Usual disclaimer, characters not mine, all credits to JE, not making any money etc etc.

Warning: It may take me a while to get this story finished, I will only be working on it in bits and pieces. Thanks in advance for reading :-)

SPOV

I sat on the swings in the park trying to wrap my mind around everything that had happened in the last few hours. My mind seemed to be frozen, unwilling to focus and function. Perhaps this was some sort of self-preservation mode? Everything just seemed surreal, and I was numb to the core. I felt alone, empty and broken, and somewhere in the dark recesses of my sub-conscious I wondered if I would ever recover.

Flashback…

The last few months had been great. Joe and I were steadily growing closer and I was beginning to think that maybe we would have a future together after all. Six months ago I had challenged Ranger on his flirting and when he gave me the standard "my life doesn't lend itself to relationships" speech, I called him on it. I explained that I deserved more, that I wanted more, and to either step up or stop. There was no real discussion about us or our future, he simply acknowledged he had feelings for me, agreed with me 100%, … then pushed me back to Morelli…again, but with a promise to remain friends and stop the flirting and innuendo. Stupid no relationships rule!

At the time it hurt like a bitch, and it put some strain on our friendship for a couple of weeks, but I managed to resolve my feelings and accept that although I would always love him, he would only ever be my friend, nothing more. To Ranger's credit he gave me some space to come to terms with reality, and remained true to his word, continuing to be a good friend, having my back and supporting me like he always had. I was thankful to have someone in my life who understood me and accepted me for who I am, and who wasn't tied to the influences and expectations of the Burg.

Since then, Joe and I had made some adjustments to our expectations of each other. He seemed to have mellowed a bit and we compromised on my job. I worked hard to increase my training and skill base, but also enrolled in Community College classes to broaden my horizons. I was ultimately working towards quitting bond enforcement and venturing into private investigating. I no longer did distractions for Rangeman, Jeanne-Ellen was contracted to help with these when necessary, but I still helped out with searches and occasional client meetings. Joe no longer harped on my lack of cooking and domestic skills … he didn't have to, my mother still had that one covered….. and we seemed to be heading towards accepting that if we wanted to be happy together then we had to have an unconventional relationship by Burg standards. I would continue to work in a field considered inappropriate for women, and not live up to the Burg's Susie homemaker standards, and we continued to enjoy ball games, pizza, and movies together, but I was yet to convince Joe that dancing or a meal at a nice restaurant were worthwhile activities for us.

We also tolerated each other's crazy assed families. Marriage and kids were subjects we agreed to avoid for now until we had our work lives sorted out. We had actually stood shoulder to shoulder on this point and stone walled our families and the Burg busy bodies, telling them all to mind their own business… that we were going to do things our way. This was probably the most amazing change in Joe that single-handedly made me think that perhaps we could do this after all. He was respecting my choices and that made me fall in love with him just a little more every day. Marriage and babies (or let's face it, baby, singular) did not scare the crap out of me anymore.

Overall life was good. Maybe that should have been my warning. My life rarely sailed along smoothly let alone was ever classified as "good". Life as I knew it was going to be severely tested and questioned, all within the space of a few short hours.

Joe had been working undercover for the last 5 weeks and I was expecting him home tomorrow. I was at the market trying to choose between the two new flavours of Ben and Jerry's ice-cream when I ran into Maria Solazzo who lived up the street from Joe. She mentioned that Joe was back, that his truck appeared in his driveway only an hour ago. So I raced home in excitement and primped and preened myself to welcome Joe home and show him how much I had missed him. Once I deemed myself appropriately dressed for a night with my Italian Stallion I drove over to Joe's, collecting pizza and beer on the way. I figured he was either tired or bogged down in laundry and unpacking and so hadn't had time to call yet. This bought a smile to my face as I imagined his surprise at my turning up unannounced to welcome him home and show him some care and attention….just like a good girlfriend should.

Smiling with anticipation, I let myself into Joe's house and placed the beer and pizza on the coffee table. The lights were dimmed and the TV was on but Joe was nowhere in sight. Moving towards the kitchen to place the beer in the fridge my spidey sense started to go haywire. Something was off. The house was too quiet. I paused, taking in my surroundings and placed the beer on the kitchen counter. Before I could call out Joe's name my eyes landed on the empty wine bottle and two glasses beside the kitchen sink. Every nerve in my body came screaming to attention, and then I heard the unmistakable sound of a woman giggling. I felt the colour drain from my face and my stomach lurch as I realised the sound was coming from upstairs. From Joe's bedroom.

