A/N: Ok, I'm sorry for not updating sooner, but my parents went outta town and left me by myself. So I had no story and *other* things to do. HeHeHe And I got a new boyfriend, but he's in the Looney bin currently. And then I went to my first day back at wrestling with a new promoter and he decided he wanted to try to use me. I think it worked, but Im the new Hardcore champion! :) Anyways, I don't own anything, so I'm gonna shut up now.
~Casey's POV~
My jaw practically dropped, Shane was sooo much hotter in person! I almost died right there on the spot. I think I was gonna like staying with Rachel. Even Jeff was hot. I think I died and went to hottie heaven! We drove in Rachel's Camero to the lake. It was a beautiful night. And the weather was still good for swimming.
"So, anyone in for a night of utter chaos and possibly drowning?" Rachel asked, popping the trunk to reveal it full of beer.
"Damn Rach, You planning on killing us?" Shane asked.
"Nah, this is only a small amount, you should've seen her birthday party in Texas. Now that was some serious drinking" I laughed.
"Dude, I think I had a hangover for like a week after that." Rachel giggled.
"Well, lets get started!" Jeff exclaimed tossing beers to everyone. My first night here and I'm already gonna get smashed. This is awesome!
"Hey Rach, Whose cars are those?" I asked pointing to the headlights coming our way.
"Hey Its Matt and Amy!" Jeff shouted.
"And Shannon too!" Rachel exclaimed.
"I knew I knew that car!" A tanned blonde stepped out of a blue pick up truck. He ran over and hugged Rachel and moved over to high five Jeff.
"Jeff? Rachel? Shannon? Shane? Girl who I have no idea whatsoever of your name? What are you guys doing here?" A tall guy with long dark hair said as he stepped out of a van laughing.
"Wow, were having a party and didn't even know it." A red head giggled sliding out of the passengers side.
"Matt, Amy, Shannon. Id like you to meet my friend Casey. She's gonna be staying with me for awhile." Rachel introduced me. They all said their greetings and popped all the hatches. Revealing a shitload of alcohol.
~Jeff's POV~
I grabbed Rachel by the hand and drug her to the trunk, grabbing a couple floats and some beer. Since this had turned into a party, I'd find some way to be alone with her. We treaded out into the middle of the lake and watched how silly everyone was being on the shore line. We tied our floats together and popped open our cans.
"Cheers, to us." I whispered
"To us." Rachel echoed.
I carefully paddled over to a portion of the lake that was really secluded. I wasn't drunk and Rachel wasn't either, so I couldn't blame the drinking, but I had to try. We made our way to where the water met the shoreline. I pulled our floats up and watched as Rachel sat back down.
"Lay down." I told her, positioning myself just over her.
"Jeff are you sure?" She nervously asked.
"Only if you are." I replied hoping that line worked. Not that it was a line, but I couldn't handle being around her in a bikini much longer.
"Yeah, I guess I am." She whispered, toying with my hair that fell over and graced her chest. She took a deep breath.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I watched from our spot in the middle of the lake as Shane cuddled up to Casey. They looked awfully cozy together. Rachel noticed too.
"Jeff, you've known Shane for awhile right?" She asked watching the two stumble off hand in hand.
I nodded. " He's not gonna hurt her is he? Cause if he does, I'll kill him." Rachel calmly informed me that one of my best friends would die if he fucked up.
"Nah, he's really a good guy. A bit of a dork, but really good with chicks." I reassured her. Seeming satisfied with my answer she laid back on the float. Her long black and purple hair falling in the water.
"Ya know Jeff, I used to hate it here. I wanted nothing to do with this place. And for once, I can honestly say, I'm happy." Rachel laughed.
"Babe, I'm glad you decided to become social. I was beginning to think that you were gonna graduate before I got a hold of you." I said leaning over and attempting to kiss her. Only it didn't work. We both fell into the water.
~Rachel's POV~
I came to the surface sputtering and laughing. Leave it to Jeff to make a nice sweet moment end up in the water. We grabbed our floats, walked up to shore and noticed that everyone had pretty much scattered. Amy and Matt were gone as was Shannon. Shane and Casey were sitting on a blanket having a few beers. Casey was more than drunk. I had had one beer and wasn't even tipsy. Then again, I figured someone had to be responsible for getting everyone home. Jeff was slightly gone and there was no hope for the love birds. They looked drunker than Ozzy Osborne before his AA meetings.
"Hey, you drunkards wanna make your head spin?" I asked laughing at them.
"We are stoe totally snot drinkards!" Casey tried to say. I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
"Get in the car." I grinned evilly. My Camero wasn't just for looks.
Everyone climbed in after packing what was left and throwing our trash away. I remember leaving a trail of dust on the dirt path and taking it up to the gravel parking zone. I remembered how my dad had showed me to do donuts. After doing about 5, I stopped and watched the dust settle.
"Dude, Did we die?" Shane asked confused. Casey just sat wide eyed for a few seconds.
"Wow! That was neato."
"I didn't think you had it in you Rach, I'm proud!" Jeff laughed. I continued driving, taking everyone home and still smiling. Once I had dropped off Jeff and Shane, Casey crawled up front.
"You seem kinda quiet. Anything wrong?" Casey asked seeming concerned about my silence.
"I'll tell you the story when we get home."
~Casey's POV~
We got home safe and sound and Rachel even made a pot of coffee. I only started to sober up on my 3rd cup.
"Hey Rach, I think I made a big mistake." I told her sheepishly.
