Lone Cats and Wolf Pack

Chapter 1- Bittersweet Truth

Author's Note: Merlin makes a decision: he and Freya will leave Camelot, escape danger and run away where no one can bother them. Will they ever find their place with fields, wild flowers, cows and a lake? Or will they always have to watch over their back, fearing not only those they run from but those they run to? Even if their protector is Lord Eddard Stark?

This is something to get my muse going. I have not been writing Falconmaster for sometime, I'm really sorry about that, but some things happened, but now everything is OK. I have always wondered what it would be like if Merlin and Freya had successfully run away, and I guess this is where we can find out. I've taken a few liberties, including that the Bastet only comes thrice a month, rather than everyday.

And yes, the chapter/narrative structure will be like the Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones) series.

Rated T for violence, angst, mentions of abuse and sexual assault, and a character imagining another nude. Should this be an M anyone?

I would really like your reviews and feedback.

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, its character; a Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones.

MERLIN

"Believe you me, it was not easy getting this!" Merlin grinned, proudly holding out the blue silk dress in his hands.

The girl who was sat on the dust filled floor in her red torn up rags looked up and cracked a smile. For a small moment, her arms slipped away from enveloping around her slender frame and she sat up, proudly like a high born princess.

"It's beautiful!" Freya beamed, with her face lighting up. She rose and took the dress from his hands and placed it before her.

Merlin breathed in, capturing the view. The catacombs were one of the least homely of places. It was filled with crumbling walls and rubble. The smell of dust was abundant in the air, but with that was the scent of the wax of burning candles. Merlin had brought five down here to make Freya as comfortable as humanly possible in a catacomb; right now, their flickering glow illuminated Freya excitedly checking out the dress.

Her face was touched with dirt, yet her smile and her eyes made her seem so innocent and unadulterately pure.

"You look like a princess," he complimented.

Freya's smile faded. "I'm not." She began folding up the dress and handed it back to him. "I can't take this." She turned away from him, her raven black hair cascading over her face and shading her eyes, which he knew were holding back tears.

The words stung deep into Merlin, his own grin fading to fear. "Freya... I don't understand..."

"You keep doing all this for me," Freya muttered. "I don't deserve it."

"What's the matter?" he asked, putting the dress down and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Nothing," Freya said, clearly lying.

Merlin sighed. "No, really, what's the matter? Why do you not deserve this?"

"I..." Freya began, but then fiercely shook her head, weeping.

"Come here." Merlin embraced her, his heart racing with anxiety. He had no idea what to do, or how to help her to see that she wasn't cursed or a monster, that he wanted to help her. "Whatever it is, you can tell me, Freya."

"You would hate me if I told you."

Merlin firmly cupped her cheeks and looked deep into her brown eyes with his blue. "Freya, I could never hate you! How could you think that? I said that I would look after you, didn't I? I said that you're not alone anymore, because I meant it, by whichever Divine Being you want me to swear it by." Merlin took a deep breath. "I know I've only known you a few days, but I truly and honestly love you, Freya."

Freya looked taken aback. "Merlin, you don't know what you say, you don't know what I'm about to tell you!"

"Then tell me!" Merlin hissed. "Please!"

Freya nodded. She leaned against the wall and slid into a sitting position. He followed suite and held her trembling hand and squeezed it reassuringly. To his relief, she squeezed back as she gathered herself.

"Merlin, there was this sorceress called Vielda. Her son once tried to come on to me. I rebuffed him, so he attacked me. I never meant to kill him, but I thought he was going to kill me or really harm me. I was scared, and he ended up dead!

"Because of that, Vielda put a curse on me: to transform into bloodthirsty monster at midnight. Every full moon, the night before and after, I have to transform. It's all my fault... the couple, the two soldiers... I try and hold the beast back, but I can't... it doesn't... I hate myself for it! I want nothing more for it to stop, I feel so helpless!"

She took a breath to let out her tears and weep.

Merlin's heart sank like lead in an ocean. The man, the woman and the two soldiers- that was her? No not her! Vielda, the sorceress, had condemned her: this was on her and her alone. His Freya was innocent, she was the sweetest and kindest of souls he had met. She was just a girl, a terrified girl who had no control over this. Suddenly, he felt his blood boil with cold fury. He silently cursed Vielda, for inflicting her like this; he cursed Halig, for kidnapping her and treating her like an animal and trying to break her soul with his chains and cage; he cursed the Druids for casting her out, for forsaking her when she desperately needed their help. Then a pang of heartache struck him like an arrow on a bullseye. Did she think that he would to the same?