This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening … we had come so far, we had talked about moving in together. My body and mind wanted to go into denial and run, but my feet had other ideas and forced me up the stairs towards the voices.

I could hear Joe over the woman's giggles "Baby I've missed you so much, it's so good to be home…". Had someone just sucker punched me? I couldn't breathe.

The ache in my chest was excruciating as I struggled to remain in control and my feet propelled my unwilling heart towards the door. I felt the first tear run down my cheek before I even saw them …. Joe was in bed doing the nasty with none other than mob princess barbie, Terry Gilman.

I remember part of my subconscious clinically analysing the feeling of my mind and heart fracturing, and questioning why I was having this reaction rather than going all rhino on their asses. I must have sobbed, or made a noise, as Terry suddenly looked over at me in surprise. When Joe realised I was there he started babbling… the only words that registered before I turned to flee were… "Cupcake, what are you doing here? It's not what you think, I can explain …"

I raced out the house, leaving the front door wide open wide as I ran desperately to my car and took off. I was vaguely aware of Joe racing down the stairs and calling after me. I knew driving with tears streaming down my face and sobs racking my body was dangerous, I was putting myself and all other motorists at risk. So I found a safe place to pull over as my tears and heartache consumed me. The pain and anguish was overwhelming and I screamed at the inky blackness of the night and bashed my hands on the steering wheel in disbelief of what I'd seen.

No, no, nooooo…..! Not again! Are all men lying cheating bastards? Joe knew how long it took me to get over my first husband's indiscretions. Why would he do this to me? We'd discussed our future together, why would he cheat? Was I that much of a loser? I knew I should be angry instead of having a pity party. But I couldn't help myself, I was shattered and I needed to talk to someone, I needed a friend, I needed re-assurance, and the only one I could think of at this hour was Ranger. I don't know how long I sat in the car, but eventually my tears subsided and I managed to pull myself together enough to head to Rangeman.

It was 10:30 at night as I pulled into the underground car park at the Rangeman building on Haywood Street. I took the lift up to the control room on 5 so I could ask whoever was on duty if Ranger was around. I needed to feel his calmness and strength. Ranger has always been there for me and built me up and kept me strong when so many others over the years have tried to tear me down. He was my rock, and I needed that now more than ever. Perhaps he would let me stay tonight at Rangeman so I could fall apart in safety amongst friends. I needed time to regroup before facing Joe, my mother, and the burg.

The lift dinged to announce its arrival and I managed to walk on shaky legs towards Ranger's office and the control room. Just being in his building was helping to calm me down and give me strength.

There seemed to be more people here at this hour than would be expected. I could hear several voices, including Lester's and a woman's and was having second thoughts about coming here. But I couldn't think of anywhere else to go or anyone else I could turn to. Maybe they had a takedown happening, I knew Jeanne-Ellen was around this week but it didn't sound like her voice.

As I rounded the corner my eyes fell on a gorgeous blonde woman perched on the edge of Les's desk. She was shapely with obviously fake boobs, and dressed in a stunning sexy little black dress which probably cost more than I make in a month. Her five inch Manolo Blahnik heels made her perfect legs seem a mile long.

"You know it's inevitable Les, you know we're going to get married…" she smugly pronounced.

My brain was still in shock and not functioning from the scene at Joe's house. Les has a girlfriend? Why is he looking shocked and worried to see me? Do I look like that much of a mess? Of course I do. Is Ranger here? Everything seemed to be off kilter. Something wasn't right. Les jumped out of his chair and came to my side, grabbing my elbow to support me.

"Bomber are you OK? What's wrong? What happened?" Les asked, worry evident in his voice.

"Bomber? So you're Stephanie Plum?" exclaimed the blonde, in a breathless voice that would do all bimbos proud. "I can't believe I'm finally getting to meet you. I'm Sophia, Ric's girlfriend. Ric's told me so much about you" she gushed, holding out her hand to greet me.