"Why's that?" She asked pulling a Faygo red pop outta the fridge and sitting on the couch next to me."
"Well, You don't think Shane would ever use me would you?" I asked carefully wording my sentences.
"I don't think so why?" She looked at me curiously. "Actually, Do I even want to know why?"
"Well, we kinda uhhh...yeah." I tried to explain.
"Lemme guess, In your drunken stupor you slept with him?" She asked sympathetically.
I nodded my head.
"Yeah, well your not the only one, except I cant blame mine on the alcohol." She sighed. "But it was sooo good!" She giggled.
We continued to tell each other the story with out the gruesome details until the phone rang. Rachel ran to pick it up.
"Case, it's for you." She said handing me the phone. 'its Shane.' She mouthed to me before I grabbed the phone.
"hello?"
"hey Case, About tonight....I feel really bad, but I wanted to ask you if you'd be my...uh....my...errr...Girlfriend?" he shyly stuttered.
"Yeah, I'd like that." I replied grinning from ear to ear.
" Ok, well I gotta go take a shower and get the lake water outta my hair. Call you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, tomorrow." I echoed almost in a daze.
"Night babe." he said hanging up the phone. I hung up and screamed.
"HEY RACHEL!!!! SHANE JUST ASKED ME OUT!!!!!!!" I started jumping up and down. She ran over and jumped up and down with me.
" I have no idea why I'm jumping up and down but its kinda fun." Rachel laughed.
" Dude, how can you say that you hated this place? I've been here one day and I love it."
"Yeah, well...I didn't used to hang out with these guys." She replied "Come on, Its late...We should get some sleep, or we'll never be able to get up in the morning." Rachel suggested
"Yeah, night." I said yawning, walking up to my room to dream about Shane.
~Rachel's POV~
I walked upstairs to my room. I ran a hot bath and broke down and cried. I mean, I had had a number of guys hit on me and try to get in my pants, but Now that someone got there, Did he use me? Maybe I should just cut off communication with him now so it doesn't hurt me later.
"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the answer is always there."
I climbed in the bathtub and soaked myself for what seemed like hours. I had no idea why I felt this way. It seemed all good when Jeff was around. But now that he's not, I just cant deal with it. Its like, I'm not with him anymore. But I am. Its almost as if I'm afraid to lose him.
(Can't wash it all away)
(Can't Wish it all away)
(Can't hope it all away)
(Can't cry it all away)
Getting out of the bath I looked in the vanity mirror and although I felt different I was still the same. But I still felt as if I had to get away from it all. I mean, My mom and her loser ass boyfriend were god knows where, and my step Mom was pregnant and I'm no longer a virgin. I needed a new escape.
The pain that grips you
The fear that binds you
Releases life in me
In our mutual
Shame we idolize
To blind them from the truth
That finds a way from who we are
Please don't be afraid
When the darkness fades away
The dawn will break the silence
Screaming in our hearts
My love for you still grows
This I do for you
Before I try to fight the truth my final time
That was it. I loved Jeff. I was in love with this guy. And if something so simple could make me feel this way, then it had to be real.
"We're supposed to try and be real.
And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real."
Maybe everything was just falling apart. And I couldn't control it. It shouldn't have to be like this though. I had one of my best friends here, Jeff was still with me. It was only a few days ago that he was here, lying in my bed...
Lying beside you
Listening to you breathe
The life that flows inside of you
Burns inside of me
Hold and speak to me
Of love without a sound
Tell me you will live through this
And I will die for you
Cast me not away
Say you'll be with me
For I know I cannot
Bear it all alone
Maybe I just need some help. Like a therapist or something. Or maybe this is what everyone goes through when they lose there virginity. Or Is this just love?
"You're not alone, are you?"
"Never... Never."
I dressed in a pair of flame Pj pants and a simple black tank top. Sleep was hopeless though. I was completely appalled at what I had done. But I loved Jeff.
I was seriously lost in my own little world when I heard a gentle tapping on my door. I opened it to find Casey and her Simba.
"Were you asleep?" She asked. I shook my head.
"Same thing bugging you too?" I asked her. It was her turn to nod.
"Well, looks like were gonna be up the rest of the night." Casey said with a half smile.
"Don't you feel so damn childish?" I laughed at our stupidity. I had noticed that somehow I had managed to grab my care bear. And here Case and I were, tear stained, holding stuffed animals in Pjs. What a sight that must have been.
"Kinda, but I really don't give a shit. I don't know what to do."
"Me either, what did we always used to do when we were upset and together?" I laughed remembering back in the day.
"Sneak around and snoop in your moms stuff." She replied.
"Well, Lets go." I said grabbing her hand and leading her into my mom's room. We snooped through drawers, closets, boxes, everything we could find. Until Casey found a small metal box.
"Hey, Rach, you ever smoked weed?" Casey asked me
"Yeah, a few times, why?" I asked pulling out another box from under my mom's bed. I opened it to find a 2 foot bong. "OMG! My mothers a pothead!" I exclaimed.
"Yeah,. I just found a stash of weed. Wanna smoke it?" She asked with an evil grin.
"Why the fuck not. We have nothing better to do." I smiled back. "As long as no one knows about it. Jeff will probably kill me and I know Shane will kill me for letting you.. So this is our secret." I held my hand out positioned for our secret handshake.
"Ok, we tell no one." Casey said as we shook on it.
I packed a bowl and lit it up. Taking my first hit of escaping reality. Little did I know that this escape, Would later lead to a different kind.