Disclaimer: I do not own the manga or anime for Gakuen Alice. All credits go to Tachibai Higuchi

Author's note:

Just for some background knowledge, this story takes place after the manga finishes. Somehow after a miraculous adventure (which I am not going to write or attempt to think of a proper storyline), the Imai siblings have returned to the academy (again, with probably some major plot flaws they are both 6 years older i.e. Mikan, Hotaru, Natsume and Ruka are all 17 now (as one year has passed since their return). Ok, on with the story…

A year had passed since the Imai siblings had returned from their time warp. It seemed like everything but nothing had changed since the academy was infiltrated 7 years ago. Despite the fact that Natsume and himself had already skipped a couple of years in order to leave the academy to search for Hotaru and her brother, the two were currently attending class with their original homeroom. Connections with the High school president were quite useful and Mikan can be quite persuasive.

The winter frost was beginning to thaw, giving the academy a glistening sparkle brought about by the rare glimpses of sunlight peeking through the clouds. Ruka made his way towards the barn, deciding to make a detour through the woods. Tori, the overly sized yellow chick, may have already awoken from hibernation as the snow had begun to melt (birds in general do not hibernate but Tori was a special case). Ruka strolled down the path, previously this journey would have been much more arduous as this path lead straight past Mr Bear's house. Now that Mikan was finally friends with the agro plushy, and more importantly Bear was far away keeping her grandfather company, Ruka could walk the path without the fear of being pulverised.

A sweet voice echoed through the empty forest, complementing the morning calls of birds chirping throughout the tree tops. Ruka did not need to see the singer in order know the voice's owner. Sakura Mikan. He could identify her warm laughter and clear voice anywhere. He unconsciously took a step towards the direction of her melody, stopping as a dark thought crossed his mind. By the sounds of it, Mikan was alone. Ever since the day Natsume returned, Ruka knew his chances with the girl he loved were crushed. It made him sick, the jealousy which seemed to hang over like a dark cloud refusing to budge. He told himself over and over again that he didn't have the right to feel envious. He should feel proud that his best friend had finally opened up to another person, that Natsume actually smiled and valued his life because of Mikan. He should also be glad and content with Mikan's happiness. If he truly loved her, surely her genuine smile should be enough… But it wasn't… Ruka didn't trust himself alone with her. He was worried that his feelings would come gushing out and confuse her. The last thing he wanted was for their friendship to be hindered…and confessing his love to her would only result in distancing them from each other.

The feelings he felt for Mikan were cruel… but inflicting his own pain upon her would be unforgiveable. A high pitched scream wrenched Ruka back to reality, a cold sweat ran down his back as he ran towards the noise's source.

"NATSUME, don't scare me like that! I thought I was going to have a heart attack! I swear the next time you creep up on me I'll file a restraining order!" cried Mikan, however anyone could hear the edge of humour in her voice.

"Sure Polka, I think we both know you're in denial though." Laughed Nastume, only tightening his grip on her.

Ruka felt his heart sink in relief and to his horror disappointment, what kind of person was he? He should be feeling glad, heck he should be smiling at the perfect couple! Not brooding over a romance which wasn't even plausible.

"What're you doing here anyway? Mr Bear is with your Grandfather isn't he?" asked Natsume still hugging his girlfriend tightly.

"Yeah… I promised that I'd keep his cabin clean, I mean he's helping Jii-chan out so it's only fair that I take responsibility for his share of housework." A hint of longing tarnished Mikan's smile. Natsume frowned, unable to bear seeing the slightest trace of despair on her face. Anger, yes he was fine with seeing her spirited pout (usually pointed at him for his perverted comments), but any misery was enough to make his heart wrench.

"Mikan… I'm sorry I can't make your home sickness go away. I'm sorry that I'm not really the kind of person who can com-" Natsume was cut off as Mikan claimed his mouth as her own, kissing his words away.

"Don't apologise Natsume, I couldn't possibly feel lonely with you by my side." Whispered Mikan, resting her head on his chest sighing contentedly.