"I wasn't always like this," Freya croaked. "I swear."

"I know," Merlin said hoarsely, before kissing her forehead. "I am so sorry for what that sorceress did, for what Halig and even the Druids did!" He touched his forehead down on hers. "It's not your fault."

"Merlin, please, listen to me, I'm a danger to you!" Freya cried.

"Then we'll find a way to control the beast in you," Merlin promised. "We'll find a way to restrain you when you transform."

Freya gaped at him in shock, her bottom lip trembling. "You still want me, even after I've told you that?"

"Yes," Merlin confessed. He took her little finger in his own. "I will not forsake you, Freya, on my honour. Thank you for telling me." He kissed her hand and she pulled him towards her lips, for a clumsy and wet kiss, but he didn't mind, he rather enjoyed the well meaning devotion.

"Thank you," she squeaked.

"OK, first thing's first; if you killed an animal does that help tame the beast?"

Freya nodded. "Normally one kill has been enough, but the beast will kill more if it can."

"OK, what if I were to cast an incapacitation spell when you transformed? Do you think that would help?" Merlin was hopeful, if this worked he felt he could really help Freya get peace of mind.

"I think so, it should."

"Oh wait, are you all right with me doing this?" Merlin probed as a certain thought crossed his mind. "I mean after Halig's kept you in that cage?"

Freya gave a surprised smile. "Yes, it's fine. Thanks for thinking of that."

Merlin sighed deeply, before kneeling in front of her. He took hold of her hands and said: "We can leave tonight, as soon as it gets dark. We will be together!"

Freya rose from her position, pulling Merlin up, and grinned with a new found confidence. "We'll need supplies: food, water."

Butterflies rushed through Merlin's stomach, but left for him a proud glow within. "All right! I'll try and get us some blankets, horses, a map and some coin... and that's all we'll need." He never thought he could feel so much joy from hearing those words, he never thought someone like her could come into his life and for that he felt so grateful.

"Go on, go," Freya prompted happily.

Merlin promised that he wouldn't be long and kissed her. There was a distinct smell of hyacinths on her, as well dust, hay, manure and body odour, but neither of those diminished the scent completely.

"One more thing," Merlin said, hoping she wouldn't be offended. "Please don't take this the wrong way, this is just something that will help you... feel refreshed."

He led her to a three foot ditch and ran his hand over it. "Acua lymph!"

The ditch suddenly filled with warm steamy water, with bubbles shooting up to greet their guest like children who haven't seen a parent for a long time.

Freya shot him a bemused look and chuckled. "No, I won't take it the wrong way, don't worry."

Merlin stood back and watched her test the heat with her hand. He thought of what this would be like when it would be just the two of them, when they would have a place of their own. What would it be like to run her a hot bath? To watch as the woman he loved disrobed? Exposing her soft skin so that he could run his hands over her and lather her up with soap, so he could explore and know every inch of her pale yet beautiful flesh.

"Merlin!" Freya snapped, splashing his face with water, which caught him by surprise, making him jump back. "Go, or I will push you in!"

Merlin went as red as a strawberry, realising how this must have looked to Freya. How could he be so stupid, after all that she had been through? "Oh, n-no! I am so s-sorry! I d-d-didn't... I wasn't..."

Freya laughed cheekily. "Go on, I'll be done by the time you get back. No lingering!"

Merlin breathed a sigh of relief; her laugh putting him at ease once more. "Yes, m'lady!" With that he was ascending out of the catacombs, leaving her to bathe in privacy.

He stepped out into the sunlight, heart still racing from excitement. In the distance, he could see the lilac rooftops of the castle when it dawned on him that he would be saying goodbye to all of this. Camelot was the flea markets that enriched the air with spices from across the land and sea, it was the tree farm that blossomed sweet and sour cherries, apples and other fruits. It was the homely chambers of Gaius and the mentor who had been like a father to him when he arrived about two years ago. It was Gwen and the laughs they had shared, she had always made him feel like he was home. It was Arthur and his clotpole ways and occassional bouts of wisdom and bravery to show that he would make a fine king. It was Morgana, who despite her elegant and dignified mask was terrified of the gift that she possessed, the gift that Merlin also secretly possessed and could help her to control, had the Great Dragon not told him that her dark and bitter side would win out and she would be his enemy and Camelot's enemy.

