Raymond Reddington, whistle-blower behind the Ides of May conspiracy and apparently notorious world-class criminal, smiled and waved and made silly faces at babies in the supermarket. He went out of his way to help strangers reach items on inaccessible shelves and he had anecdotes and recommendations for a number of different food items ready to share with anyone who wanted to listen. He was gregarious and warm and kind, and he wasn't even a little bit afraid or ashamed to show it.

The contrast between who he was supposed to be according to the world at large and who he was around Liz was so stark, it was almost impossible to reconcile the two. Observing Red would probably afford Liz a much better education in the complexities of the human mind than the entirety of her four years of college had done.

It was strange how a chore as simple and ordinary as grocery shopping could be so enjoyable with Red at her side. The novelty of it would surely wear off in time, but for now, everything felt new and exciting. Conversely, she felt like an honest-to-goodness regular person, doing something so domestic. It felt… good. Like maybe those silly, boring fantasies she always had might be possible.

Not just possible. Desirable. And, all of a sudden, surprisingly within reach. Even as she watched Red's smiling face, the thought of that alone was at the same time exhilarating and utterly, utterly terrifying.

So much was changing for her—she was graduating, she was heading out into the real world for the first time, she was in love…

What if Jess was right? What if it was going to be Red? What if he was The One?

It was nearly as scary to think that he wasn't as it was to think that he was. Because that would mean that she might be able to feel what she felt for Red for someone else and right now, she couldn't even fathom the idea. But if she couldn't fathom feeling this way for anyone else, it meant that Red really could be it for her.

Her partner. Her future husband. The father of her children.

If Red would even want a family, that is. Would the simple life she'd always envisioned appeal to him at all? Especially after everything he'd seen and done.

All of a sudden, a thought occurred to Liz. What if he already had kids? She hadn't even thought to ask; it wasn't relevant in her previous relationships because there were never more than a few years between her and her boyfriends. Red, however, was considerably older than she was. Just because he was single now didn't mean he always had been.

"Do you have any children?" she asked, and the question must have seemed to be completely out of the blue for Red. He startled, and his expression fell in a way that made Liz immediately regret the question. She wanted to know, but she didn't want to inadvertently cause him pain.

"No. No, I don't. Not, uh… not anymore."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize…"

"It's OK," he said, and covered her hand with his on the shopping cart handle. They walked for a while, side by side, before he worked up the resolve to elaborate. The store had emptied out while they shopped, but when he spoke again, he kept his voice low so as to not be overheard by the few lingering shoppers. "I had a daughter once. When I was very young, back when my life was… normal. Or what passed for normal, anyway. What I thought was normal."

"What happened? Or would you rather not say?"

He took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. "I wish I could explain it to you, but sadly I don't know the whole truth. Sometimes I wonder if anyone does. But I do know how everything started to fall apart. I know that she's gone."

"That must be awful—not knowing," Liz said. "God, I can feel my throat closing up just thinking about it."

"Mostly, I try not to think about it. Sometimes, that's easier said than done, of course. Sometimes, it's all I can think about.

"My wife at the time was… not who I thought she was. My job was not what I thought it was. And I wasn't really who I thought I was either. The consequences of all of that were… unfortunate." He shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't undersell it that much. The consequences were catastrophic."

"Do I even want to know? I mean, of course I do, but…"

Red's lips quirked up in a fond shadow of a smile at her curiosity. "After everything happened, I became… a different person. I became a man consumed by anger. Every waking moment that I wasn't simply trying to survive, I dedicated to figuring out how to get back at whoever was responsible for what happened. Essentially, that's how I fell into the arrangement I had. Survival, with a side of revenge."

"That makes a lot of sense."

"Does it?"

"Well… yeah. You're only human. Not many people could go through a tragedy like that and come out the other side without some kind of lasting trauma. I mean, it's not exactly a healthy way to deal with it, but that doesn't mean I don't understand it." Thoughtful, she added, "I'm not sure I would do much differently, if I was in your shoes."

"God forbid," he said, earnest, as he put his arm around her shoulder and pressed a firm kiss to her temple. Liz couldn't help but lean into him, wrapping her arm around him as best as she could as they walked. In his arms, she felt cared for, protected in a way she could only hope to help him feel in return.

If Red thought his admission would make Liz think any less of him, he couldn't be more wrong. All it did was reinforce what was already her opinion of who he was—a good man in a horrible position, regardless of what he thought of himself.

The sun was starting to set by the time Liz and Red got back to her apartment. Liz unlocked the door and turned to help Red navigate his way into the kitchen with the grocery bags. They started to put everything away as quietly as they could in case Jess was napping, but soon enough her roommate wandered into the kitchen anyway, stretching a bit and biting back a yawn.

"Hey," Jess said. "You guys were gone a while. You have fun?"

"You know what? As a matter of fact, we did."

"I'm sure the, uh, grocery shopping was loads of fun," Jess teased, waggling an eyebrow.

Liz willed herself not to blush, trying not to let thoughts about how she and Red had spent their morning show on her face, rather than their afternoon. "Anything interesting happen while we were out?" she asked, nodding towards the television.

"Oh. Nothing new, no. And it's starting to drive me crazy! I wonder how long it'll take before they give us something." Jess got more riled up the more she spoke; Liz snuck a glance at Red, but he was still dutifully putting the groceries away.

"Geez, who knows? Could be a long time."

"Guess it depends how many people know anything and how long it takes before someone starts leaking."

"This sort of thing would be very hush-hush. For obvious reasons. His identity would very much be Need to Know." Liz tried not to feel guilty for dissuading Jess's enthusiasm—Liz had needed to know and it was in Jess's best interests to be kept in the dark, at least for now. No one knew for sure how things would go from this point. Not even Red. "Personally, I hope it stays quiet for a while. For his sake."

"How are we so sure whoever did this did it in good faith?"

Because I know him, Liz thought. Because he's a good man, underneath it all. But how could she translate that in a way that would be easy to understand even without the knowledge that the whistle-blower was Red?

"Well… Look at the outcome, the collateral damage. So far, have more innocent people been hurt by this, or guilty ones?"

"Guilty ones. Horrible people. The worst of the worst."

"Then I think it's pretty safe to say he didn't mean harm by it. If it's making the world a better place."

"I guess so." Jess turned to Red, who had taken a seat at the island and was following their conversation with interest. "You've been pretty quiet."

"Oh, don't mind me. I just like listening to Lizzy. I like getting a glimpse into how her mind works," he said quietly, his expression serene; truth be told, he looked rather love-struck. Liz couldn't help but smile at him.

"Boy, have you got it bad," Jess said.

To Liz's surprise, Red ducked his head shyly and blushed, putting his hand over his heart. "Guilty as charged. Lizzy sees the world for what it could be, not just how I think it is, or for the lies I tell myself about it," he said. "Everyone should be so lucky to have someone like that in their lives. To remind them what it's like to have hope for the future."

"Wow. Yeah. That'd be… that'd be nice." Jess shook herself and cleared her throat, blinking with suspicious speed. "God. What's wrong with me? I shouldn't be jealous of something like that."

"You'll find someone who makes you feel like that, Jess. I'm sure you will."