Life Ever After

One year later…

The nights held such majesty for those who gaze upon its wonders with open eyes. Whether man or beast or something in-between, midnight was an hour of awakening, of new beginnings. When the sun set and darkness reigned upon the land, why fear the shadows when they were meant to be embraced? The moon gave illumination, the stars aiding when the new moon was out, offering some measure of light, unlike the black void the blind were condemned to tread. And yet, many feared. Dark. Gloomy. Sounds unnamed, hidden by shadows.

But then, only prey fled the dark, and well they should, for the night was the kingdom for predators. Carnivores, creatures with sharp fangs, dagger-like claws, and a thirst for fresh meat. However, there were worse things that walked the night than any animal. Mortals used to flee in fear of these demons, but now, in this modern era, those very monsters were nothing but legends.

Horror movies depicted them as beasts who fed on human blood, killing, massacring entire towns. Until recently, that was. In these modern times, such monsters were romanticized, envied for their longevity, and sexual icons.

Foolish humans.

Or…were they?

If they are foolish, than so am I, he thought.

A man stood alone in the very center of a field, upon his very own property out back, gazing up at the night sky, deep in contemplation. He wore black, which would have successfully hid his tall, muscular frame had it not been for the moonlike silken sheen of his hair that tantalized moonbeams to caress the long mass, causing it to shine with a vibrant light all its own—as if it were alive. More alive than he, in any case.

The barely there wind played across his exposed flesh; the backs of his hands, across his face, while dueling with the moonlight to pay homage to that sleek waterfall of hair he had free down his back.

He ignored everything around him. He paid no attention to the whispery wind, the majesty of the starry sky one could never see such brilliance in the city, while his eyes saw not the grass beneath his feet, nor the forest farther out, circling his home in a protective shroud, nor hear the night creatures and bugs that sang throughout the night.

He was blind and deaf to the world around him. All his attention was focused inward were his thoughts darkened his mood more surely than the night of a new moon was capable of bringing to the world.

Humans were foolish in their desires but once, he too was human, yet still he held those foolish desires within a heart that had ceased to beat centuries ago.

He did not crave life ever after. He'd lived it—still did. A life without purpose, without the touch of another, but above all else was the knowledge that he was an abomination. What was eternity when happiness was forever out of his grasp? What then should he live for? Nothing…

And yet fear held him bound to this world. Though he was surely dead, he feared true death, never to rise again. It was the unknown that made even a monster tremble in terror, for where did one such as he go when the sands of time stopped for even a creature who could live for millennia?

Damnation—if one believed in heaven and hell.

He was not so sure, feared the answer, for he could not tread upon holy ground, holy water burned his flesh like acid, and the cross repelled him. Was it because God existed and shunned him? Or was it human belief, a faith so strong that repelled the monster inside him?

The lone man lifted his hand from his side, and turned his gaze to his palm. So pale was his flesh as he had not seen the light of day in what seemed like forever. Where blunt nails should have been, deadly claws grew.

He was…an abomination.

And he'd damned an innocent girl to this half-life. An image of the girl in question flashed before his mind's eye, causing him to flinch as if struck by a physical blow. He shook his head sharply, silver locks of his hair cascading over his broad shoulders. He clenched his fist, even his eyes closed tightly as if in denial of that painful truth.

It was now exactly one year since that fateful night; the anniversary of his precious girl's transformation. It was not a night for celebration. Only pain and grief.

If there was a God, heaven, and hell than he was the cause of those pearly gates forever being closed to one so innocent. No, he had not been the one to change her, thought the dark desire had been there no matter how he tried to deny it, but it was because he'd interfered with her life, taken her in and put her in danger that had caused an angel to fall from grace.

He'd wanted only to protect her, to love her. Foolish thoughts.

"I am a fool," he murmured into the wind that had picked up slightly.

"Sesshomaru…"

She called to him softly, sweetly. There was sadness in that small voice. The sound of her voice caused him to stiffen. So lost in his own recriminations, Sesshomaru had not noticed her silent approach.

"You learn quickly," he replied without turning to face her. He referenced her silent approach, trying to give himself a few extra seconds to gather himself before facing her.

