart skipped a beat. Of all the things she had ever said to him this was by far the scariest. "You don't mean that."

Ellaina didn't hesitate before she answered, "I do."

The sincerity in her eyes and voice told him she was telling the truth.

"Although…" she paused, "If I can save both, I will."

"That's the Ella I know." Cullen said with a smile as he tucked one of her long locks behind her ear. "Now then, I suppose we should attend to our duties, and our lunches, so we can make it to the Storm Coast in time to catch our ship."

Ellaina sighed. "I am not looking forward to going back there."

"You think I'm excited about getting on a boat again? The trip here from Kirkwall was none too pleasant I assure you."

"I was hoping I'd never have to cross the damned Waking Sea again. Frankly, I never wanted to step foot in the Free Marches again. We do what we must I suppose."

"At least we managed to pool Skyhold's resources to get a decent ship. So hopefully it won't be awful."

"Hopefully so."

They returned their attention to the tasks at hand. They needed to finish as much as possible before they departed. Aside from the packing they still had to finish, they still had reports to read, recruit training to observe, scouts to send, a meeting with Josephine, and…

"We still have to go down to question our unexpected guest don't we?" Cullen asked quietly.

Ellaina jumped, then immediately lowered her head. "I suppose we should." She let out a long sigh. "Do you think she's awake yet?"

"There's only one way to find out."

"I suppose you're right. Let's pack up our clothes and then head down there."

"How long do you think we'll be gone?"

The pair began to pack up their belongings as they continued their conversation. "If all goes as planned, two months. That, of course, considers the two weeks we'll be spending at sea. It's a good thing that we have a good reputation with the Teyrn of Highever. Without Fergus's help we would be in a bind."

Cullen grabbed some shirts and trousers from his dresser as he asked, "Think we'll have any problems porting in Ostwick?"

Ellaina let out a long sigh "Unfortunately that is on my long list of things that could go wrong." She saw Cullen's look of concern and she tried to hide her worry as she continued, "I honestly wish we could dock in Kirkwall and take the pass through the Vimmark Mountains to Ostwick."

"You know we can't do that." Cullen replied with surprise.

"It would be ideal, but it obviously isn't an option."

"We should fortify the ship as a precaution."

"Believe me, Commander, measures to do just that are already in place. I'm more concerned about any of Camden's people infiltrating the crew. I've already screened every member personally, but we can't be certain about anything so keep your guard up."

"I always do; don't worry."

"Don't tell me not to worry dammit!" Cullen reeled at her sudden outburst. "I've already got the honor guard that's attending on round the clock security detail for you. I'll obviously be there and so will Everett." Ellaina let out a long sigh before continuing, "I won't be able to rest until I know you're safe."

"Nor will the rest of the Inquisition, it seems"

"Can you blame them?" Ellaina had finished packing her clothing and was now gathering other necessities. "The life of their Commander is in danger and there is a risk to my life as well. Our people are loyal to a fault. So if there is a direct threat to any member of the Inquisition, you know as well as I, they will stand at our side no matter what."

Cullen looked down at the tunic he was packing, allowing her words to sink in. He knew she was right, but to hear it aloud was somewhat of a shock. Cullen placed the tunic in his pack and turned to face Ellaina. She was shaking; her face was red from the effort to hold back tears.

Cullen wrapped her up in his arms and said, "You're right. I'm sorry for saying such foolish things. I'm here and I won't let anything happen; I will protect you now and forever."

"You idiot." Ellaina mumbled through tears, "Don't you know that you're the only thing I have to live for now? Without you…I don't think I could keep going."

Cullen pulled her closer to him and nestled his forehead into her waves, "No matter what happens you have to keep going. I'll never leave your side in this world or the next."

"Don't talk like that." She gave him a stern look, then faltered and buried her head back into his chest.

"It will all be alright. You believe that, don't you?"

She didn't respond for a while as her throat was tight and ached from holding back sobs. When she finally spoke, all she said was: "Yes."

