Snowed In

"What do you mean there are no shuttles out of here?" Jess Shepard asked, glaring at the attendant behind the counter. Her black coffee colored eyes were narrowed and her brow creased with pure frustration. The attendant stepped back, clearly uncomfortable and rightfully so. You would never guess the petite, blonde Admiral shouting at the clerk was either loved or feared in equal measures, depending on which side of her temper you found yourself on. It had been three years since Admiral Shepard had activated the Crucible and defeated the Reapers. She had been missing in action for weeks after the initial blast. It wasn't until her crew, the only family she had, insisted on searching for her that they found her among the rubble of the Citadel.

She'd been barely alive, burned, and broken, but it wasn't the first time her remains had been pulled from space. This time, however, she hadn't actually been dead. Miranda Lawson, the lead scientist on her original resurrection, had assisted in the repairs. They'd kept her in a coma while they healed her. Regrowing bones and patching her torn flesh until she was complete again.

This time had been different. Without Cerberus' supplies and funds there were issues, and when she woke she wasn't able to hop up and get back to work like she had before. She needed to relearn to walk, and she'd had difficulty with speech. She'd always had a reputation. Civilians were in awe of her, her subordinates feared her, her peers respected her, and her COs trusted her. It wasn't until she was forced to depend on others that she realized how much they all cared for her, and that made her uncomfortable. When people cared about her, they got hurt, or hurt her.

Once she was officially back on her feet and able to work again, she was promoted, skipping a few ranks and going from Commander to Admiral. No one argued with the decision, and her reputation served her well. It helped her get the jobs done to help humanity rebuild and take their place, once again, in galactic society. Moments like this, however, when all she wanted to do was get out of Vancouver and back to her quarters on Arcturus II, made her wish civilians saw her differently.

"I-I'm sorry, Admiral," The tall, lanky redhead stuttered as her green eyes looked everywhere but at Shepard. Shepard closed her eyes and roughly ran her hands through her hair, the straight locks fell and brushed her shoulders before she opened her eyes again. She tried to force a smile, but feared that it came across as a grimace. "The flights have been cancelled due to the storm," She explained. "The next flight out won't be until tomorrow evening, once the band of snow has moved passed us."

"This is not okay," She snapped, her hand pounding the counter.

"Is there a problem, Admiral?" A honey-smooth voice crooned from behind her and her eyes closed as she clenched her jaw.

"No, Councilor," She sneered the title, and heard the quick exhale of breath he let escape. "Everything is fine. This nice young woman was just going to book a room for me, since there are no flights out of this god-forsaken hell hole," She answered. When she opened her eyes and looked to the clerk, the apprehension on her face told Shepard everything she needed to know.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am," She said and Shepard took a deep breath and turned on her heel, leaving the Councilor standing at the counter with the clerk and bursting through the doors into the frozen Vancouver night. She had no idea where she was going to go now. All of Alliance Brass was in Vancouver, as well as the Council, to commemorate the end of the war. She was only supposed to be here one day and then get home, now she was stuck.

"Admiral," She heard him again, and she turned her back towards the voice. She slung her bag further up on her shoulder and stalked away from him. "Shepard!" She quickened her steps when she realized he was following her. "Goddamn it, Jess! Stop!" She froze, and turned on her heel bringing her face to face with Councilor Kaidan Alenko.

Once upon a time, before she died over Alchera, before Cerberus, before the Reapers, he had been her best friend and for a brief time, they had been lovers. That was a long time ago. Once Cerberus had brought her back, they had never quite seen eye to eye. She had opened herself up to him, loved him, and when she had needed him, like she had on Horizon, he had walked away from her. On Mars, he called her a husk and doubted her loyalty. When the late Councilor Udina attempted his coup, he'd held a gun on her and refused to believe she was telling the truth about the man until Udina had pulled his own weapon on Tevos, the Asari Councilor.

