"I grieve with thee," she uttered the phrase in Vulcan. Jim wished she didn't have cause to use it but she knew better than most that wishful thinking doesn't get you anywhere. When she received no response, Jim continued, "I'm sorry… for what I said on the bridge about you not loving your mom. I know you do. Anyone with eyes knows it. I needed to get you listen to me and the only way through was… to be mean. I'm sorry, Spock."

"There is no need to apologize. You did what was necessary to save Earth. My… feelings were irrelevant in the matter."

Jim chuckled, "You know, you're only half Vulcan… you're allowed to feel for her. I never met my dad but that doesn't stop me from crying over his death every once in a while. Some days, it just hits me that everything would be different if I knew him. My mother wouldn't hate me and my brother would still be alive."

Jim rarely talks about any of this stuff with anyone, even Pike and Bones. It's hard being a dead man's daughter, people are under this crazy delusion that her life was easy but it's been anything but. Her mother blames her for her father's death and her brother ran away when she was eleven after one too many beatings from their step-dad. James Kirk has basically been alone her whole life. At least, that was the case until three years ago when she flirted with a pretty girl, got into a bar fight, was recruited by a friend of her father's and met her best friend, all within eight hours.

"It is illogical for your mother to have such feelings towards you as your father was killed due to his own actions ninety-six seconds after your birth," Spock said as he gave her a look.

"You're preaching to the choir."

"An idiom to indicate that you have the same feelings on the matter," he said.

"Yea," she nodded. "I've been saying the same thing for years but no one ever hears me. Too busy comparing me to George."

"A mistake I have also made," Spock admitted. "I now understand what you were attempting to accomplish with your Kobayashi Maru. I have already submitted a withdraw of the charges I filed against you."

She smirked, "All it took was me saving the world, huh?" Jim knew he would answer that, so she put her hand up before he could speak, "Rhetorical question, Spock." He nodded and the pair continued to stare at each other. Jim broke the silence with a chuckle, "Well, I should go find a place to sleep before Bones hypos me half to death."

"You can share my quarters."

"And give your girlfriend another reason to hate me?" she asked with a chuckle. "Thanks but…"

"I will speak with the Lieutenant. You need to rest, Captain," he said. When Jim opened her mouth to argue, he continued. "As Vulcans do not require as much sleep as humans, it would be illogical not to utilize my quarters."

"Okay. Thank you," Jim said after taking a breath. He nodded and told her the code to his room before instructing her to get some rest. Jim left the observation room and made her way through the banged up ship to get some sleep.

Well, Pike's not dead and Earth is safe. Leonard was calling that a win on so many levels. He couldn't wait until he got a chance to talk to his little girl. He'd bet anything that his family was freaking out over him… and Jim. That woman rolled into his world like nothing he's ever seen before. Brilliant, brash and breathtakingly beautiful, he wonders all the time about why she's friends with him. He's not a people person, neither is Jim, but she could have you eating out of the palm of her hand without you realizing it until it was too late.

Maybe that's why they're friends… or maybe she means it when she says that she loves him to death. He still doesn't know why but he loves her back. Leonard can admit that he wasn't sure about her being the acting captain but he knew that Jim wasn't the kind of person to give up without a fight, even when it looks hopeless, she fights. He's always known that she didn't tell him everything but he could see behind those otherworldly cerulean blue eyes of hers that she's seen some things that no twenty-five year old should ever see. He knows he owes her an apology for not backing her up on the bridge. Part of him doesn't want to admit it but that's kinda how he ended up divorced, not acknowledging when something needed to be said. Leonard refuses to let Jim think he doesn't believe in her, he's one of the only people who does.

When Leonard joined Starfleet, he was pissed at the universe and Pike talked him into doing something good to prove to his daughter that he wasn't the man her mother tried to convince the world he was. Sitting next to Jim on that shuttle probably saved his life. If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't have made it through the academy. It wasn't even the work that got to him, it was the space, flying, fighting stuff; stuff that Jim excelled at. She made a deal with him that first day, she'd get him through the stuff that scared him and he'd help her through basic medical. Of course, he figured out that she didn't really need his help but she still kept her end of the bargain.

Then, slowly, she dragged him out of his self-imposed isolation. She always said it was for his own good but he figured out that she needed it too. She needed someone who didn't want anything from her and he was happy to be that someone. So he went with her and somewhere along the way, it became less about needed to be among the living and more about hanging out with his friend. The same friend he can't find at the moment.

"You should ask Lieutenant Commander Spock."

He glanced at Nurse Chapel, "Why would he know? They hate each other."

"I don't think they actually hate each other," the nurse smiled. "Besides, he's her first officer, he'll know."

