Blame

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

~oOo~

It was a beautiful day in late autumn, and Aang had decided to take advantage of that fact. Rising with the sun usually gave him a good bit of time for his meditation – a time when everyone else was still sleeping and so wouldn't bother him.

On this day, however, despite the beauty surrounding him, his thoughts were dark and painful.

Being anywhere near the air temples his people had built and lived in before Sozin had wiped them out caused him pain, but even worse... guilt. It lay heavy upon his soul, and the fact that his people had been destroyed to the last man because of him sometimes left him reeling in darkness with no light to guide him through the tempest.

Today was one such day.

They had arrived at the eastern air temple late last night, with Sokka and Katara eager to see the progress of the air acolytes in rebuilding the damaged temple. Aang was, too, but for him the temples were also haunted by the spirits of those who had lived and died here so long ago – and all because he ran away.

He sighed quietly as he gave up trying to meditate – in the current early morning silence he could almost hear the voices of the monks and nuns that had lived here, the children that had been brought here for training as airbenders, and their screams and shouts as they'd tried to defend themselves from firebenders that had been unbelievably powered up by that damned comet. It was terribly eerie, and he wondered if he'd ever be able to see these relics of his past without the ghosts of the long dead rebuking him for leaving them to their fates.

"What happened to your people wasn't your fault, Aang," a soft voice interrupted his spiralling thoughts and he jerked, his eyes flying open in surprise to see Katara's beloved face looking back at him with warmth and understanding.

He must have really been out of it for her to sneak up on him like that. After a moment spent calming his rapid pulse he almost slumped with the despair that was laying over him so heavily. "Yes, it is my fault, Katara. I ran away, and within days of my disappearance the Fire Nation attacked and wiped them all out. What with Sozin's comet my people didn't even stand a chance... if I'd been there-"

"If you'd been there, then what?" she demanded, glaring at him almost fiercely and taking him aback. "What could you have done? You might have been the Avatar, but you weren't trained in anything but airbending back then, so what could you have done?"

"I probably would have gone into the Avatar state and then I could have saved them!"

"Are you kidding me?" she squeaked indignantly. "All that would have done is gotten you killed, and then the avatar cycle would have been broken and the Fire Nation would have eventually ground the entire world under their heels with no hope of salvation. Even in the avatar state you couldn't have fought an entire army of powered up firebenders. Think about it, Aang. In that situation you actually did the best thing, because it kept you alive and secret until the time that you could defeat the Fire Nation came."

Aang just stared at her, mouth agape. Since he couldn't seem to find his voice, Katara continued.

"I've always thought that what happened was fate's design. The spirits knew the best way to preserve the avatar cycle at that time was to hide you, and so you were encouraged to run away. I've no doubt whatsoever that it was destined to be that way, because they made real sure to let you overhear that conversation you told me about with the monks that were planning to take you away from Gyatso. That's what prodded you into running, and then you conveniently headed into that terrible storm that ended with you freezing yourself in ice as protection. Your actions were the one thing that allowed hope to remain... because the Fire Nation didn't find you and kill you, I was able to find and release you, instead – and now look at the world." She sighed on a slow exhale, then looked into Aang's beautiful silver eyes with a sense of calm knowing that blew the young avatar away.

"Katara, I-"

"It wasn't your fault that Sozin wanted to rule the world. You can't be held accountable for anyone else's ambitions. You were too young and untrained to do anything about him at that time, so the fates intervened and hid you away in safety until the right circumstances could be brought about for you to train and then defeat Ozai in order to restore the balance. And you delivered, Aang. You did what no Avatar before you could have – you learned to bend all the elements in less than a year, when it normally takes years to do it," she said in a low tone that sent shivers up Aang's spine. "So please, stop blaming yourself. It's Sozin's fault that your people are gone. Blaming the innocent for the crimes of the guilty is wrong; you blaming yourself for Sozin's actions is wrong."

Aang was surprised enough at the things she'd said that he actually thought about it; he truly considered her words. And as he did he came to realize that she was right. As much as it pained him to admit it, if he'd been at the Southern Air Temple when the Fire Nation attacked, he would have died. Oh, he most likely would have gone into the avatar state and wiped out a lot more firebenders than the rest of his people did, but eventually he would have fallen and then the avatar cycle would have been no more. And that would have allowed the Firelord to grind the entire world under his boots. He shuddered to imagine Katara having to live in a world like that.

And there was the other side to the coin, as well. If he'd died with the rest of his people, he would never have met the love of his life. It was a secret guilt trip for him that he couldn't really regret waking up a century away from his people in time when it came down to it, because the thought of having to live without Katara was downright frightening to him. He could live without pretty much anything... but her.

He sighed, letting his tension out with the breath before drawing in new, clean air and straightening his shoulders. He would always feel grief for his lost people, but perhaps he could let at least some of the guilt go, because she was right – Sozin's ambitions were not his fault.

A small smile crossed his face, lightening the solemn look in his eyes as he met Katara's steady, loving gaze. A small frisson of pleasure went down his back at that look – for a while there, back during their travels he had begun to think he'd have to live without her, have to watch her look at someone else like that. It would have destroyed him, but he loved her enough that he only wanted her to be happy, even if it wasn't with him.

Fortunately his greatest wish had been granted, and amazingly enough Katara returned his feelings and they'd had a wonderful three years together already. He was so in love with her now that there was no redemption for him – not that he wanted any. His smile deepened and he looked up at his girl with sunshine in his gaze and no shadows hiding anywhere.

"The world doesn't owe me anything, Katara – it owes everything that's happened since you woke me up to you, because without you I couldn't have done any of what I did." He looked a little guilty again and he shifted uncomfortably at what he was about to admit to. "The truth is, I didn't really save the world for the world's sake – I saved it for you. Everything I do is for you, so that you can have as much peace as I can give you. I want you to be happy more than I want anything else."

Katara's eyes filled with tears at that heartfelt declaration and she leaned forward, pressing her parted lips to his and deepening the kiss immediately as he opened for her. One hand came up to caress his cheek tenderly as she let her overflowing emotions merge into the kiss. When they were forced to part for air, she smiled with tears tracing her cheeks and said, "I love you, Aang. Don't you ever doubt that. And you want to know a little secret? Everything I've done is for you – because I want you to be happy more than I want anything else, too."

The two gazed happily at each other before leaning in and kissing again, lost in their own little world that didn't include annoying brothers shouting "Oogies!" as he caught sight of them, waking everyone else in the temple up with the echoes of his shout.

That shout seemed to set something free in the air, though, and Aang took a moment to realize what it was – the ghosts of those who had died here were no longer clamoring at him. They'd been set free, and he knew in that moment that never again would the sight of the temples bring sadness to him, but joy instead.

Now the temples could ring with the voices of those who lived there in the here and now even if they weren't true airbenders yet, voices raised in happiness because the Fire Nation's grip on the world had been broken and peace restored. And as he pulled slowly away from Katara's devastatingly potent kiss so he could try to regain his breath, he thought about the betrothal necklace hiding in his robe.

Perhaps he wouldn't always be the last airbender...

fin