When she thought he was going to ask to join her on the Normandy, to take out the Reapers, he told her he had accepted a position with Admiral Hackett and the Fifth Fleet. His reason had been that it would be better that Humanity's two Spectres weren't serving on the same ship, but she knew the truth. He didn't trust her and didn't want to work that closely with her. After the war ended, her promotion, and his being named to the Council, they were forced to work together on an almost regular basis. She hated him for it. Why couldn't he just leave her alone?

"Where are you going?" He asked her simply and she sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. "My parent's house is… it's small but it's empty and it's nearby," He offered and she glared at him without answering. "Unless you'd rather sleep on the sidewalk," He said, and she chewed her lip as she looked around. There weren't many hotels in the city, and with the dignitaries in town there wouldn't be room anywhere else. They were still working on rebuilding. She looked back at him. His hands were dug deep into the pockets of his dark gray peacoat, which fit him perfectly, hugging his broad shoulders and wide chest. He wore a blue scarf around his neck, but his cheeks and nose were tinged red from the cold. She sighed and ignored the smirk that pulled at the corner of his lips as she followed him.

Kaidan looked at her out of the corner of his eye as she caught up to him. She was still stunning, and stubborn as hell, but everything he wanted. He knew he had screwed up, and he didn't know if she would ever be able to forgive him but with the way she ignored him he was never able to really apologize and explain himself. "Fuck, Kaidan, this weather sucks. How the hell can you stand living here?" She mumbled as she rubbed her hands together. He made a sharp turn at a corner and she tripped to keep up with him. She cursed him and he chuckled, and slowed his steps. "Where are we going?"

"We have to stop at this store here," He explained as he led her to the door, and held it open. She stepped in looking around the small shop asking what they needed. "The house has been empty since the end of the war," He explained, and she stopped and looked at him as he walked in. His parents had died in the war and when his eyes met hers she saw the pain there, and her attitude softened slightly. She knew what it was like to lose your family. "So, we need to get some food," He explained as he grabbed a basket and some essentials: Milk, eggs, bread, peanut butter, and jelly.

She peered in the basket, and then looked up to his eyes. "I see we're going to eat very well," She sighed, and he chuckled softly.

"Shepard, they don't have a lot of options here," He reminded her and she looked around, her lip pinched between her teeth. It was a small convenience store, stocking only the bare essentials, or snacks for travelers passing through. She spotted something in the corner, and Kaidan watched her walk over, his brow creased. She came back over to him with a case of beer, and he grinned. "Now, you're getting it." She rolled her eyes, and they moved to pay for their items. Once they finished, they continued their walk towards the house.

"How far is it?" She asked him, her teeth chattering. She hadn't quite dressed for the weather. She wore only a simply coat over her dress blues. She hadn't really planned on being here overnight. He gestured with his hand towards a quaint house set back from the street. She turned, and her heart warmed at the site of his family home. It was small, and looked more like a cottage out of an old storybook. The garden had once been full of life and flowers, but neglect left little to admire. Kaidan and she went to the front and he opened his omni-tool to unlock the door. He pushed it open and allowed her to enter first.

She looked around, and sighed. She could almost see Kaidan as a young boy with his parents here, laughing and enjoying each other. She turned and looked to him as he locked the door and faced her. For a brief moment, she saw the pain flash across his face. She shivered again as she followed him into the kitchen. It was a clean room, as clean as it could be without being used. The fridge was wide open and empty. Kaidan set the bags down on the table. "Wait here," He said, quietly, his tone subdued as he opened a door in the back of the room and descended the stairs to the basement.

She watched him go before looking around and wandering from the kitchen into the living area. She blew into her hands, and rubbed them together trying to bring the feeling back to her chilled fingers. She found pictures hanging on the walls stood in front of them. She felt a twist in her core as she realized they were pictures of him and his parents. One of his parents on their wedding day, a picture of his parents with him when he was an infant. There was also a wall of photos of him through his school years. It was clear his parents were quite proud of him. The pictures stopped when he was about fifteen. BAaT. Shepard jumped when there was a loud click, and the electricity turned on. She went back to the kitchen and left most of the groceries on the counter, but put milk and eggs in the fridge.

