AN: Merry Christmas, Everyone! \m/

Since some requested a Mei POV chapter, and since it's Christmas, this chapter will be everything about Mei. :3

The Yuzu POV of this chapter will be the chapter five. Also, this chapter is actually very challenging. Thinking in Mei's perspective really teared some of my hair out. Actually I don't have any idea of what her lifestyle is or what she is thinking, but still, I hope it turned out good.~

Some of the lines were based from my favorite romance anime/manga. 'Your Lie in April'! The story is so beautiful and heartbreaking! If you have time, try it!

Anyway. I love you guys! Feel free to message or review for comments and suggestions! 3 Nyaa!

"Onee…"

Charging off the sidewalk that ran alongside a hidden side of the shopping district, a little girl sprinted all-out along a road, slanting diagonally away through fields of people in the midst of a heavy rain.

She wants to be away as fast as she could, along the path away from home, away from everyone.

Clinging onto a wrinkled fabric from her hood to cover her eyes full of horror, water pools went splashing as she stepped on each, slapping against her trembling little legs. The brown coat she stole from their warehouse was definitely not helping, her white dress was slowly getting dirtied.

Her mother will definitely get angry at her. But she doesn't have the luxury of worrying about that right at the moment.

She only had one goal in her mind. She only wants to see her. Last time. Just one last time.

"Onee..!"

As soon as she reached her desired destination, despite the intensifying rain, she still weakly balanced herself at the closest cherry blossom tree.

"Finally, here…"

She closed her eyes. She can feel every droplet touching her bruised face. The coldness and darkness was slowly immersing her, but she didn't even care.

"I'm better off dead, anyway." A voice too frail and weak was almost washed away by the pouring rain into the deepening darkness.

She slowly caressed her injured arm. She can still feel her grandfather's metal cane violently assaulting her, like an angry animal, like a broken cassette tape, constantly repeating until she admitted her mistake, until she cannot take it anymore, until she cannot feel anything anymore.

She was cowering in terror.

She was relentlessly reminded that failure is not an option, if do so, everyone will despise her, no one will love her.

It's true. She grew as someone so obedient, responsible, and respectable, definitely in her grandfather's favor.

But she hated herself.

But she despised herself.

A twelve year old girl like her was already broken.

And her only lifeline was taken away from her five years ago.

She desperately searched each tomb, looking for a name she craved to see and hear for so many years.

...

'Aihara Miyano'

At last.

She knelt down. All of her was trembling. Everything was cracking.

She cannot take it anymore.

"Onee-chan…"

She unsteadily raised her hands.

"Please…"

All that's left to her was a frightened trembling girl, desperately, hopelessly clinging to her sister's tomb like a life preserver.

"Please..!"

All that's left to her was a desperate wish.

"Please, save me…!"

Along with the huge roar of a thunder, her tears were slowly merging with the heavy droplets that came from the lonely sky, one after another, continuously, like an endless river-

Suddenly.

She can't feel any rain pouring down anymore.

"Huh..?"

She slowly raised her head to see the intruder of her space, only to be clashed with a pair of green eyes.

It has been a while since she felt a warm and pleasing presence.

"Hello." She calmly approached. "Umm… Do you know Senpai?"

She slowly backed away. She can't reply. The other knowing her identity will definitely bring forth danger to her and to the kind stranger. Betraying her interest, she tried to answer the other girl's approach by covering her eyes with her hood and rashly turned away to avoid her.

A ten-odd seconds have passed, and she received no response from the other. Curiously, she slowly peeked in one eye and was astonished to see the girl sadly smiling at her.

The other girl knelt with her while holding her pink umbrella to cover them from the heavy rain. "You're crying. You love her, am I right?"

She, again, answered her with silence while observing the way she looked at her sister's tomb. The intruder turned to her carrying a gentle smile. "What a coincidence, I also love her, very much."

At that moment, she only thought of one thing.

'What a gentle person this girl is.'

Despite not knowing her name, despite seeing her for the first time, she realized something.

She sparkles.

She sparkles in her eyes.

Suddenly, the umbrella swayed away as the other pulled the vulnerable girl into a hug. Extremely surprised, she kept on pushing the invader away while letting out a pleading cry but her arms are betraying her and no strength was coming out of her-

"Smile, little girl, smile."

"..Huh?" Her resistance suddenly halted.

The other girl buried her face in her shoulders. "That's what she always said to a crying me. No way could I forget that. She's not here anymore, and I know I can never replace her."

After breathing heavily, she continued. "...You cannot smile for her anymore, that's why,"

The other girl slowly raised her head and she looked directly into her eyes without falter.

She with a gentlest smile that lightened the darkest pit of her core, she sparkles so much it almost makes her want to cover her eyes.

The heavy rain has stopped, and the hefty rain in her heart was slowly easing.

"…Smile... for me, okay?"

"…Yuzu."

Mei abruptly opened her eyes. What greeted her was a great load of headache and a stack of papers all over her study table inside her dark condominium.

