Summertime Scatterbrains

Lavi buys a kiddie pool and fills it with ice to brave the onslaught of summer. Allen hates it, as it prompts his roommate to bask in the nude a lot.

The sun was a pest. That's what Allen Walker thought. It never left him alone, its heat sinking into his pores, making sweat trickle down his temple, down his neck and back. He unbuttoned the collar of his white button up shirt, rolling the sleeves further up his arms. His waistcoat had been discarded hours ago, and he was starting to think his usual proper attire was not his wisest decision of the day. He should opt for shorts and a t-shirt, perhaps.

A little ray of sunlight which had been following him around the house since morning had moved to shoot right between his eyes and he cursed under his breath, standing up from the couch he'd been lazily dozing on, forcing him to move on to bigger and better things.

The flat was empty except for himself, which wasn't unusual. Lavi Bookman, his roommate, was a social butterfly of sorts, and tended to not stay in the house too long on weekends. Allen was much of the opposite, enjoying the familiarity of four walls and a roof over his head. He missed winter. Back in England, it never grew this painfully hot. It just snowed a damn lot.

He searched the house for his keys, slipping on some flip-flops, ready to brave the heat in search of ice-cream or ice or a large frozen lake of sorts, when his front door slammed open, and a tall red-headed man slumped in and slammed the door behind him. He wore a baggy green tank, his shoulders tinted red from the sun's blaring gaze, and white shorts and flip-flops. He was holding a few plastic bags of something, and he looked through his red bangs at Allen, panting dramatically.

"Allen, it's soooooo hot." He moaned.

Allen stared at his roommate with a bewildered expression. "Oh my, is it really? I hadn't noticed."

Lavi frowned, and Allen noticed his usual headband was missing. The extra material probably wasn't good with the heat. "Don't be sarcastic with me, beansprout. It's way too hot for that crap." He slumped forwards, past Allen and into the kitchen, where he plonked the plastic bags of mysteries on the bench.

"The name is Allen," Allen responded mechanically, far too used to the lame pet name for his liking. He followed Lavi into the kitchen. "What have you got there?" He wondered.

"The best damn thing you've ever seen, that's what!" Lavi announced, spreading his arms in amazement as he looked at Allen.

"I haven't seen it yet," Allen pointed out, and Lavi shook a finger at him.

"Patience, kiddo. All will be revealed in mere moments. Also, what the hell are you wearing?"

"Clothes," Allen responded.

"Just brimming with sarcastic wit today, aren't we? This heat is souring your usual cheery, polite mood. We must rectify this."

"That worries me for some reason." Allen admitted.

Lavi ignored him, fiddling with the plastic bags. "Behold!" He began, pulling out a box with an inflatable kiddie pool depicted on the front, and a couple bags of ice. "The ice pool!"

"Really, that's the idea? Lavi, we don't even have a backyard to put it in."

"That's why we have a perfectly large enough living room to put it in." Lavi said, grinning from ear to ear, his red unkempt hair swaying in the hot blast of air pouring in through the open windows.

"No."

Lavi frowned, tilting his head to the side. "No?" He said the word like it was new to him; like no one had ever refused dear little Lavi before. Which wasn't the truth, of course. Anyone with any common sense would refuse Lavi of his crazy schemes. It didn't deter him from hatching them though, much to Allen's chagrin. As his roommate, he was dragged into most of them. If he wasn't, the scheme probably involved him as its victim.

"What if the pool leaks?" Allen argued. "We'll have ice everywhere. Which will melt into water. Our contract doesn't cover water damage."

"Pshh. Stop being such a negative nancy and help me set this shit up."

Lavi got to work, ignoring Allen's in vain attempts to stop him. Lavi was a lot bigger than Allen, and easily pushed his palm into Allen's forehead, holding him back as he tried to undo all Lavi's hard work. Eventually Allen caved, allowing Lavi to pump air into the child pool as long as he agreed to put a mat underneath.

Allen took over handling of the ice. Knowing Lavi, he would put the ice everywhere except for in the pool, and since their contract really, really did not cover water damage, he took charge.

He emptied the bags of ice in the pool, and noted that the pool didn't look nearly as satisfying as he thought it would. Lavi, however, was overjoyed.

"Hell yeah, finally! Time to cool off, baby." Before Allen could get a word in, Lavi had shucked off his tank, shorts and boxers and practically threw himself into the ice pool.

Allen gaped at the bare butt that he'd been exposed to, feeling his face burn, and not because of the heat.

Lavi screeched beside him, half tearing out of the pool. "Agh it's cold! It's so cold on my junk! Fuck! Ice is also really hard! Ow!"

