I was set on edge the moment she addressed me. Outside of a professional situation, Alberta was never so formal with me. I wasn't sure what she needed to speak to me about, but I could definitely take a couple of guesses. When she shut her office door behind us, I was fairly certain that the conversation wouldn't be in my favor.

"Please, take a seat."

I sat in the chair across from her, with her desk in between us. It didn't escape my notice that she refused to meet my eyes. After several tense and silent moments, she finally looked up and spoke.

"Here is what's going to happen. You are going to listen to everything I have to say on the matter, answer whatever questions I have honestly, and then you are going to make me a promise. Okay?"

I hesitantly agreed, knowing that I really didn't have any other choice.

"I know there is something more between you and Rose."

I opened my mouth to speak. I wasn't sure if it would be a denial or a defense, but it didn't matter because she raised her hand to stop me before I could begin.

"Please. I've seen it with my own eyes in the way you two act around each other. I've known Rose nearly her entire life and it didn't take long for me to realize that you were more than just a mentor to her. And you...you might have been inconspicuous in your affection for her but someone would need to be blind not to see how much you have changed since she entered your life. So please, don't insult me by denying it. I'm not here to condemn you because of it."

"You aren't?" This was either a surprising turn of events...or a dangerous set up.

"No. I can't really say that I'm pleased with the entire situation, it's hardly ideal, but you two seem to bring out the best in each other. More importantly, you make her happy and that is something that means more to me than almost anything else. However, I need to make sure you understand a few things."

I nodded, silently, still wary of the conversation.

"Have you ever encouraged or forced anything improper on her?" She asked her question with a calm demeanor but I knew that it was a facade hiding something much more deadly. Horrified that she felt the need to ask at all, I answered quickly.

"No. Never. I -"

"That's all I need to know on the subject. I don't want details. Just be sure that answer never changes."

I would never force Rose, or any other woman for that matter, to do anything against their will. Growing up in a house full of woman made me not only protective of my family, but gave me a high respect for women in general.

"Have you considered what happens after graduation?" She pressed, continuing with her examination.

This time I looked away ashamed. As much as I hated to admit it, the same impending reason for us to stay apart was still looming like a dark storm cloud on the horizon. Our emotions would put Lissa at risk.

"We both understand our duty," I answered, trying put conviction in my words. "Rose and I will put Princess Vasilisa's life above our own...or each other's."

Even though I knew it was the response I needed to give, I was surprised to see the disappointment in her countenance. "Then I guess all I can ask of you is that you don't hurt her, at least not any more than what can't be avoided. I don't envy the difficult situation you two find yourselves in, but I also understand how rare love is for our kind." Alberta looked out the window and smiled for a second, as if savoring a precious memory if only for a moment. "I can't fault you to for loving one another, but promise me that you won't cause her more pain than joy."

"I swear it." The promise wasn't made for Alberta's sake, but for my own. I couldn't bare the thought of willingly causing any pain to Rose if there was any other option.

"Thank you, Dimitri. You are free to go."

As my hand touched the door knob, Alberta awoke from her lost memories one last time with a final request. "Look after her, Dimitri, but please try to be a bit more subtle when you do."

I froze under the implication, but was reassured by her playful smirk. I responded with a quick nod and left to find Rose.

I wasn't able to find Rose right away. She wasn't in her dorm, so unless she had stayed in her afternoon classes, I could only think of one other place to find her right now.

I sat on small stone bench that looked out over the pond at the edge of the cemetery. I knew a plaque with his Mason's name would be added to it soon. Mason's parents had wanted to take his body home to be buried close to them, but Guardian Petrov had insisted that something be done in his memory here as well. I wasn't sure if she had a soft spot for the boy or is this was an extension of the love she had for Rose. He had died for her, and that had certainly endeared him to me.

"Thank you, Mason." I whispered, feeling slightly awkward talking to the cold air around me. Still, I needed to say these things, and I only hoped that he could somehow hear me. "Thank you for being there for Rose when I couldn't be, for protecting her when I wasn't able to. There are so many things I wish I could change. Perhaps if I hadn't said anything at the lodge, maybe you would still be here. You were far too young to die, but you did so saving Rose and I can't thank you enough for that.