"Mikan…" said Natsume suddenly serious. She gasped in response, recognising this captivating tone of voice. The voice which had caused her to be in a fluster so many years ago, just before the last dance of the Academy's celebration night. "I- I don't want you to feel lonely, or lost ever again… I know we exchanged stones long ago, but I want to do this properly" murmured Natsume. He wordlessly knelt down on one knee, looking up at the shocked expression of the woman he loved. He smiled, an action which used to be impossible. She changed that, she had changed everything. Natsume took out a small velvet case and opened the lid.

"Sakura Mikan, would you do the honour of being my wife?" he asked, never breaking the intense gaze he gave her. Mikan was rendered speechless, her eyes flicking between Natsume and the ring her held in his hand, a perfectly shaped red stone decorated the golden band.

Ruka couldn't bear to listen or view this any longer, silently reprimanding himself for listening in on the couple's private conversation. The bird chirping in his ear flew off in a fright as he strode away from Mr Bear's clearing. Not paying much attention to where his feet took him, he just needed to get away, as far as possible. Ruka's stalk slowly came to a stop, his throat and lungs hurt from the cold air and his legs were freezing, dripping in the dirty sludge of mud and melting snow. He felt like laughing at himself. What a mess, confronting something in the woods he simply ran away like a frightened child. Shaking his head he decided to look up and try to navigate where he had ended up after his immature, spineless escape.

The barn… oh, yeah remembered Ruka, looking down at the packet of treats he had bought for the animals last week in town. Suddenly aware of the pains in his hand, cramped from gripping the packaging for so long. Sighing once more, he slowly turn open the barn door to be greeted by the animals he loved. It calmed him, the hushed sounds of feet, small and large against the soft mud floor, caked with hay. Ruka slipped off his snow jacket, suddenly sweltering from the warmth produced by so many bodies. He dropped to his knees welcoming their friendly nuzzles and kisses. The sound of rustling plastic, caused by an enthusiastic rodent, reminded him to open the treats setting aside a bowl so that they could snack.

Ruka sat with his back to a stall, glumly watching the animals eat. He didn't deserve their love… He was cheap, and weak, the only way he felt accepted was by using his pheromone alice. It was disgusting, he disgusted himself. The rabbit playfully nibbling at his finger, stopped fearfully thumping its foot before bounding away. A small flash caught in the corner of Ruka's eye, noticing another of Hotaru's inventions. What was it called again? The Ultimately disguised speedy tortoise-cam? Something ridiculous like that anyway. Of course its mission was to capture embarrassing photographs of Ruka so that Imai could sell them at a ridiculous profit to fan girls throughout the school.

He made a grab for the device, quickly snatching a limb before it tucked into its shell making it near impossible to destroy. The tortoise squirmed helplessly as he let it hang mercilessly in the air. Fuck it, there's no point in destroying this bugger, Imai would simply find another way of taking embarrassing photos probably even worse as pay back for destroying one of her devices. He let the toy drop, covering his eyes with a hand suddenly developing a headache.

"You need to smile more, that was a pathetic photo shoot." Stated a monotone voice from beside him. Ruka didn't bother to look up, no longer surprised by Hotaru, such as how she managed to appear without opening the door… or perhaps she was simply hiding here the whole time. It was probably above his head and he really didn't need to think about her crazy stalking skills at this moment.

"Well, I do apologised for not always complying with your needs Imai" replied Ruka sarcastically. Hotaru felt troubled, it was unusual for Ruka not to be surrounded by the barn animals… it seemed like they were actively avoiding the teen, huddled in a corner furthest away from the animal pheromone bearer. Of course none of this crossed her irrefutable polka face. Hotaru sat beside the gloomy teen uninvited, desperately thinking of what she could do. The means of this situation was not cryptic. Hotaru had already seen the ring Natsume had made up for Mikan, he'd had it since before Christmas but was too shy to present it… Of course it hurt, she too loved Mikan but she knew her best friend viewed her as simply that, a friend. Hotaru had learnt to be content, her relationship with her brother had improved immensely and Mikan still treasured her as the first person to run to if she had a problem.

