A/N: so as a letter of introduction, I'm taking advantage of the fact that most people read the first chapter of, well, any story. So to keep it short, no, I didn't steal this idea, I literally woke up and thought about it. And I thought my brain worked better at night.

And maybe as a warning: this will contain suggestive adult themes and, well, you get the point. Also, this chapter is kind of a rough start, but I promise it gets better. Reader discretion is advised. And don't forget to review if you enjoyed!

To: Sabaku-no-Gaara-sama, Fourth Kazekage of the Land of Wind

From: Ikira Hanami

Dear Gaara-sama,

I really appreciate your effort in being the Kazekage, but I have something to ask for you. I'm the vice-president of an athletics company, and I was wondering if you could model for my monthly catalog. I need to make sure you have a six-pack and biceps, preferably. I just can't tell from those dresses that you wear. I hope you reply soon, Kazekage-sama.

Sincerely,

Ikira Hanami, Fit-not-Fat Athletics, Inc.

The Kazekage's Reply

Dear Ikira,

I am sorry to say that my schedule is too busy to accommodate the photoshoot. Also, my usual Kage suit and my old outfit are not dresses. On the bright side, I do have somewhat prominent abdominal muscles, but no arm muscles. Maybe you could ask either of my siblings, Temari or Kankuro.

Good luck,

Sabaku no Gaara

The Kazekage's Thoughts

If people think the clothes I wear are dresses, then Temari would've failed her job. Yes, I have a personal fashion consultant. No, I do not take any body-building supplements, either. I personally think Temari would do better at the job; she's been asked by modeling agencies before. I just hope there weren't any swimwear segments planned...fangirls particularly like the Speedo ones...

A/N: a little harsh beginning, but it is better in the following chapters, so it would be appreciated if you would continue reading.

Little side/disclaimer note: Naruto is not in my ownership, neither is Speedo, but please don't kill me if I did something horribly copyrighted. Anyways, please tell me your thoughts and comments! Thanks a million!