Chapter 42

"Now Rhett, I did take your advice. After you left, I went to Tara. The fields were badly burnt and Will had somehow managed to get the field-hands to co-operate and clear away the depressing trails of mud and ash. And then the inevitable argument broke out between me and Suellen. She had taken it into her head that I had exposed Tara and the entire family to ridicule in the sight of our neighbors and friends. I defended myself. But I spoke frankly to her. And we opened Pandora's box, dragging out all our ugly memories to the light." Scarlett paused thoughtfully. "Suellen is as thick-headed as ever. You should have heard her talk. She still hasn't understood the reality of everything that we've suffered, both during and after the war. The terrible poverty, the fears of hunger and the constant threat to Tara in the form of Yankee raiders or taxes. I don't think she has realized how much I've done for the family and for Tara.."

"I don't think any woman and not many men will realize anything you've done, Scarlett. Miss. Melly being the sole exception. And even if they did, I don't think they would come right out and voice their approval-"

"Yes, I know. But I never understood it until now. That's the one thing I've been missing. Understanding what is really going on in other people's heads. And that's what I finally did. We rode out in our carriage together to Fanny August's house. And she rattled on and on about different things and her opinions on them. And that's when I realized that it isn't in Suellen to understand anything practical. You should hear her talk. Good Heavens! She could confuse even you with her silly notions." Scarlett laughed at the memory but there as no malice in her voice. "But I mustn't dismiss Suellen as a complete goose. For the next day she got the black women together and she started teaching them sewing. She is really very good at teaching things. I never had much patience with teaching. But Suellen prides herself as a good seamstress. She likes sitting in that big old armchair and teaching all the little nuances of sewing. I suppose it makes her feel lady-like and important. And the next week, all her friends came to give her company." Scarlett opened out the little handkerchief that she held in her gloved hand. "She made this for me. Isn't it sweet?"

It was a plain white handkerchief with a knot of roses embroidered along the edges and a bit of home-made lace sewn neatly all along the sides.

"Suellen's silly like that. She gets easily excited and generous when a lot of women sit together and sew or embroider things. We used to do the same at Melly's house.. me, Melanie, Mrs. Elsing and India.. but I never cared much for sewing. Not unless there was a ball to go to or some handsome beau to impress." Scarlett laughed again and her green eyes sparkled. "But I suppose Suellen longs for company of this sort and this endless world of threads and patterns. Now that she has gotten her own sewing circle to meet at the house, she is blissfully happy.

Rhett had been listening cordially so far. But a sudden spark of genuine interest seemed to light up his dark eyes and he watched her keenly.

"She isn't so bad, Rhett. We are sisters after all. Once I saw what was really in her head, I realized that it isn't in her to understand anything about me. If I hadn't gotten that three hundred dollars from Frank and paid the taxes, she wouldn't have such a large home to entertain her friends in. Will would have probably left and she would have married late to some undeserving Cracker like Cathleen Calvert. Some day, when she is old and gray, she might remember and be grateful though. And for some strange reason, I am quite all right with it, Rhett. We do get along quite well together and Will is grateful to me for talking Suellen into holding these sewing classes. Nearly ten to fifteen black women turned up to learn and you know how these activities strengthen the loyalty of the tenant families. It felt nice just to see it all-"

Scarlett stood up and began to walk slowly into the deeper regions of the forest. Rhett followed behind.

"It was Grandma Fontaine who gave me the idea of speaking to the field-hands about their vagrancy charges. It had been a much avoided subject until then. So, the next day, I went out to the fields with Will and spoke to Elijah, his sons and the foremen. I told them that the reason I charged high prices for the machinery, the ploughshares, the carts and horses and even the food and medicine was because I saw no other way to keep them under my control. I told them that I distrusted them because of their various debts-"

"What did they say?" asked Rhett, alertly.