"I didn't know you well, but I know you loved her. We have that in common. She loves you too, you know. She hasn't been the same since you've been gone, and I doubt she ever will be. Don't worry though. I'll be there for her from now on. I'll protect her like you did. Still, if you can keep an eye on her, perhaps offer her some comfort, I think it would go a long way.

"I'll never be able to show you just how grateful I am, but please know that you have my utmost respect."

It all seemed so inadequate. Nothing I could say would ever be enough for what he did. He never had the chance to graduate but he gave his life in the protection of another. In my book, that more than made him worthy of the title.

"Rest well Guardian Ashford, and thank you for your sacrifice. It will not be forgotten."

Since Rose had apparently attended all of her afternoon classes, I thought that today might also be the day that she would also show up for practice. I had no intention of actually leading any training sessions this evening, but I hoped that we would finally have a few moments to talk. About Mason. About her kills. About us.

She walked out of the locker room, exactly on time for once, dressed in her full training gear. I slipped my bookmark into the book I was reading – though I hadn't actually been able to read a single line while I waited for her – and set it aside.

"I thought you might come by."

"It's time for practice," she replied blankly, as if was any other day...as she hadn't been mentally out of it for nearly a week.

I just shook my head. "No. No practice today. You still need to recover."

"I've got a clean bill of health. I'm good to go." I could tell she was forcing a brave face and a smile, because neither made it to her eyes. Those were still filled with sorrow.

I gestured to the seat beside me. "Sit down, Rose."

She hesitated but eventually sat down. I twisted my own chair so that I was turned towards her, face to face. I could see that she was having difficulty looking at me in the eye, but for a moment they met, and I swear my heart skipped a beat. Even if she was struggling at the moment, I counted myself lucky once again that she was still here. I had come so close to losing her, and the thought still kept me up at night.

"No one gets over their first kill," I paused and corrected myself, "...kills...easily. Even with Strigoi...well it's still technically taking a life. That's hard to come to terms with. And after everything else you went through..." I couldn't get the image of her cradling Mason's body out of my mind. It haunted my nightmares, and when I awoke I was reassured with nothing but silence and blank stares. I reached for her hands, needing that small comfort and hoping that it offered her some in return. "When I saw your face...when you found you in that house...you can't imagine how I felt."

She stared at my hand clasped around hers, my thumb gently stroking knuckles. "How...how did you feel?"

In a instant, I was back in that doorway. The shock of seeing her still and that one moment, that one moment that felt longer than eternity, where I thought she was gone from this world. To this day, I still wasn't sure what I would have done had that been the truth. I could live loving Rose silently from the sidelines. I could suffer watching her finding happiness and moving on without me. But I wasn't sure I could exist in a world that didn't include her in it. I prayed that I'd never have to find out, though our profession wasn't exactly known for its survival rate.

Then, when she was alive but so broken...I had seen new guardians break in a similar manner. We don't talk about it often, but guardians have been known to check out and never come back. They don't typically last long after that. An old classmate of mine committed suicide less than a week after his partner died in combat. They said that the survivor's guilt had been too much for him. I had wanted to put Rose on 24 hour watch the first few days but between me, Lissa, Alberta, and Janine, we were able to keep a pretty close eye on her without submitting anything official.

"Devastated," I admitted. "Grief stricken. You were alive, but the way you looked...I didn't think you'd ever recover. And it tore me apart to think of that happening to you so young." I squeeze her hand, using my next words as a declaration to us both. "You will recover. I know that now, and I'm glad. But you aren't there. Not yet. Losing someone you care about is never easy."

She looked down, hiding her face from me and mumbled something that I couldn't quite make out besides the word 'fault'.

"Hmmm?" I tried to get her to look up but she refused.

"Mason," she whispered, curling in on her self. "Getting killed."

"Oh, Roza. No..." She blamed herself. God, how had I not seen it before. I was so focused on the fact that she had lost someone that I never stopped to think that she might have blamed herself for that loss. I nearly reached out to embrace her, but I wasn't sure if physical touch would just make her close off from me again. I chose my next words carefully. I didn't want to be too harsh with her, but I knew I couldn't make light of something like this either. "You made some bad decisions – you should have told others when you knew he was gone – but you can't blame yourself. You didn't kill him."

