Original A/N: SLAP ME PLEASE. I don't know how I'll manage to write this, as it's been a while since I've watched/read KnB, but I just had to for some reason. Had no. i'mslippingawayit'stoolateinthemorning.

New A/N: Ahem. Amen. This is the updated version, with better writing more closely to my style. I don't often write in first person, but I had to in this case because I don't want everyone's perspective for the story... and Mitsu is cute.

Enjoy!

00 : I Am Yukishiro : Boku wa Yukishiro

Every day is a new day.

Each day I live is another day I learn something about the world I live in.

At night, I dream. And by morning, I see the light.

My name is... Yukishiro Mitsu!

When I was young, I lived in America. It was honestly frustrating moving there because of how people there couldn't say my name right with their carefree accent (which I hated), or how difficult it was to pick up the language. Plus, since moving to America, I was always the "transfer student who you need to say 'ching-chong' to," despite my not-so-Asian appearance. It reminded me of one time where I had a Spanish transfer student in class, and everyone tried speaking broken Spanish to her, except somehow it didn't seem as weird as with me. Maybe it's because they don't even know the difference between Japanese and Chinese.

Sob!

But there, I must admit... I met these two boys that taught me basketball.

Before that, I would watch them play on our elementary court. One of them, being like me, wasn't very good at his English quite yet (though he was still better than me at it). The one that was way better than the both of us taught him how to play first, and I would watch as he got better and better. His skin got tanner, his eyes became more passionate, and I wished that I could make the expressions the redhead made. But that was fine, as I would often make the same proud face as the other boy at his progress.

I didn't dare say a word to them. I was too amazed at how they played that I didn't want to interrupt. I was a girl, after all, too scared to speak to boys (especially those doing a sport by themselves, of course it'd be awkward and embarrassing to do so).

One day, I saw the two on the sidewalk. The boy with his left eye hidden by his dark hair was giving the red-haired boy a ring, and they bought a chain to become "brothers." I really liked seeing that. It was like there was his bond they stepped into that was closer and better, something I was afraid I'd never have.

Thankfully, I didn't.

I was watching them, hiding behind a tree. Somehow, the older boy spotted me, and looked at me. I mean he looked at me. It was hard to look away. I was frozen for a minute, not knowing what to say or do, as I just kept idiotically staring instead of pretending to be occupied with something else. Well, I didn't have a phone then, so I couldn't pretend to swipe on that— there wasn't anything interesting about my shoes, or the tree beside me—

So being stupid as I was, I walked towards them.

"Ha—hi!" I twitched a smile, stiffly bowing before them.

The redhead blinked. "What are you doing?" he asked in English.

"Oh, um," I quickly stood up unnaturally straight, "Sorry." I was being silly speaking in Japanese the entire time, knowing that they would understand.

"Do you speak Japanese?" the older boy asked, in English as well. He smiled a little. "You look... familiar."

"I, um, watched all of your games!" I meekly replied in English, not to get any looks from other people around. "Err, your basketball games! You— you play that, right?" I looked down again and tried to swallow, my throat feeling tight. What am I doing! I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid, I repeated in my head.

That was not how you should talk to two boys for the first time.

But look. I was like, eight, nine years old? I didn't know?

"That makes sense," the older boy said, speaking in Japanese. He stood in front of me, and smiled. "I'm Himuro Tatsuya. Nice to meet you, um—?"

I flinched. "Ah, it's Yukishiro Mitsu!" I burst, quickly realizing the volume of my words and slapping my hands over my mouth. I was very nervous at that age, and couldn't speak to kids my age or older at the time, with most of them being American. I wasn't confident with my English then. Still not to this day dang it.

Himuro and I shook hands. I hope he didn't notice my palms beginning to sweat in anxiety. "What a unique surname you have there, Yukishiro-san." He turned to the redhead and said, "This is Kagami Taiga. Taiga, this is—"

"Yukishiro Mitsu. I heard," he interrupted, causing me to shake a little. He looked so intimidating, but when I look at it now, he was actually kind of shy then. He wasn't, let's just say, the best with girls most of the time.

"Shiro-san has been watching our games with our friends," Himuro continued. He turned to me and asked, "You must know how we play, huh?"

My lips parted. It seemed a bit hard to breathe, with him calling me by 'Shiro.' After all, a senpai like Himuro-kun made words somehow difficult to come out, with the way he looked so princely and acted like a young gentleman. I could see him with a crown and uniform, walking into a castle. He could practically take my hand and kiss it, though at the time I thought that'd be gross and weird. Haha!

