Right bitchachas are you reAAADDDdy!

Cant believe you guys are still with me.

We're going to finish this.

Didn't think it was going to happen, but I'm back.

It happens every freaking time. I read the reviews for old times sake and I can't just not continue. Honestly you guys... I'm actually so touched. you are all so awesome.

Im not going to bore with excuses.

Lets frickin end this thing. (Few more to goooo)

Ice Cold

Simon splashed his face once more from the cold stream flowing from the faucet. He drowsily watched the droplets fall from his cheeks in the bleary surface of the mirror, indifferently conceding to himself that no amount of water was going to improve the reflection he saw any.

He was bone-weary, and he sure as hell looked it.

Now, on top of that, the day had finally come where he had to do the thing he had been dreading to do for some time now: he was going back to school.

He and Jace had for once in their lives been united in a cause. They had fought against their return to education for as long as they possibly could. Many an argument had been won until, finally, their ammunition had been depleted. And now, three weeks after they had all flown back to New York, Jace and Simon were irrefutably expected back at Alicante High.

Izzy had only been discharged from hospital care a week ago and had recovery time on her side. Jace had made it one of his conditions upon his return to school that Izzy be allowed with Clary during the day. Not that Mayrse had needed to make the concession; she had threaten to prohibit him from seeing Clary at all, and all but summoned her hospital security team to chuck him out of the building before he finally agreed to go back.

Simon had a feeling that the adults didn't fully understand why they didn't want to go back. It was more than simply making excuses for skipping school, and even more than just wanting to be at the hospital all day for Clary.

By walking into that school alone today, he was being forced to move on. He was scared, terrified, that one day walking in without her would mean the next day he would walk in without her. And then the next day, and the day after that, until it finally fell into a routine. A routine he would eventually become used to. Going to school alone today had become a symbol in his head for leading a life that Clary wasn't a part of. The beginning of an end.

Simon had watched all the fights Jace had gotten into, all the arguments with his parents about the intricacies of what he could and couldn't do, or should and shouldn't do. It was so obvious to him he didn't understand how the adults didn't get it. Simon could see clearly by everything Jace didn't say that he had the same fear.

His mother drove him to school that day - the first of many oddities he was sure he was about to experience. He hadn't had time to deal with the mother-son relationship they had last left so brokenly, for now he was just letting her act as if nothing had happened. Mainly because he didn't have the energy to be angry with her, but also because he knew she had lost a son for two weeks.

The streets he had been walking since he could remember looked foreign to him as he watched them roll by out the window.

It was a short drive, and too quickly was his mom wishing him things he didn't lend an ear to as he stepped out of the car and onto the blackened snow.

I've had just about enough snow for a lifetime he thought gloomily as he trudged his way towards the current of teenagers milling around the front doors, making sure to kick at as much of the offensive substance as he could.

This was it. As he walked through the doors to the generically-tiled hallway he knew so well, he realised that maybe, just maybe, his best friend would never do so again.

Memory of the hope they had all been preaching about in the cave, the hope they had been trying to kindle even in the darkest of moments, flashed through his mind. They were all meant to be going back to school today, not half of them.

Half of them. Simon hung his head, feeling suddenly heavy and ill-stricken. Half of them made it out, but in a way he couldn't help but feel that none of them did.

It didn't take long for people to notice him. The walk to his locker was followed by sharp glances and hushed whispers.

Is that that Simon Lewis guy?

I don't recognise him.

It's Simon!

That's definitely him.

I thought he'd be taller in person.

Does this mean they're back?

He didn't know whether to laugh or sneer. To be honest, he didn't really feel like either.

He was just getting his books out of his locker when a monstrous force crashed into his back, the wind was knocked right out of him and his head banged with an echoing clang into his locker door, sending a loud ringing vibrating through his ears.

Semi convinced he had somehow got into a fight and someone was trying to shove him about, he turned quickly to get a look at his attacker. Only to find the dark mop of hair he instantly recognised as Maia's shoved in his chest as she hugged him brutally.

