Kanan scrubbed his hands down his face. He leaned against the bulkhead outside the room Ezra shared with Zeb.

"It's fine, Kanan. The kid is fine."

Hera's voice was warm, comforting, and he dropped his hands to hang by his sides, the fingertips brushing the chilled metal.

"It nearly wasn't." Kanan swallowed the lump in his throat that made speaking difficult.

Hera stepped out of Ezra's room and closed the door behind her. In the half light of the corridor, her emerald green eyes were luminous.

"Love, you need to give yourself a break." Hera rose her hand and curved it over his cheek.

Kanan broke her gaze. He couldn't deal with the sympathy there. He didn't deserve it. He stared down at the battered decking. At the splatters of blood, Ezra's blood that marred the normally clean surface.

"I will track down that bastard and …" Kanan struggled to finish the sentence.

Hera bent slightly, seeking his gaze again, her hand dropping from his cheek to his chest. "Be calm, Jedi." Her voice mesmerised him. "Think clearly."

Kanan closed his eyes, shuttering against those brilliant green eyes, the intelligence and friendship within them. He took a breath, feeling the press of her talented fingers over his heart. The talented hands that had flown Ghost out of all the trouble he had gotten them into, more times than he could count.

He was a Jedi.

There is no emotion, there is peace.

Ezra force choked by the Inquisitor.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

Kanan had gone in blindly. Anger had clouded his judgement.

There is no passion, there is serenity.

Ezra's legs had kicked the air, his eyes turning up into his head as he struggled to find his next breath.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

The hum of his lightsaber as he had ignited it. The snarl of rage that had been lava in his veins. The struggle to find his centre, to find the Force.

There is no death, there is the Force.

It was not Ezra's day to die. It was NOT.

Hera had saved them. He had lost sight of his centre. He had attacked the Inquisitor in anger. Anger.

There is no emotion, there is peace.

Sabine had warned them it was a trap. He had wanted to take down Callas. The man who had been hunting them for months. He hadn't expected the Sith.

There is no passion, there is serenity.

Hera bringing the Ghost in. For a moment he had been annoyed at the interruption. Then he had seen Ezra go limp and for a sickening moment, he thought he was dead.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

Sabine's explosion had given them the needed time to evacuate the ship. Zeb had grabbed Ezra and they had made it onto the Ghost.

There is no emotion, there is peace.

When the stars slid past as Hera hit hyperspace, tears had stung in his eyes and his heart had been a stone in his chest. His mourning was mostly for the kid. He had failed him. But just a little was for himself. He had forsaken every part of the Jedi Code.

There is no death, there is the Force.

The kid wasn't dead. Hera had made him comfortable, but Kanan knew he had failed his padawan today.

"Stop thinking so hard, Jedi." Her lips touched his cheek and he opened his eyes. Blue clashed with green.

There is no passion, there is harmony.

She took his hand and lifted it in her own.

"Your thinking makes my heart ache." Her voice was a soft caress.

There is no passion.

"He's family, Hera."

Hera wrapped her arms around his chest and brought him toward her warmth. He enveloped her gratefully, the heavy weight of her lekku resting on his forearms. She smelled of engine grease, and the skies, and of her.

There is no passion.

"I know." Her voice was muffled against his neck. The wash of her breath caused a shiver to slide down his spine. "And he is still alive. He will see much worse in days to come, Kanan." She looked up at him, her gaze serious. "You will teach him to be strong. To protect the crew the way you protect us. Protect me."

There is no damn passion.

His arms tightened involuntarily around her. She made a small sound and he took a breath.

"You're right." He said. And let go. He shook his head. "You're right."

She gave him that smile that made his knees go week. "I'm always right, Kanan. Best you remember that."

She stepped back and straightened her shoulders. "We will be coming out of jump soon. I should get back to it."

Kanan nodded. "Yeah. I will head to my quarters. Clean up."

Hera winked at him and headed off.

Kanan rubbed his fingertips over his temple.

It was getting harder. This lying to himself.

There is passion.