The silence was a bit awkward because of me spacing out (stupid, stupid), so I had to say something or else I'd die. What did he ask again? I wondered. Something like... just make up an answer. Is it a yes or no question? I spaced out pretty hard, but they were patient enough.

"Well, y-yes," I finally squeaked.

"Do you know how to play basketball, Shiro-san?" asked Himuro.

I gulped. "Well, not really..."

I have never touched a basketball in my life.

I could only imagine what facial expression I must've put on then. A deer-in-the-headlights face? An I'm-a-complete-liar face? A doom face? I just remembered that I could only think of one thing:

Please, please, please don't ask me to play with you!

"Is that a yes?" Kagami spoke aloud, cocking a brow. He was suddenly interested. I definitely had the doom face.

"W-Well, no. I can't play like you guys," I stammered, already tripping on my words and trying to use my hands to explain. "I just, I have this way, and— oh forget it," my hands were thrown down to my sides, "I can't play with you two! I-I'll just suck, you know? Haha?"

That laugh made me cry inside.

"I'm sure you're great at basketball," Himuro assured with a calm smile. Just how patient was he? I wouldn't know, even if I spent years with him. How do I know that? It's not hard to figure out from here.

Before I knew it, even though it was around five in the evening, we went onto the basketball courts near the school we all went to (I told them on the way that I went to their school too, which made them recognize me even more), where I'd watch them play all the time. Kagami had a ball.

On that day, I touched a basketball.

Don't make that face at me! I seriously had no interest in sports until I watched them play! I didn't know what I was missing out on, honestly.

Feeling the roughness and seeing the black lines on the orange, I suddenly felt pulled to something at that moment. I didn't know what, but I felt... adrenaline. Well, it wasn't like anything I had experienced in my entire life. Even though I hadn't lived for that long.

"How about you shoot the ball instead of staring at it?" Kagami asked me, jolting me from the feeling. It wasn't completely gone though—in fact, it shrunk due to reality, and built up inside.

I smiled timidly. "I-I'll try," I said. It wasn't like I could escape from this. Well, I could've, but I didn't do that, so yes— I know I was weird. And sadly enough, I still am.

So I tried mimicking something Himuro-kun would do. I bent my knees, not too much, raised the ball above my head, and hesitated. After a heavy short breath, I shot.

I missed.

No...

Kagami looked at me all weird, back and forth from the hoop to me. I blushed and hid my face.

"Have you really played before?"

"Um!" I barely let out. "I— not against anybody, no! Or in a long time either." I felt horrible lying ridiculously. I looked like an idiot, and it was so obvious too that I was cringing and crying waterfalls inside.

Himuro just chuckled. He clearly didn't get it.

"Maybe you're rusty," he said to me. "You're probably amazing if you get the feel."

Maybe I'm rusty? Maybe you need to get your brain checked, because you must be dumber than me to not see that I—! No! Bad thoughts, go away!

Oh I had the feel. It was just stuck inside, going haywire, but that was probably mixed with my strong urges to just make a run for it. Stupid, stupid, I kept repeating in my head again, not sure what to do at that moment.

Kagami ran to get the ball, and threw it at me. For the accomplishment of the day in which I bothered to cheer for inside, I actually caught it! Hooray little me!

I started to calm down my pounding heart, because I wanted to not look like a senseless little liar if they're going to keep going with it. Trying a different position to get comfortable, I found myself twisting my left ankle a bit more, using my left hand for more boost onto the ball. It went farther, but way off to the right of the hoop, hitting the green wire fence.

I made a doom face.

I'm so, so, so stu— You get it.

"I'm so sorry! I'll get that," I embarrassedly apologized, only for Kagami to get it again, making me look slow. Stop making me look so bad at this, Kagami-kun! Please don't make that face, sob! I cried inwardly.

"You haven't played before," Kagami bluntly said. "Your form isn't right."

I couldn't even bother to be ashamed for lying. I just managed a, "I'm sorry—"

"Stop apologizing! You don't need to." Kagami gave me the ball and pushed his hand on my back to the court.

When I was about to position myself again, he pushed my small shoulders down. "Don't put your shoulders up to your ears, dummy," he told me. "Also, you're not bending your knees enough. Your left ankle is twisting to the side a bit too much."