When she looked up, she was on the edge of tears. "I might as well have. The whole reason he went there...it was my fault," she insisted, pulling her hands from mine and letting her face fall into them. "We had a fight...and I told him about the Spokane thing, even though you asked me not to..."

Her shoulders started shaking in silent sobs, and I brushed her shoulder to test the waters of acceptable comfort. She refused to look at me until I brushed the tears from her cheek. I couldn't stand the sight of them. Her pain was mine.

"You can't blame yourself for that," I reassured her, accepting the truth that I couldn't blame myself for Mason's death either. "You can regret your decisions and wish you'd done things differently, but in the end, Mason made his decisions too. That's what he chose to do. It was his decision in the end, no matter your original role."

I hated myself for it, but I was grateful that Mason went back for her. It was the same thing I would have done in his place. It might have cost Mason his life, but it most likely saved Roza. However, this was a prime example of how our emotions could interfere with our duty and put both us and our charge in danger.

"I just wish I'd been able to...I don't know...do anything."

I understood exactly where she was coming from. I felt the same way. Before I could tell her as much, I saw her steel herself. She pulled away from me, stood, and brushed her hands on her shirt. She was closing herself off from me, going as far as to brush my touch from her skin.

"I should go. Let me know when you want to start practice again. And thanks for..." she paused and softened just a little, "talking."

I couldn't let her walk away again. This was the most open she had been with me in days. Honestly this was probably the most open she had been with me in weeks, not including that moment on the roof of the Lodge. Everything took a turn for the worse between us the moment I had pushed her away that day she kissed me in the gym. I needed her to realize how much she meant to me.

"No." I said it so abruptly, I wasn't sure exactly what I was protesting. I didn't want her to leave but there was more to it then that...

She turned back to me, understandably confused. "What?"

I held her gaze, instinctively knowing what to tell her, and feeling my heart swell because of it. "No. I told her no. Tasha."

Her eyes grew wide and she quickly moved back towards me. "I...but...why? That was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. You could have had a baby and," she stopped suddenly, looking a bit uncomfortable before continuing on, "and she was, you know, into you..."

Of course Rose would realize the extent of Tasha's affection before I did. "Yes, she was. Is," I corrected. "And that's why I had to say no. I couldn't return that." I stepped closer, closing the distance between us to something that I would typically consider inappropriate for what our professional relationship should have entailed. It seemed ridiculous to be wary of something like that given the conversation we were having. "I couldn't give her what she wanted. Not when my heart is somewhere else."

Her eyebrows furrowed for a moment, before her head snapped up with wide eyes of realization. "But you seemed so into her. And you kept going on about how young I acted."

I cringed slightly, recognizing that I hadn't had some of my finer moments in those arguments with her. "You act young because you are young," I told her, "but you know things, Roza. Things people older than you don't even know. That day..." I gestured to the spot where I had pressed her against the wall in a moment of blind desperation, "You were right, about how I fight to stay in control. No one else has ever figured that out, and it scared me. You scare me." It was hard admitting that to her. I put on a constant front. In the end, I guess it didn't matter though. Rose could see right through me like nobody else could.

"Why? Don't you want anyone to know?"

I shrugged nonchalantly, as if I wasn't terrified about admitting these things to her. "Whether they know that fact of not doesn't matter. What matters is that someone – that you – know me that well. When a person can see into your soul, it's hard. It forces you to be open. Vulnerable. It's much easier being with someone who's just more of a casual friend."

"Like Tasha." It wasn't a question.

"Tasha Ozera is an amazing woman." I felt the need to defend the person who offered so much and was now keeping my secret. "She's beautiful and she brave, but she doesn't -"

"She doesn't get you," Rose finished, showing once again just how much she understood me.

I nodded, looking down at her in awe. "I knew that, but I still wanted the relationship. I knew it would be easy and she could take me away from you." I was standing close enough that it didn't take much for me to brush my fingers against the smooth skin of her arm. "I thought she could make me forget you."

"But she couldn't."

