I had thought the morning after all my farewells would have been a big affair with many more hugs and well wishes. However, nothing could have been further from the truth. I stood off to the side of the gate to Haven and watched as my friends, the only people I knew in this world, got ready to march off to battle and towards the unknown. I didn't let myself think about all the things that could, and likely would, go wrong. Instead I tried to memorize everything about this group of misfits that I had come to love.

I had focused on the way Sera's cheeky grin flashed at me at a distance when our eyes met. She looked a lot happier than the occasion called for but then again that's Sera. Her bright blond hair flashed as she turned away to speak to Jade.

I focused on Jade as he listened attentively to Sera. I couldn't tell what they were saying at this distance but a deep frown pulled at the edge of his mouth. At least I could count on Jade to take this seriously. I tried to memorize the way he held his massive hand-and-a-half sword. I remembered the day I asked him if I could try holding it and promptly fell on my hind quarters. That was one of the few times that I heard Jade laugh with vigor and unburdened by thoughts of war. I smiled as I recalled the memory and turned my gaze elsewhere to search for the others in the large assembly of soldiers lining up for departure.

I spotted Varric and Bull towards the far end of the congregation. Leliana and Jose were speaking to Cullen near the front of the aligned soldiers. Even at the eve of battle Cullen looked calm and collected, his head held high and proud as he assessed his troops. A military man through and through. Everywhere I looked in the crowd I saw someone I cared about. I knew that there would be casualties in the upcoming events but I tried not to think about that either. I just kept memorizing the little things because I knew deep down that I would regret it forever if I missed this opportunity.

A hawk flew overhead and let out a screech as it stretched it's winds in the beautiful rays of morning light. I crossed my arms over my chest and I followed it's path over the mass of people. I felt super calm given the circumstances. I closed my eyes against the morning rays and breathed in deeply, smelling the horses and mist and dirt and everything that just made Haven what it is. I hadn't spoken to anyone this morning. All the things that I had to say were said last night, along with my apologies for avoiding everyone and being a turd. With my eyes still closed I heard the rumbling of the crowd quiet until all you could hear was the gentle blowing of the wind through the trees. A bird off in the distance gave a caw to defy the gravity of the silence. Of course that's the way it seemed at the time. After all it was only a bird.

I opened my eyes and scanned the crowd. They had all finally got into formation and uniformly faced the front where Jade stood in his polished armor facing the crowd right back. Jose leaned over and said something in Jade's ear. He gave the smallest of nods and then began to speak to the soldiers.

"Today is a day for reflection." Jade's strong voice carried through the silent crowd easily, every soul listening for some kind of hope. "When a soldier goes of to battle they never want to hear all the things that could go wrong. Well, I'm not going to feed your imaginations. You know as well as I do what is going to happen. No, I'm going to remind you what you're fighting for. You're fighting for your freedom. For your family and loved ones that love you. You are fighting for your brothers and sisters that will be standing beside you in the midst of battle. They will in turn be fighting for you. So come brothers, sisters. Let us show this world that we are a force to be reckoned with."

A single large cheer came from the mouth of a soldier in the back.

"Let us show them that we are not weak. That we don't lack the power to enforce the right that every man, woman, and child has in the world. To be free."

A much larger cheer went up at this. Jade's loud, booming voice continued to rally his troops. His brothers and sisters in arms.

"I will fight with you. Together we can drive back the forces that threaten our world. That threatens our way of life. For the Inquisition!"

At this he raised his fist in the air and an earth shattering cheer broke from the crowd as every soldier put their fist up in solidarity. I felt tears prickle my eyes seeing first hand the kind of loyalty Jade commanded. Almost without my knowledge, I felt my fist lift in the air as my cry followed that of every other person outside the gates.

I kept my fist up even as the soldiers started marching. The combined footfalls made the earth tremble. I was suddenly very, very happy that Jade didn't let me follow them into battle. These were professionals. I wouldn't last a chance.

"Alice."

I turned my head away from the marching army to see Cole standing off to the side of me. His face was so serene and beautiful in the glow of the morning light. He said nothing else so we just stood still and stared at each other for a long moment. I tried to memorize every small detail about this boy that I grew to care about. Cared too much about if I'm being honest. The way his blue eyes glowed with otherworldly magic. The way his lips are slightly parted. How the corners of his eyes crinkled against the sun even with his hat shielding them. I lifted my hand and placed it against his impossibly smooth and pale cheek also memorizing how warm he was. His blue gaze hypnotized me like it always did. Holding his eyes with mine I whispered fiercely, "You had better come back to me. Do you understand?"

Cole held my gaze for a long moment, searching for what I don't know. I still wish that I would have asked him. But whatever he found in my green orbs made one corner of his lips pull up slightly. He nodded very slowly and I let go a breath I didn't realize I was holding. I let my hand drop heavy from his face and he turned away from me to follow the crowd in the distance without a word. I watched as his floppy hat, that hid his pale hair from my view, fluttered gently in the breeze as he moved farther and farther out of view. Before I knew it he caught up with the army and I watched them until they disappeared from view over the horizon. I watched even when there was nothing left to watch. The grounds of Haven were ghostly quiet in the wake of their departure. I felt a single tear slide down my cheek. I memorized the way I felt my heart crushing under the knowledge that I might never see any of them again. I was finally well and truly alone.