They separated and finished packing. Ellaina eyed the small chest next to her wardrobe that contained several phials of lyrium. She had insisted on keeping a small supply with her, although, she would only keep it in the chest Dorian had enchanted. She swore she would only use it if circumstances became dire. She summoned her resolve and reminded herself that it no longer held her captive, that it was only a tool that sometimes had to be used. This was one of those times.

She opened the chest and immediately felt the change in the atmosphere. Invisible tendrils of cold reached out and pricked her skin like the cold steel of a dagger. She felt the chains tightening around her, constricting her body, cutting off her airflow, and sapping her strength. She fought against her invisible attacker summing all her willpower as she pulled two phials of the shimmering blue liquid from their velvet lined casing and placed them in a small leather satchel. She slammed the lid down and stood, satchel in hand.

"Are you sure about this?" Cullen asked uncomfortably.

"It's only a precaution. I had Dorian enchant this satchel the same way he did the chest. He asked me the same thing."

"The last time you took it, it almost killed you."

"I'm aware of the risks, but I'm much stronger now. I only plan to use it if I absolutely must. After all, we can't let everyone know about my little secret." She stated with a smirk.

Cullen shook his head, "I trust your judgement. At any rate, I've finished packing. We had best be heading down to meet everyone before we depart."

"Okay, I'm almost done too. Just let me grab a couple more things and get dressed."

Ellaina grabbed another small satchel that was tied to her pack. She filled it with herbs and poultices. She had ordered a large shipment of potions for their voyage. They were already on the way to Highever along with most of the crew and the rest of the supplies. All that remained at Skyhold were her companions and honor guard. They would all depart after an early dinner. She eyed her bulging pack as she returned the satchel to its original place.

"So much for packing light." She mumbled.

"You're just making sure you have everything we need" Cullen chuckled.

"Ha-ha." Ellaina shot her sarcasm back at him as she opened the doors to her wardrobe. She caressed her old Templar armor and reminded herself how far she had come.

"Cullen let out a low whistle. "That's some impressive armor."

"By 'impressive' I'll assume you mean 'totally beat up and barely recognizable.' Because that's precisely what it is."

"I was simply admiring its endurance. That armor has been through a lot, just like you." Cullen wrapped his arms around her from behind. "What's impressive is that it's as strong and formidable as you are."

Ellaina leaned her head back into his shoulder, "Thank you."

Cullen lifted her chin, bent down, and kissed her softly. "No, thank you. For having the strength to carry us all despite everything." Cullen released her and said, I should let you get dressed. We'll be leaving soon." Cullen picked up both their packs and turned to leave.

"You don't have to leave." Ellaina said, silently pleading for him to stay.

"Alright. If you want me to stay, I will."

Ellaina breathed a sigh of relief. Cullen's presence near her kept her relaxed and put her mind at ease as she changed out of her casual attire. She donned her drake skin boots and trousers, then she pulled on a cotton tank top before lacing up the drake skin vest that served as padding for her breastplate. Her pauldrons were fixed to a drake skin arm piece that buckled into her breastplate. It was meticulous work fastening all the buckles and ensuring that they and the laces were tightened properly, but Ellaina had broken it down into an art form. She decided to leave her gauntlets and gloves off for the time being; at least until they were mounted and heading to Highever.

After ensuring everything was properly in place she sheathed her great sword, attached the tiny enchanted satchel to her belt, and put her journal in its container, checking to make sure she had enough charcoal sticks to last her through the long trip. Satisfied that everything was ready she picked up her pack and she and Cullen walked down the stairs, back into the dining hall.

Upon their arrival in the dining hall they were greeted by their honor guard: Cassandra, Blackwall, Dorian, Everett, Ser Rylen, James, the recently promoted Lieutenant Stephan, and three Templars of Cullen's choosing named Benjamin, Arthur, and Charlotte. Cassandra stepped forward, "Inquisitor, Commander, preparations are complete. We are ready to depart at your order." The honor guard saluted in unison.