"Well, at first they didn't say anything. And when I came back to the house, Elijah and a few of his sons came to my little office and they admitted that they could see things from my point of view. They too suspected Mr. Westley of playing a dirty trick with the cotton seeds and they wanted me to assure them that no harm would come to the ten men who were imprisoned during the riot night." Scarlett nodded to Rhett. "And I struck a deal. I told them that if I could get their support and pin this entire mess on Mr. Westley, then their tenant debts at Tara and the previous plantations would get considerably reduced and whoever wanted to leave for a better occupation, could leave. I wouldn't force them. But whoever stayed behind had to work hard and in due time, after a good harvest or two, I would equip them with better shacks and vegetable gardens."

"Bravo! Shrewd yet commendable business tactics, Mrs. Butler! And without your usual masterful vein. How very refreshing!"

"And I know I've complained about Elijah before, but he is not too bad either. He is very slow but has extremely well-polished manners for a house servant. He too breaks out in righteous indignation once in a while like Mammy." Scarlett giggled at this. "He went around the shacks and spoke to the other foremen and we were able to work up an agreement. Elijah wanted to buy his own mules and ploughs. So did some of the others and I agreed. The only condition I made was that their equipment must be of good quality so that farming activities will not be delayed. And ever since that day, Elijah has been most courteous and helpful. I think he and his family may stay on at Tara...permanently."

"Meanwhile" continued Scarlett. "I decided to go around and renew connections with the neighbors. Hetty Tarleton is getting married next week and we must attend her wedding, Rhett. I'm sure you will be tickled to bits. Mrs. Tarleton is awful at any kind of housework and I'm sure something will be amiss at the wedding. Some comical event - somebody will lose the ring or the arrangements will be in utter disarray. I'm expecting some kind of fiasco. I think everyone is." Scarlett's eyes danced with merriment. "I promised Mrs. Tarleton most faithfully that Suellen and I will do our best to help Hetty and I meant it too. I've been so out of touch with quality female companionship that the very prospect of helping out at a wedding seems invigorating. Oh, they are all good people, Rhett. And yes, we have had our differences but-" Scarlett sighed. "I have finally realized that I need their company. Even if it is silly company. Anyone for that matter, even Suellen. There is no need to prove anything to them. I've always tried my best to make the girls either jealous or envious of me. And I've always been envious or jealous of them. But now I realize that it is an utter waste of time. I am as mysterious to them as Ashley was to me. If you remember the way I approached things after the war. All these women were happy to waltz in their rags and patched up gowns. But I wanted new gowns. Ones that would make me look like a real lady. And I slaved hard so that none in my family would ever go hungry again. Food, clothes, shelter - they were more important to me than honor or sentiment. And no one has it in them to understand these simple things. Oh, what a prize fool I've been to try and win their approval or to take their accusations personally!" Scarlett's back was turned but Rhett could hear her soft, melodious laughter.

"I do believe that you are at long last laughing at yourself." he chuckled, softly.

"Yes I am. I'm laughing at myself for taking everyone so seriously! But I do think you, Melly, Will and even Ashley understood how much hard work I put in to bring everyone out of poverty. Ashley knew it but he only wanted to forget it out of shame at his own plight-"

"The sublime and honorable thing to do-"

"Yes, damn his honor! But Melly was always so sweet and loyal. You were right. She was all heart, wasn't she? Did you know, Rhett.. Melly didn't have much relatives when she married Ashley. She did have those Burr cousins at Macon but she always called me her sister. And when you left us at Rough and Ready, I know I didn't pull Melly along for the right reasons but she was forever grateful. I went around to apologize to her after that awful reception but she wouldn't hear one word of it. She gave me so much respect and affection and now that I think about it.. I know its too late now, but I do deserve it, Rhett. I could have easily abandoned her and little Beau along the road to Tara. But I didn't, did I?"

Rhett faintly bowed his head to this and chuckled softly once again. He seemed to be highly amused by Scarlett's words.

"I helped Melly out of pure charity and I gave Ashley a job at my mill. I don't think he would have survived on in his own.. even in New York-"

"He wouldn't have."

