disclaimer. A:TLA © NICKELODEON

a/n. did I jump onto the bandwagon a bit too late? :/ I actually have no idea if I'm doing Azula's character right. In fact, I don't even know if I'm doing Ty Lee's character right lol. So, here's a (potential) OOC warning before you start!

heartbeat
(part 1)

It isn't much of a secret, but she gets nightmares once in a while. The servants are ordered to keep their mouths shut; the princess has a reputation to keep, after all. That's why nobody ever talks about it.

And these nightmares would usually result in smashed mirrors, broken glass, torn sheets, and fractured bones. Well, rarely the latter, but the princess still hurts herself from time to time.

Ty Lee knows it, because she can hear her.

She hides it well, however, and would always arrive at breakfast with perfect makeup, perfect hair, and perfect attire the next morning. She is the definition of perfection, the very symbol of beauty. Ty Lee knows that. She truly, wholeheartedly believes that. Nothing can break her. Nothing.

Ty Lee watches as Zuko and Mai eat at one end of the table, and Azula on the other end.

On days where she wakes up with nightmares, the princess can barely hold the chopsticks in her hand without shaking. It makes Ty Lee's heart clench.

Maybe she should do something.

.
.

After breakfast, the princess trains, with no breaks, all the way until noon. Her motions are always smooth and beautiful—almost like she's dancing. If the princess dressed in blue, one may think that she's a water bender. But on days when she's hurt herself, Ty Lee would see it in the princess' expressions. She would see how the princess winces whenever she lands from a particularly high jump, and that her golden eyes would squint just so when she moves a bit too fast.

On those days, Ty Lee would innocently suggest things so absurd that Mai would make a clever remark—different every time—before retreating.

"Let's see how many fire gummies we can stuff into our mouths before we puke!" Is today's suggestion.

A sigh, and then, "You do that, and I'm going to go contemplate on what is beyond stupid. Oh wait, life is. Then let me go contemplate on something that I hate. Oh, that's everything, isn't it?"—she disappears from the courtyard.

And when the sounds of Mai's footsteps can no longer be heard, Ty Lee would jump into the midst of the princess' training.

"Do you have a fascination with death?" Is what Azula would say as she barely stops herself from blasting blue fire into the acrobat's face.

Ty Lee doesn't drop her serious expression, though. Her brows furrowed, she backs the princess up against a tree. The princess from five years ago would not have hesitated to fight back, but right now isn't five years ago. Ty Lee reaches for the princess' hand, gripping it in the slightest to see her reaction.

"…!"—a soundless gasp.

She frowns. "You're hurt."

"It's none of your concern." Azula retorts so, so nonchalantly, it makes Ty Lee's heart clench.

But she refuses to lash out. Instead, she sighs and looks down at their joined hands. "Azula…" Ty Lee takes a step closer, her forehead now touching the taller girl's shoulder. "Where does it hurt?"

"…"

She looks up and repeats the question, "Where does it hurt?"

And the princess pulls her hand away, silently returning to her training routine.

She returns to it, no matter how much it hurts.

And Ty Lee can't help but to think—maybe she should do something.

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.

Then one day, she doesn't show up for breakfast.

Ty Lee doesn't recall hearing any smashing glass or screams from the night prior, so why isn't the princess present?

"Where's Azula?" she asks, and it seems like she's the only one who is genuinely worried.

An uneasy Zuko looks to the corner of his eyes. "The servants say that she's not feeling well this morning. She's going to skip breakfast."

Ty Lee understands—yes, it's difficult to accept Azula for all that she's done. And, yes, Zuko has done well enough for her, especially as the difficult position of the Fire Lord. He welcomed her back to the Fire Nation with open arms (literally; though the hug wasn't reciprocated) even though the council members strongly advised against it; he even does his best to accommodate his sister's needs even though she is quiet most of the time. But it's hard. His little sister has gone from being a power-hungry monster to one who shows no emotion.

Ty Lee understands—because she, too, does not know which of the two she fears more.

She needs to do something.

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.

So Ty Lee knocks on her door, and she isn't exactly expecting anything more than a response. In fact, she doesn't get one. So she simply pushes the door open to find—relief—a clean, regal chamber of a princess. She steps through the threshold and isn't exactly surprised to find Azula out of her bed, sitting at her vanity. She is still in her red and gold robe—a garment that Ty Lee knows is the princess' least constricting one. Approaching her carefully, she swallows.