Kaidan stopped when he reached the door to the kitchen. Shepard was just standing after reaching behind the fridge to plug it in, and his breath caught in his throat. It was the oddest thing, having her here in his parents' house, but it felt right. She turned and met his eyes. He hated how quickly her walls went up when she looked at him now. He remembered how easy they had it when they were together before. "Heat?" She asked, quietly blowing into her hands again bringing him out of his thoughts.

He nodded towards the living room. The furnace wasn't on, it would have been too dangerous with the house being empty. There was, however, a fireplace. "Oh you have got to be shitting me," She said, and Kaidan couldn't help but laugh as he crouched down in front of the fireplace. He reached inside and opened the flue before prepping the tinder and logs to start the fire. She raised an eyebrow at him as she watched him. It didn't take him long to get the fire started, and he looked up at her.

"You don't have to stay," He reminded her with a sigh as he pulled off his coat and scarf. She said nothing as she ignored the way the dress shirt stretched over his chest and shoulders. It was a simple white shirt, and he wore black pants with it, but it fit him like it had been made for him. It probably had been. She just pulled off her own coat, revealing the snug set of dress blues beneath. She ignored his eyes as they moved over her form. "Are you hungry?" He asked her and she shook her head. He added a few more logs to the fire and sat on the floor in front of it, leaning up against the couch.

"Do you want a beer?" She asked, and he nodded and thanked her, watching her leave. He sighed and wiped his hands on his pants and looked around the room. The shadows danced and he closed his eyes and listened to the fire pop and crackle. He could almost imagine his parents were here. His Dad in the chair to his right, reading his paper. His mom sitting on the couch behind him, knitting, while he sat on the floor and toyed with his omni-tools or his books. He could almost smell the tobacco of his father's pipe and the peppermint of his mother's hand lotion. He choked back a sob, and opened his eyes surprised that they had filled with tears.

Shepard was standing in the doorway watching him, beer in hand. He looked so lost sitting there, and she wondered momentarily if this was the first time he had been here since his parents' death. She moved into the room and check the window. The snow had started, large, white fluffy flakes falling from the sky. They had made it to the house just in time. She took a long pull from the bottle before turning to go back by the fire. She wanted to give him a moment, it was obvious this was difficult for him.

When she did go to him, she handed him his beer and he took it before she sat next to him on the floor. She asked him about the Council, and they spoke about her Fleet. They discussed their friends from the Normandy SR-1. Tali and Garrus were living together on Rannoch. Wrex and Eve were on Tuchanka raising their brood. Dr. Chakwas and Joker were still serving on the SR-2 with Shepard. As they spoke, they drank, and Kaidan noticed as the rosiness of her cheeks and the glassiness of her eyes increased with each beverage. He had missed this, sitting with her, simply spending time with her without the drama and shouting.

She tipped her head back to finish off her drink and set it with the other empties. She turned and looked over her shoulder. The snow was coming down hard now, she could only see white out the window. The lull in the conversation allowed them to hear the howling winds outside. She glanced at him as he opened another bottle, trying not to look uncomfortable. She wasn't used to this kind of weather, and she let the pleasant buzz she felt dull the anxiety. He shifted to his knees and she watched as he moved over to the fireplace to add more wood.

She couldn't help the way her eyes watched his body as he moved. The muscles shifting and visible even through his shirt. She chewed her lip. He had aged well. The changes to him had surprised her and she had to remember that while she spent two years being essentially rebuilt, he had continued to grow older. He had a dusting of gray hair laced through his dark curls. There were new lines on his face, around his mouth and near his eyes but he had clearly taken care of himself. He was more than just a soldier; he was a weapon. His strength and biotics making him lethal.

He could feel her eyes on him as he stoked the fire. He turned and glanced at her over his shoulder, and her eyes darted away from him. He stood and went to a closet nearby. He pulled out a few pillows and blankets tossing them at her before he went back to the couch. She pulled the blankets off her head and looked at him. He was smirking and she rolled her eyes. He joined her again, arranging the blankets around them.

