Just One Day

WC: 1,042

Notes: Written for Meepyonnee – I don't know if it was what you were expecting or not, and if you want something more lighthearted, just PM me. xD

(Inspired by the song 'Just One Day' by BTS).

Thanks for reading!

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Sometimes on Saturdays, I lie in bed and daydream the early morning away.

The weekends were always difficult for me. I wasn't really allowed to come to the office since they were my days off, and Naru had told me that he wasn't paying me for doing extra weekend hours. Besides, Taka was the overall assistant anyway. I would not be answering phones or meeting with guests – I would just be the awkward 'investigator' with nothing to do on the weekend.

The sun always woke me up with its first light. The rays would directly hit me in the face until I opened my eyes. I would then remember it was Saturday and try to doze back off again.

It was a hard thing to do, though, since I was fine-tuned to jump up and get ready to work at this time every day. If only my mind knew that I wanted that every day but these days…

Normally before I daydreamed it would take a while for my rushed mind to calm down enough to do so. First, my work schedule would occupy my brain – paperwork that needed to be finished on Monday, a concept case that Naru may or may not take, and new parapsychology articles and books that I wanted to read.

Next would always be my second schedule: I need a new jacket or I need to sew the damaged sleeve on mine. I really need to pick up groceries today. I need to give the rent check to the apartment.

After that, more wispy things came into play… I think I liked that new song on the radio yesterday… Taka's birthday is coming up… I think these sheets need to be washed, they smell stale…

Then at some point, I stop thinking. Stop thinking and just let thoughts, dreams and memories flow in. It was kind of a drifting meditation, caught between sleep and consciousness. Or, in my short words… I called it daydreaming.

With my eyes closed, and my breath so deep and slow that it was almost like I was sleeping, a certain face drifted into my mind's eye. A boyishly handsome face with black hair and a teasing smile on his lips.

I slowly sunk into my dream until I was there. Holding his hand as we walked down the street in a winter scenario setting. I was pointing at things in the windows, and we were laughing and smiling like any couple should.

He would sometimes say my name as we made our way down the street – that short, hitched way he always said 'Mai' that left me a little breathless.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to get lost in someone's eyes?

And what about a smile, a smile so full of flickering laughter that it swayed you to smile as well?

The way they pull you close, their hand securely on your waist like you're their handbag. Afraid to be lost or stolen away –

I was jolted from my dream a little when some of the apartment neighbors were getting up. Slamming doors and talking. I pulled the covers up closer to my chin and drifted off again.

The scene was different already. I was sitting on the couch with him. His arm was around my shoulders and he was playing with my short hair. Ruffling it and letting it run through his fingers. His whole scent was sweet and intoxicating, sitting so close… I looked up at him, but he wasn't smiling. He was sternly paying attention to my hair, and the way it trickled through his fingertips.

"Please smile," I told him, "I like it when you smile."

He gave me a tight smile in return, but there was nothing to say. There were no dancing sparkles in his eyes. The mood had turned strained and morose.

I folded my hands in my lap.

The guy I was sitting next to was becoming the source of my delusions, I'm sure of it. I was excusing my very reality for a dream.

And since I knew it wasn't real, the very threads of my dreams became sad with the knowledge and started to slip away at the seams.

I wish I could have had just one day with you, even if it was only in my dreams.

Why was reality so unfair?

I got up off of the couch, but he wasn't there anymore.

Not that he had ever been.

Please, if only I could spend just one day to get to know you.

But it's no use thinking about such a thing, because it's a meaningless, impossible dream, anyway.

I wandered around the bare room, slowly sinking back into my own reality of my old, cold bed and bare room. The dream room shifted away until it completely disappeared. I was left in darkness, until I opened my eyes.

I made myself sit up and swing my legs over the bed onto the floor. I didn't want to lie back down and accidentally fall asleep again.

Even though it was still early, I got dressed and left the apartment. The fresh air and the bright sun were relaxing to my own mind attempting to smother me.

Except, I didn't feel any less alone walking on the streets. In the end it reminded me of my dream, which wasn't pleasant at the moment. After a few minutes of meaningless meandering, I stopped walking. So suddenly that someone almost ran into me.

It must be hard enough living without a love one that has passed on, but at the moment, living without someone you yearned to know was very painful, too.

How can I long so much for someone I never met in person, and whom I had known under a different name? At the moment, all I could wish was for one chance, just one day to learn about Gene. To feel and to learn and to know about him as he was.

But that day could never happen.

And that's why it wasn't fair.

I covered my face with my hands, shielding myself from the eyes of the cruel, laughing world.

Please tell me.

Why couldn't I stay with you?