Allen pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaling sharply and refusing to stare at the exposed groin of his dumbass roommate.

"This was a dumb idea," Allen deadpanned. "Let's add this to the list of your failed plans, shall we?"

"No way!" Lavi cried, standing proudly in the kiddie pool, hands on hips. "Maybe we should just wait a bit. You know, for it to not be so cold. For it to melt a little."

"Good lord, Lavi, cover yourself. Have you no decency?"

"Nope," Lavi laughed. "Come on, Allen. We're both a couple of dudes. We both got wieners. I know you do, I've walked in on you peeing enough times."

Allen's face turned scarlet. "Because you don't knock!"

"Haha, yeah, I don't."

Allen threw a flip-flop. "Stop laughing!"

The flip-flop hit Lavi in the face. Lavi fell back into the ice, starting to scream again about his junk turning into a frozen penis-popsicle.

Allen grimaced.

"Fine, get out. We'll wait."

Turns out, they didn't have to wait long. The smoldering heat had already started to melt the ice within ten minutes, and Lavi was yet again testing the icy waters of the kiddie pool, still starkers naked.

"Why haven't you put anything on yet?" Allen asked, exasperated. He'd been trying to look everywhere but his roommate's downstairs department for what felt like hours, an ever present blush coating his normally pale cheeks. Thankfully, he could blame it on heatstroke.

"Cause I'm getting back in the pool. Jeez, don't you know anything?"

"Why don't you just wear board shorts?" Allen pried for the umpteenth time.

"Cause it's too goddamn hot, Allen."

Allen could feel his eye starting to twitch in annoyance. "It won't matter when you're in the pool, Lavi-"

"Allen, sounds like you're just embarrassed to me. Is my amazingly hot bod turning you on or something?" Lavi smirked, his green eye gleaming like he knew something Allen didn't, as he eased himself low into the pool.

Allen narrowed his pale eyes. "Please don't flirt with me while you're naked. It's very disconcerting."

"In a sexual way?" Lavi purred, winking. Or blinking. Allen couldn't tell with the eye patch and all. He assumed the former one.

"I don't think you can be disconcerting in a sexual way, actually."

Sometimes Lavi flirted with anything and everything that moved. It was just a thing that he did. Part of his wacko personality, Allen assumed. Though Allen knew better than that. Lavi's personality was a facade, the majority of it. A security measure of some sort to help keep people out, to keep himself from attaching to people too much. Allen had learned this early on in his friendship with Lavi as he was a natural at perceiving others true intentions. It helped that he was Lavi's roommate. It enabled him to see Lavi at his best and worst times. He knew that Lavi, above all else, was an intellect. He just chose to act the furthest from.

Lavi could act and dramatise every action he did, but Allen would always know the truth.

Lavi shrugged. "Anyway, my dick hasn't frozen off and floated away but I'm also not dying of heatstroke, so I deem the ice pool to be a huge success," Lavi gestured Allen over. "Come join, beansprout. There's still room."

"I'm not getting in that pool with nothing covering your nether regions." Allen said curtly.

"Aw c'mon, Allen. Don't be like that." Lavi whined, relaxing further into icy bliss. "Aren't you hot in that formal getup?"

Allen was actually nearly dying from dehydration. But he wasn't going to let Lavi know that.

"No," he lied.

"You have pit stains the size of Antarctica, Allen. Get your ass in here."

Allen blushed in embarrassment, keeping his arms down to hide the sweat stains under his armpits. "That's rude, you don't point out sweat marks."

"Well I just did. Do I have to drag you in here?" Lavi raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eye.

There was a sinking feeling in the pit of Allen's stomach, but he refused to go down without a fight.

"I'm not getting in there," he repeated sternly. "It's unsanitary. Put some board shorts on."

Lavi rose from the pool again, stepping out onto the mat. "You know, you asked for this Allen."

Allen gulped.

Thankfully, Lavi grabbed a towel he had prepared earlier, wrapping it around his waist. Relief coursed through Allen briefly, but it didn't stop Lavi's advance. He stepped off the mat, walking towards Allen, grinning.

The white-haired adult didn't know exactly what was in store for him if he was caught by his worrisome roommate. He didn't intend to find out. So, like any proper human being would do, he panicked and bolted into their bathroom.

Lavi, unfortunately for Allen, was faster. As the bathroom door swung back to being closed, Lavi slammed into it with his shoulder, knocking it back against the wall. Allen winced at the loud slam, stumbling back into the tiled wall, his mouth agape.

He went to move when two hands slammed into the wall beside his head. Allen gulped, looking up at the towering figure of Lavi, who smiled impishly down at him.