At that moment Ranger, Tank, Jeanne-Ellen and Ram emerged from Tank's office. All I could do was stare dumbly at everyone, and the bimbo's outstretched hand.

Sophia turned to Ranger… "Baby, come and introduce us properly…"

It's amazing how the mind works when it's under stress, everything seems to be in slow motion. It's like being in a car accident when you realise in a split second that there's going to be a collision, you know it, you see it, you brace for it, but you're completely powerless to stop it. And in the midst of the chaos your mind latches onto details which would normally go un-noticed.

Les seemed worried and awkward, the bimbo seemed oblivious to my distress, Tank and Ram seemed confused, and Jeanne-Ellen seemed angry. I remember trying to interpret the fleeting emotions I saw in Ranger's eyes before his blank face slammed down. Was it surprise? Regret? Guilt? Uncertainty? Concern? An uncomfortable silence had descended over the floor.

"Babe..?" OK so his tone was definitely laced with concern. "Are you OK? It's not what you think, I can explain…" he said, face blank, taking a step forward and reaching for me.

I swear the world tilted on its axis from the shock that went through me. You've got to be kidding me. I can't possibly be hearing those words for the second time in one night.

It took a second, but suddenly I was hit with enlightenment and clarity, as though pieces of a puzzle all fell into place to show the big picture. I felt like I was in a dream, or nightmare to be precise, as I pulled away from Les's grasp and bolted for the stairwell, leaving the commotion that erupted behind me. Sophia was demanding to know why Ranger called me Babe, Les was swearing, and Ranger was calling out for me to stop and ordering the control room to lock down the building. Other voices and outbursts simply blurred into one.

Knowing Ranger was going to try and prevent me from leaving, I stumbled blindly down the stairs to the fourth floor where the efficiency apartments were located. There was a secure emergency exit there which led to a fire escape in the back alley. I wasn't exactly dressed for running or the night air but I didn't have a choice. I had to escape.

By the time I landed in the alley my stomach revolted and I heaved what little contents it held onto the asphalt beside the fire escape. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand I took off down the alley into the dark, rounding the corner and into the street. Flagging the first taxi I could find, I jumped in and told the cabbie to just drive. I needed to collect my thoughts while putting as much distance as I could between myself and Rangeman.

My phone started ringing as soon as I jumped in the cab. I knew it was Ranger so I turned it off. I didn't want to speak to him and I didn't want to be found. Could this night get any worse? I knew I needed to be alone to process everything that had just happened and sort through my pain and confusion.

I couldn't go back to my apartment, that would be the first place they would look. I couldn't go to my parents …. my mother would only find a way to blame all this on me, and my Father's silence would be deafening. And as much as I love my Gandma she really wouldn't be of help. I couldn't go to my sister's, we weren't that close and she wouldn't understand. Lula and Connie were ruled out, they were friends, but more likely to be interested in the gossip factor than giving me any emotional support and advice. And then there was Mary-Lou, my best friend since grade school…. she would be supportive and listen and give advice. But she was out of town for a few days.

After driving around aimlessly for 5 minutes I directed the cabbie to a local night club, a loose plan forming in my mind to lay a false trail in case Ranger or the Merry Men were inclined to try and follow me. I fished the fake lipstick tracker from my bag and shoved it down the back seat, and when the driver let me out at the club I gave him an extra twenty with instructions to drive around town for 10 minutes or until he picked up another fare. Carefully avoiding the club entrance and early patrons, I made my way through the car park and dropped the pen tracker in the industrial waste bin at the rear of the building. I knew I could be located through the GPS in my phone but as long as that remained off I was safe. I would just have to pray that there were no other trackers hidden somewhere in my bag.

The initial shock to my system was subsiding, the shakes and palpitations were slowly being replaced by a cold hard numbness. Knowing that I couldn't go home, and not wanting to go anywhere they may easily find me, I walked the few blocks to the park. My desperate need for comfort and support had been brutally replaced by a need to run and hide.

I kept to the shadows, hiding whenever a suspicious vehicle passed by, and eventually made it into the kids playground where I collapsed on the swings … and so here I am now… wondering what the hell just happened to life as I knew it. And how I could be so deceived by people I trusted and loved.

TBC