I nodded, my heart beating fast and blood rushing to my ears as I felt his hands leave me. They were boy hands, small but bigger than mine, tanner than mine, more calloused and used than my delicate fingers and unblemished skin. I was straining to hear. The ball was in my hands, my nails short enough not to get caught in the small bumps and ridges, my hands sweaty enough to grasp it and control it. I closed my eyes, trying to block out my pesky thoughts to focus on my breathing.

So, when I aimed and threw— guess!

I actually hit the headboard! Only for the ball to hit the right side of the hoop and fall out of it.

Oh! Yay— sigh.

Himuro-kun ran to get the ball, giving it to me. "You're drastically improving, Shiro-san!" he assured me quickly when I looked like I was really going to cry (Why so stupid?). "Don't give up now."

Feeling like poop, I raised my head and couldn't help but ask, "Why bother with me? I lied to you. I can't play, I'm really dumb, I don't belong here in America, and it's because my dad has to work here and my mom would like it if I picked up some English like a smart Japanese little girl—"

"Whoa, life story," Kagami remarked, earning a jab from Himuro.

"Hey, Shiro-san! You're not dumb, first off!" He grabbed my shoulders. "Look at me."

I covered my entire face, hiding in my white bangs. At the time, my hair was to my shoulders, wavy and white, barely able to be tied up. Somehow, Himuro knew how to tie hair, and he noticed my wrists as I tried to wipe the baby tears away. He gently took my hands and pulled out the band on my wrist, walking behind me and threading his fingers tenderly into my hair.

"Wh— what are you doing?" I hiccuped.

"Oh, why are you crying now?" Himuro asked in surprise, his fingers pausing before gathering as much of my hair as possible.

"I don't know..." I felt my bangs being pulled back, some falling back into place for being too short. The hair at the sides of my ears refused to be tied either, and tickled my face as a random draft blew.

Kagami awkwardly stood before me at a distance, pacing slightly, staring at his feet, and looking guilty. I bit my lip, being the one who felt guilty. But then, his head flew up and his fiery eyes shot at my direction, startling me.

"Ah—" I tried to step back, feeling Himuro's hands leave my hair, but I stumbled forward instead. Feeling my hair, I was surprised to feel a pigtail in the back.

"So cute," I heard Himuro muse behind me, but I ignored that for a second. That was smart, otherwise I would've been a hot tomato mess after being flattered by a boy for the first time.

"Yukishiro Mitsu, was it?" Kagami questioned, pointing at me. I felt trapped for some reason, as I stiffened.

"Y-Yes! Wait?"

He practically stomped towards me (at least, that's what it looked like to me at the time), almost scrutinizing me when he eyed me critically. I felt so exposed and nervous. Did my hair look strange to him?

"Do you think," he began, "that you can just give up and run away, after trying only three times? Don't give me that crap! Try again! You were pretty close at that last shot, which was better than my third shot! Which I don't really remember but who cares!"

I blinked, tears dried.

"We won't let you leave until you either get one in or call the cops!"

I don't know what I was thinking at that moment. Maybe I wasn't thinking at all, which would explain why I uncharacteristically laughed at him. Perhaps it was his expression, or the way he said those words, or both. But I still laughed, earned two astonished looks, and I think I said this:

"I won't call the cops."

I know. I was so cool!

By the sixth try, I got the ball in the basketball hoop. After that, it was back and forth, getting it in and failing.

Overall, I had fun with the two. The next day, I found them playing after school and they spotted me again. It was another round of learning basketball for me then.

In the middle of my third grade school year, I was moved to a different class, with Kagami-kun in it. After school, we'd play basketball and do our homework at each other's houses (focusing on our English most). I once saw him cook with his dad, and he was a natural! It made me smile whenever I met up with him—Himuro-kun too.

Himuro-kun, Kagami-kun and I familiarized with each other and became great friends for what seemed like forever. Basketball connected us together, and that's why I played every day with them, to thank it. Besides that, it was fun, entertaining, and gave me a chance to see them smile radiantly each day. They were like bright flames, lighting each other up, and lifting their abilities higher and higher. And they brought me up with them to the wondrous burning feeling.

Of course, the first few times made my muscles ache!

It was cool, especially when I was close with them enough to call them "Tai-kun" and "Tatsu-kun." Cheesy, I know, but they called me "Mit-san" and "Tsu." I occasionally get the "Oven Mitt" nickname, but that was better than calling me a Japanese character.

If you thought that was lame, well, this isn't. Kagami told us that he knew this WNBA player, and after a lot of convincing, we got that woman to teach us basketball! He didn't tell us that she was retired though. But she was still young, and kicked... butt! Her name was Alexandra Garcia. We stubborn kids annoyed her though. But later on, she liked us and loved teaching us, though— how to explain.

