I have a vocab final tomorrow and this is how I chose to study.

(LINE)

"Another one did it." Dan grumbled as he read through the comments of his latest YouTube video.

Phil looked up from his DS and asked, "Did what?"

"Called me posh." Dan sighed and turned away from the computer screen. "I'm not posh. I just like words."

Phil cracked a smile at Dan's childish pout. His game forgotten he said, "What, does it discomfit you?"

"No, but it's not a malfeasance to have a good vocabulary!" Dan replied, muttering under his breath, "I blame Winnie the Pooh."

Phil rolled his eyes, typical of Dan to find something to complain about. If you looked around their little apartment, you would think they were opulent, considering how many expensive electronics and camera equipment they owned. They didn't have much to complain about at all; they had a roof over their heads, they had a surfeit of food for them to munch on, and they never really got bored. In fact, they were in a very great place in their lives right now. They practically had fangirls creating liturgies outside their hotel rooms every time they went on a tour.

And yet, here's Dan, complaining about how the world views his vocabulary.

"The Tigger Movie was Pooh's Magnum Opus." Dan mumbled to himself, thinking more about his childhood hero. Thoughts of the cartoon seemed to of stanched Dan's earlier complaints. Or so Phil thought. But those complaints were extant, dormant even. Just resting in the back of Dan's mind to come up later down the road.

Down the road ended up being during the taping of their next video. It was a Q and A, for Dan's channel. Phil was in charge of picking the questions. After picking two or three quintessential questions that lead to nowhere, Dan stole the laptop from his friend. "That's it, I'm deposing you. You can't pick questions anymore!"

Phil was less than ecstatic. Being demoted wasn't very fun, after all.

They get their questions from their viewers in the form of tweets. Once Dan or Phil asks for some questions, the tweets come in staunch and don't stop until the actual Q and A video is uploaded.

Still wanting to pick questions, Phil leaned over his friend's shoulder and read out loud, "Dan, are you a woman?"

"I'm going to be candid with you." Dan started. He looked directly into the camera and deadpanned, "Yes."

The two laughed for a moment before picking another question.

"Describe each other in one word."

Phil looked over at Dan and said after a moment of hesitation, "Posh."

Dan looked livid as he hissed his answer to the question, "Pallor."

Which is true. Phil is as pale as a ghost. It's the first thing you notice about him. The second is his total viridity and childish attitude.

Phil quickly read the next question. "What's the outside like?"

Dan blinked and said, "I don't know. I haven't been there. I suppose it would be verdant."

"And that big light bulb in the sky. It's probably incandescent." Phil added helpfully.

The next question was a kind of serious one. It said, "How do you ignore all the pejorative comments on your videos?"

"Ignore them."

"Burn their houses down."

"Oh." Phil glanced at Dan in slight surprise at his answer. Dan grinned wickedly in response.

The next question they chose was out of curiosity. It was, "Give a description about someone that might be considered peccant."

Dan smiled as he said overdramatically, "She is impossibly impeccable in every way. It doesn't matter that she sees me as negligible. Or that when she leaves I am overcome with a wave of malaise. She is the light of my life. A beauty and honor to us all."

Phil looked slightly worried as he asked, "Who was that about?"

Dan's smile broke into a devious grin as he said, "Your mum."

Phil promptly hit Dan with a pillow. Dan chuckled and said, "But really, I should be feted for that one."

Jocularly, Phil festooned a blanket over their laps and replied, "Yeah? Here's dinner right here." He gestured to the makeshift table that was their laps.

"What are we having?" Dan asked with false excitement.

Phil looked into the camera and said, "Danosaurs."

"Noo!" Dan cried, throwing the blanket off them.

They moved on to the next question.

"Write an elegy about each other?"

Dan glanced at Phil, "Wouldn't we have to be dead first?"

The other boy shrugged. "We could elegize something that happened in the past. Like a bacchic college party you went to once."

"I'm not going to write a song about a party, Phil." Dan said. "It would take too much effort." His plaint was easily ignored, though and soon Dan was on his piano playing a small song about some bacchic party from months ago.

