A/N: I know Lelouch's birthday is this Friday, but I wanted to post this earlier so that everyone could have some time to find it and then read it on the proper day. Happy birthday, my Lovely Lamperouge!
THANK YOU
"What were his last words?"
C.C. intently stared at the blanket-covered mound as she waited for his answer. Silence reigned over the room for a long time until she heard a quiet, "Thank you."
"Those were his last words to me. Thank you."
She nodded. It sounded like something he would say, what with the romantic he had been. She sat still in the chair besides his bed, her feet barely brushing the richly carpeted floor. Thank you, huh? Turning the words over in her mind, she tried to shrug it off - so what if he had said thank you to him? She had already gotten her thank you from him, so there was no need to feel so upset. Besides, they were just a few silly word, absolutely nothing compared to the time she had spent with him.
He'd laugh at her for being so unlike herself. He would snicker before teasing her, asking when the witch had become a naive teenage girl. And that was what hurt the most. She liked his laugh and she liked his smile. Not the evil smirk the demon wore, not the plastic grin that the student wore. She didn't like those, but she liked seeing that smile he always had whenever he spent time with Nunnally, whenever she made a quip that he found funny and agreed with. His eyes would light up, and he looked so much younger and so unburdened, so happy, whenever the corners of his lips twitched in a genuine smile.
But it had been quite some time since she had last seen it, and she no longer desired to think about it because whenever she did, the pang in her chest was inevitable. Her stomach dropped as it always did whenever she thought of him, and a mysterious feeling that Suzaku had called "heartsick" washed over her, wave, after wave, after wave of pure, unadulterated grief and longing.
It was time to go, she decided, before Pandora's box was opened. She had already risked too much by raising the forbidden subject with him. Stifling the urge to sigh, she rose to leave the room, when he suddenly asked, "What were your last few words?"
Suzaku had been wondering for a long, long time what had happened that morning behind those closed doors just before they left the imperial palace for the last and final time. C.C. was supposed to go with them, but when Lelouch had come out of the room, he had only shook his head and walked away without so much as a backwards glance. During the short ride from the designated start of the Emperor's procession, the Knight had carefully studied his Emperor's face, searching for any fissures in his determined mask.
He found none save for one - his gaze. His eyes couldn't hide the pain, couldn't hide how much it tortured him to leave her behind, and all was revealed about his one and only regret. Suzaku had warned him that the pain was going to be more and more unbearable, that he'd waver, the more and more he indulged in his heart. But Lelouch was stubborn and had refused to heed his cautioning, and so Suzaku scoured, watched, and burned the image of the hidden fiery tempest into his mind so that he would never forget just what he was stealing from this man.
But what of the other half? What of the Witch? Her partner had let slip his true emotions during his last few minutes, but she had not. He knew how the Requiem pained her - hell, it probably hurt her as much as it did him, just in a different way, for a different reason. But she was reserved, quietly licking her wounds while Suzaku howled and lashed out. If not for the way she looked off into the distance, lost in thought, and the way she always seemed to be looking for someone, he would never have guessed that she had been affected by his death.
Suzaku stirred as he buried his face into his pillow, trying to drown out his dark thoughts. It wasn't as if she would answer him - whenever he asked her questions that probed into her personal life, her emotions and her past, she usually pushed him away. Not always, but rarely did she ever answer anything that he asked her, and whenever she was in a good mood - which was once in a blue moon after he had died - her replies were so cryptic, it made him regret asking her in the first place.
She had probably left the room. After centuries of living with her, of traveling with her all over the world, he had discovered some of her quirks and habits, along with a few of her talents, one of which was walking without a sound. He thought she had left. That's what it sounded like. So when she spoke, it surprised him.
"He…"
Suzaku blinked. Her voice sounded different. He had never heard her like this. Her voice, which was usually so cool and emotionless, was thick, almost as if… Almost as if she were on the verge of tears.
"He… Said plenty. More than I wished to hear. He just kept talking, and talking. As if his words could change anything. And there were all of these… Apologies. He kept apologizing, for everything, for running out of time, for having to sacrifice me, for not being able to properly keep his promise. He kept apologizing, even when I tried to walk away. He just grabbed my wrist then, and wouldn't let me leave, and forced me to listen to all of these apologies that just kept pouring out of his mouth and then he…"
C.C. tilted her head up towards the high-vaulted ceiling. Eyes glistening, she bit her lip. She wouldn't cry. She refused to cry. She had come this far and this long without crying, without cracking, and she wasn't going to burst into tears now, especially in front of Suzaku. She wasn't going to cry. She wouldn't be like those melodramatic mortals, crying over every death, over every goodbye, because she was better than that. She knew better than that. But the tears spilled over anyway and before she could stop them, they were streaming down her cheeks and burning her with white-hot grief.
And then she heard the sheets rustling before a warm, dry hand grasped hers in a firm grip. She clenched her teeth, ashamed of being so weak and vulnerable in front of him, but nevertheless let him pull her in.