"Thank you, Cassandra." Ellaina turned to address the rest of them. "Thank you all for agreeing to accompany us on this mission. As Inquisitor it is not my place to prioritize personal matters, however I think we can all agree that the threat to our Commander is of highest import to us all." Everyone nodded in agreement as Ellaina continued, "On a more delicate note, I, Ellaina Trevelyan not Inquisitor, thank you all for agreeing to come. Most of you were on the front lines during my rescue at Adamant Fortress. So I know that you are willing to come to my rescue again. We are about to face an enemy that I once considered to be a dear and trustworthy friend. This will be difficult and I need to know that all of you will stand by me in order to do what is right. I need to be able to trust that if I am conflicted, I can call upon your better judgment to guide me."

There was a long pause as the men and women in the honor guard considered Ellaina's words. Then, a familiar face stepped forward, "I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we will fight for you both no matter what the cause." Warden Commander Amell stood at the front of the honor guard, fist over heart at attention. The rest of them followed suit in unison.

"Celestine, you-" Cullen spoke out in protest.

"I asked her to come." Ellaina interjected.

"Why?" Cullen exclaimed, obviously angry.

"She will be leading the retinue of scouts that Leliana has sent ahead to Castle Adair. As an Arcane Warrior she has the ability to blend in better than anyone else that is qualified for the job. Scout Harding is currently occupied in the Emerald Graves. Commander Amell has experience leading troops into battle; so I made the executive decision that she was more than fit for the job."

"Not to mention that she practically begged the Inquisitor to let her go." Leliana popped up from behind the crowd."

"You didn't have to tell them that you know!"

Leliana grinned deviously at Celestine as she turned to face Ellaina.

"I have just received word that the forward scouts and supplies have ported safely at Ostwick. I expect that there will be no interference."

"Thank you, Leliana."

"That's your cue everyone." Cullen turned to address their honor guard. "The Inquisitor and I have some matters to attend to before we depart. Please make your final preparations and be sure you've had a hot meal and we will rendezvous by the stables in two hours."

"Yes, Commander!" One by one they left the hall, all but Celestine.

"The two of you need to talk, and I have a spy to interrogate." Ellaina stated curtly, not allowing Cullen any time to protest before heading to the infirmary.

{-Ellaina-}

As Ellaina headed to the infirmary she questioned her decision with every step. She knew strategically that it was a good plan, but she was still trying to deal with the jealousy she felt toward Celestine. Cullen had been ready to put his life on the line for this woman, and she had known and loved him before being conscripted into the Grey Wardens. Cullen lived with the guilt he felt over what he had said and done to her every day. The knowledge of that regret gnawed at her heart, despite also knowing she could do nothing to help him. Knowing that made her heart ache even more.

After one of her numerous meetings this morning Celestine had pulled her to the side and pleaded Ellaina to take her with them. She had refused believing that it would put Cullen in more danger.

"Inquisitor please reconsider!" Celestine cried as Ellaina walked towards the guest wing where she had hoped to find Everett.

"No! That is final. I will not reconsider."

"Why? Can you not trust my skill in battle? I fought against the Archdemon for Maker's sake! Your Knight Enchanter inherited the skills I possess and I've trained hundreds of others in the art of the Arcane Warrior! I can assure you that my skills are superior."

"It's not you battle prowess I distrust; I distrust you! I don't know you, I've never even had a conversation with you beyond having you beg me to do something I clearly am against! You're so desperate to come along because you want to be with Cullen. Whenever you're around him he retreats and isolates because he is so burdened by the guilt he feels that he can't handle it! Celestine, I can't have him in that kind of condition when he might very well be fighting for his life." Ellaina turned on her heel and continued to stamp down the hall.

Celestine pursued her and kept pace. "I'm asking you as Ellaina Trevelyan, not as Inquisitor. I care for him and I want no harm to come to him. He was once a treasured friend and I don't want any harm to come to him. I hate knowing that I have only added to his burden and his struggle. I have to do something to make up for it."

Ellaina stopped, deciding to hear her out knowing that's what the Inquisitor in her would do. "Come on, let's continue this discussion somewhere more private." They walked toward the small chapel in the garden It was one of Ellaina's favorite places to go when she wanted to be alone.

"This place is nice. I used to seek refuge in the chapel the Circle. It was always peaceful there."

"I know what you mean, and the glow of the candlelight was always so beautiful. Starkhaven's Circle chapel had a beautiful stained glass window behind the altar. It always helped me feel at ease."