"It was logical, Nyota." She let out a huff but did not reply for a moment. Spock does not understand why Nyota has such an issue with Kirk.

"Logical. She insulted you on the bridge and started a fight."

"I initiated the altercation on the bridge," Spock reminded his girlfriend. "Kirk attempted, on multiple occasions, to appeal to my sense of logic and I ignored her. She did what was necessary to receive a response from me. If I had only listened to her, she would not have taken the actions she did. I am aware that you do not like her, however, she is the Acting Captain of this vessel and she gave the captain and chief medical officer's quarters to my father and the other Elders. She has to sleep somewhere."

"She gave up Pike and Puri's quarters?" Nyota asked.

Spock nodded, "She did."

"I still don't like it but it's already done. And I bet you'll end up with McCoy in your room too," she sighed. Spock was aware of that possibility as McCoy and Kirk were roommates at the academy and, like Kirk, McCoy didn't have quarters either.

"She is not all she seems, Nyota," he said quietly. She looked at him.

Spock had a glimpse of the real James on the bridge. His fingers on her skin and his lack of control gave him a quick look into her mind. Pain, not physical but the emotions of someone who has lost everything and still fights so that others don't have to. The emotions of an orphan who was never allotted time or space to grieve the father she never had the chance to know. And brilliance that rivaled his own, covered by a carefree attitude.

"What does that mean?" Nyota finally asked.

Spock took an unnecessary breath, "Her life is not as easy as you seem to believe it was."

"She told you that?"

"No… she did not," he told her. Nyota is a brilliant woman and it only took a moment for her to realize what he meant.

"Was it…? What are we talking about here?" she asked. He gave her a look. She was well aware that he wouldn't tell her. Spock doesn't speak of his mind melds with anyone and he was not going to discuss this one either.

"We are not talking about it. What I saw in Kirk's mind is just a sacred as what I saw in your mind and I will not share it. Just know that you may need to reexamine your attitude towards her."

"Okay," she said with a nod before giving him a kiss on the cheek and leaving the room.

Spock could admit that he was more human than he realized. His reaction to Kirk's Kobayashi Maru and his refusal to listen to her arguments against going to the Laurentian System were not logical. Both actions amounted to being a temper tantrum, as his mother would phrase it. Even after his actions almost led to Kirk being kicked out of Starfleet and marooning her on an ice planet, she still apologized to him for her behavior. She was doing the right thing, the logical thing and she still sought him out. The human he would've called emotional and illogical only a day ago confounded him. He was not sure what to expect from her.

Outside of attending the academy, he has rarely shared his living space with another. When he entered his quarters, he noticed that Kirk was asleep on his bed. Her boots were neatly placed at the foot of the bed and a fresh uniform was folded and sitting on the chair near the bed. She had showered, the only indication of which was the moisture that was still in the air. Spock did a quick assessment of her person, having heard Doctor McCoy express concern for her lack of seeking out medical attention. Her breathing was strong and unhindered, there was discoloration on her neck from multiple attempts to strangle her and there were lacerations on her face. He would have to insure that she ate something in the coming hours but she was otherwise in good physical health.

Spock knew he should meditate but a notification on his PADD stopped him, it was a message from Doctor McCoy seeking the location of their young Acting Captain. He replied to the message and requested that the doctor allow her a few hours of sleep, barring an emergency. The doctor agreed and promised to 'stop by' later. Spock sat the PADD on his deck and took a meditative position.

"Jim… Jim, wake up." She glared at the owner of the voice that just pulled her out of her sleep. As much as she loves Bones, he was a pain in her ass. Of course, he says the same thing about her all the time.

"Better be good, Bones. How'd you get in here anyway?"

He chuckled, "Spock let me in. And it is good, Pike's awake."

"He's awake?" she smiled. Bones nodded and Jim could see the relief in his eyes. Her friend was king of the grumps to everyone else but Jim, his mama and his daughter, Joanna, could see right through him.

"He's even asking to speak with Acting Captain Spock. I didn't think it was my place to drop that bomb on him," Bones told her. Jim didn't even realize that Spock was in the room until he spoke.

"That was wise, doctor," her first officer said. "It would be best if Captain Kirk and I informed Captain Pike ourselves."

"Yea… I guess I should get up and get dressed," Jim said with a shrug. Spock, being the logically awesome creature he was, handed her the uniform she stopped by the quartermaster's to get before she went to bed. Jim was eternally grateful that she showered before she went to sleep and she was wearing standard undergarments.

"What the hell happened to you?" Bones grumbled. She looked at her friend as she stepped into her pants. Her bumps and bruises weren't even that bad but Bones was a worrier.

