Remember that time I said I was taking a break from angst?

Well, then it was Weeping Wednesday so…

Title from the song by Gregory and the Hawk

Warnings: Language, angst, Character death

A Century is All We Need

"Kind of cold."

"What?"

"I said, it's kind of cold. Aren't you cold?"

Trowa looked over at the man.

The man looked back, his blue eyes somehow friendly and dangerous at the same time, his lips tilted up into something between a smirk and a grimace.

"I'm fine," Trowa told him and turned away.

"Right, but you've been up here for a while - how long again?"

Trowa rolled his eyes. It was an obvious attempt, a clumsy question.

"A while."

The man chuckled and he moved.

Trowa looked over again, alarmed, but the man was just sitting down, dangling his long legs over the side of the building and Trowa looked away again, looked down at the street, at the small crowd gathered and the police line set up to keep them far enough back in case -

"Well, why don't you take my scarf?"

Trowa looked over to see the man holding out a length of green wool.

"I'm allergic."

The man arched an eyebrow.

"Like allergic enough to die?"

The joke was unexpected, as was the laugh it forced out of Trowa's raw throat.

The man looked triumphant and Trowa reached over and pulled the scarf out of his hands.

"You've got amazing balance," the man said, eyes narrowed as he watched Trowa wrap the scarf around his neck as he balanced on the ledge.

"I used to be a gymnast."

"Oh? When you'd stop."

"When I got bored."

"Fair enough."

They lapsed into silence, the man seeming perfectly content to just stare out at the gray sky and let Trowa balance on the ledge, on the top of a fourteen storey building.

"Aren't you supposed to introduce yourself?" Trowa asked.

"Hm?" The man turned to him.

"In the movies -"

"Do you want me to introduce myself?"

"I don't care."

"Well, you're the one who brought it up," the man pointed out.

Trowa scowled. He had.

"Duo. My name is Duo."

"That isn't a real name."

"Well, what's yours?"

"Trowa."

Duo arched an eyebrow.

"And you're going to judge my name?"

Trowa glared over at him but Duo was staring out at the sky again.

"How has your day been so far, Trowa?"

He snorted derisively.

"Same here," Duo sighed. "And I didn't get to have coffee at home before I drove over here. You do that? Have your first cup of coffee at home?"

The inane question shouldn't bother him, but Trowa had to clear his throat and shake his head.

"Not anymore."

"Ah."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"What do you think it means?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you're annoying?"

"Just everyone I've ever met," Duo laughed.

"How did you end up with this job?" Trowa asked in bewilderment.

"I annoyed the wrong person." Duo shrugged. "Better than traffic duty."

"You're not wearing a uniform."

"Plainclothes. I don't think navy is really my color anyway."

"Black?"

Duo grinned.

"Yeah, that I can make look good. What about you?"

"What?"

"Favorite color?"

"Green?" Trowa hadn't been asked that question since he was in grade school.

"Goes with the eyes and your coloring - and hey, that scarf does look good on you. Is it itching you or anything?"

Trowa tugged at it.

"No."

"Good. I'd hate for you to be uncomfortable."

They fell silent again and Trowa shivered. He was starting to get cold.

"Want to talk to me about Heero?"

Trowa turned and almost lost his balance.

Duo was up and reaching for him quickly, faster than Trowa had thought he would be able to move, but when Trowa regained his balance on his own Duo backed off, hands up.

"How do you know about Heero?" Trowa demanded.

"That secretary - Cathy? She mentioned his name, said this was probably about him. Is it?"

"No. It's - he's not here anymore." It hurt to say the words, to think of his face, his lips, his laugh and his body.

"I know he's not," Duo's voice wasn't soothing, but it made Trowa nod, made it easier to breathe.

"So there's nothing really left for me," Trowa continued.

"How do you take your coffee?"

"What?"

"I was saying before, you know, I didn't get to have my first cup at home - well, I actually haven't had any yet and… why don't we have a cup?"

Trowa stared at him, but Duo appeared to be earnestly in need of coffee.

"Black, two sugars."

"Man after my own heart," Duo smirked. He pulled out his radio and repeated the coffee order and Trowa wondered if maybe it was some kind of code, some kind of trick - but five minutes later a navy clad cop came up to the roof with two steaming cups and Duo collected them from him, far away from Trowa, and waited for the cop to leave before approaching Trowa.

"Probably really hot," Duo cautioned as Trowa took the cup. "Wouldn't want you to burn your tongue."

"You haven't tried to talk me out of jumping."

