Stay

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to their respective owners.

A/N-I want to thank my beta on this chapter SCFIROMANCE who gave me such amazing advice, encouragement and help with this story! Nikki :)

Part Two

Chakotay rested his forehead against Seven's and watched as she closed her eyes in blessed relief. The burden she must have been carrying on her shoulders since her fraught conversation with the Admiral must have been unendurable. He felt anger well up in his gut, that he only just about managed to hide from Seven's curious eyes; she had opened them again and was studying him carefully.

"I was only thinking of you." She whispered.

Chakotay let out a small sigh as he caressed her face gently with his fingers. He saw a faint blush coat her cheeks and her vivid blue eyes widen as she tried to detect from his expression alone exactly what was going through his mind at that moment. He put his hand under her chin and raised her head a little as she ducked away from his stern gaze. Chakotay could already sense her unease returning. His assurances had still not stemmed the tide of doubt and worry that the Admiral had knowingly plunged Seven into. His anger increased exponentially. Seven had been used, there was no other term for it. Yes, the Admiral had probably thought she was doing the right thing to achieve her own aims and, in a way, assuage her own guilt about plunging Voyager and it's whole crew on this endless journey so many years ago, but that did not give the woman the right to manipulate Seven.

"Seven, listen to me. You were right to tell me. The Admiral was wrong to say those things to you. No future is certain. Whatever happens to either of us, even years from now, will be worth the journey in my eyes. Please say that you believe me?" Chakotay said earnestly.

The fierce intensity in his dark eyes and the way he stared into her own finally convinced Seven that he was sincere. Still, she held onto a fragment of guilt that she had been weak enough to allow herself to be persuaded to open up about what the Admiral had confided in her. Had she been selfish? Yes, most definitely. But on the other hand, who was she to decide Chakotay's fate? That was his decision alone. And he had made it firmly. He wanted a future with her, that was now very clear to her. No matter how frightening things could become for them, or the whole crew, as the journey into the unknown continued, Seven now knew that for the first time in her life, she would not be treading the path alone. Now she would have this strong man beside her. He would carry some of the burden that she wore around her like an invisible cloak. Whether it had been right or wrong, Seven was glad she had confided in him. To her that was a testament to the faith and trust she placed in him.

"I believe you." Seven whispered. Her eyes became moist although she managed not to shed any tears. Her metallic covered hand, a clear indicator of the Borg still within her, wrapped around his for a second time as she saw him incline his head toward hers as he leaned in for a kiss.

Captain Janeway passed her older self a cup of black coffee. She watched in amusement as the Admiral bent her head over the metal cup and inhaled deeply. A beautific smile crossed the older woman's lined face as she closed her eyes and drank eagerly. The hot liquid burned her throat a little but it was worth it.

"I cannot believe I ever gave this up." The Admiral sighed heavily as she took another sip.

"I suspect the Doctor had a hand in that decision. Would I be right?" Janeway took a long drink out of her own cup. "Now that is heaven."

"Agreed." The Admiral raised her cup in a toast. "To the journey home?"

"To the journey home." Janeway was in the midst of raising her own cup when the doors to her ready room swept open and Chakotay entered unannounced. It was unusual for her first officer to avoid protocol and not announce his arrival first, so she assumed it was a matter of urgency. "What is it, Commander?" She put her cup down and became all business.

"Excuse my abrupt arrival." Chakotay's eyes sought the Admiral's. He noted that the older woman seemed to already guess why he was here. Her iron grey hair glinted dully under the overhead lights as she avoided his gaze.

"At ease, Chakotay." Janeway could sense that something was very amiss, by the tense way he was standing and the look he was throwing the Admiral. She thought using his first name would make him relax but it only increased the stiffness around his shoulders.

"I need a word with the Admiral." Chakotay asked, he tried to keep his tone even, but he struggled. He saw the Captain eyeing him carefully. She was always good at reading his moods.

"Well we are both listening." Janeway swept her hand toward him, indicating for him to continue.

Chakotay looked at the Captain briefly. His jaw was clenched, a tic along his right cheek showed the tension in his muscles. "This is a personal matter, Captain. I was hoping for a private conversation."

Janeway raised her eyebrows. "Well as she is me and I am her, it seems that your point is moot, Commander." She used his formal title again. His request had irked her. Kathryn never liked being excluded, she'd tried her best to accept the necessity of it where her future self was concerned, but to get the same treatment from Chakotay hurt.