"I have a great teacher." He could hear the smile in her voice.

It was blasphemy. Why should she smile when some of the lessons he'd taught her were bloody? In fact, the very first thing he'd been forced to teach her was how to feed upon humans without killing them, to take control of their minds so they did not panic and scream and draw attention to the monsters that bled their necks.

"It's… It's my birthday tonight, right?" she asked when the silence between them stretched awkwardly. And still he had yet to turn around and face Kagome.

Could he? The weight of what she had become seemed immense on this anniversary night.

"No—" he choked out, the sounds strangled even to his own ears. Sesshomaru cleared his throat before continuing more strongly, though his words were no more than a rough whisper. "No, Kagome. This is not a night of celebration. The date of your birth was not a year ago but—"

"I know when I was born, Sesshomaru," she cut in, and did he hear exasperation in her voice? He stiffened at her tone. "But that was when I was human. That was my old life. This is my—"

"Damnation," he supplied.

"Salvation," she corrected.

Surprise and disbelieve had him turning around so fast his hair swung around like a whip. Wide eyed, he stared down at the woman who stood less than a dozen feet from him.

Eyes once a chocolate brown were amber, just like his own, the pupil no more than a slit. He missed falling into those human eyes, but he loved her no less now than when she had been mortal. And though she was stronger, faster after becoming one of the undead, Kagome was delicate, fragile looking.

A fallen angel.

She must've seen the agony in his eyes he'd been trying to hide, for her own softened. Kagome stepped closer, and he did not stop her when her small hand laced with his.

"You've been carrying a terrible burden needlessly," she murmured. Her thumb rubbed against the back of his hand. "It's not your fault."

"How can you say that?" he rasped. "It's because of…" Emotion tightened his throat, forcing him to pause.

"You saved me." Kagome's voice was strong, filled with conviction. An obvious contrast compared to the weak puffs of air he'd managed to put behind his own words.

"My very presence in your life damned you."

"You can't mean that…"

"I do."

Anger filled her beautiful face, making her look like an avenging angel. "Then I would be dead! Not just because what happened a year ago, but that accident that robbed me of my parents. If you hadn't been there to take me to a hospital when you did, I would have bled out before the ambulance arrived. Do you really regret being in my life? Do you?!" Kagome all but screamed the last part, her voice rising with emotion as she'd spoken.

"How did you—"

"Of course I know," she interrupted angrily. Her free hand slashed through the air in her agitation as if to swipe away his ignorance. "Well, not at first anyway," she amended. "I mean, I remember flashes of that night. I remember your face and your strong arms around me, carrying me to safety. I wasn't sure if it had been a wishful thinking or not, but it wasn't until after I learned what you are that I knew it wasn't a dream."

"You never said anything."

She shook her head. "Neither did you."

"Kagome…" He squeezed her hand, unsure as to what to say or do. He was lost.

As if reading his mind, she looked down, hiding her face from him when she whispered, "I'm lost without you."

Feeling like a cad for making her cry, scenting the salt and iron of her tears, Sesshomaru tilted her face up with a curled finger under her chin. Vampires cried tears of watered down blood. Those read streaks painted Kagome's pale face, and if he had a heart to break, it would have shattered at the sight of her absolute sorrow.

His fault.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, leaning down to kiss away her tears.

"You should be," she sniffed even as another tear slipped from her eye. He caught it with his tongue. "You wish I were dead. Really dead, I mean."

Sesshomaru jerked back to stare in horror at the desolate look in her eyes.

"No. No!" he denied fiercely, a hiss slithering from between his clenched teeth.

The hand that still held hers jerked back, forcing the small girl before him to collide against his chest. He ignored her surprised exhalation and wrapped his arms around her back, keeping her tight against his body. Between the chill of their bodies, warmth settled in.

"Never say that," he hissed. "Never think it!"

"Why not," Kagome grumbled against his chest even as he felt her arms embrace him. "Saying you should have stayed away meant my death in that accident… and with that horrid monster who created you—us."

"Kagome, that's not what I meant," he denied helplessly, for she was right. Had he not been there, she would have died as a child. "But your change…"

"Wasn't your fault." She was adamant, and tipped her head back to meet his stare. "Nor was it your fault when she changed you."

