This will be the same story as "Everything's Back to Normal" but from Walt's perspective. There were a few times when writing that story that I wanted to show different conversations with Walt and other people and I couldn't do it from Vic's perspective. You'll get one chapter a day until it's done, it should finish right before Christmas! :) I appreciate all the love from the other story, so I hope you like seeing Walt's side just as much. Enjoy!

I'm sitting on my porch drinking a cup of coffee on a Monday morning. It's just starting to get light out.

It's been about two months since Barlow died, two months since I found out that he was the one behind Martha's murder. I still don't really know what to say about all of that. But I've been trying to talk more about my feelings and what's going on in my head. Cady says I need to work on that.

I'm taking it day by day.

Branch is taking it day by day, too. I won't let him come back on duty yet. It was a mistake letting him come back so early last time, I understand that now and I won't make the same mistake twice. I disagree with Branch on almost everything, but I feel like I have to look out for him now. Barlow is gone and he has nobody. I'm making him see a therapist at the hospital twice a week, and he comes in every few days to cover dispatch for a while. He begged me to let him come in and do something, he said he was going stir crazy sitting at home. I think he's just lonely.

I know the feeling.

The year that passed after Martha died was a lonely year, even though I was surrounded by people who cared about me. It's not that I didn't know that people were worried, it's just that I couldn't bring myself to deal with it. I know that's not an excuse, but I dealt with her death the only way I knew how. I honored Martha's last wish by not telling our daughter what happened, even though I knew Cady would never fully agree with our decision. After finally spreading Martha's ashes, I was able to start moving on mentally. Though, I still can't pull myself to put any tea back in that box.

I'm not the only one's who's moving on in Absaroka County. Vic's husband left for his new job in Australia shortly after Barlow died. She still lives in their house. I overheard Ferg ask her once why she didn't just move into some place smaller, but she didn't really have an answer for him. Ferg may not get it, but I do. I understand not wanting to leave your home. Even though she and Sean didn't exactly end on good terms, she still has a history with him and to that house. I'm not sure I would leave if I were in her shoes either.

Vic doesn't talk about Sean anymore. She was pretty quiet at first after he left, but feisty Vic started to come back slowly. She jokes around like she used to, just not as often. I hope she's happy that she decided to stay here.

I still can't believe that I told her stay. I wanted her to stay, of course… I'm just not sure that it's okay for me to want her to stay.

I've been feeling like that a lot lately.