Consign to Oblivion

A/N: I blame having way too much time on my hands due to overnight shifts for this insane fic. I wrote the entirety of it in something like twenty cummulative hours... Yamakeru fans, enjoy. Or be wierded out. Your call.

This fic will be three chapters and probably include a Taishirou spin off. Not sure if anything will come more of this, but if there's enough support... you never know?

Warnings: Yaoi, incest, graphic rape... the usual. Also, implied Jyoumato. Obvious one-sided Yamakeru. If you squint, maybe Taito, too.

[Part One: Amusement]

Gold tufts of hair glimmered between his fingers. He couldn't see the face buried in his waistline, but he could hear the familiar huff of breath that made his entire body tremble. He closed his eyes as pleasure soared through steadily, like a bucket filling with water. He could hear his own voice crying out and that was when he realized it was all a blissful dream.

Yamato shot up in the cold night air, made colder by the sweat covering his bare shoulders. His throat was dry and he scrambled to breathe through the sandpaper airways. He reached over to Takeru's bag and pulled out one of the bottles of water, downed it, and realized:

That dream again? Fuck's wrong with me? He wearily buried his face in his hands. It was a struggle to sit with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands with that doing that. He would never get back to sleep now. Tears in his eyes, he glanced over at his younger brother who was sleeping soundly close to the rock. Gabumon was keeping the boy warm, much like the railcar, especially since Yamato knew there was no way he could possibly do it himself... Tokomon wasn't too far, either, more of a pillow than a Digimon.

Yamato had finally managed to catch a breath and he wanted more than anything to just sneak away, get rid of the ache between his legs, but they were in the middle of the desert, save this tiny jutting rock that they found for shelter. There were lights in the distance and Yamato knew, somehow, he could make it one more night without sleep and then he would have all the privacy he needed.

The next morning, the older brother was surely calmed down, having convincing himself of his sick thoughts, but he was noticably tired. At first, he was glad. His nightmares were gone, he figured! Hallelujah. But, no, they weren't gone... just replaced by his younger brother's pleading eyes. He shook the look from his mind as he stared out across the sand.

"Oniichan," Takeru called. "How much further?"

"Not far," he replied simply.

"Takeru, what do you think is over there?" Tokomon asked, hopping up to join them at the edge of the dune.

"Looks like a ferris wheel. Like the one in Odaiba, right Yamato?" Takeru asked.

"Yeah," Yamato replied. He avoided all contact with his brother as not to stir the unwanted feelings in him and they set out for that days hike. Ever since Taichi had disappeared and the group had disbanded from Yamato's own insanity, this was their life for the past few days. Hiking across another damn desert. Yamato had paid close attention to everyone's stamina and could pace themselves well. Still, Gabumon had taken note of the older blonde's reluctance to record his own stamina and could see him growing noticably thinner. They had been traveling without direction and Gabumon didn't need a single thing to tell him his tamer was growing weaker, physically and mentally. The Digimon had always had to deal with Yamato's reoccuring nightmares, not knowing what they were about, but something had changed lately. Leaving camp in the middle of the night, waking up and not falling asleep, eating little, and even ignoring Takeru to the point that the little boy had his shirt caught on a cactus and Yamato just stared ahead in a daze.

"Yamato, you should rest. Everyone will understand," Gabumon started, but his tamer didn't hear him. "Yamato."

I can't turn into this. I'm better than this. I know I am. Just a little further and I'll get through this... right? Jeez, Yamato, it's not like you even know why you're really out here in the first place. You're not looking for Taichi, that's for damn sure. Bastard's dead. End of story. You didn't stay with anyone else, you only took Takeru out here into nowhere, with no destination, for yourself. Your selfish needs. That's why you're having these dreams. Maybe if I turn back, I can still catch up with Mimi...

"Oniichan!" Takeru barked, throwing his arms into his brother's legs.

Yamato woke from his own banter and pulled away quickly, "What?"

"Gabumon says we should rest," the little one explained.

"No. Look, see? We're almost there," Yamato replied, marching faster now. The muscles in his legs burned, but he didn't care. At least the pain would distract him from the horrible thought of his brother under him, kicking to get free. The older sibling's stomach churned a moment and he stopped. I can't. I just can't!

"Yamato?" Gabumon pleaded, rushing over to him. "Come on, we're almost there just like you said. We'll get you some food and a nice place to rest, I promise. I can evolve if you want me to carry you, even."

