Author's Note: This story assumes you've played trough to the end of the game, so beware of spoilers!

Obviously I don't have rights to any of Bioware's characters or plot, no infringement intended, etc, for this entire work. ^_^ Thanks for reading!

-Penance-

He sought out Mythal because she was the only one who knew him for who he truly was. Who else could understand the magnitude of his failure? Who else had the capacity to empathize with his loss? The orb had shattered, and, with it, The Forgotten Ones would be lost forever where he had hidden them so long ago. He brought them through the Eluvian to keep them safe, but that was in another time. In this age, the blights were corrupting them, they were no longer safe, and he needed to rescue his people before any more of them perished.

Now, that would never happen. Everything was lost.

Even his lover was lost to him, now, for how could he stay with her? Ma Vhenan, Avalon Lavellan. He held her name in his mind like a eulogy. After all the death and loss that his mistake had caused, how could he expect her to understand his grief? And, what about the possibility that his dear Avalon would not only understand his grief, but accept him in the midst of it? What if she found compassion for him in that wild and amazing heart of hers?

No. He did not deserve her compassion. He deserved the weight of this pain. He deserved to be shackled to the consequences of his mistakes. He deserved to pay.

He was not merely Solas, the elven apostate. He was Fen'Harel, the Dread Wolf. He would carry that burden with him for the rest of his days.

He would return to the life of a wanderer, roaming from place to place, losing himself in old ruins, tempting fate to take his meager husk of a life. Perhaps he would make a mistake, and death would find him, swift and vicious. Perhaps a sweet release awaited him.

Before his penance, he needed confession. He needed to know that someone else bore witness to the atrocities that he was responsible for. He needed to know that, if he died, the burden of his sins would lie on his shoulders. He wanted his condemnation to live on in the memories of another.

Who can the old gods seek out for confession, but each other? The irony was not lost on him.

And, so, it was Mythal, his old friend, that would play the role of his priest. He came to her, downcast, burdened by despair. He let his forehead fall into her embrace, like a wolf nuzzling for comfort. He came to be seen, to empty his cares in a momentary release.

His heart roared like the wind and sank like a stone. How could one's soul feel so wild and yet so thick? Every corner of his being was cracking, and feelings poured out at every fissure. It was too overwhelming, feeling so much. It was too much.

And, then, it happened before he could stop it: from all around a dark force pulled the wind right out of him, gathered together the pieces of his soul, grinding them, crushing them. And that is when he felt it: Mythal's soul cut into his back like a cold blade, and funneled into his body, filling him with her mind, her memory, her soul, and her dark heart.

He felt her look up, through his eyes, the black smoke of her possession dissipating as her spirit settled in.

He felt her reach out with his arms to catch her now lifeless body.

He felt her stand on his legs and move towards the mirror before her.

"Dear old friend," she said. "I will hold you together."

What was left of his mind grew wild with fear. This is not what he asked for. He tried to scream, but even the thought was strangled under her prowess. Her soul was a black blanket, binding him, smothering out his will to live and strangling him in the darkness.

His life was flickering.

It was so tempting to let go, to allow what pieces of his identity that were left to be crushed, dispersed, and merged with Mythal's magnetic and commanding presence.

But no: this is not what he wanted. He would not be snuffed out. Yet, what could he do?

There was only one way to fight. He pulled himself together. He buried himself deep inside this body. And he waited for Mythal to fall asleep.