"Azula?"

No response.

Ty Lee comes closer. She clears her throat and tries again, "Azu—" then she stops. She stops because she sees the princess' reflection.

No makeup.

Her hair is down.

And without these trivial decorations, the princess looks all but human. It's not like Ty Lee's never seen her without makeup. But right now, those dark circles under those lifeless golden eyes, chapped, pale lips, tear stains don't make her look so perfect anymore. Suddenly, the concept of perfection—Ty Lee's idea of perfection is erased. Because up until now, the only perfect being she has ever laid eyes on in the entire world is, what she believed, to be Azula.

It no longer is.

Her heart clenches again.

"… Please go away."

Please. Princess Azula of the Fire Nation actually said please. Not mockingly, not with sarcasm—but she was saying it with a voice that trembled.

Ty Lee balls her fists. "No."

Azula closes her eyes and lowers her head. "Please."

"No." She repeats. Fighting the urge to shake, Ty Lee instead kneels down beside the princess and takes her trembling hand. It's much colder than the last time she's touched it, Ty Lee notes.

Their gazes lock.

"… I hate you." Azula whispers.

She looks up, into the golden eyes that she's always so fascinated with, seeking for a sign of threat, for anger—for a hint of a spark. But there was nothing. "I know," Ty Lee responds.

"I should've killed you."

Flashes of what happened five years ago at the Boiling Rock run across her mind. Ty Lee's grip on the princess' hands tightens. "But you didn't."

A pause.

Ty Lee looks up.

"I can do it now."—Azula gives an empty threat.

The cold hands Ty Lee is holding onto withdraw, and slowly, with no will, those hands wrap around her neck. Ty Lee stays still, never breaking eye contact with the princess. The grip is soft, and like Azula's eyes, lifeless. Ty Lee relaxes herself and let her eyelids fall. She waits for Azula to kill her.

…

But the moment never comes.

Ty Lee opens her eyes. She feels Azula's hands shake—like she's trying to use strength, but the strength won't come to her. So she watches as Azula concentrates. Her eyes quiver and her brows narrow with frustration, but she doesn't explode.

The spark is gone.

Without thinking twice, Ty Lee reaches up to frame the princess' face. Her warm palms contrast with the latter's cold skin—like fire on ice. Azula does not react to her touch, which scares her greatly. Under her palms, she feels the princess' cheekbones, the soft skin, though she is all but distracted by the deathliness in her eyes.

Somewhere deep down, Ty Lee wants Azula to use strength. To dig her—now—blunt nails into her skin.

She runs her hands down the princess' neck—past her pulse, down to her shoulders. She peels the robe open slightly, revealing more of Azula's clavicle—"Are you hurting?" Ty Lee repeats her question from a few days back as she spots a dangerous purplish-green bruise that spreads on the entirety of her right shoulder. It is especially defined—given how pale Azula's skin has gotten.

"No," Azula says, finally turning away. "I'm not." She pulls her hands away from the acrobat's neck.

Ty Lee clenches her jaw. "Liar." She buries her face in Azula's chest, and turns to listen to her heartbeat.

The princess does not move. She simply watches in silence.

Ty Lee knows that there are more bruises, scratches, and cuts on her body. She knows that the armour Azula usually wears is too tight, and that it clenches at her body so securely it can be extremely painful at times (she knows, because they've played dress-up back in the day). That is why Azula isn't changing. That is why she 'isn't feeling well'.

So when she wraps her arms around Azula's waist, she is extra careful. When she turns her head to listen to Azula's heartbeat, she is extra gentle. And when she speaks, she is extra quiet. "Are you tired?"

A sigh. That, Azula could answer. "Yes."

Ty Lee's ear is still against the princess' chest, and Azula's heartbeat is so, so soft. She can barely hear it. "… Then stop lying."

Azula stiffens.

"For once in your life, please just stop lying." Ty Lee holds her closer, her fingers now clasping onto Azula's shoulder blades.

"… Lying…" Azula starts with a weak voice. She brings her hands up and looks at them briefly before placing them on the acrobat's shoulders. "… is all I have left, Ty Lee."

She listens to both Azula's words and heartbeat, simultaneously. For some reason, she is getting more truth out of the latter.