She didn't hesitate to kiss me because she was a crazy American. But that was not normal... I thought? Well, from the "Garcia," she was probably even a bit Spanish in a way, but she certainly didn't look it, with her blonde hair and blue eyes. Spanish people were crazy. Okay. I see where this is going, and I'll let myself out.

I was relieved that she could speak Japanese though! It wasn't too fluent, but it was better than many people (because she nailed the Japanese accent).

When we went out for ice cream one time, I remember Himuro held my hand and slipped a ring on one of my fingers. Kagami dropped a chain on my head. "Happy birthday," was what he told me with a grin.

I laughed, "It's not my birthday though."

"Surprise, it is," he laughed back.

I took the chain off my head because it was starting to fall, and examined it. It looked exactly like the one they wore. The ring was a little different, but it was so big on my finger. My fingers were slender compared to the boys', but they probably didn't want to make it too small. Or maybe they wanted me to grow into it when I got older.

Whichever the case, I pulled off the ring from my finger and slid it on the chain, with Himuro snapping it on behind my neck. My hair grew to my chest, so I had to pull it to the side. "Now we're all like siblings, right?" he asked.

Kagami shrugged. "Tsu is like a little sister to me," he said. "By the way, you're getting better at your basketball Tsu."

"Really? Thanks!"

"You're definitely getting better," Himuro agreed, patting my head.

I thought that the happiness would just get better and better in America.

Himuro had to go to middle school, and life just got a teensy bit majorly less exciting for Kagami-kun and I. We still played without Himuro, and didn't see him for the entire fifth grade too. It was like a rainbow without all of the colors, or a half-painted picture. It wasn't complete.

But Kagami just kept going. He wasn't the kind to be hung up on something he knew shouldn't be thought of much. I felt bad though.

As fate would have it, when I least expected it, my parents told me some "good" news. I was going back to Japan when I would turn twelve.

I couldn't tell Kagami. It was just something that I couldn't do. I'd feel too bad, as I knew he was tough at heart but not that tough. It was a gut feeling, a belief born out of catching glimpses of a downcast and the occasional out-of-the-blue miff, but I came to think that Kagami was hurting more than me with Himuro slowly becoming more distant, and me becoming less happy as well from it.

The skies suddenly seemed gray.

I was only eleven at the time, but the feelings weren't any less real, any less painful. I remember thinking way too much about how to tell Kagami, being the overthinking fur-ball I was, to the point where I didn't eat as much or sleep with many good dreams. It felt like I'd been plagued.

When we entered our first year of middle school, the question would cross my mind each day. When I said in my mind I'd tell him, my mouth would stay shut.

But, it wasn't like I lost touch with Himuro. We still found time to talk over the phone, meet at most twice a month, and catch up. But the strong bond we had, that sibling-like bond, was slipping away.

This was supposed to be a secret I'd hold from you until later, but at one point we liked each other. But I think about it now and it's really ridiculous... middle school love never goes well. We knew that. That's why we didn't do anything to further our friendship.

But actually, it was also because Himuro told me that he sensed Kagami liked me. I didn't believe it then, but when I look back at it now, it doesn't seem so farfetched.

I still played with Kagami, and we'd go to the street court to practice several times a week. Then, I realized something for a moment— he was getting stronger. He surpassed Himuro. Speaking of him, I finally saw him again in his second year, with his own street ball team.

Kagami and I were taken by surprise when this boy asked him to play against them with his own team. Because we didn't know Himuro was there yet, Kagami accepted, since the boy mentioned that they were a great team. I was hardly surprised, since Kagami liked to be challenged and practice with teams (even though he had a tendency to be dominant offense, as if he thought he could beat his opposing team solo).

Kagami's team won against Himuro's that day. He won for the first time against him. Himuro, being a good sport, was congratulating him.

That was all I saw last of them and their basketball games, before my parents told me that I was leaving a week after that instead of when school was over. The shock was evident in my tear stains on my bed that night. I knew it was then or never would I break the news to the two best friends I made over the adventure in America that I never thought I'd enjoy, but still. It felt too overwhelming, something I couldn't do, especially to Kagami. I'd spent so much time with him, only to seem like it'd eventually mean nothing.

Over the phone, I broke the news to Himuro. He asked me why I hadn't mentioned anything sooner, since I confessed to him that I'd known for a while. But he understood as soon as he asked, and tried to comfort me with a promise.