Sesshomaru flinched.

"You have to stop beating yourself up for events out of your control. It's not your fault."

"I'm a monster."

"Then I am, too."

"No!"

"Yes!" she cried. "Because the weight does not rest fully upon your shoulders now. If you believe you are damned than so am I. You can't have it both ways, Sesshomaru!" Kagome took in a deep, calming breath. "Neither of us chose this life. We don't go out of our way to hurt people or murder like Hanako did. If there is a God—" How had she known about his religious worries? "—than surely He is just and forgiving. I do not believe we are eternally damned if we remember who we were and hold onto our humanity. I need to believe that. I need you to believe that, too."

Sesshomaru curled her hair through his fingers as he grasped the back of her skull. "This is not what I wanted for you. Not truly. You deserve so much more than what the night can offer you."

What I can offer you, he added only in thought, too much the coward to speak so frankly of his feelings in Kagome's hearing. Not when he felt so exposed and vulnerable.

"That's where you're wrong," she insisted gently. She stroked his chest in a soothing manner. "It offers me you."

Her declaration moved him beyond belief. He'd yearned for her while she was still a mortal girl, never hoping to dream that she would be his. But then she had been. Kagome had shared her body with him, given him her trust, and ultimately her heart. All was under his protective keeping. Even now, she offered all that she was to him. A precious gift. One he would treasure because he needed all of her.

"You saved me, too, you know," he told her honestly.

Yes, she'd saved him from frying in the sun a year ago, the day Hanako had turned her into a vampire. After he'd killed the demon and lost consciousness, it had been a surprise to waken once more. He'd found Kagome was alive, or rather undead. And so was he because a fledgling vampire had dug him out of the debris and carried him to safety in the shadows of the crumbling mansion. After returning home with a newly changed Kagome, he'd learned from his housekeeper, Victoria, that her husband Michael was alive, too, and on the mend in the hospital.

For months after that terrible night, he'd been a constant presence around Kagome, making sure she did not kill the humans—Michael's family—accidently, and taught her the ways of the vampire. He'd hated it even while a traitorous part of him was happy. He would not have to lose her to old age…

He saw the knowledge in her eyes, the memory of dragging his unconscious body to safety even while her body tried to adjust to the shock of being less than human. She'd been strong, brave.

"No," he told her with a shake of his head. "That's not what I refer to, though I thank you for that night, as well." He kissed her brow.

"Then what do you mean?" she breathed, melting against him.

"I remember the evening you were born," he replied, "and somehow I knew everything would be different." He cupped her cheek, stroking her soft flesh. "You saved me from a life that had become unbearable just by being you."

Kagome laughed, a small sound, and smiled a soft smile meant for him alone. "I never took you for the romantic type, Sesshomaru."

She was teasing him, he knew.

He hugged her more tightly, basking in her scent. Though different, she was still the same.

"You are mine," he growled.

"Yes, as you are mine," she told him.

Even as they kissed, Sesshomaru knew it would take him a little more time to get over hating himself for the demon he was and for the events leading up to Kagome's change, but she was right. Though love didn't concur all problems and obstacles, it was a start.

"Kagome?"

"Hmm?"

"You need punishment."

She jerked back, or tried to if not for the restraining arms around her back. She stared up at him wide eyed. "What did I do?"

"Oh, let's see. You challenged my authority." He smacked her ass. She yelped, eyes heating in anticipation when she met his gaze again. "Dared to raise your voice to me." Another slap. This time she moaned, a strangled sound of pain and pleasure. "And you interrupted me more than once." He leaned down and nipped the shell of her ear. "Among other affronts."

"Then you should punish me," she dared next to his ear.

His laugh was wicked, the melancholy he'd felt seconds ago melting away in the rise of sexual heat.

"Run." It was a command, a challenge.

"Catch me if you can," she teased. And she was off, using preternatural speeds to gain distance.

His fangs flashed in the night as he grinned. The predator came out to play. He sniffed the air, taking in a huge gulp, before exhaling harshly.

"Mine."

And he took off after her.