"Not yet," Duo agreed.

"Are you even… good at your job?"

Duo smirked.

"Why? Do you want to trade me for someone else?"

"No," Trowa decided. If he had to talk to someone before he died, it might as well be this guy. He was annoying but… decent.

"So, about Heero -"

"This isn't about him." Not really. It was about the lack of him, probably, maybe. Partially, at least. Trowa could admit that much to himself. It hadn't been about Heero before and now that it was after - now it was only partially about him.

"So what is it about?"

"Nothing. It's about nothing."

Trowa took a sip of the coffee and it was still too hot. He made a face.

"Sorry - it's kind of scalding, isn't it?"

"Just - do whatever you have to and let me go."

"Well, if I do what I have to do, then I can't let you go," Duo said.

"You aren't going to talk me out of it."

"Okay, then let's just talk for a while. You in any rush?"

Trowa sighed.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know," Duo shrugged, "read any good books lately?"

Trowa shook his head. The last book he had read - it had been Heero's. Had been his copy of The Stand. He hadn't enjoyed it the first time he had read it, and he hadn't enjoyed it the last time, either, not thinking about where Heero's fingers had been, not thinking about Heero's face when he read late into the night, keeping Trowa awake while he read in bed.

"Me either. Tried reading some bullshit self-help book - some kind of relationship guide or whatever but…" Duo shrugged. "Not so much my thing. What about movies? See any good movies lately?"

"This is a stupid conversation."

"Well, what do you want to talk about? This is going to be your last conversation, right? So what do you want to talk about?"

His last conversation with Heero had been a fight. A stupid fight about nothing - about Heero's promotion and that had been it. Harsh words. Cruel words. His last words to Heero had been fuck off.

"Last guy I talked to - like this? He wanted to talk poetry. So… I mean, after him I bought some Robert Frost and shit so if that's more your style?"

"No."

"Good. I read it but… metaphors and shit aren't my style so much either."

Trowa rolled his eyes. He wondered if anyone had jumped just to stop listening to Duo talk.

"What's your bowling score?"

"What?"

"You know - bowling score? I'm awful, so I've got a 78 but -"

"That's pathetic."

"I know, I know. Yours?"

"150. Which isn't great either."

"It's double mine."

"Yours is really bad."

"Yeah," Duo agreed with a shrug. "I don't bowl much. The other guys- they have a team but... I'm not much of a team player as it turns out. Unless we're talking hoops. You play any? You've got height, a good build- you sure you aren't cold?"

"A little," Trowa admitted, though in truth he was more than a little cold and his fingertips and nose felt numb.

"Here."

Duo shucked out of his jacket and passed it over.

Trowa stared at it for a moment but Duo held his gaze and Trowa accepted it.

It smelled clean and it was warm and-

It reminded Trowa of how Heero used to steal his jackets, his sweaters and wear them when Trowa was out of town.

He had only kept one sweater of Heero's, his Yankees sweater, but he had been afraid to put it on yet.

"Better?" Duo asked.

Trowa nodded. He noticed that Duo was only wearing a thin, long sleeved t-shirt. He would get cold quickly. Maybe he was hoping to wrap this up soon.

"Alright. Worst date you ever went on. What happened - who'd you go out with?"

Trowa sipped at his coffee, it was tolerable now.

"Prom, senior year. I went with Quatre Winner and - he wanted to drink before hand but he drank too much and when we got to the hotel room after he puked all over me."

Duo chuckled and then looked apologetic.

"Sorry, sorry man, but that sounds rough."

Trowa nodded. Quatre had been nice enough, but too eager, too innocent and simply too much.

"Yours?"

Duo shrugged.

"Took a guy out for seafood and it turns out he's allergic to shellfish - it was a night of discovery for both of us. His name was Wufei. He… well, he's down there somewhere." Duo stepped closer to the edge and then gestured. "Standing beside the far left squad car. We can't see it but I'm sure he's scowling up at us."

"Are you two still together?"

Duo snorted.

"Nah. Hell no. He thinks I'm the most annoying person on the planet. I think he'd rather spend the rest of his life alone than with me."

"You aren't that bad."

"Yeah? How bout I take you out sometime and I can challenge that assumption?"

"Are you allowed to proposition..."

"Jumpers?" Duo shrugged. "Probably not. Handbook is a little vague on the subject though. Why? Afraid I'd get reprimanded or are you looking for a way to sue the fine state of North Carolina? Let's give that a shot- probably not the most elegant con, but it might get us some money. We can meet up in New Mexico after I get out of jail."