Merlin realised, as he neared his house, that this is what he was leaving behind and he would sorely miss it. Gaius and Gwen would be sad to see him go; Arthur would also miss him and need him, but never admit it. What about Morgana? She was his friend, his lonely, scared and wonderful friend, who was supposed to become a cruel witch and an enemy of Camelot, according to Kilgharrah. That couldn't be right, surely if she had enough good around her the good within would prevail? Without him, who could actually understand her and give her solace and help her to understand that she wasn't a monster?

It suddenly hit Merlin that by running away with Freya he would not only be forsaking Arthur but also Morgana, and that did not sit well with him at all. But he had to make the choice: Freya or Morgana? He had given his word, he loved her like he had loved no one else, she had wanted to spare him from the hardship by initially dissuading him from running with her. The look of complete and utter trust in her eyes, knowing that he could turn his back on her after learning her secret, returned to his mind. They could safely love each other and be themselves around each other, with no secrets whatsoever. He hoped that Morgana would forgive him one day, if she knew, for what he was effectively doing. He was sure she would.

Still, that didn't make the choice any less bittersweet.

He entered his house and straight away checked for some food. He managed to stuff some bread, cheese, apples and carrots in his backpack. In one of the cupboards there was a sheepskin water bag. Now he needed to get to his chamber, where he found his book of spells- he had a feeling that he would need that. There was also An Apprentice's Guide to Herbs and Healing that Gaius had given to him for his last birthday.

Merlin slid his belongings into the backpack and spied the bed which was unmade, as usual. In a bout of nostalgia, he folded it neatly and packed it. The bed was almost bare, like a newly built primitive hut. He needed to write a message at least, he owed that much to Gaius and Arthur. So he took out a paper sheet and quill and struggled to find the words.

Dear Gaius, I thank you for taking me in, protecting me and taking care of me. Giving me everything I have, teaching me everything I know. I promise that I will never ever forget you. Please try and forgive me for this, but I have to go and give what you have given me to someone else. I know you'll make a fine adviser to Arthur when he becomes King. I know that whatever pain I cause you by leaving, whatever void I leave, you'll find a way to fill it.

Look after Morgana for me, Gaius. Do for her what you have done for me. She really needs it, now more than ever.

Please try and understand why I have to leave. Please try and forgive me. I am young and foolish. I have found someone, I'm safe and happy, and we have to go away for our sake, and for the sake of everyone else.

Like I said, I will always remember you and be thankful to you.

Yours always,

Merlin.

Somewhere into the letter, Merlin began to shed silent tears, before wiping them away quickly. He tried to compose one for Arthur, but couldn't get anything down- could he even risk a goodbye?

Suddenly, the door flew open. Merlin jumped, pulling the letter behind him. "Gaius!"

"Sit down, Merlin, I need to talk to you," the old man huffed. "There's been another attack."

"Oh, that's terrible," Merlin feigned, sitting down. "Do you know what caused it?"

"Well, there were human footprints leading away from the bodies, but the wounds inflicted were definitely the work of a beast, and one of the victims mention a large winged black cat before he died," Gaius informed.

The work of a sorceress, not beast! "That is strange," Merlin agreed.

"I thought so too, until I remembered what Halig said about the Druid girl," Gaius said. "Merlin, I want you to listen to me very carefully. The Druids never turn people away, yet they did with her."

"Shame on them," Merlin said coldly.

"That's not all," Gaius continued. "The Ancient Chronicles speak of a heinous curse that dooms its victims to turn at the stroke of three midnights per moon: at the eve of the full moon, the night of the full moon and the night after. The curse turns the victim into a vicious bloodthirsty beast called a Bastet: a monster that inhabits the twilight world and death."

She's not a monster, she's a person! An innocent victim who never chose to be this way! Merlin thought. "Quite morbid," he commented.

"Merlin, I want the truth now," Gaius ordered. "Did you release the Druid girl from the cage?"

"I did not," Merlin responded. Gaius studied him hard, he hoped that his face was stoic and it showed nothing about what was underneath. His mentor's gaze seemed to impale him, like a beam from a burning torch held close to a criminal to help with a confession.

"Good," Gaius said, seeming satisfied. "Because that bitch is a vile murderer."

Merlin's heart froze. Never had he heard of Gaius speak of anyone like that, especially not a woman. "What?"

"Halig can have his bitch, the sooner we're rid of her-"

"Her name is Freya! Don't call her that!" Merlin roared, making Gaius jump back. Suddenly, he realised his mistake but it was too late.

"So you do know her, don't you?" Gaius investigated. "And you knew about her curse?"