"Which time? In the last day I jumped on a drill and fought a bunch of Romulans, then something on Delta Vega tried to eat me, then a fight with Spock, than Nero and some more Romulans. I'm…" She stopped when she realized that Spock was staring at her back. "Those scars are part of a very long story that I'm too sober to tell." His eyes flicked up to meet hers and she smiled, "I might get around to telling you one day but we've got work to do."

She pulled the shirts over her head, glad that she thought enough to get the unisex uniform just in case she ended up climbing around Engineering, and pulled on her boots. She quickly made the bed before they made their way to medical. Jim pulled her hair into a messy bun as Spock to filled her in on the repairs that still needed to be done and if they had the power to do them without the core. Jim would be the first to tell people that she wanted her own command but not like this, especially, with Pike unable to walk on his own power. That man was family, despite the dumb rumors that she was sleeping with him. Never happen… not in a million years.

Sickbay wasn't nearly as bad as she thought it would be but that's because Bones is awesome. He rolled his eyes when she said as much but she caught the hint of a smile that crossed his features. "Lieutenant Commanders, how's my ship?"

The trio looked at each other and Bones slapped Jim and Spock on the back, "I'll leave ya'll to it."

"Wimp," she whispered. Bones just laughed as he walked out of the room muttering about being an alive wimp.

"Acting Captain Spock. Report," Pike ordered.

"I am not the Acting Captain, sir," Spock told their CO.

Pike looked at Jim, "I'm assuming there is a good reason for that, Acting Captain Kirk."

"Yes, sir," Jim said. She took a deep breath, "Vulcan was destroyed and Spock's mother was one of the billions of casualties." She had never seen the look that Pike had on his face before. He looked at Spock and uttered the same phrase she had the night before. His Vulcan not nearly as good as hers but Spock didn't seem to mind. He thanked the older officer and the pair of them filled Pike in on the condition of the ship.

"Jim," Chris said as she was about to leave the room, stopping her.

"I will speak to Doctor McCoy," Spock told her before leaving her with her mentor. She looked at Pike and waited for whatever he was about to say.

"You did good, kid."

She smiled, "I had a good teacher."

"Oh please, you barely listen to me."

"I always listen," Jim chuckled. "I might not always do something but I always listen to what you tell me. Are you really okay?"

"According to your grumpy sidekick, I'll be fine," Chris shrugged and Jim could could see how awkward it was. "I now understand your relationship with him a little more. You hate hospitals as much as I do and I think he gets off on hypospraying the crap outta people."

"I told you," she laughed.

"You did. Are you okay?" he asked.

"Not even a little. Nero was gloating about killing my dad and how he was gonna end my life the same way. And I was more worried about you in that moment that I didn't think about it until last night but I can't ignore the fact that he almost won… I wish we could've figured it out faster."

"That's not on you, kid," Chris sighed "You did everything you could've done. I'll deny it if you tell anyone but... I wish I could've left you in command in the first place."

Jim smirked, "I won't tell."

"You have a ton of work to do, Captain. Hop to it."

"Yes, sir. I'm glad you're okay, Chris," she said with a chuckle.

"I'm just glad you didn't give up on me."

Jim shrugged, "You never gave up on me."

"Man, am I glad he's okay, she can't take another loss."

Spock looked at the doctor, "Am I to assume that they have some form of relationship?"

"Not a sexual relationship like the rumors… they're more family than anything," McCoy said. "Pike's listed as her next of kin. I don't know how much you know about her mama but they are barely on speaking terms. That woman had better stay far away from Jim. My mama might kill her."

"I do not understand," Spock said. "I was aware that Kirk's mother blames her for George Kirk's death."

"I wish it was just that," McCoy sighed. "Her mama blames her for every bad thing that's happened since she was born. Her father's death, her stepfather's… actions, her brother running away and his death, the list is as long as my arm. I don't even have the words for Winona. Met her once… I never wanted to break my oath to do no harm more than I wanted to that day. I don't know how Jim does it. I'm pretty sure that my mama and Pike are the closest thing to parents Jim has ever had. It's so unfair. My dad and your mom would never harm anyone, least of all us and they're both dead but Jim's mother is still hurting that kid. The crazy part is that Winona is missing out. Jim's one of the best people I know. I don't know where I'd be without her."

Spock assessed McCoy for a moment, "You love her." It wasn't a question, just an observation.

McCoy shrugged, "Give it time, you'll love her too."

"Love who? Uhura?" They both turned at the sound of Kirk's voice.

"Nope… nosey," McCoy said.

"I'm not nosey," she said as she rested her arm on the doctor's shoulder. "It's not my fault that you and Spock are having a conversation outside Pike's room." McCoy rolled his eyes but he didn't respond to her comment. "Come on, Spock, we have work to do."

