Caffeine

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"You shithead, come here."

"I thought I was pudding-head," He chuckled—oh how she missed that sound, as cliché as it may sounds. But darn, did she hate how it sounded very similar to him.

Another dream; another scream. Once again, Touka took the time to calm herself down from those haunting images that was still lingering in her mind—(touka-chan touka-chantouka-chan) breath, breath, breath; remember to breath, Touka. She continued that mantra over and over again.

Touka blew her bangs from her eyes, looking at the clock. It was already tomorrow, she bit her pink lips, suddenly feeling her stomach churn; the same thing that happens every year, at this very day.

It has been more than two years already, or was it five? She lost count. Days weren't that much of an importance anymore since there was no gifts to wait—

No.

Forget about it, it was just unimportant to her to count days. Just, just…

Yep. It wasn't important. (or at least she thinks so)

The thing she most remembered about this day in every year was—a gigantic birthday cake made by her best friend, Yoriko. It never failed to make her happy but disgusted as well by the scent, the size, and urgh, especially the taste. If she wasn't a ghoul, then she would just happily gulp all of them down-even forgetting about what woman cares the most, diet.

"Thanks, Yoriko." She tried her best to hide her disgust from it with a smile—it's a waste to throw the cake out, and Yomo was on the 6th ward for a while; she had to eat it and… she wondered if she could do that.

("aren't you going to throw it out? … What a nice friend you are, Touka-chan." He smiled kindly)

Yoriko didn't mind the uneasiness feeling residing her every year, she always felt that Touka didn't want the cake but—she never protested and talk to her about it, anyway. Once, she had forced Touka and it led to a fight which they swore not to do again.

Touka even made her a meal afterwards, though it wasn't that delicious—but, it was capable of bringing tears to her eyes. She shrugged the thought and looked at her friend expectantly, a smile on her face.

"Well then, Touka; when will you be ready for work? It's our first day—we better not be late."

Oh.

O h. Right, it was their first day at that café; ever since that incident, Yoriko kept bugging her nonstop about Anteiku, worried about her wellbeing and almost suspected that she was a ghoul but nonetheless, Touka managed to evade the fact by saying another… another lie("Yoriko, do you really think that I am one of… those?" she hoped her voice didn't crack, "If I was, you're surely be eaten right now. Please, I'm not…" Yoriko told her to stop, covering Touka's mouth with her trembling fingers and just smiled.)

"Oh yeah, I'll be ready in a sec."

When she turned her back to the blonde, she grimaced at how she must come back to those days, faking a smile to the customers and being very, very patient when she is not.

Good grief.

"Touka-chan, you look so cute wearing that!"

Rather than being flattered, she scowled at the dress she wore—this fucking dress, can't they have normal vest like Anteiku does instead of a frilly apron? No. She was not going to wear this. "Is there anything else? Except for this apron?"

Yoriko frowned, "There is but… you look cute wearing that,"a bit of hesitation, before she blurted out again; "Men would check you out for sure… maybe, you could finally forget about him?" She was scared if her words will affect Touka again, but she had to say that—her friend never talked about him, but she knew, she knew.

(he would love to see you wear that dress.)

"I'm changing." Was what Touka said before taking off her apron and looking for a beige vest, not looking at Yoriko. She suddenly felt dizzy again, as hazy images of him started to appear again.

In the end, the manager let her wear another uniform but it still wasn't the same; but at least it was decent enough, a navy blue shirt with a beige tie, short trimmed black skirt and underneath it were dark leggings with white leather boots.

Quite the opposite of her, Yoriko wore almost the same clothing but with more colors and unlike Touka, her hair was in a low ponytail, giving her a fresh look. "Do I look okay?" She asked, twirling her locks.

Touka smiled kindly, patting the other's shoulder. "You do, don't worry."

It was running pretty smoothly; given by her experience at Anteiku before, she had no problems dealing with the customers and adapting to the café. She had to help her friends a few times though, since it was her first experience being a waitress.

Touka sighed, before greeting a customer that had just entered; "Welcome—" Her breath hitched.

(she believes he will come back, he, Kaneki Ken.)

He wasn't just as like she remembered, his height, eyes, cheeks, hair—everything changed, but nevertheless—it was him. Who wouldn't forget that gentle smile (he gave to her), that aura he had… There was no way it wasn't him, it was him, himhimhimhimhimkanekiken.

She probably looked like a fool, standing there with her mouth agape and eyes brimming to tears. "Kane—"

"Sasaki-san, it's you again!" A voice stated from behind her; her manager. He walked past her and greeted… Kaneki as…Sa-sa-ki-? Touka closed her mouth and stared. "Won't Akira-san be mad at you for ditching work?"

The Kaneki look-a-like frowned, but smiled afterwards, elbowing her manager playfully (no, this wasn't him) "I'm not ditching work, aren't you glad to have a regular here? Now my regular coffee, please." (where is he, where is he?)

After that, the white haired man—oh, there was some black on his roots—walked to the desk as if he was always seated over there. Suddenly feeling a gaze over him, he looked at her as their eyes met.

