AN: So this is probably going to remain as a one-shot, but if I feel inclined I might add a second part. Go ahead and tell me what you think in the review box. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki No Kyojin, nor its wide array of characters.

The early morning breeze held a slight chill as I walked out into the mid-spring air. Grumbling about the damn alarm clock and my neighbor's stupid yapping dog, I reached down to lock my apartment's front door. I cursed as dark locks of hair obscured my vision. Should've gotten it cut last week, I reprimanded myself, pushing the strands behind an ear.

"Ymir" spoke a blandly feminine voice. I sighed, yanking the keys out as the door's lock clicked.

"You're here early" I drawled, turning to face the shorter student behind me.

"No, you're ten minutes later than usual" the blonde argued in a mixture of boredom and irritation.

I shrugged. "It's the first day. What are they gonna do, give us detention?" I asked.

Instead of arguing, Christa reached up to straighten the collar of my shirt. She redid two more buttons while she was at it.

"Stop that" I snapped, unbuttoning her handiwork with a scowl, "you know how suffocating these uniform shirts are."

She simply smoothed out her skirt in an act of ignorance towards my words. "I see you ordered male attire, yet again."

I snorted in bitter amusement. "I'd rather die than be forced into one of those skimpy skirts."
Christa snorted and turned to walk down the two flights of metal stairs. I followed, with slight reluctance, in the direction of our school. As we walked side by side in silence, an elderly lady waved to us with a friendly "ohayo."

Christa nodded to the lady with a soft smile. I sneered down at the shorter blonde as my mind took note of her transition. She had put on her game face, and it wasn't coming off until well past the school day. You see, that was what I hated about Christa. She was thoroughly and wholeheartedly fake.

I discovered this the day we met, nearly an entire year ago.

I took a drag of the poisonous tobacco stick placed between two fingers. I held it for a second, then two, and on the third I released the vile smelling smoke into the surrounding air. I was overlooking a bridge, glaring down at the turbulent waters far below. I undid another button on my white shirt with nimble fingers, inhaling deeply.

It was a rather uneventful Tuesday, uncharacteristically cloudy with a high chance of rain. I was only two weeks into my first year of being a high school student, and time couldn't drift by any slower.

There was a sudden rustling to my right as a small girl approached. Her expression was completely blank as she began climbing the rail separating us from the roaring river below.

"Whoa, take it easy, blondie" I exclaimed, dropping my cigarette and reaching out to grasp her hips. "What are trying to do, kill yourself?"

"Precisely" she stated, attempting to wiggle out of my firm grasp.

"Sorry kid, but not while I'm around" I informed, lifting her down as gently as I could. She wore my school's uniform, and I wracked my brain in an attempt to identify the suicidal student.

When she was set safely back on the ground, she pushed away my hands and crossed her arms over her chest. Light hair fell messily in front of her stormy blue eyes, nearly hiding the purple splotch on her left cheek bone.

I reached forward without much thought and brushed her hair back. "Got yourself into a fight?" I asked. She shook her head. "Mugged? Raped?" No once again. I swallowed a lump in my throat. "Domestic violence?"

She spluttered and smoothed down her uniform skirt. I took note of the subconscious habit. "Damn, I-" I stopped misstatement, rubbing the back of my neck anxiously. I considered lighting another cigarette. "Hey, blondie, look at me" I said, in a softer tone than before.

She looked up with slight reluctance, rubbing her arm as a small shiver ran down her spine. "It's cold out here" I stated, "why don't head back to my apartment with me? It'll give you a chance to warm up, and I'll help you figure out where to go from there."

She shot me a disbelieving look and I raised my hands in surrender upon realizing what it sounded like I was implying. "I swear, no funny business. Just let me help out. I know what it feels like to have nowhere else to go."

She rubbed her palms against her skirt again. "Fine" she stated, "but don't expect any favors in return."

"Wouldn't dream of it" I muttered in response.

"Christa!" Sasha shouted as we approached the flock of kids by the school's entrance. She scampered over, half of her mouth still filled with whatever she had decided to snack on during the walk over. "We're in the same class again!"

As Sasha bounced around in excitement, Christa gave her a glowing smile. "Oh! And Ymir's with us this year!"

I grinned down at the shorter after hearing the news. My blonde friend shot me what appeared to be a forced smirk. I leaned down, both hands placed on my hips. "Guess what, blondie, I get to nag you both in class and after now" I whispered.

"Eren, hold on! Mikasa will get mad if we don't wait for her!" shouted Armin as he trudged after his green eyed friend.

We went inside to get our lockers situated, and soon enough Christa and I were entering the classroom we'd be spending the entirety of the school year in. The teacher wasn't present, but multiple students had already arrived and were huddled around a few desks.

The bell rang and students went rushing to take their seats. Christa sat towards the center of the classroom close to Sasha and Connie who were arguing about the death of some manga character.