"Maia!" He tried to say with the enthusiasm that he felt (despite the fact he could hardly hear anything and was sure he had a minor concussion) though any air he'd once had to be able to pronounce the syllables had since vacated, so instead came out as a raspy breath.

She didn't say anything, only clutched harder to him. "Maia, I can't breathe." He joked through a smile as he hugged her back.

It was only after a moment or two Simon found that he actually couldn't breathe. "Seriously Maia, I love you, but pneumonia… not so keen." He wheezed.

She let go and looked up at him through an exuberant grin. Her eyes seemed to focus on his nose and she choked on a laugh, "Your nose is bleeding."

"I have you to thank for that," He said, wiping away the crimson dripping from his nose.

"Well, you deserve it." Maia smiled, not looking sorry at all, "For making me worry."

Simon scoffed indignantly, "Well next time I get trapped inside a glacier in Europe I'll be sure to send you a Hallmark."

Maia smirked. Simon caught Jordan's eye over the top of her head and the boy made his way over.

The Aussie offered a lopsided grin and went in for the fist-bump one-armed-hug man-greeting Simon had seen other boys and men do, but had never learnt himself. The result was some kind of awkward hand-grasping thing that lead to a two armed hug on his part and one of Jordan's hands getting crushed between their bodies.

Before Simon had any time to get embarrassed about it, Jordan laughed, "Glad to see the ice didn't make you any less dysfunctional, Lewis," He joked fondly.

"I didn't know you were back yet, it didn't say anything in the news." Maia said.

Simon rubbed his forehead tiredly, "I'm sorry, I should have called. I just…"

"That's okay. I'm just glad you're back. It hardly says anything new on the news since you were rescued, we didn't even know if you were all unharmed."

Simon winced, deciding to evade the information he probably should tell them for the moment, "Yeah, all the adults have been trying to keep the press away for the moment while we all 'acclimatise'. They're all asking for interviews and statements and stuff, Mom's inbox actually glitched for a day it was so full."

Maia frowned, "Are you going to give them one?"

He sighed, "I don't think we'll really have a choice, now we're at school word is bound to spread, once they find out we're here it'll probably get them off our backs quicker if we just give them what they want."

Maia shook her head as if to say oh well. "So where's Clary? She running late or something?"

Or something, Simon thought derisively.

Before he could finally deliver the news, there was a noticeable ripple in the stream of teenagers flooding the hall. It took Simon the entirety of a second to hone in on the source of the disturbance.

Jace was making his way down the hall, or trying to at least. Every step he took there was another jock or cheerleader or some other person trying to ask him what happened, or welcome back, or was he okay? Simon almost laughed, the juxtaposition between his entrance and Jace's was laughable afterall.

Instead of answering them, Jace looked vacant, even slightly sick. It was alien to see him appear so lost, Simon had definitely seen him look like that in the past weeks but it was weird witnessing it on familiar territory, he couldn't imagine what everyone else made of it. This, of corse, only garnered him more attention.

Jace, Jace!

Are you okay?

We missed you!

What happened?

Dude, you look pasty.

I made a scrapbook of newspaper clippings- here!

We were so worried!

The traffic of well-wishers and nosy-parkers became so dense that it was starting to block the corridor entirely, with Jace in the center and backed into a wall.

The prickled-cherry on top, however, arrived in the form of a honey-blonde, piercing eyed, boob-bearing Kaelie Whitewillow.

"Jace!" She screamed shrilly, not doing any to help Simons recently impaired hearing.

Barging her way through the crowd she flung herself at Jace, wrapping her arms round him tightly. Simon watched as Jace's expressions went from shocked, to flustered, to anxious. Before he had any time to process any more Kaelie had pulled back just far enough to crush her lips to his.

Simon was already there before Jace could push her away.