"You were in a Circle?"

"For a time I served in Ostwick. My sister was a mage and my stepmother couldn't stand the idea of her being so close. She, persuaded, the Knight-Commander there to have her sent to Starkhaven. I followed, against the orders of my Knight-Commander."

"I heard about what happened after. For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I know all too well the dangers of blood magic. It's allure and power consumed one of my friends at the Circle. It didn't end well."

"I assume they made him Tranquil."

"Yes…I apologize, it's difficult to talk about."

"I understand…I didn't know much about the Rite beyond what the Chantry taught. I've…well, I've learned much since becoming Inquisitor. I guess that's one of the few perks of being the savior for all the world…Infinite knowledge."

"I hope you use those resources wisely, Inquisitor."

"I always was a bookworm. Not much else to occupy one's time with in a Circle."

"I hear you there." Celestine smiled.

Ellaina cleared her throat. "Now that we're alone and a little better acquainted, I feel it's only fair to hear what you have to say."

"Thank you," Celestine paused to consider how to begin, "I thought leaving the Circle and becoming a Grey Warden was going to be the most exciting adventure of my life. I would finally be free! When I returned to the Circle, however, I found my home ravaged by demons and the people I trusted and held accountable as the heads of my fraternity had turned.

"The Libertarians."

"Yes. We wanted freedom from the Circle. Some were willing to go to extreme ends to get it, but that was not accepted by much of the fraternity. Uldred, was the head of the Libertarians in Ferelden's Circle."

Ellaina cringed at the mention of the name. Every Templar in Thedas knew about the fall of the Ferelden Circle and the mage who was responsible. Cullen's nightmares were proof enough of his evil.

"I knew I had to stop him no matter what. This was not the way to earn respect and freedom for the mages of Thedas. Uldred made nearly every mage and apprentice in that tower into everything the public fears us to be, monsters. At one point, I thought there was no going back, and I considered culling the Circle."

"You did?"

"Of course. It was the logical solution. I didn't know how many were left alive or had remained untouched by demonic possession. I had no way of knowing until I walked through the great doors. Elissa was the one who was in the position to make the call however, not me. She was our leader after all."

"And she went against the Templar's wishes?"

"Leliana and Alistair persuaded her to try and save anyone who was left. She had never lived in a Circle, she had no idea what Templars had to commit to and what their policies were. Templars are an all or nothing order; they didn't exactly get their reputation by being caring."

"I'm all too aware of that."

"I'm sorry, I know your burden is great as well. I am one of the few mages in Thedas that truly understand the burden placed upon your Order. It's easy to forget how much you and Cullen have in common. It's good you found each other and I promise I want nothing but happiness for the both of you. I want to help you both and I want to try to lift the burden I placed on his heart. I want to protect him like he protected me so many times in the tower. I know you are more than capable of protecting him yourself, but I feel that's the least I can do while I'm here. I've been cooped up in a castle for far too long acting as an advisor. Protecting those I care for is what I do best, being a Grey Warden gave me the opportunity to protect the country, but this, this is different. When Corypheus' false Calling started, I thought…I was terrified that I would never get a chance to see my loved ones again, or repay all that Cullen has done for me. That Calling reminded me of how little time I have left. So, I ask you again. Please let me do this."

The pair of women sat in silence for some time. A thousand thoughts swirled in Ellaina's head. Everything from strategy to jealousy. She knew that Celestine was more than capable of carrying her weight on this mission, but she would bear the responsibility of having the life of one of Ferelden's greatest heroes in her care. The thought of what Celestine's death could do to the already shaken morale of the Inquisition, all Thedas really, sent a shiver down Ellaina's spine. Celestine's skills as a mage and her abilities and knowledge as a Grey Warden were invaluable to the Inquisition. Celestine was an asset she couldn't afford to lose. However, she knew that her convictions were strong, and she knew that Celestine wasn't going to take no for an answer. The only thing truly keeping her from saying yes was the jealousy that clawed at her heart. It wasn't fair to not allow Celestine a chance to earn her trust along with the chance to protect a dear friend. She knew she was being unfair by denying her a single chance when she had granted multiple to countless others that were far less deserving. That didn't make the decision to put yet another life on the line for her own personal issues any easier. If Ellaina had had it her way she would have confronted Camden alone, but she was too terrified to let Cullen out of her sight even within the relative safety of Skyhold's walls. She knew what she needed to do and having Celestine could give her the edge she needed.