"We'll see each other again," he had said. I let myself cry after hearing that. "And when we do, let's go get ice cream and talk, like we usually do. I honestly miss the sakura and green tea-flavored soft-serves that they'd sell in those towering layers."

His voice was soft, calm, and mature. I just sniffed and let out ugly sobs, not wanting to leave him and regretting not spending enough time with him. "S-So," I barely let out, faking a laugh, "you're coming to Japan?"

"I'm coming wherever you are, Mit-san! I swear to it," he promised. Swore on it. "If we're much older by then, maybe in high school or college, I want be there to protect you and never let you cry over these hard decisions again."

"You... you don't mean that... it's impossible, Tatsu-san."

"It's not," he insisted.

"It is," I insisted back.

Himuro paused. I thought he hung up for a second, and was about to let out a cry, when he abruptly asked, "Did you tell Taiga?"

The words were stuck in my throat, but that was enough for an answer to him. He sighed, "Mit-san."

"I don't— I can't—"

"Mit-san."

"Tatsuya! I— do you realize how hard this is for me?" I wailed, running a shaky hand through my bangs. "Do you realize how hard it'd be for Tai-kun to get over it? He never got over you being distant, even though he says he has, but I know him! He's strong, but not emotionally, and—"

"Mit-san."

I fell silent, having heard my name three times by such a calming voice. I could feel his smile, his patient and reassuring smile... but it was also pained.

"Taiga is the stubbornest, more headstrong person we both know. When he gets older, he'll mature and understand your side of things if he can't now. The two of you won't lose touch just from this. You guys have spent some close years with each other, am I wrong?"

I sniffed and nodded. Even though Himuro couldn't see him, it seemed like he acknowledged my nod.

"The news is shaking me too, Mit-san," he told me. "But I'll be okay. I promise, we'll see each other again. I can't let go of someone as unique and charming as Yukishiro Mitsu, my little white flower."

My face felt hot in embarrassment. "Th— that's cheesy, Tatsu-san..."

He chuckled slightly. "Smile for me, okay?" he whispered. It melted my heart. At least, I knew that telling Himuro wasn't regretful in the slightest.

As I waited for my flight, my mother handed me her phone, saying that it was from Kagami Taiga.

"Why didn't you tell me? Tatsuya had to. You told him, but why didn't you tell me?"

I felt his emotions laid out very clearly. He was heartbroken at this, and my very being shook at this. I'd completely forgotten to tell him, after telling Himuro. It slipped past my mind, and right then it came to haunt me.

My throat felt constricted. I couldn't breathe. So I managed to reply to him quietly, as if any louder I'd break, "Because I didn't know how."

"What do you mean?" he demanded.

"I— Tai-kun, I'm so sorry, but I have to go to my flight now—"

"You can't just leave this conversation Tsu! You can't just leave us, you— you can't just leave me! I hate you!" He was senselessly angry and confused, as if he didn't know what to do or say properly at the moment. I felt his pain for him, dare I say just as intensely as he did. I was trembling. Not in fear, but I just felt so bad for Kagami. It wasn't like I was trying to pity him, because Kagami didn't like to be pitied. I just couldn't help it.

Taking deep breaths, I sniffed. I didn't realize it at first, but I was crying. My sight blurred, the memories of my time in America like bullets to my chest, barely allowing me to take any air in. "Tai-kun, I'm so sorry," I wept. "You know I am. I didn't ask for it to be like this..."

He kept repeating that he hated me, and I didn't take it to heart because I knew him well enough to remind myself he didn't mean it. But it still hurt.

My breathing was ragged, and my mind was spinning, the tears still falling down my cheeks. My mother, alarmed, nearly took the phone away but I held onto it tightly. I felt like that would be my last conversation with him, at least, for a very long time. Kagami would be too hurt to speak to me for a while, I knew.

"I love you and Tatsuya. I won't forget you," I said in English. Then in Japanese, I continued, "We'll see each other again, and play basketball first thing. Okay...?"

Kagami was quiet. After a moment's paise, he answered achingly, "That's impossible—"

"No, Tai-kun, don't say that! Please. We will see each other again. I'll visit you, or you visit me, and we'll continue to study English, go out for ice cream, and— and— listen." I whispered something, something only he could hear if the receiver's connection and quality allowed it, and he said nothing.

Before he could speak, I hung up, boarding my flight to Japan.

Originally Written On: December 3, 2014

Rewritten On: October 5, 2016