"Hey!" He yelled, an anger he didn't understand roaring away at him, "Get off him!" He yanked the girl off of Jace with enough force to make her stumble in her heels.

Kaelie had her mouth opened in an insulted manner, "And who the hell are you to tell me what to do?" She spat. "Jace?" She asked, expecting back up.

Jace's expression was neutral, "Stay away from me Kaelie," he said in a low voice.

Kaelie looked shocked, her lips floundering. "What? Why!?" She demanded.

Simon ignored her and addressed the crowd, "Everyone back up! Give the man some space."

Some heeded and stepped back a bit, but most neglected to in favour of watching the ensuing stare-battle between the two exes. Jace's face was still impassive with maybe a hint of anger, while Kaelie's expression seemed to rollercoaster in a myriad of expressions, reading a story on Jace's face that only she could see. It seemed like maybe an age had passed before her lips finally curled into a menacing grin no one could mistake for glee. "It's her isn't it?"

Jace's silence was confirmation enough. There was a confused murmur floating through the crowd.

Her...?

Who?

Jace eyed the girl carefully, "Watch where you tread," he cautioned. His voice was gravelly and even. Simon was watching the tension grow anxiously, possibly the only other person understanding the conversation.

Kaelie's eyes finally landed on Simon and her eyes lit up in assurance. Her expression shifted to one of deviance and her posture straightened out in confidence. "Fine. Have her." She 'allowed', Simon wasn't fooled, "A little birdie told me she doesn't have long left anyways. Just don't come crawling to me when she's ten feet under."

Simon saw red. Literally saw red. He had no control. His legs jerked into motion and he was lunging at her. The audience gasped. A body collided into his and he was slammed into a locker. Jordan's face was in his, his breath harsh and making Simon's glasses fog.

"You don't want to do that Lewis," He warned, eyes darting to the eager crowd, "Calm. Down."

Simon couldn't listen, consumed in rage and fear. He pushed his head round the side of Jordon's frame, "You don't know anything Whitewillow! You shallow, deluded, uneducated swine. I could find something with more compassion on the bottom of my shoe!"

Simon snagged uncontrollably against Jordan, but Jordon shoved him into the locker again, "Not today Lewis! Think!" He hissed at the boy.

Simon swallowed a breath harshly, his first coherent thought to be to look for Jace. His eyes darted frantically for a flash of gold in the sea of students, only to find an apparent pathway had been forcefully made in the crowd leading right up to a pair of slamming doors. He'd gone.

"Lewis!" A commanding voice boomed in the hallway, "With me! Now!"

He hadn't gotten into trouble of corse, having recently undergone 'strenuous times' and all. But the day hadn't gotten any better.

Murmurs and whispers followed him wherever he went. People wanting to know more but to afraid to ask him. Simon couldn't really blame them; he hadn't exactly been exuding approachability - Jace even more so.

Simon had thought the golden-boy had left school that day only to be surprised to see him later in history class, brooding silently in the darkest corner at the back of the room. Then again at lunch, Simon wasn't so shocked to see him sat away from his usual sports-clad wolf pack and on a table by himself. Simon had joined him and they sat in silence for the whole lunch hour, ignoring the curious glances they received. Books lay in front of them but neither read a single word.

It continued much to the same theme for the rest of the week. The school buzzing with gossip and wonder to where the two girls were, wanting to know more, but no one asking either of the boys.

Simon finally worked up the courage to tell Mia about Clary on the Wednesday. She and Jordan had taken the rest of the day off and gone home. The pair joined them at lunch the next day. Nothing was said.

By Friday Simon could feel the pent up tension had reached its peak. Rumours about the absent girls were flying around as fast as it took Kaelie to breathe them. Simon had overheard what he imagined to be just a small portion of them.

I heard they both died, they're just giving the family time to grieve before they announce it.

Really? I heard they're gone because they got some gross frostbite-fungal infection on their face from the cave and they have to get plastic surgery before they come in and frighten everyone.