The first officer looked at his captain, "You have not eaten since we've been aboard the ship. I would be remiss in my duties as the first officer of this vessel if I did not insist that you find sustenance before engaging in your duties."

"I'm not helping you," McCoy chuckled when Kirk gave her friend a look. "I agree with him. As a matter of fact, you both need to eat. I'll walk with you."

"Doctor, that is unnecessary," Spock said.

"He needs to eat too," Kirk laughed. "That's why he's tagging along. He wants to make sure we both eat… like we're children."

McCoy looked at her as they walked, "Sometimes, I'm not sure you aren't a child."

"Hey. Me and Spock saved the world… that makes us awesome," Kirk said proudly. Spock wasn't sure why, but her phrasing brought a sense of belonging that he'd never had before. The doctor and the acting captain bickered between themselves until they reached the galley. "Are you gonna pick our food too?"

McCoy looked at her, "Depends, what are you gonna have?" Spock informed the doctor that he would have plomeek soup and tea. He was not expecting Kirk to say the same. McCoy looked at her, "Really?"

"Yea. I like plomeek soup," she told him.

"How is it that I didn't know that?" McCoy asked as they went through the line.

"Because the cafeteria at the academy can't make it worth a damn," Kirk shrugged. The doctor laughed as they found a table. Spock had to agree with her, the academy's version of plomeek soup was lacking. McCoy watched Kirk eat for a moment before he ate his own morning meal. Spock would have to ask him about it at a later time.

"So, she called us all here. Where is she?" Leonard asked.

They'd already been limping home for a few days and he was not happy about it. The only thing that made it better was the conversation he got to have with his mama and his daughter. They both talked to Jim for a few minutes as well. Leo and Jim were both sharing a room with Spock. He wasn't sure if the Vulcan cared but Uhura certainly had her panties in a bunch about it. He's been telling her for years that Jim isn't as bad as she thinks but nothing seemed to be getting through. Maybe Jim would have to talk to her. Wherever Jim was.

"She was in Engineering when I spoke to her three minutes and thirty-four seconds ago," Spock said from across the table. The doctor looked at the Vulcan and rolled his eyes. He was gonna reply but he was interrupted by Jim and Scott in an argument.

"Not gonna happen, Scotty. Find another way," Jim said.

"We'd get home faster," the engineer told her.

"I will not sacrifice food for speed," Jim declared. "If we divert the power from the replicators that's exactly what we'd be doing. It won't matter how fast we're going if we all starve to death before we get there."

"As acting CMO, I'm with her on that one. Too many people on the ship as it is," Leo jumped into the conversation. They had refugees and everyone they could beam up from the damaged ships, there were almost six hundred people aboard the ship built for less than five hundred. They were cramped on space and while their food would last, it was gonna be tight. He could understand where Scott was coming from but Jim made the better argument. Spock seemed to agree.

"Perhaps we can assess another method of achieving the same amount of power without disrupting the replicators," the first officer added.

"Works for me," Jim sighed. "The three of us can brainstorm it." She took her seat at the head of the table and started with Spock, "Alright, fill me in." They went around the table giving her reports from the different areas of the ship. Jim listened, she asked questions when she had them and took notes when she needed to. She ended with Leonard, "Medical?"

"Almost empty. I have seven critical patients and the handful that Engineering sends over the course of the day but they aren't there long," he reported to his best friend.

She nodded, "Alright, we should be home in six days. Let me know if you need anything or you have an idea that might help."

"A memorial and maybe a movie night," Leo offered. Jim gave him a look and he continued. "The list came in when comms came back, we all know people on it. And then there are all the Vulcans. I think we need to take a moment and acknowledge... all of this. As for a movie night, we've been out here for three days, with six more on deck… the crew is starting to feel it now that the adrenaline is gone. I'm sure we got movies all over the ship, maybe we can do that one day."

Chekov caught on, "Da… or karaoke."

"A friendly sparring match between senior staff members," Sulu piped up.

"Up for a rematch, Spock?" Jim asked with an actual smile.

"I would not be adverse to such a match. I am aware that you only used defensive blocks on the bridge," Spock answered. So, someone else noticed that she didn't fight him back, she just blocked. Jim shrugged but didn't say anything.

"I'm just saying, other than you and Pike, most of us have never been through something like this. It might help," Leonard added.

Jim nodded, "You and… Yeoman Rand can put that together, add Sulu and Chekov's ideas to the list. Coordinate with Spock on asking the Vulcans if they want to join our memorial service. I'm guessing I have to say something?"

"Who else is gonna do it?" he asked her. Jim glanced at Spock.

"I will ask my father if he wishes to join you," the Vulcan told her.

She nodded, "Thanks, Spock. If that's all, you guys are free to go."