"You'll be held to the same standards as the rest of the honor guard. That includes willingness to put your life before the life of your comrades in arms. Is that clear?"

Celestine's mouth hung open in shock. "You mean you're actually going to allow me to go?"

Ellaina sighed. "So long as you pull your weight and vow to protect others before yourself."

"Well I think I would have made a pretty bad Grey Warden if I hadn't already submitted myself to that creed." She smiled broadly. "Thank you for this chance. I promise you it won't go to waste."

Ellaina nodded and turned to leave. She couldn't think of anything else to say.

"For what it's worth, I think that your family, especially your eldest brother will be very proud of the woman you've become. I hope that there is time to be with them when this is all over."

"You knew Loren?"

"He came to Ferelden's circle briefly while I was still an apprentice. He spoke fondly of you, his strong willed little sister who had decided to become a Templar barley out of childhood. Cullen had great admiration for him and strived to be as caring as he was toward the mages. The Templars could learn a lot from you three, and I think Seeker Cassandra too."

"I miss him. He tried so desperately to keep me from Templar life, even though he knew that it wouldn't change anything."

"When you set your mind to something you don't back down. It's a trait we both share and it's not always such a bad thing."

"I hope you're right."

Upon her arrival at the infirmary, Ellaina steeled herself. She was nervous about this interrogation. She didn't like not knowing what to expect, and, as far as this interrogation was concerned, she had no clue what was going to happen. She knocked on the wooden door heart hammering in her chest and mind racing from apprehension.

The infirmary was quiet; with only a few patients whose injuries were grave enough to keep them bedridden. Most of them she recognized from the fortress in the Western Approach. She stooped down next to all of those who were awake and spoke words of encouragement. One scout's wounds were inflicted by the wyvern they had finally managed to cull. Guilt banged in her gut as she looked at the soldier.

"He'll make it, don't worry." Adana, the surgeon's assistant put a hand on her shoulder. The young elf was a talented healer and Ellaina owed her Cullen's and her own life. Her unexpressed gratitude would have to wait for now. Ellaina nodded and proceeded towards the last cot where a young woman was propped up reading what looked like a tome of Dalish folk tales.

"Well, well, well, the dread Inquisitor pays a visit to her prisoner at last." The woman clicked at her.

"Don't get any ideas." Adana shot towards her.

"I haven't left yet. I certainly wouldn't squander the opportunity to speak with the lovely Inquisitor Trevelyan, besides."

Adana simply sighed and went back to tending to the wounded soldiers.

"So," the woman shut the large tome, "I assume you're not here to dredge up the past. Let's get to it then, shall we?"

Ellaina simply gave the woman a confused look.

She let out a disappointed sigh. "Come now, Ella, don't tell me you've forgotten me?"

"Sorry, most of my memories from before Starkhaven fell are pretty hazy." Ellaina shrugged, but she couldn't stop the prickle in the back of her mind from the way this woman had said her name.

"And here I thought you would welcome my return to the Trevelyan's with open arms."

"After you snuck into my room with the intention of assassinating my fiancée? I think not!"

The woman laughed, a great howling laugh followed by a lot of wincing and cursing.

"Idiot, your ribs still aren't healed!" Adana came running from the other side of the room.

"A fact I have just been made painfully aware." The woman smiled and graciously allowed Adana to lay her back down.

Recognition crept into Ellaina's mind, but she still couldn't' place how she knew this woman, or from where. Once she looked decidedly comfortable Ellaina decided to nip things in the bud. "Tell me who you are."

"Just the person whose ribs you broke and whom you have so easily forgotten, even after everything I did for your mother."

Ellaina's skull felt like it was on fire. "A name might be a good place to start." She snapped.

"Tsk, tsk, where are your manners? Your mother would be disappointed."

