A/N: Hey guys, this is my newest Red vs. Blue fic, featuring the lovely men and women of Project Freelancer as they get their hands on Cards Against Humanity! Also, I decided to ignore my doctor's orders lol. Warning: General Rooster Teeth language and some just awful themes.

*Deck 1*

Wash and York were watching the Grifball game when North and South came in, each with a small box in their hands. North put his package down. "Get everyone in here, quick!"

York rubbed his eyes in boredom. "Why? What could possibly demand the attention of all of us at once?"

North tossed him the box, and York studied it. "Cards Against Humanity? What the fuck is this?"

South leaned closer to him. "It's a card game where you try to make the funniest or most offensive sentence possible. There will be a black card that says a sentence or phrase with a blank, and the players must fill in the blank with a white card. Whoever has the funniest sentence wins the round. The score can go up to fifty, I think."

York sighed, and he left the room to get the other Freelancers. Soon, he returned with CT, Wyoming, Tex, Carolina, Maine, and Florida. "Here they are."

South quickly explained the rules again, and surprisingly everyone wanted to play. She began to pass out white cards to everyone. "Okay, we are about to begin."

"Why the fuck did I not get any!?" Wash complained. South glared at him, sending slight shivers up his back. "Because you are the judge this round, dipshit."

She shook her head and the black card was read aloud. "(Blank). Goddammit Japan." They quickly tried to fill in the phrase, and Tex went first. "A Japanese schoolgirl covered head to toe in semen. Goddammit Japan." This was deemed hilarious by Wash and CT, the latter who put down her own card. "Tentacle Porn. Goddammit Japan."

Maine and Florida snickered, but the surprise was Carolina. "Not bad. But I've got a good one." She put her card down. "A big-breasted fourteen year old wearing a mini-skirt and sucking on a lollipop. Goddammit Japan."

Wash and York began chuckling, until Maine put his card down. No one was able to understand his growls that well, so they all peered over the table to read his card. "A giant purple dildo. Goddammit Japan." Everyone looked at each other before they began laughing, even Carolina and Tex. "That's fucking hilarious!"

Maine shrugged, a smug expression on his face. Wyoming let out a sigh and placed his down. "Best I've got, chaps. Godzilla fucking Mothra. Goddammit Japan." Carolina and CT struggled to keep a straight face, for they remembered watching those old Earth movies with Wyoming and Tex.

Florida ran a hand over his head, looking a bit dejected as he put his card down. "A micropenis. Goddammit Japan." North and York both spat out some coffee. "That's fucking racist!" Florida glared at the younger Freelancers. "Yeah, well so is the rest of this bullshit." The older man did have a point, as many of these cards did seem incredibly offensive in every single sense.

CT let out a sigh. "Guys, it IS called Cards Against Humanity for a reason. I doubt this is supposed to be tasteful." York shrugged in resignation. "Good point. I believe it is now my turn." He put down a card, and Wyoming face-palmed as he read it aloud. "Vending machines that sell used schoolgirl panties. Goddammit Japan." The British Freelancer sighed as he looked at it again. "You know, the sad thing is that one is actually true. You can blame Japan for that."

North looked through his deck, groaning in frustration. "Man, this one's gonna fucking suck ass." He slammed a card down, and he tried to hide his face as York peered over the table to read it. "The baby boomers. Goddammit Japan." He glared at North. "That's something you blame Germany for, dumbass."

"Man, fuck you."

"No thank you sir. I do not swing that way at all." Wyoming and Maine started snickering, while South cleared her throat. "Can I fucking go? Thank you." She placed her own down, the final card for this round to be played. She seemed rather confident too. "Hentai princesses. Goddammit Japan."

Carolina gave her an exasperated look. "While I will agree that is something we can blame Japan for, we don't all need to know about your secret little fetishes." South began to blush, her mouth opening and closing wordlessly.

Wash stood up, his face hidden behind his hands. "Okay, I will now announce the winner of this round. It is….Agent Carolina." Everyone except the redhead began to groan and boo Wash's decision. "You only chose her because she can whoop your ass!"

Wyoming stroked his mustache. "That seems to be a good enough reason to me, though. Shall we continue?"

This would the game that really made the agents lose brain cells.

A/N: Very short, but I'm hitting a wall here. Leave me any suggestions that you may have, and I'll give you the honorable mention. See you!