"N-No," Yamato started. Then Takeru will just ride behind me. The blonde shivered at the thought and punched the dirt. No one noticed as he used the balled fist to pry himself from the ground.

They continued walking and eventually did come to a grassy area. In the distance was what could now be identified as an amusement park, to Takeru's excitement. They crossed a small bridge and entered the park. Not a soul was in sight, but when Yamato glanced around, everything was definetly operational. He had some knowledge of machines; enough to know when things like this were working or not. Then again, did the Digital World really play by those rules? They could run on children's innocence for all he knew.

"Oniichan, look, look~ Cotton candy. I want some."

"We don't know if it's safe," Yamato demanded. "We'll find something nearby. I'm sure lots of fruit grows in those trees back there. Gabumon, you and Tokomon know which ones to get right?"

Gabumon nodded. Tokomon rushed towards the trees, the small wolf Digimon following him.

Yamato spotted a bunch of tables. A food court of some kind. Beyond was a bathroom, at least. A small luxury in this Digital Hell, for sure. "T-Takeru, wait here a bit, will you?"

"Eh? Why?" he questioned.

"Bathroom," Yamato nodded, pointing across the way. Gabumon and Tokomon weren't far off, rummaging through the plants and gathering safe things.

"Oh, good, I need to go and Mom always gets mad when I pee in public."

I'm sure she just hates it, Yamato thought, grinding his teeth. He was going to just let Takeru go on ahead, but his brother dragged him inside and around the corner. Takeru rushed over to a urinal happily.

Yamato turned away, finding a crack in the tile to stare at. He waited patiently, but Takeru's voice broke the silence. "I thought you had to go?"

Instinctively, Yamato turned as his brother cleaned up, getting a fairly good view of things he had only dreamt about and bit his lip. He turned away quickly, "I just can't do it with you here is all... Go find Gabumon and don't touch anything."

Takeru nodded and washed his hands, then headed outside. His stomach growled. That was when he noticed the nearby mushrooms growing behind the lavatory sign. The boy reached beyond and picked a few, stuffing them into his bag. He tore off a tiny bit and placed it in his mouth. The taste was different from normal mushrooms, but Takeru attested that to the Digital World... a place where meat could taste like banannas if it wanted to.

He wanted to eat more, but he didn't want to wait on his brother any longer. Instead, they would be a snack for later. He was sure he had eaten these before. The young boy glanced around, noticing no sign of the Digimon, but he could still hear their voices not far off, discussing something in muffled voices. He headed back into the bathroom, but stopped about halfway, feeling dizzy.

Yamato, meanwhile, was taking his few moments of quiet to try and calm himself... well, sort of. Maybe more like work himself up so he could be calm. Still, the dream had fleeted him, so things were taking longer than he wanted. He worried about Takeru in the back of his mind, but at the same time, could only think of what a beautiful being he was.

The older brother cursed as he petted over the front of his pants. He had never asked to feel this way. Hell, normally, he was more attracted to... Mimi or something... not even guys. The entire thing was confusing, guilt-ridden, and sick, but this was the only way he could fix his broken mind.

"Takeru," Yamato breathed, closing his eyes as he leaned against the wall. He could imagine the multitude of things he had dreamt about: Takeru's mouth enveloping his length in soft warmth. Yamato sliding his hand between his brother's legs, making him pant his name... "Takeru..." Yamato groaned, about ready to unzip his pants when something startled him.

The blonde opened his heavy, blue eyes and watched as Takeru stumbled in. "T-Takeru! I told you-" but before Yamato could finish his sentence, he noticed something off. "Takeru? You okay?" When his little brother just wobbled in place, it sobered the other quickly, "What happened?"

Despite obvious awkwardness, Yamato hurried to his brother. The boy had a dazed look and Yamato snapped his fingers.

"I feel... a little dizzy..."

"What happened?" Yamato questioned once more, but Takeru wouldn't answer. Then, he heard Gabumon and Tokomon outside and called for Gabumon to stay near the door. Yamato lead Takeru around the corner and told them to go get him some water and he would catch up.

Yamato cursed again after everyone had gone. Not only had he almost been caught with this horrible feeling, but he had let Takeru wander off alone. He probably just needed something to eat. We haven't had a good meal in weeks... it's just low blood sugar or something. Nothing to worry about.

