I was watching Epic Rap Battles of History on YouTube the other day, when I was suddenly struck by inspiration to make my own rap battle. This one's between the main characters of my two most popular stories, Raven from the Mercenary and Krieg from Death Korps of Justice. Bear in mind, this is not a story, just a fun little one-shot I wrote for fun. With that said, enjoy the battle.

Rap Battle: Raven vs. Krieg

Raven:

What's up? It's Raven speaking

About to bring a world of pain on this weakling

The awesome Mercenary meets the stiff vigilante in a fight

That's not even a contest, and you know I'm right

I'm the ever sexy girl with the sass

You're just a trigger-happy racist ass

While you keep running back and forth in a flash

I'm robbing banks for some juicy cash

I've got style and fame

While your character is simply lame

You come at me with your shotgun and knife?

I'll just draw my Desert Eagles and end your life

Krieg:

Oh great, another girl spewing useless shit

Emperor knows I get enough from that blonde-haired bitch

Let me say this right away, you're through

I've got a hundred thousand more views than you

I'm the ruthless and hardcore deal

When they look at you, they think "is this girl real?"

You're a crazy mercenary with hundreds of guns

But compared to me, you might as well have been part of a choir of nuns

My story is dark and gritty

While yours is just dull and shitty

And what are you proud of? You're just a rewrite of an existing chick

Me? I'm a real OC character, written by a dick

Raven:

Don't get too full of yourself, pal

I may be a rewrite, but I still got more style

I've got guns, cash and an awesome bike

What do you have? A bunch of teens that you don't even like

And my story may not be as dark and gritty

It doesn't have to, it's got humor and explosions, but don't you dare call it pretty

And about your character development, great job

You're about as one dimensional as that Teen Titans villain Bob

You're just so angry, grumpy and broody

The author should have just called you Mad-Eye Moody

And aren't you supposed to be a soldier? Ya know, someone with the job to kill?

With the amount of progress you've done there, I'm sure the villains are just taking it chill

Krieg:

I'm not allowed to kill, 'cause it's against the law

But if I ever run into a villain, I beat them bloody and raw

But I suppose you wouldn't know anything about it, you self-serving merc

When you work for the Justice League, you can always count on a nice perk

What's even the point of your story?

It's just about a crazy chick stealing all the cash and glory

In our line of work, I'm prepared to pay the ultimate price

You don't even have such a commitment, running away rather than risk to roll the dice

Just as an example, When Deathstroke came after me, I stood and fought

In your case, he just waved a few dollars in your face, and you were bought

Come on girl, don't you have a sense of pride?

Pop over to Death Korps of Justice, and I'll show you a ride

Raven:

This is just really sad

Your rapping skills are just plain bad

Don't you dare feel proud of your fight, you got your ass beat

And if you look at chapters 5 and 19, you'll see that it wasn't a lone feat

While you run around with your adolescent team

I'm living the criminal version of the American Dream

Have you ever looked at your fights? It's like a bull seeing red

My martial arts move would be enough to make Jet Lee drop dead

But don't feel bad, I've learned to share

So come over here and have a taste if you dare

But it's enough now, I don't want to hear another word

Because I'm just about to make you butthurt with the tip of my sword

Krieg:

Okay, you win, I admit it, when I fought Deathstroke, I did lose the fight

But at least I didn't get my ass handed to me by a douche dressed like a traffic light

But I beat the others, Sportsmaster, Livewire and that clown Joker

With your track record, I doubt you could even beat me at poker

And don't you dare complain, you've got a role to play in my plot

It's just as side character, but you should be happy with your lot

Your story may be a stand-alone

But with all the pointless violence and explosions, it may as well have been about Sylvester Stallone

This is just pathetic, there's no other word for it

You should just give up and crawl back into your pit

'Cause I fought in a war, and now scheduled for number two

You think you can beat me, but that's something you just can't do

So, who do you think won here?