Ellaina's hands clenched into fists, "I implore you, milady, could I know your name?" Ellaina dipped into a bow.

"That's better. I'm glad to see that bows suit you, as curtseys never did. My name, Inquisitor, is Miranda Abbot."

The memories came flooding back so quickly Ellaina felt like she'd been punched in the gut. She sucked in breath and let the tide roll in. Miranda Abbot, Camden's eldest cousin, had been like a sister to Ellaina growing up. The Adairs had sent her to the Trevelyan estate to be trained as a spy under Ellaina's mother, Natalie. Soon after completing her training, however, Ellaina's mother became gravely ill. Miranda stayed by her side, a devoted servant until the very end. But not long after Natalie's death, she disappeared. Ellaina had felt betrayed and still harbored a great deal of resentment towards Miranda.

"Speak quickly, your betrayal to the Trevelyan family is not beyond my memory."

"Don't speak to me of betrayal!"

Ellaina grabbed the hilt of her dagger, but seeing as Miranda hadn't taken an offensive stance, she renounced her hand.

The room fell silent as Ellaina hissed, "You will remember your manners, Lady Adair."

Miranda spat, "How dare you?"

"How dare I indeed? YOU sneak into my fortress, attempt to murder the Commander of the Inquisition and my fiancée, refuse to reveal your identity, and you have the gall to question my motives? You betrayed my mother's trust by running back tot Castle Adair after swearing fealty to her! Not only that, but then you accepted betrothal to the man whom was always meant to be my husband!"

"Still bitter about that, are we? Even after you swore off your noble duty to run and play protector? Seems to me you've gotten over your love for Camden."

Ellaina dug her nails into her palms, white-knuckled fury coursing through her, head pounding, and tears in her eyes. "I always loved him! But I never asked to be betrothed to him! The only reason you accepted was because you thought it would bring you power!"

"So you admit you love him."

"No." Ellaina sighed and backed off, "I loved him. Much has changed over these many years. I am no longer a child." She relaxed her fists and a sense of calm fell over the room. "Tell me why you're here. You are not just another of his mindless servants."

"That I am not. Indeed, I am not his servant at all."

"You honestly expect me to believe that?"

"Modest in temper, bold in deed."

"What is that supposed to mean to me now?"

Miranda sighed, "I never betrayed your family. Your mother bade me return to the Adairs should anything happen to her. She knew you would choose the path of a Templar. Always the fighter, you were. She knew your brothers would watch over you so I was needed elsewhere."

"Did my mother suspect something? Even then?"

"Her exact words to me were, 'rejection sews seeds of hate in children'. She knew that you would never go through with marrying Camden."

"Above all, hatred is the most corrupting force." Ellaina shook her head, knowing Miranda was speaking the truth. "Still doesn't explain how you came to be in this position."

"Right…about that." Miranda chuckled, "I remember you always slept next to the windows when you were little. I only wanted to wake you I did not come to kill Commander Rutherford. I can give you no more evidence than my word."

"You had no Crow poison nor a missive. I believe you…for now." Ellaina turned to leave, but a hand on her gauntlet stopped her.

"Does the Inquisition truly plan to march on Castle Adair?"

"Yes. We leave as soon as preparations are complete."

"Then you should know that hatred isn't the only thing corrupting Camden. Allow me my necklace and I'll show you."

Ellaina removed the necklace from her enchanted, lyrium-filled pouch. Her hands trembled as she tried unsuccessfully to close the pouch with one hand.

"Dammit…" Ellaina handed the necklace to Miranda. With a great deal of effort, she finally managed to close it.

"Lyrium withdrawal?"

"I suppose there's no hiding it now. Yes, but I've been blessed with minimal symptoms."

"Your betrothed isn't faring as well is he?"

"How did you-"

"Nightmares are a dead giveaway. Besides, there aren't many in the Free Marches that don't at least know of Knight-Commander Cullen Rutherford. How do you think Camden targeted him so easily?"

"I suppose I didn't think much of it."

"You've been in Southern Thedas for a long time so it's no real surprise. Besides, you were trained to be a warrior, not a spy. Your job was to assess threats and eliminate them. Mine was always information gathering and quick concealable kills."