No, no. It's probably because that Clary-girls dad got taken away by CPS, my friends cousin's mum saw them outside her house the other day. She probably came back and got molested or something.

They were all so wrong Simon thought Alicante's collective IQ brought down the average for the whole city.

He was sat motionless at his desk that morning waiting for a science class to start when his cell rang.

"Izzy?" He asked, reading the phone display.

"Hey Si." She greeted in the same tone everyone used to speak to each other nowadays; forlornly and exhausted.

"What's up?" He asked in a similar tone.

"I don't know…" She breathed, "I'm just tired. And bored… and worried." She paused, "And being tired makes me bored and being bored makes me more worried and being worried makes me more tired."

"I know." Simon said quietly.

He had seen her just last night - like every night - at the hospital, but it had become routine to call and check in every few hours. There was rarely much to say, usually just repeat the worries they had already heard, but talking about it was the only pain relief they could get from this endlessly tiring and painful mess.

There was a long stretch of silence. It was often like that. Calls weren't for talking anymore, they were for company. Simon had noticed how he was struggling to acclimatise to being back home. The only people he could really talk to were Jace and Izzy. Even being alone in the depressive room holding Clary's stone hand was more company than he felt than being at a whole high school full of people. He knew it was probably some psychological bosh from being with only those people for so long, and he knew the others had the same problem. It would all work out when Clary woke up... is what he liked to tell himself.

"Doctor's said they're discharging me tonight." Her voice cut through the silence. "I'm going back to school on Monday."

Simon was shocked, but it was blunted in his constant state of numbness, "Well that's…" He trailed off. What was the word? He knew neither of them thought it was 'good' news; it meant just another milestone had passed without Clary even beginning the journey. "... great news." He ended.

"Mm." Izzy hummed neutrally, equally as detached. "I might come by yours before I go back home if Mum will let me, she's driving me crazy - I could use a break for an hour or two."

"I mean you can if you want but don't you think you should go back home for your first day out of hospital?"

She sighed, sounding put out, "Yeah... I guess." She paused. "How's Jace?" Simon could imagine her idly fumbling with her cotton hospital sheets.

"The same. Doesn't say much, doesn't eat much… doesn't really do much." He answered predictably, "I'm starting to think he's not handling it well. I mean-" he amended, "I think he's starting to handle it… worse. He's not doing well, Iz. He just seems more depressed, more… nothing. It's like he's hollow or something."

"Yeah…" She agreed ruefully, "I've been starting to think that. He looks horrible."

It was true. Jace seemed like a shadow of himself in every sense. The bags under his eyes had gotten so bad a glance might think he'd been beaten up. His hair was a dull sand-colour, matted and dirty. He wore old sweatpants and walked in them heavily, his head always hung low. Gone from being the popular jock he'd swiftly become an unkempt loner, pushing away any of his old friends that reached out to him. Simon was the only person he tolerated.

"Did the police call you today?" She asked, mildly hopefully.

"No…" Simon muttered, "They still haven't found any trace of Clary's dad."

"Mum says if they don't find him soon she's permanently going to be made a ward of the state… unless she's adopted of course." They both already knew this of corse, but they both kept telling each other just in case it suddenly wasn't true, wanting to be stopped or corrected. Clary's recent orphan-hood was yet another thing that constantly hovered on Simon's shoulder.

There was another long pause.

"You know… I think she's starting to look a bit healthier. There's a bit more colour to her cheeks." She said quietly.

"You're with her now?" He asked, Izzy hummed in affirmative. He chuckled, "You're definitely imagining that, Iz. Clary has never had any colour to her; I've always said her hair hoarded it all in the womb." She laughed lightly. "Anyway, I've got to go, I'll see you later tonight. Get some rest."

"Kay, bye Si."