"No offence, Captain, but the Admiral is not like you at all. Her experiences have changed her. I think she is liable to do things now that you yourself would not permit. She has lived through things that you have not. Please, I rarely ask you for anything." Chakotay was finding it hard to plead. He hated it and it wasn't who he was. He did prefer the direct approach but he thought he would have extreme difficulty separating the Admiral from her younger self. He hoped that asking the Captain like this would soften her demeanour and make her step back and allow him the privacy he craved.

Kathryn looked between her first officer and the Admiral. The tension was palpable. She did not like being kept in the dark but Chakotay's approach worked. She backed down and nodded. "You have five minutes." She then marched out of the ready room leaving Chakotay and the Admiral alone.

"You have spoken to Seven?" The Admiral said coolly as she finished her coffee.

"Yes." Chakotay ground out.

"I am rather surprised that she told you. That is not the Seven I remember." The Admiral frowned and began to pace slowly. Her expression was thoughtful as she still avoided his eye.

"You underestimate her, as you have underestimated me." Chakotay snapped. "What right did you have to ask that of her? Do you know what torment you put her through? Playing on her guilt like that, it is unforgivable and not the actions of the woman I have come to know as my Captain."

The Admiral stiffened. She stopped pacing and raised her head to stare directly at him with her piercing eyes for the first time. Chakotay flinched, there was pure pain in her fierce gaze. He stepped back a little. "What you told the Captain was correct. She has not lived through what I have. She has not lost people that she cared about like I have, she has only touched the surface of what the Borg can and will do. I have seen things and had to do things that have turned my hair grey. This is not the result of ageing." She tapped the side of her head as she began to pace before him like a caged animal.

"I understand that you went through some incredibly fraught times but that does not excuse you." Chakotay would not be swayed.

"You understand nothing." The Admiral retorted. "I have spent years, years..." her voice cracked a little as she continued speaking, " trying to rectify my mistakes." She again turned her agonised gaze onto Chakotay although it had hardened, as if challenging him to remind her what they were. Of course he remained silent and she continued in an eerily quiet, matter of fact voice. "I stranded us in this quadrant. I am responsible for putting you all here. I am the one who is responsible for every single death that occurred along the way." She sighed deeply, as if acknowledging her role so bluntly unburdened her. "I feel that guilt. I carry it daily." She murmured softly. "My burden is heavy. It eats away at me. So if I can get you all home quicker without sacrificing anymore I will." She hesitated before her next words, but they were even more defiant for it. " Even if I have to use Seven to do it." Her eyes flashed fire at him as she stood to her full height and stopped pacing.

Chakotay stared at her incredulously. The Admiral's cool demeanour had been stripped away to reveal the guilt ridden woman beneath. He could see the pain reflected in every line that was etched into her face. She seemed to shrink before him a little as she stepped back toward the replicator. "Coffee." She barked at it. "Black."

"No, I have not lived your life." Chakotay said softly. "But I would hope that if I had I would not make poor Seven pay again for the choices I made. You know it is wrong. I can see it must have wounded you to do it."

"I care for Seven greatly. She is the daughter I never had in a way. I moulded her into who she is and I miss her every day. Being able to see her again..." The Admiral's eyes became unfocused as she looked into the middle distance as if she was lost in memories.

Chakotay frowned a little. "I don't doubt for one moment that you love Seven. But she is her own person. She is an independent, beautiful young woman. You didn't mould her into who she is today. That is a testament to her own individuality and the strength that she carries inside. Do not drag her back into the guilt of her past because you are having trouble atoning for your own mistakes."

The Admiral's face turned pale as she watched Chakotay swiftly leave the room. His words were like barbs to her heart. She sat down on one of the chairs and gulped down the black coffee, hoping that the drink she so loved would offer her some respite from the nausea welling in her throat. But it failed. She choked on the hot liquid and ended up throwing it away. The Admiral stood up quickly when the Captain came back into the ready room.

"I need to see the Doctor."

Janeway was surprised at the state of the older woman. Whatever Chakotay had said it had really got under her skin. "Are you well?" She asked in concern.

The Admiral forced her lips into a weak smile. "Yes. There is something I must discuss with him. Nothing for you to worry about."

"It seems I am being kept in the dark a lot today." Janeway replied resentfully. "This is my ship."

"Yes." The Admiral said faintly. "But perhaps you should remember that you are not the only one who resides in it." With those parting words she left the room.

A/N-thanks for reading! Nikki :)