"And where do you think you're going, Allen?"

"Um," he began intelligently. "The bathroom?"

Lavi pouted. "Man, I just wanted you to come hang out with me in the ice pool. Why'd you have to run away?"

Allen glared at him, his long dangling earring brushing his own cheek. He jerked a finger into Lavi's chest. "Because you chased me! Any sane person would run away from some overly tall red-head advancing in nothing but a towel!"

Lavi grinned again, his fake pout completely disintegrating. His eyes lowered, looking down at the finger on his chest. "Would they now?"

Allen was suddenly aware of the proximity. It wouldn't have normally bothered Allen, as Lavi generally was not one for personal space and proximity boundaries, and so he was used to Lavi being close to him. But Lavi was naked, save for the thin white cotton covering him now. It hardly mattered, as Lavi's junk was burned into his brain for all eternity.

Allen went to remove his finger, but thought better of it. He was not going to show weakness to Lavi. He thrust his finger higher up his chest, poking rather forcefully at his flesh.

"Yes. You are insane, Lavi. You don't chase someone just to force them into an ice pool with you. Go bother Kanda or Lenalee for heaven's sake, because I'm not going to entertain you-"

Lavi had grabbed his wrist, a sly smile on his face. Allen stopped speaking immediately.

Something about the look had his face burning more than it had all day. He couldn't hold eye contact; the piercing, single green eye was staring into his soul, like it could hear every thought dancing in his mind, like it could sense every loud heartbeat hammering against his chest.

"Aren't you hot in these clothes, Allen?" Lavi asked the question again, but his tone was different.

It was thick with something. Allen recognised it as lust.

Lavi was closer to him, pressing him harder against the wall, his fingers still locked around his wrist, now pressing his arm into the tiles beside his head. Allen's other, free hand was limp by his side, unsure of how to react.

Allen was staring up into Lavi's face, his lips parted, ready to speak unspoken words. But they couldn't pass through his lips; they died meekly in his throat. Lavi was so close to him. When did he get that close?

He could feel Lavi's breath on his neck, exposed from him unbuttoning his collar earlier in the day. Then lips attached themselves to his neck, kissing gently, softly, at tender, untouched skin.

A small sound bubbled from Allen's lips. Lavi's chest was to his now, his mouth hot on his neck, teeth nipping and grazing flesh, pressing him against the tiles. Allen's head was spinning, trying to connect the dots of how helping Lavi with an ice pool had lead to... this. But all the thoughts died at Lavi's kisses, his love bites coating his neck, his collar bone.

Lavi's mouth detached itself from the younger man's neck, Lavi's forehead bumping softly against Allen's, white hair tangling with red. He stared into Allen's grey eyes, his usually jovial expression oddly serious; passionate, even.

Allen's heart was about to burst through his chest and create a bloody mess everywhere. He licked his lips, the redheads name on the tip of his tongue, when Lavi dipped down, closing the distance-

- and their front door swung open, easily viewed from the bathroom, Lenalee and Kanda strolling in like they owned the place.

Allen punched Lavi in the face, who ended up romantically kissing the corner of the basin with a loud crack. He collapsed on the ground, twitching, and Allen went to greet his friends in the living room, trying to pretend Lavi's mouth hadn't just ravaged his poor, innocent neck.

"Hey, Lenalee, how are you?" He smiled as wide as he possibly could. He ignored Kanda on purpose, who grunted.

"Oh, I'm good, thanks for asking!" She gave him a hug, as they hadn't seen each other in a little while. When she pulled back, she tucked some hair behind her ear. "Lavi invited us over to witness his great new invention."

Allen sighed. "Ah, well, he's a bit preoccupied at the moment," Allen swore he heard a pained gurgle come from the bathroom. "But his fantastic new invention is just over there." He jerked his thumb in the direction of the ice pool. "A real academy-award winner, it is." Allen snorted.

Lenalee glided over, Kanda instead choosing to lean against the wall like an arrogant prick. He shot daggers at Allen, who in return pulled a very attractive face.

"Hey, Allen?" Lenalee spoke up from where the pool was.

"Hm?" He replied in polite, albeit distracted interest, preoccupied with sending Kanda the middle finger.

"Is the water meant to be leaking out of the pool and onto the carpet?"

Allen knew he really should have fought for covered water-damage.

The sad thing is, I can't tell if this is meant to be a sort of smutty fanfiction or a crackfic. Probably a bit of both. Take it as you will. I had a lot of fun with this retarded little brain fart. It was meant to be a one shot, but I'm sure I'll continue it somewhere down the road.