"Suddenly I feel so light-headed." said Scarlett, her eyes wandering over the tall pines that seemed to hem them in. "As if I haven't a care in the world. Oh, I know I've always wanted to tell the world to go to Halifax. But I've decided that I need the world. Well not too much.. but just a little bit of it. Did I tell you how much I love these dark pines, Rhett? They look so solid, so comforting.. And when we lay down on the grass and look up, we feel completely at peace-" Scarlett took a long breath of satisfaction. "Oh I feel so happy, I could sing-"

"Before you do-" called Rhett, grinning and sauntering over to her in his lithe Indian gait. His eyes were very black and blazing with some mysterious light. "Don't I get some form of thanks for your change in... ideas?"

"Oh? And what form of thanks shall you like? A handshake perhaps? Or a chaste peck on the cheek?" Scarlett's emerald eyes laughed saucily at Rhett.

"I do believe the Scarlett of old is returning. With a toss of her black hair and a haughty twist of her white nose, she looks down on all her beaus."

Scarlett started laughing and Rhett took her hands and pulled her to him. His eyes travelled to her lips and he had a queer, longing look on his swarthy, brown face. "Come now Scarlett, don't be mean. You owe me a kiss-"

"I don't think I owe you anything, Rhett Butler and I won't kiss you." Scarlett's expression grew serious. "At least not until you tell me about that "tiny bit of bad news" concerning Mr. Westley and Tara. Oh, yes I haven't forgotten about it. I think you are cruel not to tell me right away since it concerns Tara-"

Rhett gazed steadily at her. "You do realize I could steal those kisses from your lips, don't you?"

"It wouldn't be the same." shot back Scarlett, spiritedly. "And it is not what you want."

"Oh?"

"What you want .. is for the woman who stood out in the bare fields of Tara, swearing to God that she'd lie, cheat and kill if necessary to make sure that she and her family will never go hungry again.. you want that woman to kiss you.. the woman who didn't care if the whole Southern gentry were watching when she danced on such dainty feet at the Atlanta Ball, the woman who drove her buggy while pregnant to keep her mills and store running.. you want that woman to make love to you." Rhett seemed to relent a little and Scarlett pressed on, "You wouldn't want to kiss me.. not until you found out how well I could make love to you-"

Rhett smiled resignedly at this and released her from his grip. "Well, I consulted a few of my legal contacts and as much as they want to help, they think that perhaps once we lay out the charges against Mr. Westley, you might have to come to court."

Scarlett gasped at this.

"I won't let it come to that, don't worry. I'll try my best to keep you out of it. But the snag remains that you were the only one to suspect that Boy was killed by Mr. Westley. And you were also the one to send Cobbs and Cotton out into the woods when Mr. Westley's thugs tried to kill them-"

Scarlett squared her shoulders with growing defiance. "Well, we will just have to see these things together. I'm sure the news will spread all over Atlanta that I appeared in court. But I don't care. What ever reputation I lose, I'm sure I can win it back. And if any of the matrons try to sermonize on what a lady should do or shouldn't, why I'll speak the truth. I'll tell them that I never expected a riot to break out and all about Mr. Westley's underhanded dealings. I'll tell them that nothing will stand in the way of restoring Tara and that I have the complete support of the black field-hands. I'm sure they will never cut me off. I can relate to every one of their struggles after the war. We have too much in common to keep up this senseless cycle of giving and receiving offense. I'll make them see that I was right and I..I-"

Rhett laughed softly and took her face in his hands.

"Stop laughing at me!. I mean every word I say-"

"I? Laugh at you? Heaven forbid!" said Rhett, still chuckling. "I'm merely admiring your new-found ferocity. It thrills me no end to see you love yourself like this. What a remarkable change you have undergone in these last few days- You know, I do believe you will win the hearts of everyone in Atlanta. Now that you are finally out of your shell." Rhett gazed at her in genuine admiration. "But you don't have to be so brave. I won't allow things to come to that. I'll keep you safe as much as I can-"

Scarlett threw her arms around Rhett's shoulders and peered fondly into his eyes. "I know you will-" Her arms tightened around his neck and she began to kiss him. She parted his lips, kissing him as passionately and as intensely as he had kissed her, the day he made his declaration. When she drew back and opened her eyes, he leaned in expecting her to continue her kisses.