"Now that you put it that way…"

"That's why you have spies at your disposal Inquisitor. You were always too impatient and boisterous for that kind of work. I digress. I have a sample of something I believe will be of interest to the Inquisition." Miranda opened a hidden compartment in the necklace and handed it back to Ellaina.

"Where did you get this?" Ellaina questioned as she plucked the tiny shard of red lyrium from its holding. "And how have you remained immune to its effects?"

"I believe you know the answer to your first question. As for the second, the pouch within my leathers was enchanted, not unlike the pouch on your belt."

"That's what I sensed when you were sneaking around outside the window…" Ellaina put the events of the night back together in her head. Miranda was telling the truth, at least about not intending to kill Cullen. Miranda had come toward Ellaina's side of the bed anyway. Not to mention that she had no weapon in hand when Ellaina had taken her down. It was all just a huge misunderstanding…

"You sensed it even though it was in an enchanted pocket?"

"Red lyrium is strong stuff. It isn't to be underestimated. Besides, I've had a lot more exposure to it than most people. So then, answer this for me: why sneak into the fortress in the middle of the night?"

"A reasonable inquiry…" Miranda sighed, "I knew that if I tried to get a message to you it wouldn't arrive in time. I've been in Ferelden for a long time, gathering information about red lyrium and trying to piece together what happened to you after we last parted ways. I only recently learned of your becoming Inquisitor, and then I intercepted a raven flying toward Highever. As soon as I read you were planning to leave for the Free Marches I rode nonstop to get here. I had no means to contact you."

"That explains the urgency, but not the timing."

"I had a feeling if I approached this fortress in broad daylight you'd have me killed on first sight. I know how much you hate Camden for what he's done, and I was not about to waltz up to a fortified position parading the colors of your enemy number one."

Ellaina contemplated this for a moment, "I can't say what I would have done, but I don't make a habit of killing people on sight, not unless they attack first. Regardless, you said what Camden has done; does that mean that he acts alone?"

"From what information I have gathered, yes. Joseph and Garett are not involved."

"That's a relief, if it remains to be true. I can only trust what you know so far. I can't make any decisions about their involvement until I see them and speak with them myself."

"Well, if that's the case, you won't have to wait long for that."

Ellaina gave a questioning gaze to Miranda.

"They'll be meeting you in Ostwick, along with a few dissenting soldiers from Castle Adair. They'll be in disguise as city guards, but you'll recognize them when you see them."

"How did you arrange for this?"

"Garret is with a mage from Ostwick. They procured a speaking stone for me when I told them I was investigating Camden. We keep in touch."

"Garret Adair fell in love with a mage? That's a shock."

"Pretty much, but it's true. They have a daughter too. Her name is Willow and last I knew she was at the Kirkwall Circle. I don't know what happened to her after the rebellions, but she's a resourceful girl. I'm sure she's out there somewhere." Miranda looked misty eyed, "Regardless, I'll be going with you."

"Oh, I don't think so." Adana trotted over, "You are nowhere near travel worthy."

"I have to. They'll never get in to the fortress with me."

"What do you mean? I still remember most of the old passageways."

"You honestly think Camden would keep those open knowing it's you coming?"

"What do you mean?"

"Camden isn't stupid. He knows that you would only come with an army at your disposal. After all he tried to have you and the Commander killed. He knows you're out for blood and that your answer to his summons wasn't genuine."

"I see your point, but you can't travel like this and we can't spare any extra luxuries to make your trip comfortable."

"I'm aware of that, but it doesn't change the fact that you need me to come along. I know you have skilled mages in your midst, not to mention some of the best alchemists in Thedas. I'm sure we can figure something out."

"I'll have to speak with the others and see what we can do."

"Excellent. In the meantime, I'll rest as much as I can."

"Sounds like a plan." Ellaina turned her attention to Adana, "The potion you make for pain, will it work?"

"Only for a little while. You'll need a mage skilled in healing to get her travel worthy."

"Good thing we have one of those." Ellaina smiled and bad the women farewell as she headed toward the gardens.