It was some time before any of them found the courage to speak.
"That was the only way."
"It was the only way," he quietly reassured her. "The last and only card he had left of his hand."
She was silent and he carefully brushed her hair away from her closed eyes.
"But that doesn't mean it was the card he wanted to play. He had qualms about going down the rest of that path. The greatest being you. He hated the thought of leaving you behind. He never said it, but I could see it in his eyes how leaving you behind was his one and only regret."
"… Do you think we'll meet him again?"
She sounded hesitant, but he knew that she had been wondering this for a long, long time. He himself had been.
"Yes."
"But he won't recognize us."
"Probably not," he mused.
"But in the end, he'll know again."
"Of course."
She rolled over onto her back. Suzaku watched as her mask of ice shattered and she smiled.
"I've gone soft, haven't I? Weak, and lost."
"You have," he replied matter-of-factly. "But you'll always be a witch. That will never change."
"That's right. I'll always be a witch. I'm C.C. after all, aren't I?"
"That's right."
She leaned into him and he let her in just this once.
"Thank you," she whispered.
He said nothing, just like the time he had thanked him all of those years ago.
. . .
"Oh hell, I'm so sorry."
C.C. bent down to collect the giant mess of papers that had been knocked out of her arms and scattered to heaven and hell. At least it hadn't been pizza, she reasoned. Her research paper, fine, she didn't care, but pizza? Knocking pizza out of her hands warranted death, was complete suicide. But it had only been a term paper, so it was alright. There was no need for vengeance.
"It's fine."
"No, it's not fine, I should've been watching where I was going. I'm sorry, I—"
"It's really fine. I don't have to be anywhere right now, and these papers aren't even important. It's not a big…"
C.C. stared, stunned and speechless. She stared at the messy, windblown crown of raven hair, stared at the familiar curve of his frown and the memorable crinkle between his brows she had never forgotten even with all of this time, and she stared at the wild violet gaze that refused to be tamed by his scholarly glasses. She vaguely heard him apologize a third time but she was too bewitched to answer. Her unblinking scrutiny must've unnerved him because he ran a hand through his hair before sheepishly grinning and asking, "Is there anything I can do to make up for this?"
His voice was exactly as she remembered it. In all her years, C.C. couldn't think of one single moment where she had been more surprised.
"Nothing? I could speak to whatever professor you're going to turn this into if you'd like. I'm sure they'd understa—"
"Your name."
He was startled. She could see it in his eyes. But he also looked relieved to be able to get off so easily for causing so much chaos - almost as if something like this happened on a daily basis. The corners of her lips quirked up into a nostalgic smile. Always the troublemaker, huh?
"Julius. It's a pleasure to meet you…?"
"Cera."
"Cera. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Cera. If you don't mind my asking, is Cera spelled like the name of the Duchess of Marlborough, or Cera spelled like the Grey Empress?"
"The Grey Empress."
"Unique," he smiled, "and just as mysterious as the 99th Emperor's consort."
He handed her the rest of her papers before helping her up.
"Well, it was nice to meet you, Cera. I'd like to stay and chat longer, but unfortunately, my cat just ran off with my thesis that I need to turn in this afternoon."
"I'm sorry to hear that your thesis was kidnapped. Although your cat's pretty clever for choosing that one paper out of so many and running off with it."
"Ah, well, Arthur has a knack for running off with something important. All I can do now is chase after him. Hopefully, we can meet in the future under more pleasant circumstances."
Waving, he was about to jog off, when she called after him.
"Julius!"
"Hmm?"
"Happy birthday."
She had managed to surprise one more time, it seemed, because his eyes widened. But he smiled soon after and thanked her before running off in pursuit of his thesis and his dastardly cat. As he became smaller and smaller and smaller, C.C. looked after him until he rounded a bend and could no longer see him. Turning, she was about to walk away from their fateful meeting, when she spotted a thick and battered journal lying on the ground. Picking it up, she flipped the cover open.
"The date was August 10 in the year 2010 of the Imperial Calendar. The Holy Britannian Empire had just declared war upon Japan. The Far East island nation had held fast to its neutrality, and now Britannia looms as the world's only superpower. Rights to Japan's underground resources…"
She skimmed through the rest of the first page of neat script, her smile growing wider and wider. What was this? Some piece of historical fiction based off of Lelouch vi Britannia?
She felt someone come up from behind her and she closed the book so that he wouldn't be able to read over her shoulder.
"What's that book?"
"Just a gift I picked up from an old friend of ours."
"An old friend?"
She only gave him a mysterious smile in answer to his raised eyebrow before grabbing his arm and pulling him down the busy corridor.
"Come on, Suzaku. We're going to be late to class if you keep loafing around in the hallways."
"Whose idea was it to go to college anyway?" he muttered. "I don't even understand where you got the crazy idea."
"You never got a chance, and neither did I. Besides. I thought I'd find him here."