The entire thing had completely killed Yamato's mood, so he accepted defeat and went to tend to the brother he loved more than anything in the world. Outside the building, though, he stepped on something that gave a sick squish under his boot. That was when he noticed the broken stalks in the bed near him and a crushed mushroom under his feet. "I bet Gabumon picked some. Those will be good over a fire."

"No!" hissed a voice. Yamato thought he was hearing things. Sora? He shook his head and reached down into the bed. "Don't!" came the voice again and Yamato stood. "Those make your memories disappear!"

"S-Sora?" Yamato questioned. He walked over to the trees and glanced about, but he saw no sign of the girl or her Digimon. He figured he was as delirious as Takeru and hoped a good meal would help him. With that, he returned to his brother and the two Digimon.

"Oh, so that's what happened... Takeru, you could have been hurt really bad!" Tokomon urged.

Yamato's eyes furrowed as he neared the table they had gathered at. "What's the matter?"

"That," Gabumon replied. There was a mushroom with a small bite taken out of it sitting on the table. "It's a dangerous mushroom that makes you lose your mind."

"I didn't mean to, Oniichan... I'm so sorry..." Takeru urged. "We haven't eaten in so long..."

Yamato smiled, "Don't worry, buddy. I saw them, too. Thought I heard a voice tell me they were bad. Must have been my guardian angel or something."

"Well, you listen to it, then," Gabumon warned. "Takeru only had a little, so it just dazed him, but the effects will last for a few hours. I think we shouldn't do anything too strenious while he recovers."

"What would a whole one do?" Takeru questioned, ever the curious little drug-o-phile.

"You would lose your memories forever," Tokomon nodded, "That's why they are the Mushrooms of Forgetfulness."

Forgetfulness? Yamato wondered. Forgetfulness... Forgetting your memories forever...?

For the rest of the day Yamato contemplated what forgetting meant to him. He fished since there was no for-sure safe food around and it kept him occupied. He managed to catch a few things and while he was there, he noted a small dock full of boats. After inspecting all of them, only a few were usable. He glanced across the lake and wondered if there would be something more suitable across, but as sunset dawned, he knew it would have to wait until morning. The blonde wrinkled his nose at the thought of waiting all night, but knew it was the best, for Takeru's sake, too. He had still been in a bit of a haze, almost like he had been given a narcotic. Still, he seemed well aware of who he was and where he was and that eased Yamato's troubled mind a little more.

When they returned to camp, they all ate dinner and discussed Yamato's plan of leaving in the morning. With the Digimon well fed, there was no reason not to risk going across, except Takeru's condition. However, he was already more lucid by the time sleep took him.

Yamato contemplated the one thought that had been on his mind all day: Should I take the mushroom? After all, I could forget all that shit that happened to me and I wouldn't feel how I do for Takeru anymore! I could actually have a chance at being a normal human being...

The blonde decided against it, though, considering that he would be essentially nothing but a burden to the others if he pulled such a stunt. Perhaps a little was all he needed, but it was getting late and he couldn't risk doing such a thing since he would be in too much of a daze to lead in the morning. Perhaps, if I ever rejoin the others... then they could take care of Takeru, since I'm not fit to anyway.

They had found a small motel section of the park and an empty room. The beds weren't comfy, but they could easily fit the four of them and keep them out of the elements. Yamato took one bed and Takeru, the other. The Digimon all piled in Takeru's bed. Yamato laid his head back onto the pillow with a sigh and eventually, exhaustion overtook him.

He still had Takeru in his grasp, but this time, Yamato was kissing his brother eagerly, forcing the boy's lips apart. He groaned Takeru's name as he pried as deep as he could possibly go, pulling the younger one's head away with a hard yank to take a breath. He smiled at Takeru, who looked up at him, embarassed.

"Oniichan?" Takeru questioned with a husky breath.

Yamato licked his lips, "...yeah?"

And then he awoke again. Yamato coughed and tossed the covers from him, trying not to vomit on the floor. That was when he noticed a streak of light across the hardwood and turned. Takeru was standing in the doorway and heading outside. He didn't shut the door behind him. Yamato turned to the Digimon with a sick stomach and mumbled, "Some guard dogs you are." Then he got out of bed and followed Takeru.

"Oi, little brother," Yamato called as he followed Takeru through the park. "Hey."