"Gaius, please," Merlin begged, all confidence and resolve starting to crumble. "It's not her fault, she was cursed for defending herself from a man who tried to attack her! She is terrified of herself and hates herself, she needs help!"

"I know," Gaius nodded. "I understand. I really do, I was young once too. But love has a habit of blinding you. Merlin, she has killed and she will kill again, she can't help it."

"But I can!" Merlin protested. "If she's restrained when she transforms, she won't kill!"

Gaius shook his head. "Merlin, the Druids never turn anyone away, yet they did with her. Besides, how will you restrain her? Where will you restrain her?"

"Away from Camelot," Merlin replied firmly.

"Are you saying what I think you are, Merlin?" Gaius said, alarmed. "You have only known this girl for a few days!"

"I know," Merlin said. "Gaius, I have never known anyone like her, I love her, and she loves me."

"How can you be so sure," Gaius sighed, sitting down wearily.

"She wanted me to not endanger myself by helping her, she was reluctant to let me leave everything to come with her, even though it made her happy!" Merlin orated. His throat became dry and he took a deep breath and he realised how hard he was trying to blink back tears. "She told me the truth, I could see that part of her was scared, scared that I might abandon her like the Druids did. But she told me anyway. She lost her family, lost the trust of thr Druids who were meant to protect her, was captured and chained by Halig, who no doubt wants to sell her like an animal. I won't hurt her by going back on my word, I won't abandon her. Please... don't ask me to..."

Gaius gave a small smile. "Love is peculiar thing, it's like a rose. We always think about the beautiful blossom, but we all forget the amount of nurture and effort we need to give. We remember the sweet smell, but forget the thorns that can bleed us if we're not careful. We forget that in time all flowers must wilt and die.

"I too loved a woman." Merlin looked up in surprise. "Ah yes, that look whenever an old person bursts a youngster's bubble that perhaps he didn't invent love and passion. She and I were so alike- both of us had love for healing and science, something we could always bond over. She was also very fair to look upon, with her red hair that looked like it was kissed by the deepest and warmest of fires."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," Merlin said.

Gaius smiled nostalgically. "That was when magic was still revered in Camelot, but then Uther changed his mind and the Great Purge began." He looked up as if he was struggling to remember someone who died. "There was a list of all those were suspected of having magic. I was trusted enough to get a look at the list and found that her name was on there- the woman I loved was going to be hunted down like game, I had to do something, like you. I erased her name, which gave her enough time to leave Camelot. She told me, when we were on the border between Nemeth and Camelot that she did not want me to give up my life to run with her, so I never saw her again.

"Her name was Alice, meaning noble, and that was, from her point of view, a very noble thing she did. I still think of her, dream of her as if she's next to me." Gaius sighed, letting a tear run loose.

"Gaius, I'm so sorry..."

"It's quite all right, Merlin." The old man took a sip of water before continuing. "I went to become the Court of Camelot's Royal Physician, but I still wonder what my life would be like if I went with Alice. One thing is for sure, Merlin, I would never have met you.

"I won't tell you to not run with Freya, Merlin, but just that you must understand what you're doing and the good and the hardship that is before you. If you understand that and want to take that risk, then I say you take hold of that girl's hand and you run! And don't let go, no matter what."

Merlin blinked and looked at Gaius, baffled by all of this. "You'll give us your blessing?"

Gaius nodded.

"Are you sure? Will you be all right?"

Gauis nodded again. "I will be, thank you. I'm too old to think that life stands still for anyone, I was fine before you came and I will be fine." He cleared his throat. "That's not to say I won't miss you, because it has been an honour knowing you." Both rose without a dry eye and hugged for a good few seconds.

"Thank you, Gaius!" Merlin sobbed. "Look after Arthur, Gwen and Morgana, especially Morgana." He pulled apart and gave Gaius his letter. The old man took it, but left it folded for now.

"Come on, Merlin, pull yourself together, what will Freya think if she sees you slobbering like a babe?" Gaius teased.

Merlin laughed.

"I can give you day's head start, no more. You'll need some gold, and a good few maps. A few things from the armoury should do you good. Uther will hunt you across Albion, try and make it to the coast and get a ferry across the Sunrise Sea."

A tearful Merlin hugged Gaius once more. "I'll never forget you."

"Goodbye, Merlin," Gaius croaked. "I wish you nothing but the best."

Author's Note: There goes chapter 1! Please leave a review telling me what you think. By the way, these events are occuring about season 2 episode 9 (the Lady of the Lake) from Merlin and three years before the events of A Game of Thrones.