The rain still hammered down.
Ceaseless beating.
A drop for the fool,
For the child
And for Kai, moulded, beaten, vulnerable, strong, soft and twisted. Glass steel that cracks but will not break.
He stood. Willed his limbs to move onward in a weary staggering of immovable pride. He held his face up to the clouds that dusted the stars and let the rain drench his face, streak crimson blood down his neck, blazing a trail of heat and fire that glared behind eyes that watched, one foot in front of the other, because it doesn't stop.
As Kai stepped through the cold, through chilling shards that threatened to curl mercilessly around his insides, coil his heart and tongue in threads of ice, he felt his blood flow, all red heat chasing away the numbness that beaded his skin. He flexed his fingers; his knuckles grazed by strength and power, and refused the spectre of creeping cold and darkness that tried to entwine their fingers in his.
He drove himself forward, as his legs trailed behind his will, stumbling and pained and altogether ignored by the strength of mind. A mind that pushed aside the world and strode in defiance along the terrifying trail of unknowing nothingness, that promises to edge into somethings.
Ages seemed to pass around him, time wrapping around time in a bundle of life, death and existence that moved, step by step by agonising step until beneath his feet crunched gravel, and before his eyes loomed the familiarity of his hotel and team.
He opened the door without pausing, straightening himself, demanding a posture that denied the cuts and bruises that marred his flesh. One last step and he was inside, feet firmly on the carpet that slowly darkened as he stood dripping liquid heat and chill onto it.
Four faces turned to watch him enter. Each one silent as the saw him, each pair of eyes glazed with confusion and sympathy that they knew would be resented by the form that caused it.
The leader nodded towards them, his lips drawn in a tight line, his body feeling the relief of warmth and for moments that was how they stayed, a room suspended on the bridge of life, simply waiting for someone to decide that it was finally time to live it. Kai's eyes strayed to Rei, to the wonder and the pain fused in searching amber, and the phoenix moved towards their room, leaving the door open behind him.
He stayed standing, even as he longed to fall into the comfort of the bed, watching the rain streak down the glass window- his mind's eye watching waterfalls in the deepest rainforests, and it hit him that, that was what he was doing, seeking something beautiful that he might never find.
He let his eyes drift shut and then he heard the waterfalls roar in his ears, blood crashing through his veins as his heart sped up, pulsing like tribal drums in the depth of the trees.
He knew he was there.
Turning Kai saw Rei, the tigers movements unsure, as though he was holding the stars and was afraid that they would fall at any moment.
"You're hurt."
The phoenix drew his hand to his face, briefly reminding himself that he was.
"It doesn't matter."
Rei stepped forward and gently pushed Kai down onto the bed. "Did someone…"
Unconsciously Kai's hand rested itself on Rei's that still lay on his shoulder and softly interrupted, "It doesn't matter."
The tiger shook his head, his frown deepening, "Nothing matters to you, does it?"
Kai's silence drew Rei's eyes to him, letting confused amber see the gentle smile that licked at his leaders lips, answering his question with a thousand others.
Kai leaned forward and softly brushed a kiss across Rei's forehead.
"I'm," the phoenix paused, "I." Before him Rei was quiet, and Kai continued. "I can't say I'm sorry, I can't protect you from what I can be. I can't promise forever, or a happy ending, or that when the shadows are outside I won't follow them."
He ran his thumb over Rei's cheekbone and let it rest there for a moment. "All I know it that I want…" he stumbled over the word, knowing that it wasn't enough.
Watching Kai fumble over he words, Rei prompted, "What do you want?"
"You."
The phoenix lifted his head to the tiger, letting his eyes caress the soft contours of his face, the jet black hair that streamed down his spine and the long fingers wrapped in his.
"I want you."
The rest vanished, flittered away into sensation. Of Rei's lips on Kai's lips. Of heat and passion, the taste of raindrops and truths that were no longer banished to the shadows. To hands that searched, that traced the outline of the other, drawing pictures of the other behind their lids. To the feel of silky raven hair, damp skin and quiet moans that drew out shudders. To the todays and the tomorrows that admitted love.
In the darkest of nights
When the moon howls and the stars quake
I dream of you
And wake to find you holding me.
Finis
*huggles you all*