Orange

.

She brought sunflowers again the next day.

He saw another orange headphone in his dream.

He clenched his chest, suddenly feeling something precious had been snatched away with force. Cursing under his breath, he breathed and breathed after finding there was barely any oxygen available for him to breathe. He felt numb, and then his ears caught the sounds of someone crying.

Looking back, the 'haunting' man he remembered was sitting on his usual spot, with chains binding his ankles and wrists. It was rare for him to cry, when Haise was about to reach the man, the image changed into a woman constantly saying… "Choosing both, losing both." – "And he's going to disappear too, like all of your friends did."

Then, blood stained the flowers (where did that came from?) beneath him and he saw, everything going black. Just before that, the headphone was crimson blood no longer orange.

Another came, he was at the church this time. The soft sounds from the piano calmed his heart, who was playing? It was a man, with an odd fashion. Wrinkling his nose, the sounds suddenly became louder and harsher—was the man furious? "Do you now know how I would live without you?" through the sobs, he could hear it. "please, I'm not seeing you as an object for me to eat so I beg of you—"

There was someone behind him—no, five. "It's not your fault," a sturdy man put his hand on his shoulder. "Onii-chan." Feeling a slight tug to his sleeves, he looked down. "Come on, teach me some more kanjis."

A café came into mind. "Welcome to An—"

Once again, all of them disappeared. And all he could do was to scream.

Haise fluttered his eyes open, his hand stopping the clock from ringing any further. Groggily, he sat up to his bed. Weird dream, he patted his pillow and realized there were tear stains on it—giving the reason why his eyes felt so puffy.

"Hey," She tugged his hand with hers too, pinky finger with pinky finger. Her eyes searched for him, "are you okay?"

He smiled and nodded, using his other hand to go to his chin. "So, you like sunflowers?" he asked to her, noticing a small bouquet filled with the said flower. It felt awfully familiar to him, though he can't understand why.

She pursed her lips together and shrugged her shoulders, "It's for my friend." She explained, "…I wasn't that familiar with him, but he was a good friend to my friend. I just thought, sunflowers fitted him because someone always said he's his sunshine or something," she laughed although he knew it didn't reach her eyes.

Haise continued to talk, "Where is he?" you already know the answer to that, don't you? He regretted the fact that he asked that.

"I don't know."

He felt the sudden urge to cry as the image of an orange headphone came into mind again.

Touka knew she shouldn't have said that kind of thing to him. But her body reacted otherwise, and she hated herself for it. What's worse was she thought it was a good thing to say that to him. She put the sunflowers to a small bottle of water in her house while he sat there on the kitchen, oddly silent.

She had this routine ever since she knew Nagachika-san is reported MIA, thinking that this is the most she could do, doing this every week—hoping he would come back and be by Kaneki's side. The idiot was everything to him, she didn't mind, she actually supported them. It was like Yoriko is to Touka. He also told her stories about him during the time Kaneki was gone, off doing his 'heroic' deeds.

She regretted how she never repaid his favor back until he was missing.

Touka made coffee afterwards, finishing it with a latte art. She put it in front of her boyfriend, smiling. "Drink it, it'll make you better."

He blinked then leaned in to her, kissing her forehead. "Thanks. I'm sorry."

He tried the coffee, it was really bitter.

You're just scared; you're just a coward who won't do anything. Haise hid his face with his hands, "Sorry, I really am a coward…" he laughed bitterly, before slapping his cheeks red, looking at the sky above him.

"Sensei?" someone's presence shocked him, as he blinked while regaining his composure. "Oh, Mucchan." He realized smiling at his subordinates, realizing it wasn't only Mutsuki; Saiko and Shirazu were there too. Maybe Urie was off by his own again, that brat.

Mutsuki looked at the other way and joined Haise, sitting beside him as the others followed. "Is something bothering you?" he asked carefully, afraid if he was going to hit a nerve.

Mother mother—

"Maman, have you found Papa?" Saiko asked rather bluntly, shocking them all as Shirazu scolded her. 'What are you saying, Saiko?!' The only girl of the group pouted, searching for reasons. "Maman's face looks like the faces when the protagonist is debating on should s/he should confess or not."

Shirazu groaned, "It's only in a game…!"

"Nope, I saw that in the TV."

Haise laughed seeing the two bicker as Mutsuki tries to calm them down, he scratched the back of his head, feeling embarrassed. "What Saiko-chan is saying isn't that wrong either," he confessed. "but it's more like… I'm slowly remembering."

"The visions I saw, the dreams I kept having, slowly every one of them—I can remember it." He sighed, clenching his fist. "Since I know I wasn't Sasaki Haise back then, I'm a bit afraid, maybe."

They were silent, looking at each other's eyes and then at the trembling body of their mentor.

He felt arms wrapping him into a tight hug, knowing fully it's Saiko before looking at her. "Maman will still be maman." She said simply. "The maman who always cooks us food, teaches us, giving us foods, games, dramas, animes—"

Shirazu rolled his eyes, "Is food and games are the only thing in your mind? Damned otaku." He looked over to his mentor and grinned, "Sassan, if that's the only thing you're worrying about, then its okay. It's not like we'll leave or anything once you're not you."

…You guys can say that because you don't remember that time, he bit his lips, thinking bitterly. Yes, once they know they will leave, and you'll be alone, Haise—just like us. He wondered, who were 'us'? As long as he remembered, he never saw 'them' he only saw a 'he'.

"Sensei," Mutsuki started. "Please have more faith in yourself, and to us."

"Sassan! The sky is orange, look." Shirazu pointed out suddenly, eyes gleaming with excitement. "The city actually looks its orange."

"…It's beautiful."

Orange is bitter, yet it could be sweet at times, mostly bitter.