As he walked his way to the gymnasium for the Friday assembly that afternoon, Simon couldn't help but think how pointless making him go to school was. Yet another wave of frustration and resentment at the adults controlling his life washed over him. He wasn't speaking to anyone, he sure as hell wasn't learning anything. Why couldn't he just wait with Izzy until Clary woke up? That's all he wanted. And then he could learn and go to school and all that nonsense.

The gym was packed, the school population exceeding the bleacher capacity years ago. Many sat on the floor or on each others laps. Not arriving first nor last, Simon found a seat on a bench in the front next to Maia and Jordan.

He sat face forward, zoning out the mumbles of the crowd.

"Good afternoon," Was the next thing Simon focused his hearing on. The crowd quietened immediately as Principle Pierce stood at the podium. "I have a rather unfortunate announcement to relay. The kind of announcement no Principle ever wishes to have to deliver to its students, but regretfully it is my duty all the same."

Simon watched with anxious eyes as Principle Pierce re-adjusted his tie theatrically. "We all have heard of Alicante's latest and largest travesty, that involving four of our students, our peers, getting trapped unmercifully by mother nature herself. Trapped in the unforgiving landscape of Iceland's harshest and most brutal glaciers." Simon hung his head as he felt eyes from all directions dig into the back of his skull. Why didn't they tell us they were doing this? "We watched in torment and worry from our screens at home as the story unravelled that these four students -Isabelle Lightwood, Jonathan Lightwood, Clarissa Morgan, and Simon Lewis, - fought bravely and valiantly with nothing but the clothes on their backs, and the wit and intellect Alicante' strives to instill in it's students," Simon felt his cheeks grow raw with rage. If you're going to use us to promote how great the school is, at least get Clary's fucking name right! "And we have seen with our own eyes this past week that two of our peers made it back here safely, but the most perceptive of you might have noticed we are missing a few." He paused and surveyed the crowd suspensefully, slight murmurs issuing from the students. "Well I compunctiously stand before you today to inform that you have not heard the end of the story."

Simon felt his throat constrict. His face grew hot, his eyes lost focus. Maia put a hand on his back, the touch burnt his skin. "For a week we have allowed for two of our students to adjust to life back at Alicante, but now it is time you all know." Simon couldn't breathe. "Isabelle Lightwood didn't make it of of the cave unscathed," Murmurs rippled, Simon didn't notice, "She sustained serious injuries and has been ill in hospital since the initial rescue almost a month ago. However -" He heeded, pausing for effect, "I've been made aware earlier today that she will be released tomorrow and is expected back at school on Monday." There were collective sighs and gasps from various gaggles of girls and boys, from people who knew her and who did not; Isabelle Lightwood was a school legend. "I expect she be treated with care, sensitivity, and sympathy from her peers upon her return. But there is more." He cleared his throat, the school silenced, "Clarissa Morgan did not make it out in one piece either. Her injuries were extensive, more severe than even Miss Isabelle's. It saddens me to say that she has been under comatic-clutches ever since." Gasps, sighs, groans; the hall burst into noise. Other teachers had to interfere to control the nattering teens. "The intricacies of brain trauma are complicated as some of you may know, and there are no further updates to Clarissa's well-being that have been discovered or that I may disclose with you. If you wish to know more I suggest you ask those close to her."

Simon felt fingers pulling and tugging and touching him all over, shocked faces - some genuinely upset, some just morbidly curious - they were all demanding more information but Simon couldn't register a single word. It was all white noise to him. He vaguely noticed Maia telling everyone to back off, enforcing crowd control, but the only thing he could pay attention to was his throat. Closing and caving until it felt like he was sucking air through a straw. His chest burned.

He lashed out, fighting his way through masses of people, his blurry vision tunnelled in on the gymnasium doors and he ran. Tripping over feet, running into bodies, he didn't care. He didn't stop until he had thrown the doors wide open and crisp New York, January air blistered his face, filling his lungs with icy relief. It wasn't enough. He ran. He kept running. His feet flew on their own volition.