"I'm telling you, it's not that simple! A random elite can't just kill one of the most powerful shinigami!" Sasha shouted.

"Of course he can! You're misinterpreting the concept!" Connie yelled back.

I sat behind Christa and tried to block out their irritating squabble. I barely noticed when the entirety of the class became silent upon the entrance of a short, dark haired man mere moments later.

"Morning, brats" he greeted with an upturned nose. "My name is Levi. You may simply call me that, or if you prefer, Corporal." He placed a stack of papers and textbooks on the large desk at the front of the class. "Your full time teacher, Hanji, is a fucking ass who flew to Europe right before the beginning of school. And now she can't book a flight back. So I, reluctantly, will be your substitute for the first four days."

Many students stared in awe at the man's blatantly crass tone and speech mannerisms. A hand shot up in the back.

"What?" Levi snapped.

"So" the kid drawled, "you're not our teacher?"

"That's what I just said, moron."

The classroom stilled, and Armin leaned over to whisper to Mikasa "is he allowed to openly insult us?"

"I believe so" she muttered back. Her glare hardened as Levi quietly approached Eren, who was currently slouched over, fast asleep.

Levi took one of the student's heavy textbooks, and with utter diligence, he slammed it against Eren's desk. The young man shot up, wide awake and slightly panicked. "Forty-two!" Eren shouted, swiftly looking side to side before his gaze landed on Levi.

"Don't sleep in my fucking class" the substitute hissed. "Two weeks detention."

Armin visibly face-palmed as the class released a unanimous groan at the brunette's confused stare. Let's just say, that wasn't the extent of Levi's strict reign.

"You don't clean often do you?" the blonde asked, slowly entering my small apartment. It consisted of a living room connected to a one person kitchen, and a door leading to my room with an adjoining bathroom. The place was dusty and dimly lit, but it was livable.

"Do you really feel the need to insult every aspect of my life?" I asked, removing my thick sweatshirt. The suicidal girl had commented on my appearance, my speech, and even how I walked during the entire way here.

"Not every aspect" she mumbled. "I never mentioned how disgusting it is that you reek of smoke."

"Well thanks for sparing me that heartache" I said sarcastically, shooting her a look of exasperation. Who would have known that this stray would turn out to be such a know-it-all ass?

"Do you want coffee?" I offered, making my way into the kitchen.

"Tea" she responded, then quickly added, "if you have any."

I nodded and set the kettle to boil, then moved to take a seat on the old sofa next to her. She scooted away slightly, and I sighed.

"Mom or dad?" I asked. It took a moment for her to process my inquiry.

"Dad" she finally answered. "My mom's dead, not that she would stop him anyway."

I smirked at the all too familiar tone of complete and utter numbness. "So what about you? Why do you live alone?" she spoke up.

"Ah, my mom kicked me out. Claimed she wasn't going to support a fag of a daughter" I said smoothly, having already mastered the art of nonchalance.

"I thought I picked up a gay vibe from you" she said. But unlike most people, she didn't spit out the words like they would burn her tongue by simple utterance.

The kettle whistled and I easily rose to pour her cup of tea. "Here" I offered, handing the girl the hot mug. It was chipped and well worn, a common trait held by all of all my belongings.

"You haven't old me your name yet" I stated, leaning back against the cushion.

"Neither have you."

I snorted in an attempt to laugh. "Alright. I'm Ymir, a first year" I said, glancing back over at her.

"Christa" she spoke quietly. "Same."

Christa, I thought, rolling the name across the tip of my tongue. It sounded familiar. Christa… Christa… Christa… Lenz!

"Christa Lenz!" I shouted, pointing at her in shock. "You're the angel of class 1B!"

She rolled her eyes, obviously well acquainted with the name.

"Wait… then why are you such a bitch?" I asked with genuine curiosity.

"It's a survival technique" Christa answered, blowing at the steam that rose off the top of the mug, "acting nice, that is. I figured if I was gentle and quiet and friendly, like girls are supposed to be, I'd be remembered fondly. Maybe I'd hold some sort of purpose in this fucked up world. So far all I've felt though, is… empty."

"So you resorted to killing yourself?" I enunciated with a disbelieving scoff. "You know, I really hate people like you. Quitting easily and living for those around you. Why don't you try living for yourself? Being artificial does you no good."

"Don't lecture me" she snapped.

"Why shouldn't I? You know what I said is true!" I exclaimed, rising to my feet.

Christa gritted her teeth and set the mug of tea atop a small table. "I'm leaving" she announced.

"Fine! Quit on this conversation too!" I shouted, throwing a jacket in her direction. She caught it, an expression of thorough confusion adorning her face.

"Wha-"

"It's cold outside" I answered evenly, "you'll get sick if you aren't careful."

She looked down at the piece of clothing in her hands, donning a slight blush. "I-I'm not going to thank you or anything."