"Here? In this one university, out of the thousands in the world, you thought you'd find him here among the thousands of students here."
"But I did. I finally found him."
"What?"
"I'll tell you later."
"C.C., you can't bring something up like that and then not discuss it!"
"Hey, do you think the cafeteria will be serving pizza today, Suzaku?"
"C.C.!"
"I hope they are… But if they aren't, then that's alright too since I have you."
"I think I'm starting to understand why Lelouch always hid his credit cards," he muttered. Although she heard him, she decided to let his little comment pass for now and tugged on the sleeve of his sweater.
"I think the Christmas special began yesterday…"
"C.C., I'm warning you, we can't afford Pizza Hut on our budget."
"Which means the raffle for the special edition Santa Cheese began!"
"You're not listening to me, are you?"
"What was that?"
He groaned but let himself be pulled along. Patience would reward him, as he had learned in the past; besides, they really were late to class, and Suzaku hated being tardy. Too many eyes were on him whenever he came in late. As they walked down the hall together, he asked her, "You're really going to tell me later, right?"
"We'll see."
"C.C., I'm warning you…"
"You know, Suzaku, I've been thinking… Do you think Julius will have pizza at his birthday party?"
"Is that his name? Julius?"
"What do you say, Suzaku? Want to crash a party? I know you're not doing anything tonight, Mr. I'm-too-angsty-to-make-any-friends."
Suzaku silently stewed and they wordlessly walked down the rest of the hallway. C.C. quietly hummed to herself, happy to finally have found him at last. Just as they turned the corner, she heard a quiet, "Is it really him?"
"Do you really think I wouldn't be able to recognize my own husband?"
"Well, there have been a few false alarms…"
"It's him," she said firmly. "It's really him. It's even his birthday today."
Suzaku let out a huff of disbelief as she looked up at him with the most serious gaze he had ever seen her wear.
"It's really him," he intoned.
She glared at him, already impatient with him.
"You can judge for yourself tonight, when you go to his party with me."
"You can't be serious."
"Oh, but I am. I thought you'd want to meet him."
"C.C., we don't even know him, we can't just show up at his party. How do we even know if he's having a party or not?"
"Oh, I'm sure a lady-killer like Julius would have plenty of girl-friends to plan a surprise party for him. And what are you talking about? We've known him all his life. We've known him during all his lives. You're his best friend. I'm his wife. We're more than qualified to spend time with him on his birthday. I'm going to wish him a happy birthday just like I used to back then, and I'm going to do it with or without you. Now are you going to come or not?"
"… I suppose so," he mumbled.
She smiled. "Good. Besides, I know you want to see him too."
He nodded. There was no denying that. Ever since the first time they had run into him, or a look-alike, he began waiting for the day where he would be able to be with his friend again, to make amends, to heal his wounds, to smile and laugh again. And it seemed the day had finally come after centuries of waiting.
"Smile, Suzaku. You're supposed to be happy. We've found your best friend, after all."
"Yeah."
Suzaku fell behind, watching C.C. as she went ahead of him. A slender hand trailed along besides her, collecting soft, cold powder in her palm. The manicured fingers eventually emptied itself to lightly press against her rosy cheeks. She smiled to herself. Probably thinking about Lelouch, he guessed. Or Julius, or whatever his name was in this lifetime. But no matter what she was thinking about, her smile made him smile. Sure, he and the Witch had their differences and inevitably argued, but over the years, he started to trust in her without reserve and cared for her just as he had cared for Lelouch or Nunnally or any of his friends from his first life. And he was glad to see her smile after so many years of frowning, tears, and the worst, the indifferent mask.
It was ironic how he had given them these invaluable gifts, when it was his birthday and not theirs. But then again, Lelouch had always been like that. Even with his cold, and at times rough, exterior, he had a habit of giving presents, whether it was intentional or not on his part. And he always seemed to know what it was that the person needed most. Well, it was going to be his turn now. He was going to repay his debt in this life. Starting with today.
Looking out the window and up to the sky, Suzaku genuinely smiled for the first time in centuries. Closing his eyes, he felt the soft snow brushing against his face, felt the cold air rushing in and out of his lungs, and felt grateful to be alive. They had found him. At last, they had found him, and what more, they had found him leading a happy, carefree life. He breathed in deeply - it was a special day today. It was a new beginning of a new era, an era in which everything would be better. He would see better, hear better, taste better, laugh louder, and smile wider. Him included. If not in that lifetime, then in this one, certainly. He would make sure of it.
"Suzaku! What are you doing, you clown?"
"I'm coming."
"Geez, you're so out of it today."
"I'm just glad to see you smiling," he replied. Enveloping her in a warm hug, he said, "I'm just glad to be here."
"Yeah."
"Let's do better this time, C2."
"Of course. There's me after all, isn't there?"
He softly smiled.
"Yeah. There's you. There was always you."
Happy birthday, Lelouch.
And thank you.
For this.
For a second chance.
Thank you.