It was a miracle he didn't trip, or get run over by one of the aggressively honking yellow cabs, but somehow he made it home. He was gasping for breath when he threw the front door open, crashing into the hallway in a fit of spluttering coughs.

"Simon?"

The male voice startled him so much that his state of panic was instantly frozen. Male…?

He spun around on the spot.

"... Dad?" He choked.

It was.

Stood in the kitchen, the familiar hulking frame of his absent father was still. The buzz-cut, shocking jawline, camouflage pants, and striking tan instantly marking him a military man. Brown liquid had sloshed over the mug he was holding when the front door had startled him, Simon's mother stood next to him appearing equally as alarmed.

"Simon!" His father grinned, rapidly ditching his mug and approaching Simon with his arms wide. Simon had no time to process before large, muscular arms that were so dissimilar to his own were wrapped tight around him. Suddenly he couldn't breathe again.

Happy? He should be feeling happy? His dad was there. Why was his dad there? Why couldn't he breathe?

Thoughts and feelings seemed so beyond Simon's grasp. His vision was as foggy as his mind was. Maybe he'd left his glasses somewhere?

Over the bulking, foreign-smelling shoulder of Deacon Lewis, Simon caught sight of his mother. She looked worried and apprehensive. Her dark eyes were piercing him with a look full of meaning that Simon was in too a confused state of mind to work out what meant.

Wait... Dad's here. Home.

Dad's here.

And mum…

Mum had done that thing…

That thing that still haunted him.

Dad didn't know.

Thought's hit him in his confusion like balls being thrown at him in a whirlwind.

Dad didn't know.

The straw was back, he couldn't breathe.

His heart thumped under his shirt.

His skin burned.

His vision caved into a mess of black stars.

He pulled away from his father and lowered himself to the floor.

"Simon!"

"Oh my God, Simon!"

"Breathe son, breathe!"

He couldn't, he just couldn't.

They were touching him and pulling at him, the touch hurt, branding his skin.

His heart thumped.

Clary's not getting better.

His chest flared.

Mum cheated on Dad.

His hands clenched.

Clary's going to die.

He gasped for breath.

Everyone's going to ask me about her.

Pain ran through his body.

I can't. I can't tell everyone.

"Simon!"

A voice cut through all the frantic tones of his parents'.

His vision focused. Long, silky, jet-black hair was falling over him. The pale, beautiful features he would recognise anywhere hovered above him.

"-Iz?" He choked.

"Yeah Si, it's me." She confirmed, her voice a refreshing calm and controlled from the panicked cries of his parents. It was the tone he associated to Izzy working with hospital patients. "Just follow my hand." She placed a delicate hand in the middle of his chest, "Breathe with me."

Pushing slowly and lightly, up and down on his chest, Simon tried his best to follow. Putting all of his focus into the soothing, encouraging words Izzy was muttering.

What felt like minutes later his vision started to clear. Without even realising it he was finding it easier to breathe.

"Wha-," He coughed, "... Did I just have a heart attack?"

Izzy smiled sympathetically, "You just had a panic attack."

She was cradling his head, stroking his hair rhythmically. It took a moment to realise he was on the floor in the middle of the hallway, and another moment to remember that Izzy should not be sitting on the floor on her first day out of hospital. But none of that seemed to matter as his eyes melted shut and he faded into slumber.

Right. WE'RE GETTING THIS DONE PEOPLE!

Pleaaaaaaseee let me know what you want from this story in the next few chapters! Any suggestions or wants or theories would be really interesting and I would luurv to hear them. It's very open to suggestion!

Okay, some questions to get you going...

do you think will happen to Clary? Will she wake up? If she does what will happen?

2. What happened to Valentine?

3. How will Jace take all of this?

All shall be reveallleeeddddd. Let me know your theories!

Also,

More Jace? More Izzy? More Simon? More Maia? More anyone...?

Anything in particular you want answered?

The choice is yours.

FREAKING LOV YAAAAA! 3