I really enjoyed albert12's Things not to do on the TARDIS, but wished they'd continued into the new show. So I decided that rather than hope someone else would come up with this, I'd try writing it myself. First fic, so we'll see how it goes. This covers anywhere in the new series from season 1 to 4. More may be added for later seasons. And I made up some of the alien species encountered, so don't worry if one turns up that you think you've somehow missed hearing about.

Disclaimers: I do not own Dr. Who. Apparently this is required to put in. But seriously, who would think that any of us owned these since we're writing fanfics? I am also not trying to steal albert12's rule ideas and style. I just thought they were great and knew he wouldn't be writing any connected to the new seasons. If you see this and think I'm plagiarizing, PM me, please. I really don't want to offend anyone.

A/N: Rule #20 is inspired by my roommate. She had asked, "If the Doctor wants to be ginger, why wouldn't he just dye his hair?" I had to come up with an explanation.

I do take suggestions; PM me if there's something you want to see in here because I plan on continuing to add to this one. I reserve the right to decide if I want to use the prompt, but I'll probably put it in if it's just good clean humor. Just don't use ideas from season 5 or further. I have not watched those yet and so any rules from them would be (as River Song would say) Spoilers! When you start seeing rules from those seasons show up here, then it's safe to send them. The different font styles are for different characters' handwriting- Rose's rules are underlined, the Ninth Doctor's are bold, and the Tenth Doctor's are italic.

1 Do not leave bananas lying about just anywhere in the TARDIS. Rose was the one who started the rule list, mainly because she had just ruined a third pair of jeans when she sat down on a half-eaten banana. She had no idea what she was starting.

2 Jackie Tyler is not allowed anywhere near the Doctor. Especially if she looks angry. Rose had to laugh when she saw that one. Apparently the Doctor had had enough of Jackie's overprotective ways. The problem was, the rule didn't do a lot of good in its position inside the TARDIS. It would be better put up in the Tylers' flat.

3 Making eerie noises in the middle of the night is not funny. Rose still couldn't quite forget the "ghosts' she'd seen at Christmas.

4 No trying to claim that you inspired a writer's main character. Rose still might have managed to convince her mother that she really was the inspiration for Elizabeth Bennett, if the Doctor hadn't pointed out that they had never met Jane Austen, only Charles Dickens.

5 No matter how cute the alien is, Rose, you may not bring it onto the TARDIS. She had somehow managed to smuggle in a puff-tailed Mantagorian rat. Cute, yes, but extremely destructive to any and all forms of wiring. And they hadn't caught it yet.

6 Not every fat person is a Slitheen in disguise. A portly gentleman had been quite disturbed by Rose's close examination of his forehead.

7 Daleks are not trash cans. Rose had inadvertently attempted to throw away a gum wrapper in one before she realized what it was.

8 Poking people with pins is not an acceptable way to find out if they're real. An advanced alien culture on one of the planets they visited had created dozens of robots that were exact duplicates of Rose. The doctor had had the brilliant theory that only the real Rose would bleed.

9 Please do not call the cockroach exterminator a Dalek. Jackie was very upset; she was sure that the man thought her flat was full of crazy people and would never come back. If that happened, she had threatened, the Doctor was responsible for getting rid of the cockroaches under the kitchen sink, since he'd scared the poor fellow off.

10 Never, ever again try to prank Rose. The Doctor had thought it would be funny to jump out from behind a corner wearing a gas mask. Rose had been carrying a rather heavy anthology of Berekian poetry. The Doctor still had a headache.

11 Jack Harkness is no longer allowed in this TARDIS. The Doctor had caught him trying to steal a kiss from Rose. Jack now wished he'd been left on the exploding Chula warship.

12 The Sonic Screwdriver is not for chasing bats! Rose had woken up in the middle of the night one time when she was home at the Powell Estate to see a bat swooping around her room. She had run down to the TARDIS in a panic and asked the Doctor if she could borrow the screwdriver to chase out the bat. He refused.

13 Rose needs to be taught to operate the TARDIS. This was added after an extremely harrowing adventure in which the TARDIS had ended up tumbling randomly through the vortex while the Doctor was attempting to fix a broken part. Rose had been able to do nothing but hang on for dear life until they landed in Italy in the fifteenth century.

14 I don't care what those Kennocks told you, slapping people in the face is never an acceptable form of greeting! The Doctor just hoped Rose wouldn't tell her mother about that particular alien custom.

15 There will be NO MORE comment on the fact that I am still not ginger. New Doctor, new handwriting, Rose thought when she saw the latest addition to the list. She fully intended to ignore the actual rule.

16 "Hand" jokes are no longer funny. They were up until about the fifth one, but enough was enough.

17 No Christmas trees. That rule was fairly self-explanatory.

18 Do not catch snowflakes on your tongue unless you are 100% sure it is really snow. This was Rose's note to self; she had been so delighted with a Christmas snow that she'd been acting like a little girl. She'd had to rinse her mouth out three times to get rid of the taste of alien ash.

19 Never ever play a trick on Rose. Apparently the Tenth Doctor had forgotten his previous regeneration's mistake, or had thought he was smart enough to get away with it. He had statically charged Rose's hat so her hair stood on end after she wore it because she had made a comment about his new regeneration's hair looking like a "porcupine". It wasn't until the next day that he found out she'd put honey in his coat pockets.

20 Dyeing the Doctor's hair is not a good idea. Rose had managed to convince the Doctor that if he wanted to be a ginger so badly, he should just dye his hair. They didn't realize that the physiological differences between Gallifreyans and humans were quite so distinct. They extended to the fact that some chemical in the dye had given the Doctor a very irritating rash.

A/N Reviews are appreciated! Let me know how I'm doing with this. Apparently according to some other writers suggestions for stories are not to be given in reviews so if you have a good idea, please PM me.