"Kaidan," She started, apprehension thick in her voice, but he interrupted her.

"There's only one fireplace in the house, and it's going to get colder with the wind. We're going to have to stay close," He explained and she sighed. She could feel the heat coming from him. She could smell him, too; spicy and masculine. She wasn't upset about being so close to him. It just hurt. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she still loved him and that was why she was always so angry with him. He'd been able to move on and build a life without her but he had a two year head start. She didn't trust herself alone with him, especially a few drinks in. It was silent for a few minutes, as they watched the fire before them. "Jess," He started and felt her tense beside him. "I know you're angry with me, and I get it but I'd like the opportunity to explain," He added and she sighed as she toyed with the edge of the blanket.

"It's not like I can get away from you," She reminded him, her eyes locked on the dancing flames as she tried to ignore the sound of the wind and the scent of the man next to her.

"It was never my intention to hurt you," He admitted quietly, and she scoffed at him. He clenched his jaw momentarily before he continued. "It wasn't ever about you, it was self-preservation. You died. I buried you. I mourned you. I tried to move on, but I couldn't. Then suddenly you were back and it was more than I could handle. I didn't think I could survive losing you again, so I pushed you away. On Horizon, on Mars, I said things I shouldn't have, things I didn't mean, so I could hurt you the way I was hurting. It wasn't right, I know that, but I'm only human and I did what I had to do to survive."

She didn't say anything for a long time. What he said made sense, it didn't make it hurt any less, but it was about as logical as human emotions could be and she couldn't argue with logic. "Why didn't you come with me?" She asked softly, "After Udina's coup attempt, I thought you would have come with me but you went with Hackett."

"Jess," He whispered her name, and her eyes slid closed. "I would not have been effective working with you. I would have been too worried about protecting you. I would have gotten in your way," He explained and she turned her eyes towards him. He was surprised to see they were filled with tears.

"Why didn't you tell me that?" She asked quietly, her voice trembled and all he wanted to do was take her in his arms.

"When? When you were giving me the cold shoulder or when you were shouting at me?" He asked and she sighed. "I am sorry that I hurt you. It is really the last thing I ever wanted to do." She nodded, but said nothing. Kaidan wasn't sure where he stood now as she remained silent. Her eyes were on the fire and after a moment he noticed the tears sliding down her face. "What's wrong?" He asked, startled by the uncharacteristic show of emotion.

"I'm tired. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of being strong," She admitted quietly. "I'm tired of missing you," It was a whisper, and he had barely heard it. He reached over and was surprised when she allowed him to turn her head towards him.

"I'm right here," He reminded her when their eyes met, and she nodded. He kept his hand on her face and his heart pounded against his chest as his thumb wiped away her tears. She reached up, her fingers tracing his cheek before cupping his head and bringing her lips to his. It was soft at first, a gentle reacquainting. She could smell his aftershave, and taste the beer on his lips. He pulled back slightly, and his eyes met her. "Jess, I-"

"Shut up, Kaidan," She said, her half-lidded eyes sliding closed and she heard him inhale sharply through his nose as her mouth met his again. She didn't want him to tell her to stop. She just wanted him. She wanted to feel him and remember what it had been like before she had died. His hand slid into her hair, the soft blonde strands tickling his fingers as her mouth opened for him and their kiss deepened. She shifted, without breaking their kiss, and his head fell back as she moved to straddle his lap. He sat forward, wrapping his arms around her as his hands explored the taut muscles of her back though her shirt.

Her hands slid down his back and pulled at the bottom of his shirt, untucking it from his pants. He pulled his lips from hers and sat back, her hands moving to his shoulders as his rested on her hips. He licked his lips before opening his mouth to speak and she silenced him with a hand over his mouth. She shook her head as her free hand moved to her shirt and she undid the buttons. She smirked when his eyes moved to her chest and his hands tightened on her hips. She pulled her shirt off before leaning forward and pressing her body close to his, moving her hand and kissing him deeply. Her tongue danced with his as her teeth teased his lips. He groaned and pulled her hips closer to him.