"Ugh…" She slowly sat up after realizing that she unconsciously took a nap in the middle of her take-home student council work. She took her reading glasses off and absentmindedly wiped them as she processed her recent dream.

'Why that memory at a time like this?'

She almost considered that memory a taboo. Considering their recent interactions, she knew it's almost impossible for her to see Yuzu comfort her like in that memory again.

She knew that she will never see that smile anymore, especially with her involved.

She violated her for her selfish wishes.

Mei gently touched her lips with her weak fingers. The way she forced herself to her hurts so much, but her lips were so soft it was almost comforting.

Mei leaned in to the warmth of her chair. "I'm the worst." She painfully whispered.

After their first interaction, she quietly observed the kind stranger in a distance, hoping to see the smile that shed a little bit of hope on her to live again.

A year later, she heard a private conversation from her father and an unknown man with a white coat that her sister's heart was donated to a young girl in a car accident, and miraculously, survived.

And the name of the young girl was Amamiya Yuzu.

She secretly infiltrated her father's study room. All the files were scattered, all the drawers opened, until she discovered a paper stash with a picture of the girl with complete medical records and her heart's statuses every year.

The same girl who smiled at her, the same girl who gave her hope.

The same girl who let her live again.

She was exasperated, she was also happy, she was also sad, she was also angry. All emotions stirred in her fragile body that she cannot even shed a tear anymore.

All these information was hidden from her, from her whole family. Her grandfather is extremely prideful and knowing this will definitely be dangerous to everyone involved, especially to Yuzu.

Her smile let her live, and she cannot let that smile disappear no matter what.

She will be selfish, for one last time.

She made a resolution. A life her sister saved and a life that saved her, she will definitely protect it, she will protect her by staying away from her to prevent Yuzu from meeting her grandfather.

She will protect her by not involving herself to her anymore.

Even sacrificing her own life and happiness for her.

It gave her a reason to be close to her, yet it also gave her more reasons to stay away from her.

Mei bitterly smiled. The person she wants to be with so much was too much out of her reach anymore.

Mei knew her day won't be pleasant, especially a letter with a heart stamp inside her shoe locker facing her first thing in the morning.

She heaved a long sigh. "Not again.."

She was really not in a mood for pointless confessions with her mind filled with studies, student council work, and a certain troublesome blonde. Ignoring the letter will affect her reputation so she had no choice but to participate and predict a senseless banter later on.

...

And she's right.

"I-I love you, Aihara-san!" A fidgeting first year girl furiously blushed as she yelled her confession from the top of her lungs.

Mei just looked at the girl expressionlessly.

At the times like this she wants to thank the gods that there's no one currently idling at the school yard during lunch time.

The young girl continued. "You're so cool, amazing and majestic..! I can't stop thinking about you and I w-want to know you better… That's why… That's why..!"

The young girl gripped her skirt tightly and closed her eyes, gathering all her courage to convince the other girl of her sincerity.

"Will you… Will you go out with me..?"

"..."

Mei admired the girl's strength to confess her feelings to her. She experienced confession so many times and out of all, this young girl's confession was undeniably sincere.

She was amazed, but it didn't affect her.

'It's pointless.'

"…Thank you," Mei tried to answer as gently as possible. "but I'm sorry, I can't accept your feelings for me. I don't deserve it. I'm sure someone else will love you more." Mei bowed as she ended her speech.

She slowly raised her head and later on walked away leaving the young girl in place, when suddenly, she was being pulled into a back tight hug.

"W-Wha.. What are you doing—"

"Just one time!" Mei can't help but noticed the cracking voice of the other. "I really love you. Date me just once, please..!"

Suddenly, things became complicated.

She really hates stubborn brats like her the most.

"…You don't know me better to declare that you love me."

"B-but… I'm sure we can understand each other more if we-"

"No." Mei shrugged the hold of the young girl.

'It's completely pointless.'

If she can't reject her in a gentle way, then she'll tell her straightforwardly.

"It's impossible."

She looked directly in the eyes of the trembling girl.

"Because I'm not capable of loving the likes of you."

Mei turned her back to her and continued her tracks. She doesn't want to look back or else she'll hate herself even more.

But she didn't feel anything. After experiencing nothing but control and pain for the past 17 years, of course she's now numb. After all, hurting others became her specialty now.

She became an exact replica of her grandfather.

And it's not surprising anymore.

She fastened her tracks as she realized how pitiful she is right now.

She grew up to be twisted, horrible, insensitive, and now she cannot redeem herself anymore. She was broken all to pieces, a broken being like her doesn't deserve love from everyone, even from her parents, even from Yuzu—

"…I'm sure you'll have an A+ in your card if there's a subject of "Pushing people away", you know?"

Mei ceased her pace. Hearing her voice was the last thing she needed at the moment.

Mei observed her. "I thought I had silenced you completely, looks like your eavesdropping skills even improved."

Yuzu was resting her back at the nearest pillar from the school yard. She raised both her shoulders. "Well, blame my P.E. class for being near the school yard."

Mei did not answer back. Her voice makes her irritated, at the same time, her voice calmed her.