"Come now, Scarlett.. that was hardly a kiss-"

But Scarlett would not be rushed. She lingered close to him, her face inches away from his and her eyes never leaving his dark ones. "You know, I've always thought it would be such fun to have you begging me for a kiss or a smile- I thought I should let you kiss me once and then never allow any more kisses until you jump through a few hoops for me. And if you did make a declaration, I thought I should smile sweetly and say that I could only be a sister to you!."

Rhett laughed loudly and observed, "It is regrettably late, in regard to the declaration, Scarlett.. since we are already good and married for so many years. But I suppose in asking you for a kiss, I have committed the inevitable-" Rhett steeled himself and mockingly summoned a brave face. "All right Scarlett, I am game for anything. Show me those hoops. What would you have me do?"

Scarlett's face fell at his annoyingly good-humored way of tackling her jibes. "Nothing." she sighed, glumly. "Oh, stop laughing, you devil. You look so sweet, I haven't the heart to tease you any further."

"My dear, you are too kind."

Scarlett tightened her arms around his neck again. "But Rhett, we have had a hell of a good time, haven't we? Right from the very beginning.. we have enjoyed ourselves like no one else." Her face twitched faintly. "You once said that what was broken was broken and I suppose it is very true. We can't go back and change the hurts and the poisons of the past. But tomorrow is another day and we still have chances of making things the way they should be-"

"Who taught you that phrase?" asked Rhett, kindly.

"It is one of my own", replied Scarlett.

"Today, you are full of surprises. Scarlett. You've grown so much from the stubborn, bull-headed little child I knew." He pulled her closer against him. "Now, give your best sweetheart a kiss?"

Scarlett undid the top few buttons of her dress. Seeing Rhett's eyes rove across her exposed flesh, she took his lips in hers and began to kiss him again. Her lips travelled down his throat and she felt him jerking back with the faintest gasp. Realizing that he liked the sensation of her lips on his throat, she held his chin up and pressed her lips again. Again, a sharp tremor seemed to run through his hard muscles. Before Scarlett could sense what was happening, she felt fingers searching under her voluminous petticoats and tugging at the drawstrings of her pantalets. She gasped once for she hadn't bargained on so violent an attraction. And before she could swat Rhett's hands away, her undergarments had slipped around her ankles in a heap. "Oh of all the silly things to do!" cried Scarlett, more from annoyance than mortification.

Rhett shot her a sheepish look while she glanced around, wondering for the first time if they were visible to anyone watching from the house. But they were well into the woods now and the forest stretched before them, serene and calm.

She turned back to Rhett and found his eyes frowning at the sight of the undergarments.

"Scarlett, what is this?" he demanded, picking at the cut-work linen around her ankles. "Why aren't you wearing those linen knickers I bought for you in England?"

Scarlett blinked, wondering how anyone who was so passionately lost in love just moments ago could suddenly turn so impersonal and cold.

"Rhett, you know I can't wear those around Tara. The people there, my friends, Suellen's friends, the neighbors.. they are so nosey.. They'd notice the smallest things and everyone there still wears pantalets. If mine didn't show, they'd think I wasn't wearing any-"

Rhett's eyes seemed to twinkle with malice. "Madam, you do realize that it is severely disproportionate with everything else that you are wearing?"

"Well, yes. I suppose it is. " admitted Scarlett, sheepishly. "You know how country folks are." She threw him an accusatory glance. "You don't dress like a dandy when you go visiting people around the countryside-"

"No I don't." replied Rhett. "But I make sure that my attire matches with everything else that I'm wearing. You, my dear girl, are eager to parade in your chic Parisienne clothes and yet you are afraid to appear completely conspicuous. It betrays extremely poor taste and hypocrisy on your part so you get rid of your pantalets and start wearing knickers. And after you made me wait an entire half-day while you chose fine linen and silk with layers and layers of imported lace. I won't have you wasting those!."

Scarlett, smarting under this honest jibe, sourly reached down for her pantalets. Then her green eyes lighted up spiritedly. "You know Rhett, you can never really be a gentleman unless you display good old-fashioned Southern chivalry to the ladies. A gentleman always pretends to believe a lady even if he knew that she was lying. It makes life so much easier for the lady. A gentleman pays and accepts nice, polite compliments. He doesn't bore people to tears with his endless cross-examination of motives and ideas."