"It was Jocose;

It made me languor;

Like I was somnolent;

And languid;

After that party I wanted to languish!"

Phil stared at Dan as he sat back down. There was a moment of silence in which both of them wished they didn't have to hear that again. "That…was terrible." Phil finally said.

Dan laughed, "I never said it would be good!"

"I feel like there needs to be some kind of quittance for that one. You need to do some horrible challenge next week for making me listen to that." Phil said, thinking of something for Dan to do. The cinnamon challenge, maybe?

"Just thinking about that party made me feel soporific." Dan mumbled, leaning on his arm.

"Really? It was the party and not your horrible song writing skills?" Phil teased.

Dan rolled his eyes, "How about, for a quittance, I'll pay for pizza."

"Deal." Phil said without hesitation.

Dan ordered the pizza online with his laptop, as he did he said, "But you'll be the vigilant one that has to go give the delivery boy the money."

After a moment of consideration, Phil finally acquiesced. He would have to deal with talking to the stranger for the small amount of time it took to give him the money. Anything for pizza.

Usually waiting for a pizza was the worst thing in the world. But propitious for them, they had these questions to distract them.

"Where do you find auspices?"

"In Phil's mum's bed."

"Would you consider our fanbase a consortium?"

"Only if they get paid."

"…Would that mean we have to pay them?"

"I hope not. I only got enough for that pizza."

"How did you and Phil meet?"

"It was a fortuity. He ran into me, literally ran into me, in high school. We've been friends ever since."

"What are you destined for?"

"To have a pizza."

Phil snickered, "This video will be nothing but pizzas."

"Better than last time where we just importuned PJ for spoilers on his next big project."

The pizza came then. Phil got up reluctantly as the doorbell rang. Dan answered a question about what he hated the most about the mall. He said, "When it's too congested and you can't move without touching some stranger."

Phil returned, using the pizza as a conferment, said, "If you're propitiated, I'm propitiated."

Dan smiled thankfully taking a bite. "Pizza and I have the best rapport." He took a bite of the delicious food, and mumbled around his full mouth, "Oh yeah, this makes up for that horrid song."

Phil placed the pizza box on the preferential of the camera's view, so it wouldn't be the main focus of the video anymore. Hopefully.

"Let the creative pizza juices gestate in your stomach." Phil said, "Because our fans were really importunate when it came to the next few questions."

Dan glanced at the camera and said, "Bring it on."

Phil read off the computer, "Do you have anything vulgar to say?"

"Taxes." He said monotonously.

"Give a soliloquy about yourself?"

"After that failed elegy? No." Dan snorted.

Phil smirked as he looked for another question. "Would you consider yourself a polyglot or a polymath?"

"I failed Spanish, so I'm going to go with a polymath."

Phil looked into Dan's eyes as he said, "Anything you want to divulge?"

Dan gulped as he glanced away from Phil and spoke softly, "Phil… I love…" He looked up into his best friends eyes and said, "Your mum."

The two laughed at that as Phil shouted, "Stop that!"

Dan's consummate ability to ruin a mood could never be beaten.

Phil parsed the pizza that sat a ways away from him. "It looked so much better with its totality. We could parcel the rest out between us."

"Sharing is caring." Dan replied, as trenchant as ever. "But I'd rather have the holistic pizza to myself."

Phil shook his head, "I let you have all the pizzas when you dropped out of college."

"Yeah, but I was never going to do that dissertation."

The two looked into the camera that was still recording and smiled. "Sorry to truncate this video. But we have pizza left to eat." Was Phil's assertion.

Dan was in the background, eating a bite from the nexus of each slice of pizza. Phil shouted at him, and then pulled the other boy forward so they could do an outro. Their arms were connected at a ligature, where their elbows interlocked.

"Bye!" They shouted simultaneously into the camera.

(LINE)

I ended up skipping two or three words because I thought they were obvious. But yeah. There it is. What a piece of crap.