"Wasn't planning on it."

She waited a moment longer, then reached toward the door and slowly swung it open. She was preparing to leave, then I said "Christa."

She paused. "If it gets to the point where you can't handle it again, you know where to find me."

Then she merely left without another word, slamming the door on her way out. And yet, despite everything that had been said, she returned. Again, and again, and again.

"My dad keeps nagging me about where I've spending my afternoons" Christa droned, sifting through the cupboards in my kitchen.

"Well you can tell him to fuck off" I replied, scrolling through the blonde's contact list on her phone.

"Trust me, I've tried" she muttered. "You need to go grocery shopping."

"Tell that to my low income" I countered, stopping at a new name on the list. She paused as well upon noticing my lingering gaze.

"What?" Christa asked with a hint of annoyance.

"Who's Hirako?"

She looked down and walked back over to kitchen. "Christa." She opened the refrigerator and began shifting around various items. "Christa, who is he?"

"A third year" she replied without turning to look at me.

I thought for a moment, trying to place an image to the name. "You mean that thin guy with glasses?"

"He's tall" Christa supplied, closing the fridge and walking back over to the couch.

"Bertholdt is tall. You've never been interested in him" I argued.

"Bert is… Bert" she said with a shrug.

"Is this about your popularity complex?" I asked, leaning back and setting the phone down.

"It's not a popularity complex, and you know that. So what if I get a boyfriend? That's what normal girls do" Christa defended with an expression of agitation. She smoothed down her skirt.

I rubbed my forehead and released a heavy sigh. "That's just wrong. You aren't even attracted to men."

"Women either" she added, crossing her arms over her chest. "So stop getting so worked up in your fits of jealousy."

"Don't start this" I whispered, closing my eyes while pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Why shouldn't I? I'll stop bringing it up when you get ahold of your feelings" she reprimanded.

I hated this. I hated her. I knew she never meant to harm me, but when she got worked up there was no censorship, and in the end both of us got burned. I couldn't help that I had fallen in love with her. And I damn well couldn't help that she would never love me back.

"It's getting late, Ymir" Christa stated softly. "I need to leave."

I cleared my throat and opened my eyes to gaze up at her sullen form blearily. "Yeah, alright. Goodnight blondie."

"Night, smoke breath."

Two weeks passed, and Christa made progress with the Goddamn third year. People had begun to talk about the two, claiming that they'd be "the cutest couple in the school." I found myself smoking more often, even taking bathroom breaks during class only to walk out back and have more than a few drags.

On Wednesday I sulked through the halls, halting when I sighted Christa fake giggling next to the glasses wearing kid. "You're so funny, senpai!" She said with a small squeal of delight. Her eyes were bright and she kept tucking stray locks of hair behind her ears, making her little act look rather believable. I suddenly felt very sick to the stomach.

As I turned to leave I bumped into Annie, who grumbled an apology. She looked up, and upon noticing it was me, glanced ahead at Christa. She frowned, sticking her hands in the pockets of her hoodie. "You should really try getting over her" Annie said. She pulled out a slip of paper with an address on it.

"You think I haven't tried?" I grumbled to my long time classmate.

She placed the slip of paper in my hand. "The third years are having a party at an abandoned warehouse this Friday. Connie managed to squeeze the address out of one of them. I'm sure there'll be plenty of alcohol, and most of all, girls."

"Are you, of all people, trying to hook me up?"

"I'm being a good friend. Be grateful, you asshole."

I released a small bark of laughter, and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You're a strange one, Leonhart."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever" she muttered while shrugging off my hand. The stiff blonde walked away, leaving me to gaze down at the thin slip, utterly conflicted.

So I went. There was no harm in letting loose every once in a while, except for the fact that not even ten minutes after I had arrived, I spotted the one person I was attempting to avoid.

Christa was latched onto that third year like a leech. I tried to slowly sink back into the drunken crowd, but the damned blondie spotted me before I could. She whispered a few things to what I assumed was her date, then made her way over to me. I inhaled the rest of the contents of the cup I had been holding. I felt a slight buzz and moved back to lean against a cold cement wall.

Lights pulsed, only worsening the alcohol's effect on my state of mind. When Christa finally made it over, the giddy expression had dripped off her face and her breath reeked of alcohol.

"I thought you hated crowds" she casually stated, resting a single hand on her hip. Her voice was slightly slurred and demeanor more laid back than usual.

"I'd say the same for you" I retorted, brushing hair out of my eyes.

"You look good" Christa commented, causing me to freeze. "I like the way those jeans fit you. And is that… eye liner?" She moved closer and stood on her tip toes to get a better look.

The proximity was too close for comfort, and I ordered my thundering heart to calm the fuck down. Christa leaned what seemed to be impossibly closer upon noticing my discomfort. "What is it, Ymir? I thought you would've liked being this close to me" she whispered.

