My first attempt to write in English so forgive me if there are some mistakes. It's basically a parody of the song "Mother knows best" from Tangled, starring Thorin and Kili.
I own nothing.

Thorin:
You want to go outside? Why, Kili...!
Look at you, as fragile as a toddler
Still a little dwarfling, just a sprout
You know why we stay up in this mountain...

Kili:
I know but...

Thorin:
That's right, to keep you safe and sound, dear
Guess I always knew this day was coming
Knew that soon you'd want to leave the nest
Soon, but not yet.

Kili:
But...

Thorin:
Shh!
Trust me, pet
Uncle knows best
Uncle knows best
Listen to your Uncle
It's a scary world out there
Uncle knows best
One way or another
Something will go wrong, I swear
Spiders, orcs
Poison arrows, trolls and goblins
Elves and Wargs
Tauriel!

Kili:
No!

Thorin:
Yes!

Kili:
But...

Thorin:
Also large bugs
Men with pointy teeth, and
Stop, no more, you'll just upset me
Uncle's right here
Uncle will protect you
Darling, here's what I suggest
Skip the drama
Stay with your uncle
Uncle knows best
Uncle knows best
Take it from your brother
On your own, you won't survive
Sloppy, underdressed
Immature, beardless
Please, they'll eat you up alive
Gullible, naïve
Positively grubby
Ditzy and a bit, well, hmm vague
Plus, I believe
Gettin' kinda chubby
I'm just saying 'cause I wuv you
Uncle understands
Uncle's here to help you
All I have is one request
Kili?

Kili:
Yes?

Thorin:
Don't ever ask to leave the Lonely Mountain again.

Kili:
Yes, Uncle.

Thorin:
I love you very much, dear.

Kili:
I love you more.

Thorin:
I love you most.
Don't forget it
You'll regret it
Uncle knows best

How was it?