Rhett laughed out loud at this but he didn't make his usual arrogant repartee. Instead he began watching Scarlett with some amusement as she struggled without success to pull up her pantalets. "Scarlett, I do wish you wouldn't run off to Tara just now." he drawled, in his pleasant resonant voice. "I bought a large freshwater crawfish and some of your favorite sauces. We could have a long lunch and you could leave in the evening."

"Oh, I don't know, Rhett." mumbled Scarlett, distracted by her awkward predicament.

"And there are other things to do-" Rhett's silky voice trailed off suggestively. But its effect was lost on Scarlett who burst out in exasperation, "Great balls of fire, I can't even bend an extra inch over this maddening corset!"

"Poor darling, here, let me help you!" offered Rhett, at once. Scarlett started to offer the drawstrings to him and then held back as she spotted a gleam in the dark depths of his eyes.

"Thank you, no." she replied, stiffly.

"Yours is a capricious nature, Scarlett. At first you chide me most cruelly for not being a chivalrous gentleman and now you brush away my best efforts to be the same. This is the second courageous effort to display signs of my gentility, mind you. The first being the gallant declaration I made to you at your parlor when you were tipsy with brandy-"

"Yes, yes I remember that!" interjected Scarlett, hastily. She tried once more to hoist the material above her hips and failed. She sighed and cast a suspicious eye upon Rhett. "You know, if you really wanted to be chivalrous, you wouldn't have behaved so vilely in the first place. And what of all that talk about relishing things slowly? My goodness, just moments ago you looked piratical enough to take me right here!"

"Please Scarlett, don't laugh at me." begged Rhett, his expression suddenly quiet and somber. "In complete truth, it was never my intention to rush through so quickly. But then I've never been so aroused before. I've never seen you like this. So confident and refreshingly womanly-"

Scarlett smiled, satisfied at these humble words. Eager to encourage such manners, she continued more kindly,

"Now, you really don't think I'd let you mess up my hair with bits of grass and dirt. I took nearly two hours to curl my locks this way."

"Ah, a practical argument to thwart my ardent affections. Oh all right Scarlett, I shall be sensible." vowed Rhett, making his face into a smooth blank. "I shall restrain my passions until a better time."

"Good! Now you can-"

Rhett dropped to his knee at such a rapid pace that Scarlett took a step back startled. And that mysterious gleam was back in his eyes. He took the strings from her hands. "Now let's see here. I'm quite accomplished in lacing stays as you probably know. But these drawstrings are quite a mystery. Hold up your skirts, darling. I can hardly see what I'm doing."

Scarlett complied but she observed his efforts to "help" with wary skepticism. His fingers were already fumbling needlessly across her most intimate parts and sending the most pleasurable sensations across her body. Every "There! I've almost got it.." ended inevitably with an exaggerated oath at the knot slipping away. Scarlett squealed and tried to push him away but his sheer impudence was too amusing to be ignored. Her pulse was racing when he finally secured the knot and rose up lightly to his feet. "Rhett Butler, you are a rascal and a varmint!" she rebuked but with a provocative smile on her face. "And don't swear! It's an ugly habit and I've already told you not to do it!"

"Don't chastise me so often, Scarlett. It will take a while for me to get used to the new you-" Rhett held out his arms and she walked into them and rested her palms upon the frills of his shirt. "Scarlett, you aren't really going to rush off to your plantation and leave me in the lurch, are you?"

"Oh well, I suppose I could stay here." said Scarlett. She let her dimples creep slowly into her soft cheeks. Rhett's careless touches had caused the most agreeable stirrings to her senses that she felt alive and vibrant all of a sudden. "You did arrive just now and I could always go visiting in the evening-"

"That is very sweet of you, Mrs. Butler" grinned Rhett, enjoying the unmistakable softness in her glittering emerald eyes.

"And the prospect of eating crawfish is most tempting-" conceded Scarlett as an afterthought. He leaned his face closer and grazed his lips invitingly across her cheek. He kissed her again on her cheek yet so tantalizingly close to her lips that as he pulled back, she drew up and pressed her lips once more to his.