It's bitter, yet it's sweet.

It's painful, yet it's soothing.

She's a puzzle that its difficulty keeps on increasing every single time they interact.

She really is an embodiment of all her mysterious ironies.

Her line of thought was halted when the blonde faced her with a stern expression. "She loves you."

Mei narrowed her eyes. 'So that's what this is all about.' "She doesn't. She just misinterpreted her useless infatuation with something so serious."

"'Useless infatuation', you say?" Yuzu marched towards her target. "She told you she wants to know you better. It's clearly not useless, she's sincere!"

"Loving someone because she's cool and amazing? Don't make me laugh."

"She loves that side of you, can't you see it? That's why she's willing to know you better to love you as a whole!" Yuzu's voice was getting angrier in every exchange.

Mei's cool was slowly deteriorating. "She won't. Once I exposed everything to her, she'll give up on me."

"You'll never know until you try! If she really loves you then she'll accept everyth-"

"She'll accept everything?"

She's getting tired of this pointless talk. She just wants Yuzu to go away.

"Accept everything… Wow, so you're still clinging on that childish bit of make-believe definition of Love? I'm disappointed, Amamiya."

The other was losing patience as well. "What..?" Mei noticed the blonde's trembling fists. 'Good.' She wants her to be angry for her to have a reason to stay away from her.

'Please be angry at me.'

But the blonde still continued. "Then let's hear your righteous definition of love, Miss Aihara Mei."

Yuzu moved closer with the intention of rage.

"Let me hear that goddamn definition of yours."

Mei held her glare for a few seconds before looking away. She needs to answer the question, yet she can't. She tried to remember the instance she felt she was truly loved. Can she consider the terror of her grandfather's metal cane as 'Love'? Can she consider her family's endless expectations to her as 'Love'? Can she consider all the pain she accepted without fighting back as 'Love'?

In the end, only one answer came to mind.

"None."

"None? That's your reason for constantly wrecking other people's emotions and randomly kissing and controlling everyone on your own accord and satisfaction?! Don't mess with me!"

"Yes. None." Mei repeated, leaving the other in widening eyes. She directed it to the blonde filled with doubt and to herself for reassurance.

"Are you… serious...?" Yuzu was dumbfounded. She was too stunned to talk back after the revelation.

"Yes."

Love was something that was taken away from her. Love is forbidden for her.

For once she loved, she will defy all the ideals her grandfather had for her. And she's too broken to fight for her own right.

She answered Yuzu with a clouded smile.

"…I was raised to be a puppet, after all."

Several months have passed since their heated argument at the school yard.

After the meeting, Mei absentmindedly locked the student council room as she looked around for a certain individual.

'No traces of her again.'

She expected it. There's no way she'll stick around again after shutting her down for several times. No ordinary human would chase after a horrible person like her after all.

While descending the stairs, she pulled a random book from her bag to entertain herself for a bit and escape reality only for a few minutes.

She left the school vicinity with no noise to distract her from reading. She was not really new to peace, always playing alone, always studying alone, she grew up living in solitude so much that she ended up not relying on others.

She was always alone, that she realized that solitude will be the only thing that will accompany her for the rest of her days.

She was always alone, that she realized that solitude is so..

So lonely.

Then, suddenly she noticed someone standing near the school gates.

"…"

As if she can see right through her, into her heart.

Always, out of nowhere.

She just show up.

Resting her back on one side of the gate, casually eating a single stick of Pocky, observing her with her green eyes, and her blonde locks swaying.

"…Yo."

She really shines.

Mei, pretending to be not interested, she intensely looked at the book she was currently holding.

"…Are you here to pity me? If you do, then go home. I don't need it."

"No freaking way! Don't be so full of yourself! I don't even have time to pity myself, you know?"

Mei looked at the girl in question. "…Then, what exactly do you want?"

"Nothing," The blonde stood properly while eating the last bit of her Pocky.

"…Just wondering if having a company hurts for a Student Council President."

Mei's eyes widened. She can't believe it. "I see." How can she read her heart so easily when she doesn't even understand it herself?

Her wall was crumbling. She knew fighting back right now will be useless. If she can be honest once…

Only once, then…

"No."

The blonde looked at her questioningly while she closed her book. "I'm answering your question."

The blonde confusion deepened, the raven's eyebrows twitched.

"Do I really have to spell everything to you? Having a company! It..."

Mei to heaved a deep sigh. "...doesn't hurt."

A few seconds have passed, and she received no response from the other. Curiously, she slowly peeked in one eye and she was completely stunned.

She never thought she'll live long enough to see it again.

A very familiar smile that warmed her up to her core.

The smile that gave her hope.

"...Finally!"

Everything she said and do, she really sparkles so brightly.

"Thank you, Mei."

She sparkles so much that it makes her want to cover her eyes.

"I want to show you something." Yuzu pulled her along by the hand, as they stride towards a destination the blonde greatly desired.

But she can't help but look at her with both eyes opened.

She then presents her with the most reassuring smile.

Because her sparkle showered her the most beautiful colors to her darkest life.