It seems like such a ridiculous idea now, that I can hardly believe that I had entertained the thought at all. She looked away, and I could see a small trace of sorrow in her eyes. She was thinking of Mason, I realized, and I wondered if Rose and I were more alike than I had thought.

"Yes," I admitted, "and so...that's a problem."

"Because it's wrong for us to be together."

"Yes."

"Because of the age difference."

"Yes."

"But more importantly because we're going to be Lissa's guardians and need to focus on her – not each other."

"Yes."

She looked away, and all I could think about was how unfair fate was. I had never met anyone else like Roza, but there were so many things in our way. It practically cruel.

"Well," she said, looking back towards me, "the way I see it, we aren't Lissa's guardians yet." I could already see the small flicker of hope diminishing. She was expecting me to push her away yet again.

I couldn't blame her for assuming I would. All the reasons I should had just been laid out for me. But I couldn't bear to be the cause of her pain any more, and damn it, I was tired of hurting too.

So I kissed her.

It was gentle at first, but it was so hard to hold back. I was so ready just too let go and show her just how much I cared about her. With her face held gently in my hands, I brushed her lips tentatively, allowing her to pull away if she wanted too. When I felt her hands pull me closer though, I allowed ourselves to delve deeper, getting lost in the kiss and just allowing ourselves to feel those emotions we had been holding back for too long.

Eventually, I pulled back. I was getting carried away in the moment. Leaving the comfort of her lips, I pressed a kiss to her forehead and held her close to me, prolonging the joyous feeling as long as I could. I hoped that this was enough of a reassurance to her, to us both, that this was just the beginning for us. That I was planning on standing by her and somehow...somehow we'd find a way to work this out. I had not intention of letting go of her.

Well, in the figurative sense. Literally, it was getting late and she's need to be getting back to her dorm before curfew. With one last kiss I stepped back. "I'll see you later, Roza."

"At our next practice? We are starting those up again, right? I mean, you still have things to teach me."

I stood in the doorway and just took in the sight of her. I admired her flushed cheeks and swollen lips, her hair that was slightly messed from my fingers working through it, and most importantly, the first real smile I had seen grace her lips in a long time. She was absolutely beautiful.

"Yes," I promised. "Lots of things."

Author's Note

A HUGE thank you to all of you who have been loyal readers of my series thus far. It's always bittersweet to see a story come to a close, but it has been a great experience bringing it to life. It has been a pleasure to read your reviews week after week and share this journey with you. You guys are amazing.

Please do me a favor: If you liked this story and would recommended it to a friend, please take a moment to favorite it. I typically look for new stories to read based on the favorite lists of other readers and it would mean the world to me if you helped pass this story along to others.

A few notes about Shadow Kiss. I WILL be writing it from Dimitri's POV (I plan to do all the VA books) but I will be taking about a month break before posting Shadow Kiss so I can re-read the book, write some key scenes, and work on some plot details. Once the first post is made, I will update this story to let you know. I have also updated my story list and posting schedule on my profile so you can see what is coming in the future. Don't forget that if you have followed and favorited me as an author, you will be notified anytime I post new stories! It's a huge honor to be added to a favorite author list and I am really grateful to the over 150 of you that have already done so. Seriously, I never imagined having such wonderful support here and I am constantly amazed by it. I promise that I will ALWAYS try to make you guys proud and live up to the faith you place in me.

I hope all of you who reviewed last week enjoyed your preview of the new story. I have one final preview for those of you who review on this chapter. Meet Me in the Memory will start posting NEXT week on Wednesday nights, so keep an eye out for it. The DPOV series will continue taking the Saturday/Sunday update slot when it goes live.

This week's Question of the Week is to help me better myself as an author and hopefully provide a better reading experience for you guys in the future. What is your favorite and least favorite things about these stories and about me as an author. I would like to continue to grow, so as long as you do so constructively and with respect, I am open to criticism. If you can do this as a signed in user, that would be amazing. I'd love to talk to you more via private messages so I can really take your suggestions to heart and work on them in the future. Thank you in advance.

Thank you again for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting. Please feel free to drop me a line in my inbox if you ever want to chat. You guys are absolutely amazing and I will see you all again soon!

P.S. Happy Mother's Day to all you lovely ladies. Here's wishing you breakfast in bed.