"I can lie to myself that I am still Crown Princess," she plays with the smaller girl's braided ponytail, "… that I am still fourteen and am hunting for the Avatar," she cups the girl's face, tilting her head up. Their eyes meet, "… that Mai and you are still by my side."

"I'm here right now, aren't I?" Ty Lee answers without thinking. "You don't need to lie to yourself about it." She takes Azula's hand with her own and nuzzles her cheek against it. "I'm here."

Azula responds by stroking Ty Lee's cheek with her thumb.

There is this indescribable and inexplicit atmosphere that is starting to surround them. Neither one of the girls has experienced such a feeling. It is comfortable yet eerie, relaxing yet daunting, and above all else, it is so familiar yet so foreign. Ty Lee can vaguely remember having a feeling similar to this when she had her first crush.

She used to think of said crush constantly.

Her crush was a girl with golden eyes. She had the softest, smoothest raven hair that always flowed with the wind as she ran. She was a bully and is (was) slightly sadistic, but she couldn't help it. Thing is, that girl was surrounded by contradicting expectations from both her father and mother. Her father expected power and ruthlessness—and she delivered. Her mother expected compassion and kindness—and she tried; she really did. But why focus so hard on two things when she could do so with ease on only one? Why win the affection of two people when she only needed acknowledgement from one? Why not be something that one of them hates just to prove that she's capable?

"My own mother thinks I am a monster. She was right, of course, but it still hurt."

Lies.

She was lying that night—in so many ways.

Her life is a lie.

Poor, miserable, pathetic little Azula.

When Ty Lee came to, she realizes that they are both panting. Their chests are heaving and their eyes are glazed. Their lips are a mere inch apart.

"Then lie to me," Azula whispers. She moves in, and their lips meet.

It's just a gentle brush, but the contact makes Ty Lee forget how to breathe.

"Lie that you want this," she continues as she kisses along the acrobat's jawline. "Lie that you won't leave."

Ty Lee is gasping. Her fingers shaking, she's gripping for her life onto the fabric of Azula's robe.

Azula follows the sinews in her neck as she kisses downwards. She stops at the bump of Ty Lee's throat and sucks on it gently. Then she moves back up to whisper against Ty Lee's ear,"… Lie that you don't hate me."

She snaps her eyes open. Ty Lee pulls the princess up with force and backs her up to the bed—she falls on top of her and, taking advantage of her position, pins Azula down. "I want this,"—is the first thing Ty Lee says. "I'm not going to leave. I don't hate you, and I…" she finds her voice shaking, "… I wish I can go back in time,"

Azula closes her eyes as Ty Lee leans in to kiss her. When she opens them again, she finds the girl above holding back tears.

"… I could have saved you from your world."

The princess turns away.

Ty Lee mirrors Azula's actions; she, too, follows the tendons in the princess' neck and kisses down. Her fingers meanwhile begin to peel off that gold and red robe. Azula isn't wearing anything underneath, and Ty Lee knows that once she pulls back, she will see all her wounds.

She doesn't know if she's ready, but she does it anyway.

"…"

Her eyes widen.

No. Please, no—

"… why are you crying?" Azula asks with her eyes closed.

Yes, Ty Lee is sobbing. It isn't because Azula's body is beaten up. It isn't because her skin is so disgustingly pale that it has this unhealthy, greenish hue to it; it isn't because her ribcage is protruding out of her abdomen, and it isn't even because there is still dried blood on the untended cuts and scratches on her arms, legs, and body.

It's so silly.

She's sobbing because Azula isn't perfect.

"Please… stop crying." Azula pleads, cupping the smaller girl's cheek.

Again with the please. Ty Lee doesn't know how long she can last like this. So she dives down and seals their lips together. She feels Azula's cold touch slip down to her shoulder, and shudders when it moves lower—"Nn…"—a moan escaped her throat when the princess stops at her breast. Ty Lee bites at her lower lip and arches into the touch; her taut stomach muscles contort as Azula trails her fingers past her exposed abdomen—down, down, down—and they slip through the waistband of her skirt. Ty Lee scrunches her shoulders up and she buries her face into Azula's neck. She is tense and Azula is lax. She is burning in Azula's ice-cold fire and it's killing her but she wants the princess to do so much more and to delve much, much deeper so so so badly.

"Lie to me." Said princess repeats in a whisper. "What do you want?"