She could feel him hardening beneath her, and she whimpered softly as she rolled her hips and his hands slid up her back. She trembled against him. He moved his mouth from hers and left a trail of kisses down her jawline. Her head fell back and his teeth and tongue worked against the soft flesh of her neck. He could feel her pulse pounding as he nipped lightly and she gasped. Her breath escaped in a sigh. She leaned back and his lips followed the arch of her chest as his hands expertly undid the clasp behind her. She released him long enough to remove the undergarment before his mouth returned to her neck and collarbone. Her hands were fisted in his hair as he lowered his head and ran his tongue over her hardened nipple. She gasped, and pulled his hair lightly. He growled against her tender flesh before moving to the opposite breast.

She slid her hands from his hair as he suckled gently, lapping at one pebbled tip while his hand slid up her side to cup, and tease, the other. She moaned loudly as she pulled at his shirt. She wanted to press herself against him, skin to skin, and feel the hard expanse of his chest against hers. She wanted to feel the soft scratch of the hair on his chest against her overly sensitized flesh. He separated long enough to allow her to pull the shirt over his head. She met his eyes, which burned with pure need, and whimpered bringing her mouth to his again and sighing into his kiss as her body pressed against his.

He growled from the back of his throat as he lifted her slightly and twisted, lying her beneath him. She sighed as the familiar weight settled on top of her. He was hard, and throbbing against his pants and she slid a hand down between them to his belt. His stomach fluttered with excitement and he sat back on his feet. He kept his eyes locked on hers as she propped herself up on her elbows to watch him. He undid his pants and pulled them, and his boxers, over his hips freeing his impressive length. He felt the masculine pride in his chest when her eyes lowered, and her tongue darted out to wet her lips. She sat up, pressed a hand against his chest, and pushed him back. He sat with his back against the couch as she moved in front of him. She helped him rid himself of his pants, and while on all fours in front of him, she kissed him.

His hands tangled themselves in her hair, holding her close. She pulled away and dropped her head, slowly kissing across his chest. She sighed as she did so, and Kaidan groaned as she moved lower. As her mouth made its way across his core, her hand wrapped around him slowly stroking him and he bit his lip hard to stop himself from bucking into her hand. She looked up at him, smirking as she hovered over his rock hard member and he groaned her name. Slowly, she slipped her mouth around him, her tongue and lips working with her hand. His head fell back and he moaned her name. She answered with a groan around him and he gasped as he tried not to thrust deeper into her mouth.

His hand twisted in her hair, guiding her along his length, and she moaned again as he gently pulled her hair. He could feel himself reaching his peak, and he whimpered her name. He tugged lightly again until she released him, her eyes were clouded with desire as she moved to kiss him. He pulled away from her kiss and moved, gently guiding her to lie back down. Once she was beneath him again, he kissed her thoroughly. One hand moved down and skimmed lightly over her chest and belly. The flesh trembled beneath his touch and he grinned against her mouth when she moaned.

He made quick work of the button and zipper on her pants, and slid his hand inside and beneath her panties. His hand brushed passed the curls and found her hot, wet core and they shared a moan as his fingers slid along her slit before finding and rubbing gently against the bundle of nerves at her center. Her head fell back from his and she let out a string of curse words as he chuckled softly and ran his tongue along her collarbone. Her hands moved from his back to her own pants and she pushed them over her hips as she rolled her hips against his hand. She kicked them off without his help, as her moans came faster and louder.

She was panting and her hands moved back to his hair, tugging to bring his mouth to hers. Her tongue darted out, teasing his lips before sliding inside and gliding against his. "Please, Kaidan, now," She whimpered the words, and he groaned as he moved his hand and spread her legs with his knee. She opened her eyes and met his as he positioned himself at her core. She smiled and cupped his face. She lifted her head and met his in a kiss as he slowly pushed inside her. They shared a moan, and her eyes closed momentarily and a smile pulled at her lips as he filled her.