"Why New Mexico?"

"Dunno. Always wanted to visit. Doesn't have to be New Mexico. Where do you want to go?"

Heero had wanted to move to Illinios, but Trowa didn't like the cold.

"I guess. New Mexico is fine."

"Or Vegas- we could always gamble."

"I don't like to gamble."

" I like it. There's risk involved- calculated risk I guess. There's a chance you'll go bust but also the chance to win big- you just have to know your limits and play your cards right."

Trowa glared at him.

"I thought you didn't like metaphors."

Duo shrugged.

"Yeah, well..."

"There's nothing left for me with Heero gone. This isn't about me being too sad to live- there's just no point in me going on anymore."

"It's a small world, you know," Duo said. He had shoved his hands into his pockets and he looked cold. "That guy I told you about? Wufei? His name is Wufei Chang. You've met him before."

Trowa frowned. He tried to place the name- it sounded familiar but-

"He knew Heero." Trowa remembered him now, remembered watching a Yankees game at a bar with Wufei a few years ago.

"Yeah. I guess they went to college together? Anyway... He was the one who should be up here. It's my day off and all but he... He didn't think he'd ever be able to forgive himself if he let his friend's lover die."

"I'm not- I'm not his lover anymore. He's dead."

"Yeah. But he's always going to mean something to Wufei."

Trowa swallowed hard. It was good. Good that someone would remember Heero. Good that he meant something to someone.

"He'll never forgive you if I jump either," Trowa said.

"Probably not, but he's already got a long list of reasons to hate me. Don't let my situation burden you- unless it's going to burden you enough to step down, in which case, you know..."

Duo was smiling slightly, the look friendly, as if they were in on a joke together.

"He said Heero was a good guy."

"He was."

"And... He loved you, right?"

Trowa swallowed hard.

"Yeah."

"And he could somehow put up with Wufei so... sounds like a solid guy to me."

"Talking about Heero isn't going to make me step down."

"What would?"

Trowa gave him a look.

"If I knew I probably wouldn't be standing here."

"That's a good point. You a fan of Christmas?"

"It's not a team."

"No but...okay. What are your thoughts on Christmas"

"It can be nice."

"Growing up I never really had a family or anything and now it's kind of a big deal for me. I make a huge spread- I think I'm going to roast a goose this year."

"A goose?"

"Yeah. I watched Julia Child do it. It looked damn tasty. She made some weird fig stuffing for it too but I figure... Might as well do it right."

"I've never had goose."

"Me either. Took me forever to find a butcher that has it but I finally did. Picking it up next week."

"You have a family?"

"Oh, no. It's just me."

"You're going to eat a goose on your own?"

"Not in one sitting. It should last me a few days - I'll freeze some too. Maybe make a soup? Goose soup? Is that a thing?"

"I don't know."

"I'll look up a recipe I suppose. Or just make something up. Do you like to cook?"

"Not for myself."

Cooking for and with Heero had been - at times it had been good, at times it had been frustrating. But cooking alone, for himself, always left him feeling depressed and empty and he usually ended up throwing the food away.

"Yeah, it's better to cook for someone. One of these Christmases I'll have somebody with me, I'm sure."

"Are you?"

"No, but I'd rather hope for something than the alternative."

Trowa looked at him.

Duo set down his coffee cup and took a few steps closer. He held out one hand.

"You're not the type I can scare into stepping away or the type that I can guilt trip. You're different, Trowa. You feel empty and it's more than just sadness and it's more than just losing Heero and I understand that. I know what it feels like to wake up and wish that the next time you close your eyes would be your last. But just - it's going to happen anyway, Trowa. One of these days you're going to die anyway. Think of all the things you can fill your life with before that. Think of the people, think of the meals and the movies and the books - and the bowling games. You're going to have so many chances for happiness, Trowa."

Trowa stared at his hand and he felt a tug of longing. Duo's voice was almost hypnotic and Trowa closed his eyes. It would be easy to step back, easy to keep going on, but why? Why would he -

The wind blew and it threw off his balance. He wavered, had to spread his feet and he felt himself tip forward and then -

Strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him back. They were locked tight, tight enough that Trowa struggled to breathe as they fell backwards onto the rooftop, his fall cushioned by Duo's body.

"I've got you," Duo said, his breath warm on the back of Trowa's neck. "I've got you."

Duo's right hand reached for Trowa's and he laced their fingers together, gripping him tightly.

"I've got you."

It was the first time anyone had touched him since Heero's funeral six months ago.

-o-