Ruka on the other hand had lived with hope… There was a time even Hotaru thought Mikan would end up with Ruka. After watching the sleeping beauty play and seeing Natsume's expression, she knew Ruka wouldn't have the heart to break his best friend's.

Various inventions ran through her head as Hotaru tried to think of remedies to the situation. Ironically the machine she had created to cheer people up was in fact a copy of Mikan herself… the cause of the situation. Hotaru decided to steal another glance at her friend and immediately regretted it. Ruka had moved his hand so it no longer shielded his eyes which were presently cast downwards. Hotaru had been prepared for seeing grief, hopelessness or even tears but… not… disgust.

It scared her, as much as she didn't want to admit it… Ruka really had grown old. No longer was he the lost slightly cowardly child, he had the face of a person who had already given up, who loathed life, who had lost their meaning. Shit, he really had fooled her… Hotaru would never have guessed how low he had slumped, he had acted so… normal so 'Ruka-pyon' like. Blushing, chasing after her merchandise. He was still prince charming of the school… but this wasn't the face of someone going through a low patch… This was the face of long term damage.

"Well, Imai finally got you to break that poker face huh." Ruka laughed humourlessly an empty smile decorated his face not reaching the hard cold eyes which now bore into her. Hotaru said nothing, honing her facial expressions once more. She felt slightly guilty, this past year Natsume and Mikan were practically in their own universe, it was only to be expected the star crossed lovers had their head in the clouds after being reunited. She didn't really have an excuse though, becoming accustomed to missing 6 years didn't actually take too much effort as she had already accomplished the academic requirements. Ruka laughed again, it was a sound she was really beginning to hate.

"Don't think badly of yourself, really I'm just too weak to be salvaged. Even now, haha I've kind of failed again. Can't even protect the happiness of three people. It's pathetic really, I could smile and put on a fake act now but… what's the point you probably wouldn't believe me now if I tried." He continued apathetically. Hotaru steeled herself and returned his gaze, trying to ignore the uneasiness she felt from his empty eyes.

"You have been protecting us… All that time Nastume was searching of Mikan you never gave in and convinced him he was worthy of her. I gave those mushroom ear buds to you, because I knew you'd keep a steady head and find me… You were even compatible with the alice used to protect others." Said Hotaru quietly, desperate to show Ruka how important he was to them all.

Ruka sighed tiredly, Hotaru was glad he had stopped his hollow laughter, it sent chills down her back. She continued to watch him worriedly as he closed his eyes once more. He really was handsome… there was something prince-like in his manner and appearance even in his tired state like this… Hotaru mentally slapped herself. Stupid hormones… jumping into post puberty was a massive shock on her after 6 years stuck in the time warp.

His sudden jump to stand up startled her as he reach down and offered her a hand. "Come on, we should congratulate the happy couple!" smiled Ruka back to his stereotypical polite and genial manner. Hotaru took his hand, allowing herself to be pulled up an action which she would usually never allow.

"Ruka, you don't have to pretend around me. I understand you not wanting Natsume or Mikan to know how you actually feel but… there's no reason to act around me, you know I'm not the sort of person to shatter." Said Hotaru quietly, finding it easier to talk to him now that he'd stopped laughing cruelly. She had never really reflected on how things had turned out. Mikan had Natsume, she had her brother… and Ruka, he was simply left with smiling for the happiness bestowed on others. There was a time Hotaru herself nearly slipped into depression, Mikan was there for her though she also had her brother, near death experiences really makes bonds with people. Ruka seemed to play the same role for Natsume keeping his friend's head above the water. Now Mikan had Natsume to support her and vice versa. They'd all neglected him, forgetting the supporters needed support. Ruka let go of Hotaru's hand walking over to where he had left his jacket.

"I wish I had your strength, Imai" he murmured quietly, quietly making his way to the door and stepping into the blinding white scenery created by snow and sunlight.

Hotaru shivered, convincing herself it was due to the cold draft from the open door and not the empty eyes of the person who stood there.

Thankyou for actually reading this far :D this is my first Gakuen Alice fan fiction (I'm quite new to writing fan fics in general so any comments would be greatly appreciated). THANKYOU again.