Touka snapped out from her trance and looked away immediately, giving the most usual stance, as if to pretend that she never looked at him, and they never did. Great, it was her birthday and God had to give her this kind of present?

She breathed out, looking up, massaging her head; of course it wasn't him. Why would you think it was him? Stupid, stupidTouka.

It was already a week after she started working at the café, so far no problems going on except for the fact that the Kaneki-look-a-like came to the café almost every day—drinking his black coffee and staring at the piling documents before him. It looks like he was in a company or something; he didn't bring any briefcase so he wasn't a CCG, she thinks so.

But of course, things were always not as expectation; a customer screamed, pointing at her face as unwanted attention started to start. "You! That waitress from Anteiku-!" was he said, throwing his fist to the table. "Damned ghoul! Why are you still alive?!"

With that sort of topic, everyone basically gasped in disbelief, the new, beautiful waitress was a ghoul? Unbelievable! Whispers started, stares started, critic started; Touka bit her lips, so this customer was a regular at Anteiku? Ha, she barely remembered him.

"Dear customer, please don't make a ruckus—" Touka started, a smile on her face before flinching when her wrist was gripped in a tight one. "Please let go,"

Oh. It was an old man—disgusting, how Touka wanted to blurt that out and just kill him instantly; she never liked dealing with these kinds of people. "Ruckus? I say that you're the one who's making it! Get out of this place, piece of shit! You're disturbing the peace in Japan—you and your kinds, just go eliminated by the CCG already!"

The others stared,

her manager stared,

Yoriko stared, sending worried glances to her. She sighed, was this ruckus going to get her fired? Man, what a waste.

The man threw a fist at her—her kagune jolted, almost coming out—as a white blur covered her vision. "It's not really polite to suddenly hit a lady like that…"his voice—no, it was that look a like, not him, remember, Touka—said, "Ouch, you sure punch hard."

"But, back to the point, what were you doing? Trying to hit that hard to a girl."

A protest came from the man, "She was a ghoul, and she was no girl—she's a heartless, wrecked, filthy monster-"

Touka exhaled, hands gripping her skirt, "Please, let me finish." Her eyes gazed at the plate, milk, sandwich, milk, sandwich, milk—"Excuse me." And she ate the sandwich. Thank god, the man ordered a sandwich and it wasn't eaten yet. She pretended to chew it and gulped it down, sighing. "I am no ghoul, I'm a human being. Mister, maybe you're just seeing things."

"But—"

And suddenly, her manager came. "Please get outside, my customers are getting bothered."

She poured the coffee perfectly, in a perfect heat and amount. The scent of the black coffee was alluring—this was the most expensive bitter coffee in the café. Her manager had said that her…'savior' (she could have handled that situation) likes bitter coffee, and time to time would order this, his favorite brand.

Her head looked up, looking at the sitting figure, glancing left and right at his documents, looking much stressed out. She breathed in, and walked to him. He noticed a new cup of coffee before him, and looked at her, wide eyes.

"Um," Touka coughed, shyly twirling her fingers—man, this act was troublesome. "Thank you, er, for earlier. Was a greathelp—manager told me—you like this coffee." But no, this was no act—half of her was very nervous; after looking at a closer distance, this man really looks like Kaneki, maybe a few years older. Damn, she knew that he wasn't him, but, but, but.

He smiled, then bam! She thought her body would succumb to her mind that instant; to hug him, to cry for him, to punch him, a complete stranger. "Nah, it's alright." He waved his hand. "Though it's not allright since I still have my left, eh…?" he hid a chuckle.

Awkward stare at each other, before Touka broke it with a cough. "Anyway, here, a salve to put on your left hand, because you're not… alright?" She awkwardly finished, tilting her head.

The stranger scratched his chin—o h, his habit was the same as well; Touka figured. "Um, thanks." He gladly accepted it, opening and putting it on his purple arm. "Erh, I haven't gotten your name yet,"

Touka blinked, "Kirishima Touka, mister."

"Sasaki Haise."

"Kirishima-san,"

Touka grunted in response, turning her head to meet eye-to-eye with her new found… stalker, was that a good way to put it? Maybe, yes. Considering that the man came to the café a lot more often and would ask her as his waitress for the day—it's for work, she said yes begrudgingly. His excuses were always; 'Because I love the coffee in this café, and the atmosphere.' And the cheesiest of them all… 'Because you're here, Kirishima-san."

But the last only happened a few times, and started two weeks ago; one month after they knew each other names and started talking with each other; first, it was just a simple 'welcome, hello, thank you for coming.' But it was soon followed by 'is your work doing well? The coffee is good, would you like more coffee?' almost all of it were work related, until Sasaki braved himself to ask about Touka's life and his own—Toukaanswered them all, albeit a bit reluctant at first.

"What?" She asked, sighing while putting off her usual façade at work, which means that—she was already used by Sasaki himself. "The usual?"

He grinned—gods, what beautiful smile he has—wait, what?"Of course, I'll be waiting." And soon after that, he led himself to his usual table, the one near the window. She sighed in exasperation, another day dealing with him, it was really bad for her heart, and she never stopped thinking about Kaneki when she was near him. She wanted to just ignore him and decline all of his invitation and keep her personal life alone but—why can't she say 'no'?

