Chap. 1

Tony Learns to Trust

Lana I hope this is just what you were looking for. I've tried to incorporate everything you wanted into this little story.

Attn: These characters are not mine and I am in no way making any money from this. Also this story will contain discussion of and/or spanking of an adult. If that isn't your thing then please leave now. You have been warned, so no flames!

The slight tremble in his hands is the only thing that tells me something is wrong. There were no words exchanged, so it must be a voice mail. What kind of voice mail would send tremors through my Senior Field Agent? An old case maybe? A family problem? Tony really didn't have much family though. Whatever the reason, I know once we wrapped up this case I had to get to the bottom of this. Left to his own devices, Tony would work himself into a tizzy and engage in all kinds of self-destructive behavior just trying to deal with whatever had been in that voice mail. Why couldn't the kid ever just talk to me? Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Maybe once he's had time to process, he'll come to me with whatever has him upset. Now though, I have a murderer to find.

"McGee, you and DiNozzo check out the house. Ziva can get started on the financials. Get going!"

I watch as both Tony and Tim grab their bags and guns and all but run to the elevator. Tim has sensed something in my bark that isn't quite right. He's now eyeing Tony as the door closes on the elevator. Maybe Tony will feel comfortable to talk to Tim. If not, we'll deal with it, we always do. I just hope Tony comes to me before whatever this is gets out of hand. I grab the phone and punch Abby's number. Surly she can at least tell me where the call originated.

"I'll be with Ducky, Ziva. If you find anything, let me know."

She nods as I too head for the elevator. My gut has started churning now. Something is definitely up with Tony and I need to find out what before my boy go off the rails. Now though, I need Ducky's opinion on how to approach the kid about this. I don't want to send him running for the hills. He's too important for me to mess up again.

I hear the door as I stand to refill my coffee. A quick glance at the clock tells me it well past midnight. At least he had the forethought to text me and let me know he was going to be home late this time. Maybe I am getting through to him. He still didn't tell me where he was but, it's a start.

"Dad! I didn't think you'd still be up."

"I wanted to make sure you were alright. You seemed off today. Anything I can help with?"

I watch as he debates with himself. He wants to tell me, but he doesn't want to get me involved. It's dangerous, Tony's family and he knows this all too well. He's still not accustomed to having someone in his corner, but we're getting there. One day he won't be afraid to open up and let me see all that he hides.

"No, I'm good. I'm just going to head to bed."

"Tony, whatever it is, you know I am always on your side. That will never change. We may not agree on things, but you always come first."

I've penetrated the barriers now. The walls are starting to crumble. Those expressive green eyes are glassy and red rimmed. He's trying so hard to hold himself together. I wish he wouldn't try so damn hard. He's only human after all.

"Tony, please talk to me, son. Something scared you, I just want to know what."

He sits on the stairs and shakes his head. I crouch down in front of him and place my hand on the side of his face intending to turn him to face me. The violent flinch from him halts my movements though.

"Tony?"

Folding his arms over his knees, his dark head drops onto those crossed arms.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."

I sit beside him and wrap an arm around his shoulders, pulling him towards me. He's trembling again. I kiss the top of his head and hug him to me. I need him to trust me on this.

"My father called earlier. He's going to be in D.C. tomorrow. Some business merger or something. I don't know what to do."

I see the problem now. Tony is most of the time an adult and can act of his own free will, but growing up with tyrannical parents has left him with a fear that may never go away. He was hurt and abused as a child by them. That leaves scars of all kinds. The adult in him tells him to man up and deal, while the child is still terrified he's going to be hurt again. I've worked too hard building a relationship with this kid to watch it be destroyed by some bully who couldn't see the gift right in front of him when he had it.

"Does he want to meet with you?"

"For lunch. I don't want to go."

"Then don't."

"He'll just come looking for me if I don't."

"Then he'll find me and I guarantee he won't like that."

"The last time I saw him, he beat me with a strap and a cane. That hurt so much!"

I rub his back as his tears soak my shirt. I've heard bits and pieces of this story over the last couple of years. Tony had been home for Christmas break and had gone out with some friends to party. Being fifteen and thinking they were invincible, the party lasted until dawn, when a cop took them all home after they were caught driving under the influence. Later that evening, Tony had been punished severely, beaten bloody for his involvement.

"He can't hurt you now. I won't let him. You're safe now, son."

I feel him relax against me and wrap my arms tighter around him. I really need to get him to bed, but neither of us is ready to let go just yet. That's fine, I'm content where I am for the moment. Besides, the tears have become little sniffles now. When I feel him pull away, I kiss his forehead and brush away the remnants of his tears.

"I wish you had told me all of this this morning. I can't imagine how frightened you must have been today."

"I wanted to tell you. I've just never had anyone that I could go to until you. I'm still feeling it out."

"I know, bud. I just hate the thought of you having to deal with this on your own. That's why you're going to promise to come to me if something like this ever comes up again. If not, my hand and your backside are going to have long talk, understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now up you go."

I watch until he's turned the corner headed for the bathroom. One day, he'll see just how important he is to me. Until then, I just have to keep telling him in little ways, I guess. Like grabbing a bottle of water and some Excedrin for the headache I know he has now.

Placing the water and Excedrin on the nightstand, I watch him as he dries his hair with a towel. He seems so young sometimes it breaks my heart. I turn the bed down and head for the closet across the hall for an extra blanket. When he's sick, hurt, tired, or just emotionally wrung out Tony gets cold easily. I doubt tonight will be an exception. I grab one of the thick hand quilted blankets my grandmother made and head back to his room. He's already under the covers when I get there.

"Thought you might need this tonight."

Tony smiles shyly as I tuck the quilt around him. Yes I'm aware he's grown, but I'm certain no one ever did this for him as a child. I want him to know he's cherished here with me. I don't think anyone ever outgrows the need for a parents love and affection. Finally once the blankets are righted, I stand and flick the light off and make my way back to the bed. I'll stay until he falls asleep and probably sometime after to ensure that whatever nightmares haunt him can be chased away as quickly as they appear. Tomorrow will bring trying times for both of us, it's for the best if he gets some rest now.