Your acceptance back into this team doesn't rely on my forgiveness. The words had been haunting Ward for nearly a week. His fist conversation with Skye since he escaped hadn't exactly gone as planned. Ever since he had infiltrated Hydra, he had been doing all he could to sabotage them. He had been so careful. But Whitehall… Whitehall was smart and he figured Ward out. He had no choice but to abandon his mission and try and return to Shield. Coulson believed he had been trying to help. May hadn't. Ward predicted that.

Skye's reaction, that was what threw him. For the millionth time, Ward replayed the scene in his head.

Flashback

He had just barely escaped from Hydra's base with his life. He was a little roughed up, to say the least. Blood was dripping from a bullet wound in his arm and most of the right side of his face was bruised.

Ward hadn't expected a "Welcome Back" party, but he had expected someone to greet him, for security reasons at least. But the new Shield base looked absolutely deserted.

Honestly, Ward was surprised Coulson had given him the location. His trust was hard to earn and even harder to earn back. But Shield was in a sorry state, and he need good agents out in the field. He had made it perfectly clear that the only reason he was being allowed back was because he was useful. No one trusted him and no one liked him, so the second he became more trouble than he was worth, he was gone. But still, it showed some faith on Coulson's part to give Ward a secret that could destroy him.

He'd been a fool to think everyone would be as forgiving as Coulson. He'd met May again as soon as he'd gotten back on the Bus. She probably hated him even more than Skye did, if that was possible. She was less subtle with her threats than Coulson had been.

"One foot out of line" she warned, "And there won't even be a body for Hydra to bury"

"You assume that I'm still aligned with Hydra"

"Better than assuming you're loyal to Shield"

She turned around and began to walk away. Just as she was about to round the corner and be out of Ward's sight, she turned back, "And don't talk to her, Ward. You'll only make it worse for her"

She didn't need to say who she was talking about. May turned back around without another word and vanished to wherever her new cave was here.

As much as Ward wanted to see her, May was right. Seeing Skye now would only cause more tension and hatred. No, he needed to prove himself to her first, trust would come later. Just as he decided this, the object of his thoughts came around the corner that May had vanished behind.

She stopped in her tracks when she saw him. She very subtly went into a combat stance, but Ward noticed it. He has been the one to teach her to always be ready for a fight.

"Skye" he said. He said it like she was something to be revered, which to him, she was. It was the first time he had said her name out loud since he had seen her. Skye had been someone to only exist in his memories for so long; he had almost forgotten that Hydra knew about her too.

"I… I didn't know you were here" she said simply.

"Coulson didn't tell you?" that surprised Ward. Coulson saw her as a daughter; there was no way he'd keep something this big from her.

"He didn't give me the specifics." Skye said, then added coldly, "And I definitely didn't think he'd let you in here"

"Skye just let me explain"

"What explanation can you possibly give that would make things okay?"

"I never said it was going to make things okay" Ward replied, "Just listen"

Skye crossed her arms but didn't turn away from him, that was at least a start.

"I know that I hurt you. And I'm sorry" he began, "But you need to understand why I did it. Garrett was my family at the time. I didn't love him, but he was all I had. Hydra for me was what Shield was for you. A new beginning. By the time I realized the Hydra Garett told me about wasn't the Hydra of reality… I was in too deep to get out. I didn't know how. It would be like you trying to leave Shield. Most of the things I did, I did for Garrett. And when he died…"

The words died on his lips. Skye knew what it was like to not have a family. She knew how he must have felt.

"It doesn't matter, Grant" she said quietly. Her use of his first name threw him off guard. She had never called him Grant under good circumstances.

"What?" he replied

"It doesn't matter that you did it for your family. Families don't blindly follow each other. I question Coulson and I question Shield. I never follow an order unless I know exactly what I'm doing and who I'm doing it for. That's why it took Shield this long to accept me. So don't try and tell me we're alike."

"Skye…"

"And you don't betray your family. You don't shoot your family. You don't throw your family into the ocean. You don't give your family nightmares so bad that they don't sleep more than an hour a night and have to be put under psychoanalysis. Families don't do that"

Ward took a hesitant step towards her, "you've been having nightmares?"

"You lost the right to ask me questions like that" she snapped

"You're right. I'm sorry" he sighed, then added, "About everything, Skye. I am so sorry. I know it doesn't help, but I'm trying to become a better man"

"I'll believe that when I see it" she scoffed

"You will, Skye" Ward insisted, "But until you do… you're going to accept that you have to see me. Everyday"

"I'm going to see what Bobby thinks of you"

"Bobby?"

"She's the best agent I know," Skye said. She said the name with great respect; almost with as much respect as she does with Coulson, "Better than May. Better than you. And she can spot a liar from a mile away. If she trusts you, then so can I"

Ward stared at her in silence for a moment. It was a terrifying feeling to realize that her trust in him depended on someone he'd never met.

"You know what's weird," she said, interrupting his train of thought "I don't really care about most of it. People make mistakes and they follow the wrong people. Shield has secrets that made me want to leave. I've forgiven you for everything that you've done to me"

"You have?"

"But what I can't forgive" she said, "I can't forgive what you did to Fitzsimmons. You and Coulson both seem to think that your betrayal hurt me the most, but no matter how much pain I'm in having you here, it's worse for them. Your acceptance into this team doesn't rely on my forgiveness, Grant. It relies on theirs"

"And if they don't?"

"Then back your bags," she said, "Because it'll be a hard life for you here with Coulson as your only ally"

End of Flashback

So that was Ward's first encounter with Skye since he'd left. He didn't know what he expected from her. He hadn't didn't let himself hope for complete forgiveness right off the bat. But for her entire opinion of him to rest on other people's shoulders… he didn't know how to deal with that.

He had never been good at making first impressions. It was a miracle Skye had even survived working under him at all. If he messed things up with this Bobby person, it was all over.

And Fitzsimmons. He put his head in his hands. How could he ever apologize to them? He had nearly killed them. He had thought about how to atone for that one since it had happened, but he had never thought he would be allowed back so he'd never actually made a decision.

He had sure royally fucked this one up. The only people who had ever seemed to care about him were on this team, and they all hated him. And then he had Skye's nightmares to think about.

He knew she was prone to them in times of stress. He'd woken up to her screaming enough to know how debilitating they could be. Who had comforted her in his absence? Coulson, probably. But he didn't know how to deal with emotional pain. He didn't know what it was like to feel completely alone. Ward did, and it killed him to realize that not only had be abandoned Skye when she needed him, but he was also the cause of so much pain for her.

He didn't know where to start, but tomorrow there would be a debriefing for all the current agents and he'd see them all again. He stared up at the ceiling on his new bunk and wondered just how he was going to earn this team's trust again.