Takeru didn't stop. He didn't even wander in a straight line. They circled the same spot a few times and Yamato wondered if he was sleep walking. "Takeru!" he demanded. When even that didn't work, Yamato grabbed the boy's wrist and shook him. Yamato looked into his brother's eyes and noted that same glazed look. The mushroom hasn't worn off yet. Come on, Takeru, we need to get you back to bed. I swear to God, I'm going to kill you when we get back for even touching those damn things in the first place-

"Oniichan," Takeru whispered. "It's cold out here."

"I'm aware. That's what happens when you wander around at night," Yamato grumbled, taking Takeru's hand in his own and starting back for the room.

"I'm scared," Takeru whispered. "I feel strange, like I'm not even here. I barely remember that I'm with my Oniichan in this strange place, in this strange world. It's like I'm not here."

"Takeru, it's just the side effect," Yamato pressed, agitated. His brother wouldn't move and stood in place, shivering in the cold of the night. "Remind me to remind you not to go anywhere near anything ever again," he snapped.

Then, Takeru embraced him, nuzzling into his waist, "Oniichan, I'm scared. I don't feel right... Make it better."

Oh...Takeru... Yamato thought. He hadn't been too preoccupied with his dream as the night before, but the images were still fresh in his mind and Takeru burying his nose into Yamato's groin wasn't helping. "C-Come..." Yamato started, "Come on. We need to get back... Takeru..."

"I'm scared," he repeated, squeezing tighter.

Yamato couldn't take it anymore and pushed the boy away. The last thing he needed was his brother knowing how he felt. It hurt him to do that, but he was growing stiff and all he wanted to do was just go back to sleep and forget it.

Takeru held an arm to his face where tears were forming, "Why did you push me away?"

Yamato groaned (out of frustration, he hoped) and started back for the room, but Takeru grabbed him again, this time from behind, his hand landing casually over a very worked up older brother. A squeak escaped the older blonde at the simple brush of skin on the outside of his jeans. "T-Takeru... Let go."

"Yamato... what's the matter?" Takeru asked, feeling up and down his older sibling's length. "What's wrong with you?"

"Ah, Takeru-!" he started, reaching for the boy's hand. "Don't... it feels... nice..."

Takeru may have been a little dazed, but he knew still what 'nice' meant. Takeru had no reason to question probing further and repeated what he had been doing merely on an investigative level and listened to his older brother pant.

"T-Takeru," Yamato grunted, falling to his knees. He pushed the boy's hand away. "You can't."

"Why not... if it makes you feel better?"

"It's just... you won't understand."

"Is this why you've been acting so weird, Oniichan?" Takeru questioned.

"What?" Yamato breathed, trying to calm himself. Takeru wandered around and sat down in front of his brother as he explained:

"You've been really distant lately. Gabumon's worried and... I am, too."

"Takeru, you just can't do what you're doing, okay? I can take care of it myself."

"But you don't have to," Takeru pleaded, meeting his brother's gaze. "You said so. We're a team, right? Actually, we're more than a team, we're brothers and we do anything for each other."

Yamato whined and started to stand, but Takeru nuzzled into him again, this time able to feel exactly what was making his brother so warm against him in the cold night air.

"Just show me what I need to do to help you," Takeru said.

You're brother is high; he's not talking right. You can't possibly. Yamato told himself. Takeru, however, couldn't read minds and started for Yamato's zipper, pulling out the muscle underneath. Yamato watched as his sibling pulled his hand away, a white streak stretching between them.

Yamato groaned again and Takeru placed his hand around his brother, gently moving it up and down. The older blonde begged to rationalize the situation, but nothing came to him. Just a blinding pleasure. His younger brother was touching him, sort of willingly, and no matter how many times he specifically ordered his hands to push his brother away again, he couldn't as a tremble replaced the command. Yamato started breathing heavier and it didn't take long for Takeru to learn what needed to be done. He moved quicker, harder, whatever made his older brother cry out into the stale air, until finally he felt a twitch in his palm and Yamato cried out really loud, calling for Takeru. It surprised the young boy at first, but then he was hit with hot, white ropes of fluid. Takeru let go of Yamato and instinctively wiped the mess away.

Yamato shuddered and doubled over himself. He knew he needed to cry over what he had just done, but if it was because it just felt so insanely good or if he wanted to leap off of a cliff, that was the real question. Either way, he could see the sun rising in the distance and he had to get this entire thing cleaned up before the Digimon wondered where they were or what the two brother's had been doing.