I will always think of you, even when darkness comes, Haise thought about it for a while before sighing and patted the dust over his shoulders, "Alright, we should have a feast tonight. Saiko-chan, since we're out of meat, do you want to come?"

The said half-ghoul nodded her head with excitement, already drooling with the thought of meat. "Shirazu and Mucchan, do you want to come too?"

They shrugged, "We'll pass."

Haise smiled, it really reached his eyes this time. "Let's go then, Saiko-chan."

This time it was a different scene.

Rather than a blood filled field of flowers, it was filled with colors, every flower different each squares. And the sky was bright orange, a nice melody playing, and the resonance up to his ears. Something was odd; he never had this kind of dream before. Usually it was gentle before then it would get rougher, brutal but… this was different, there was no signs of changing into something like that.

He liked this.

He sincerely hoped it would last like this forever, but it didn't. "Haise…" the voice called again, right before him. He braced himself for another scream coming from the 'creature' but it didn't; instead, it wrapped himself to Haise.

Haise was flabbergasted. This never happened before, he looked behind, and it… was a child? Two of them, one had black hair and one had white. He suddenly felt an ache coming, looking at the two of them. And he cried with the two of them, together, wrapped in each other's embrace.

"…We're sorry," they said in unison. "It's our entire fault you became like this."

"No… what are you saying?" Haise found himself replying to them, wiping the tears. "You two are me; if it's your fault then it's mine too. It's no one's fault. You two…created me, from nothing into this."

Live, live without hurting others. It's better to be hurt, rather to be the one who hurts other.

Haise looked down to them as they nodded. Then they looked behind, in which there was a silhouette of someone, wearing an orange headphone. The orange sky fitted the way he wore his headphones and hair.

His breath hitched as he walked closer, putting his hand on his shoulder, assuring him with a nod as his grin blinded Haise.

Yes, let's go home together, 'kay?

Suddenly the three of them gave him a black box,

They walked together, side by side, not knowing where it might lead them.

I might disappear sooner or later

Even so I…

Want to give her something.

Touka was called to the bridge after her shift ended. After changing to her usual clothes, she hurried off, after texting the half-ghoul that she's on her way. Weird, was what she thought, why would Haise call her to a place like that, and a time like this? It almost gave her a weird throbbing feeling.

After she arrived, she found Haise already waving his hand to her, smiling brightly. She let out a silent laugh, catching up to him. "Shithead, what's the matter, again?"

"Nothing, well, it's not nothing—"

She rolled her eyes, "Get on it."

Haise shrugged his shoulders, "Well then," He pointed to the river beneath them. "want to take a dip?"

"I'm still wearing my clothes."

"Hmm…"

"I didn't bring any changes let alone a towel."

"Hmmm…"

"For God's sake, Haise! I'm going to kill you for this!"

"Now now, Touka-chan. I'm also wearing my clothes, you know? Here, I'm also at the same side as you." He sneaked up behind her, arms to her waist, hugging her tightly. Touka tch-ed, before jabbing him on his stomach making an oof sound. "Ouch-that hurts, Touka-chan!"

She huffed, fixing her wet locks. "Consider that as a payback for throwing me to the river. What if I can't swim? What if I drown? As long as I remember, in biology, drowning is—"

Splash.

"Then I'll be your knight in shining armor," He grinned childishly; and it soothed her, how he could smile like that, how he kept scrunching his nose, how he gave her puns after that, almost like he didn't have any worries at all. He looked like a child.

She always dreamt of him, both sides of him being this happy, not being a hero in a tragedy story. And this almost looked like that. "Oh shush, I never knew a knight in shining armor is this lame."

Splash, "Okay not that's rude. And it's on, Touka-chan." Another splash.

After their childish engagement of 'splash war' as Haise would call it, they dried up their selves with the towel Haise brought for the two of them as she scolded him to never do something like this again. But he merely ignored it and continued bobbing his head to remove the water from his hair. "Here, let me." He offered when she dried off her hair.

She sighed in bliss when he gave her massage as well to her scalp. "Rather than a knight, you would fit more to be a healer in games." She stated, thanking him for it then helped him dry off his hair in exchange.

"Really? I rarely play any games, Saiko-chan's the one who usually plays it." He closed his eyes, enjoying how her hands raked his hair smoothly. "You should come over to play with her, someday."

"Yeah, someday."

Silence followed. Only the birds were making sounds, as well as the activities the city did. "Hey," he called her. "Let's say, hypothetically… if I were to change, or not be Sasaki Haise, would you still…?"

Touka groaned, "I thought I said this before." She changed her position, facing him right in the face, putting their foreheads together. "No matter what, you're still you. Even if you were to be changed or anything," or revert back to him—"It doesn't make any difference. I love you and that's all that matters." She kissed the tip of his nose, smiling.

Haise laughed,

And then silence greeted them again.

They liked this kind of silence.

Slowly, they entangled their hands together while watching the sunset.

I—we might disappear soon.

But still, a slight happiness… isn't bad, right?

Another 'hey'

She glanced to him.

His eyes searched for hers

We want to give her happiness

His grip tightened around her

We also want to be happy as well, for once

His lips opened, to say the three words he was itching to say

"Let's get married."

notes; let's get married bruh, once the words came out from a manga I was reading this idea came out. This kind of fitted though, since I wanted this to end sooner or later anyway bruh. i'msorry. and when will i update regularly too i'm such a lame excuse of an author

the ending to tga already wrecked me then kimi uso appeared. and that is why i put hide there because i can't help it. maybe this will end in about two chapters? idk. thanks for all your reviews last time! as usual, ask me if you have anything in mind then I'll try to put it in here. I love you guys, bye! (ps; thanks for your wishes i won the contest)