He kissed her and her legs lifted and wrapped around him as he slowly rocked his hips against hers. Slipping almost all the way out before thrusting back in. He grunted as she met him each time. As he moved inside her, her hands gripped at his back, nails breaking his skin. He growled and moved faster as she panted and urged him on. Her voice rose in volume and pitch as she reached her peak. She whimpered his name like a prayer on every breath, and he lifted himself on his hands, hovering over her and giving himself added leverage to pump inside her. The firelight danced over her naked, sweat-slickened skin. Her flesh was rose-tinted and hot as she gripped at his arms.

She opened her eyes and looked into his face above her. She could feel the muscles in his arms as he held himself up. His eyes flashed blue momentarily, and she knew he was close. She had the thought, as she watched him above her, his face twisted in pleasure and lust that he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. Her heart swelled as he took his pleasure from her. She could feel him reaching his peak. Without warning, he flared. The room lit up in a glorious cerulean blue as he emptied himself inside her. The electric vibration his power gave off made her tingle deep inside, and she followed him over the edge. His name fell, loudly from her lips as he relaxed on top of her. His weight welcomed in her arms.

He kissed her slowly and thoroughly as they came down. He pulled away, and met her eyes. She smiled, completely satisfied as he brushed the hair from her face. Reluctantly, he withdrew and rolled to his side next to her. Their sweat covered bodies were quickly cooling in the cold house. He pulled the blanket over them and tucked her in under his arm. She smiled and sighed, snuggling closer to him. He reached his hand out and she turned her head to watch as he Lifted a log and placed it on the fire. His body tingled with the energy, buzzing against her, and she moaned turning her head and kissing his shoulder lightly. He chuckled, and she felt it deep in his chest.

"This wasn't exactly what I had in mind," He said, and she looked up at him, "I mean, I'm not complaining I just don't want you to think-"

"That you were trying to seduce me?" She suggested and he chuckled softly. "Not Kaidan Alenko, he's a gentleman." He laughed and kissed her. He pulled away after a moment, and again brushed hair from her face. His fingers lightly tracing her cheek. She tilted her head into his touch and he smiled.

"You know, you have to know, that I love you," He whispered as he looked into her dark chocolate eyes. She blushed, and smiled. He could feel her heart racing inside her chest. "Through everything, all of it, since that first day on the SR-1, I knew you were going to be an important part of my life. I don't think I have ever or will ever love someone this way. I couldn't even when you died."

She smiled, "You're an idiot," She answered and he grinned and kissed her. He pulled her against him, and she buried her face in his chest as he wrapped the blankets around them both. They settled, legs twisted together. He watched the fire dance before him and enjoyed the feeling of her in his arms. He felt her breathing deepen, and steady, and it lulled him to sleep.

She woke first, trembling in the cold. The fire had gone out while they slept. She leaned up and whispered Kaidan's name. His eyes opened sleepily, and she felt the moment he registered the cold when he shivered. He cursed and she giggled when he sat up. He took one blanket with him and left her the other when he went to the fireplace to restart the fire. She bit her lip as she watched him. She was amazed at the way the night had unfolded but she was grateful for it. It was what they had needed. She needed to learn to be less stubborn; she could have missed out on this and everything this could be.

She stood wrapping the blanket around her shoulders and went to the window to see how much snow had fallen. "Uh, Kaidan?" She called after she pulled back the curtains. She jumped slightly when she felt him wrap his arms and blanket around her and place a tender kiss to her neck. "Is that what I think it is?"

He laughed, and kissed a trail up her neck to her ear, "Yeah," he answered. It had snowed all night. The snow was halfway up the window, and that meant it was halfway up the door as well. "It's not a problem, though, I can move it with my bio-"

She turned her head and kissed him, effectively silencing him, "No. Leave it," She mumbled against his lips and he grinned. They were stuck until the city cleared the streets, or it melted. In reality, they would be stuck until they ran out of food and then he would clear the walkway with his biotics. Until then they'd stay bundled up in front of the fire, together.