She shook her head and prepared the coffee. While she was doing that, Yoriko approached her with a smile and poked her cheek. "Sasaki-san is here again, right?" She teased, as Touka grunted, nodding. "Touka-chan, he totally likes you."

"Nice joke; but I'm not getting tricked." She mumbled, "that damned pudding-head already gave me enough of his crappy jokes 'til I snapped."

Yoriko pursed her lips together—a pout? She held both ofTouka's shoulders, making the other looking at her with wide eyes. "Listen, it's rare for me to say something like that, so when I do, it's not a joke." Touka rolled her eyes, "It's finally time; you need some romance in your life, Touka-chan! I mean, Sasaki-san is quite handsome, and his personality is ideal too."

"Then, why don't you hit on him?"

"Nah, no chance." She puffed her cheeks, "He's smitten with you."

Touka grimaced at the thought, and then shrugged, releasing Yoriko's hold of her. She continued brewing the coffee, "Yoriko, you know that I can't." She smiled bitterly, the image of Kaneki coming again—when would there be a day where she could not think of him? "I still… can't forget, about, you know."

Her friend just shrugged in response, at that time, the coffee was ready. "I know, but hoping isn't a bad thing. But if you're really annoyed by him, I guess you could just ignore him-"(she wish she could) Taking a breath, Yoriko pushed Touka lightly, carefully not letting the coffee slip. "Now go serve your prince!"

Pfft, prince? She mentally thought, looking at Sasaki. More like a puddinghead

(a very cute one)

"Here is your order, Sasaki-san." Touka started, putting the cup in front of the man. "Another day full of work or nothing?" She made a face, which made the other grin.

Sasaki put his chin on his palm, leaning to the table. "Of course work, but who do you think I came here for?"

"My manager? Just go do gay-things outside the café and I'm alright with it."

He almost spit all of his coffee—good, it was a pain to clean it over. Sasaki wiped his mouth with a tissue, holding down another laugh. "Kirishima-san, as much as it flatters me; I'm not gay, thank you very much."

She shrugged her shoulder, "People will know the truth soon, and it doesn't make any difference anyway." The other replied with rolling his eyes and taking another sip, she bowed and left for another customer's order but stopped when she heard him calling her name. "What is it, Sasaki-san?"

In response, he looked at the other way and scratched his chin with his finger—nervous. A slight tinge of pink appeared on his cheeks, as he opened his mouth; "Kirishima-san, can I have your number?"

("maybe, you could finally forget about him?- I know, but hoping isn't a bad thing. But if you're really annoyed by him, I guess you could just ignore him-")

Ignore him

Say no, no, no.

Just say that fucking word; no. It's not that hard, ain't it? You just need to distance yourself—you don't need that man, he would just bring you memories about him—

no

no

no

her lips opened,

no.

but of course, like in any other stories of romance; she said yes, okay.

A text followed late at night, it was from him, and she didn't delete it. She pushed the 'save' button instead.

"You shithead, come here."

"I thought I was pudding-head," He chuckled—earning a snort from her, well, at least he didn't get punched by her. He didn't know how powerful the girl was, but he did not want to test it. Nevertheless, he came closer to her, step by step, intertwining their fingers together. "Do you mind?"

There was no jolt from her, or a protest. Sasaki smiled, taking that as a no.

("Hey, give me back my phone back." She protested, reachingfor her phone, tip toe-ing because of their height difference—embarrassing, she wondered if people are looking at them. "People will start to look at us, give me back my phone."

He didn't, and opened the 'contacts' with ease. He faked a hurt tone, and looked at her, "What, you saved my number as 'pudding head?' I know my hair does look like it but you could at least name it Haise or Sasaki—the way you usually address me."

Touka crossed her arms together, bringing her hood to her head. "I will, once you give me back my phone."

Sasaki shrugged, giving it back. "Well, at least you saved my number."

And Touka pinched him when she saw the newly edited name of him—cheesy, it was honey. She instantly put a hand to her mouth, stifling a laugh. After Haise led her to her house, she changed the name again, of course, as pudding-head with a plus of 'a cute one')

1.

Their first date—well, technically, it's not really a date but—was after closing time; he waited for her shift to finish and he walked her home. Before reaching her home, they talked about lot of things near the river, staring at the reflection of the stars. ("Hey look, it's a shooting star!" – "What are you, a kid?" – "Oh come on, just make a wish." (she wishes everything would be just as relaxing as this))

2.

Their second date was at the amusement park. As a souvenir, he bought her a doll—a rabbit one. She put it next to her desk, stealing glances to it once she finished an equation.

3.

Their third date, he was surprised when he saw a tear rolled from her eyes. That was the first time they fought.

Notes: so i was fangirling again over tg,and i havent even finished readjg the manga but oh spoilers r enough, i cant help but to write this;sasaki is kaneki and its official or at least i think(hope) so -insert gross sobbings here-

second part coming tomorrow if things goes well, also im sorry for errors i typed this on my phone so (this is edited already ok)

leave me a feedback if you liked this :) Thank you very much!