Chapter 1

Ice cold hands travel up and down my chest and abdomen, as I squirm trying to get away. I really don't want to be touched or coddled or anything because of my phobia but Luke doesn't care he's getting carried away in the heat of the moment. He lands a salty kiss on my lips and then gently says something in french "chut , mon frère , vous savez ce que vous voulez", "non, luke , je ne veux pas, descendez"I say in response. He runs his fingers through my hair and kisses me again, then just as suddenly he sits me up,pulls my shirt off and undoes my pants,then pulls the covers down and we get inside. "Luke"I say quietly, "shh it's ok Mark"he says kissing me on the forehead, I roll on my side facing away from him but then I feel his arms wrap around me, I flinch but don't make a move to get away because I know it won't work anyways. Eventually he kisses me one more time and then I guess at some point falls asleep.

As soon as I hear his breaths even out I gently get out of his grasp and I go to the bathroom. I close the door behind me and I look at myself in mirror. Purple bruises graze my collar bone and wrists where he forced me onto the bed, he didn't get past kissing me but still, I feel so dirty on the inside, we should never have gone even this far,but it was not like I had a choice, he drugged me with a glass of wine, not a lot but just enough, and then when it took effect, took me to the bedroom. Now i'm here, staring at myself in the miror knowing I should get showered, to get this dirtiness off of me,out of me. I reach over and turn on the water,making sure it's not too hot, and I get in. I let the hot water run over my skin, trying to relax,putting this night's events behind me. I finally finish and I get out of the shower, then I realize I don't have my clothes. So I wrap myself in a towel and gently sneak out of the bathroom and then the bedroom. Then I go down the hallway,not knowing what tomorrow or what he will bring.