Ty Lee grinds her hips into Azula's fingers. "I want you," she gasps, breathless. "Please, Azula, I… I want you."

The vibrations of the acrobat's voice send shivers throughout her body. Sighing deeply, Azula rubs two fingers against Ty Lee's moist opening, coating her digits just enough before pushing them into her.

Ty Lee stiffens. She lets out a whine and feels her inner muscles clench as Azula plunges deeper. The princess is making such… such torturous motions—circling, twisting, scissoring—and she's barely adjusted. "A-Azu… la…" she pulls back so that their eyes can meet. There is a hidden, silent language that is somehow spoken when it happens. She is given permission to proceed, so Ty Lee leans forward to kiss her once more. Then she begins to roll her hips, and at the same time, she feels Azula accommodating her by following her rhythm.

It's strange. Azula is giving her full control. As if she deserves it.

Through lidded eyes, Ty Lee sees the princess looking at her emotionlessly. And it's borderline disturbing because this isn't what she wants. No—Ty Lee doesn't want this. She doesn't want Azula like this. It's almost like she's getting fucked by a ragdoll. It's sickening. It's gross. Stop it.

"Make me come." Ty Lee grunts under her breath.

Sharp grey eyes glare at dull, golden ones. Azula responds with a blank face. She flicks her thumb out and presses it hard against the girl's clit. And when Ty Lee moans her name over and over—Azula Azula Azula—she all but stares. Even when Ty Lee writhes in pleasure above her, even when Ty Lee starts shaking, even when Ty lee arches her back… and even when Ty Lee shatters, Azula only stares.

It hurts—Ty Lee decides, that the princess isn't showing any form of emotion. Not even a hint of that sadistic nature she once enjoyed delivering so much. It hurts because Azula is so unlike the Azula she used to be—that she is being so gentle and delicate and careful and, god damn it, Ty Lee wants to strangle her.

Azula's fingers are still inside, and her muscles are still convulsing, contracting around them, but Ty Lee doesn't care. She starts moving her hips, ignoring the overwhelming sense of pleasure that is bursting from her core, singeing every nerve of her lithe body. She bites her lip to contain herself. "Again."

Azula obeys. Her fingers undulate within as her thumb swirls on Ty Lee's hardened nub.

Said girl presses flush into the princess. She is careful not to rest on her bruised shoulder, so she finds herself an awkward position beside Azula's head. Her moans and cries go directly into the princess' ear, and knowing full well how lewd and sexual she is sounding, it is rather amazing how composed they both are. Azula, especially, is still being so damn gentle. It's like she doesn't want to hurt her or something.

"Am I hurting you?" Azula suddenly asks.

Ty Lee's eyes widen.

"Lying… is all I have left, Ty Lee."

Azula touches a particularly sensitive spot.

She couldn't answer—she's coming again and the waves are washing from her centre up to her chest and she's burning—

"… Ah… A-Azula…!"

The girl in question holds Ty Lee close. She lets the smaller girl scream into her neck.

Ty Lee arches closer into the princess. Wrapping her arms around her, Ty Lee digs her nails into Azula's shoulder blades as she hangs her mouth open. She tries to scream, to say something, but she can only whimper as her hips jerk well out of her control.

Yet she rides her strong, painful orgasm with ease—all because Azula is guiding her through it. She strokes her opening with a strength so tender it brings tears to Ty Lee's eyes. Azula whispers sweet nothings into her ear as she rubs her back, making Ty Lee hold the princess even closer.

"Did I hurt you?" Azula rephrases when Ty Lee finally stops panting.

"… No." She answers, her voice muffled into the pillow they are resting on.

Azula nudges at Ty Lee's chin, making the girl face her. Their eyes meet again for the thousandth time in the past hour, yet it doesn't feel any less spectacular, because there would always be a new twinkle, a new spark that would emerge if they looked close enough.

… but there is no spark in Azula's golden eyes. Ty Lee moves lower and finds herself a comfortable spot on Azula's chest. She tries to listen to her heartbeat. She tries to find her heartbeat.

"Are you lying?" Azula continues.

Ty Lee finds it, but it's soft and weak. And she can't help but to think that maybe… maybe she can't do anything, after all.

"Yes."

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a/n: in which I just want to write Tyzula smut. Hence, nothing makes sense.
Ha-ha just kidding. More plot in the next (final) chapter! Please tell me how I did on my first fanfic EVER.