"Back off, blondie, you're drunk" I advised, though halfheartedly. Self-control, I reminded myself. Acting on instinct would only further the damage. And the one getting burned would be none other than me.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling my head down and drawing our bodies even nearer. "What happened?" I muttered, taking note of the deep purple blotch on her collarbone.

"It doesn't…" she inhaled and looked me straight in the eye, "matter."

Then before I could stop it, Christa smashed our lips together as the cacophony of sounds faded around us. Something had happened, and she wanted to forget. What was so wrong with helping a friend out?

I pulled her small frame impossibly close, and lifting her up, she wrapped her legs tightly around my waist. Her lips heatedly moved against mine, leaving my mind completely blank. I gasped as she bit my lip, then I quickly grabbed a fistful of hair, holding her head in place. I sucked on her bottom lip, and Christa tightened her hold around my neck in response.

Suddenly I was pinning her against the wall as our mouths moved in synchrony. The world around us was dead. All I had was this moment, and I damn well wasn't about to waste it.

Christa panted as we broke apart, I gasping for air as well. Her eyes were heavily lidded, and I realized that she was more intoxicated than I had originally assumed. Sighing, she leaned her head back against the wall.

Lowering the small girl back down to her feet, I quickly rethought my actions as her knees grew weak. I grabbed her before she could collapse. "Hey, blondie, you alright?" I asked with sincere concern.

"Mm" she moaned. No, this sudden drowsiness couldn't be due to simply alcohol alone. I ground my teeth and gently lifted Christa up, leaning her smaller frame against my shoulder.

"Oi, jackass!" I shouted, moving to grab Christa's third year bastard with my free hand. "What'd you give her?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" He exclaimed, raising his hands in surrender. I saw the tip of a small plastic bag sticking out from his pocket. I yanked it out and waved it in front of his face.

"Don't know, my ass! You fucking drugged her" I growled, lifting the little rat up by his collar. "I swear, you touch Christa again, I'll kill you" I snarled, finally dropping him. He fell flat on his ass out of shock, and I carried the sleeping girl away as the multitude stared after us.

I took a long drag, relinquishing the feel of the poisonous smoke slowly rotting my already damaged lungs. The night air felt wonderful after wading through the stuffy atmosphere of the crowded warehouse.

I had brought Christa back to my apartment and let her sleep in my bed. She hadn't woken since we left, and no way in hell was I bringing her back to her old man's place. A couple of hours had passed and I'd received a few calls from our classmates. I assured them all that she was fine, just resting, and that we'd get back to them either the next day or Monday.

I exhaled with half lidded eyes, drowsiness weighing down my shoulders, but the evening's events struggled to keep me awake. I leaned heavily against the railing outside my apartment door, lazily watching as cars drove by like small flashes of light in the night's thick darkness.

I heard the soft turn of a knob, and I looked back to find Christa, wrapped up in one of my blankets, standing in the door frame. "Hey" she said, moving to lean beside me.

"Hey" I greeted back, placing the cigarette between my lips once again. I didn't say anything else. Honestly, I didn't feel like speaking. I hurt, Christa hurt, the whole Goddamn world hurt.

"I'm sorry" she whispered, rubbing her palms against the materials of her pants. Even with the absence of a skirt, she still had that nervous tick.

"Forget it" I mumbled through the smoke. Neither of us looked at each other. I think that was for the best. "What'd he do this time?"

Christa released a heavy sigh as she closed her eyes. "He heard I was going to the fucking party, so he threw a book at me." She placed her fingers over the angry mark on her pale skin.

"Just say the word and I'll put that bastard in his place" I stated, blinking lazily.

"You can't solve violence with violence." She wasn't even irritated, just… tired.

The inky black sky wasn't much to look at, yet I couldn't bring myself to tear my eyes off of it. Sometimes I compared humanity to that seemingly endless vortex. Dark, cold, and thoroughly unreadable. And most of the time, completely unreachable.

"I… I need to know one thing" I said, taking a drag between statements. "People do honest things when they're drunk. I just want to know, was that kiss an honest act? Or… was it nothing?"

"Ymir" Christa whispered with a hint of exasperation.

"Please. If it meant nothing, just tell me, and I'll know it's time to give up on you." I finally turned to her. I felt heartbroken, and it probably showed, and for once Christa looked the same. "I will give up on you."

She inhaled deeply, already accustomed to the smoke that lingered wherever I was. "It…" She pushed her hair back and blinked tiredly. "It meant nothing. I was drunk, and confused, and that's the extent of it. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." I looked down at the cigarette between my fingers. I was nearing the end of it, and I swallowed every ounce of pain thudding inside of my chest as the tobacco's ash fell to asphalt below. "There's never been a reason for you to be sorry in the first place."

AN: Drop a review on your way out, ne?