Author's note: Nope, still don't own Castle.
Also, I'm quite sad to learn that Captain Gates won't be returning in Season 8.

That being said, I hope you enjoy your reading. :-)

02 - Catharsis (from the Greek κάθαρσις katharsis meaning "purification" or "cleansing")

She found him in Central Park, not too far away from a pair of swings that were currently occupied by happy children. He was sitting cross-legged on the vibrant green grass, alternatively staring ahead of him and closing his eyes to inhale the soft, warm breeze that was blowing through the trees. He looked, for lack of a better word, positively tranquil.
She smiled to herself and made her way to her husband.

He was so deep in thought that he did not even realize she was suddenly standing next to him. She brushed the tips of her fingers against his cheek, gently calling his name to avoid startling him.
It did not work, of course, and he jumped a little at the unexpected touch before his eyes landed on her face and he relaxed again.

He checked his watch and was surprised when it read five p.m. "You're early," was the first thing he told her and she could not help the chuckle that escaped her throat.

"I'm very sorry for the inconvenience, Mr. Castle," she replied, mirth and gentle sarcasm lacing her words as she combed her fingers through his hair, "I can come back later if that's what you want."

He rapidly shook his head no and pulled on her unoccupied hand to make her sit beside him. She pretended to think about it for a second and then complied by moving in a soft, pliant way to pull herself flush against his side.

Craning his neck to get to her lips, he gave her a quick, chaste kiss that did not deter her from humming against his mouth.

A couple of minutes stretched away before either of them spoke, content as they were to just be together. Eventually, though, he could not bear the suspense any longer and wanted to know what decision she had made.

"What's it going to be, Kate?"

She laced her fingers through his own and gave his hand a small squeeze. "I am not going to run for New-York State Senate."

He nodded in acceptance and then prompted her to tell him more. "Why?"

"Honestly, can you really picture me as a politician?"

"I can picture you as pretty much anything you put your mind into being."

"I'm trying to be serious here, Castle."

"So am I," he exclaimed indignantly, which prompted her lips to curl into a small smile before they turned down again and she gave a sigh, her shoulders slightly hunched.

"Castle, when you were in that D.C. hospital after the toxin incident, McCord told me that if I wanted to keep my job within the federal force, I had to stop seeing the world in black and white. She said I should learn to accept the innumerable shades of grey the politic world was made of. And in the end, I was fired from the F.B.I. because I refused to let an innocent woman basically jump into a deathtrap."

"Which was one of the noblest things you've ever done, in my opinion."

"You're sweet, and thank you," she acknowledged before rewarding him with a peck on his jawline, "but that's not the point. The point is, I don't want to become one of those people who enter politics with a great ideal in their mind and then get either crushed by the political machine for refusing to oil it the right way, or end up just like all the others who forgot about what their goal was in the first place."

He remained silent for a little while, looking at her in that adoring way that always made a flush creep up her cheeks.

"Castle, I don't want to become one of them. I don't want to make compromises with people I loathe and then wake up one day and realize I lost myself in that dirty world because I played by its rules and not by my own."

"You know," he interjected with a faraway look in his eyes, "that reminds me of something my mother used to tell me when I was a kid."

"Really?"

"Yep."

She used her elbow to poke him in the ribs for that. "Well, are you going to tell me or not?"

He smiled at her curiosity and began his story.

"I was twelve years old, almost thirteen if I remember correctly. I'd been bullied by other kids in school for a good part of my life but I had learnt how to defend myself by using words and humor. Well-placed sarcasm became my armor and my coping mechanism. It took a little while but bullies eventually stopped targeting me because they knew I had the means to ridicule them."

Kate watched attentively as her partner's expression sobered and his eyes darkened with an emotion she could not quite put her finger on.

"Of course, just because I was now strong enough to confront those kids on my own did not mean they were going to change their ways. Since I was no longer receptive to their threats, they just picked another victim. Another boy, called Neil Archer, who had never hurt anyone and whom I chose not to help."

"But-

"In my head, at that moment, I was telling myself that no one had ever given a damn about me so why should I have spared that boy a second thought? I didn't know him and if I had been able to build myself my own armor, then he was going to have to learn how to do the same."

Castle marked a pause to take a breath before continuing. "When I went home that night and told my mother about Neil, she remained silent and stared at me like she could not believe what she'd just heard. Then she rose from the table and she told me she was very disappointed with me, that she was so very ashamed of me and that, worst of all, she did not understand how I could not feel ashamed of myself."

The writer let out a humorless chuckle at that. "My mother seized my wrist and, without uttering a single word, dragged me in our teeny-tiny bathroom until I was standing in front of the mirror which, by the way, was cracked. I met her eyes in the mirror, and they were so stern, Kate, so full of righteous anger that I knew I'd really messed up. Then she gave me one of the most important life lessons ever. She told me, 'Richard, how could you let someone else go through what you went through without acting about it? How can you bear the thought of having deliberately let someone suffer when you could have helped that person?'

"I remember I bowed my head and started to cry but she wouldn't let me. She lifted my chin and did not let go, made me stare at my reflection again. 'Look! Look at yourself, Richard, and tell me again how relieved you are that Neil Archer is now suffering instead of you! I dare you to tell me again!'"

Kate was listening to her husband with rapt attention as he recounted this key-moment of his teenage years and her admiration for Martha was sky-rocketing by the second.

"Of course, I could not repeat my words because I had understood the full extent of what I'd done, or rather what I'd not done, out of pure selfishness. I could not even bear to look at myself in the mirror anymore – I was desperate to look away and that time, as I quite literally burst into tears, my mother let me. She hugged me, soothed me as I repeatedly told her how sorry I was, as I begged her to forgive me over and over again."

"She ultimately told me it was okay, that I'd made a mistake but that I could start working on fixing it the day after. She said to me, 'Just promise me now, darling, that you will never turn a blind eye ever again. Nothing, you hear me, nothing is more important than being at peace with yourself. At the end of every single day of your life, before you go to bed, I want you to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you're not ashamed of whatever it is you've done during the day.'"

A rather long moment went by before either of them spoke again, but their laced fingers never separated. Castle needed the time to breathe while Beckett used it to fully digest the story she had just been told.

"Wow, Castle," she murmured, "that was pretty deep. What happened next?"

"Simple. I went back to school the next day and this time, I helped Neil. I apologized to him and he forgave me. We became friends and we remained that way until Mother and I had to move away again and our paths separated. Sometimes I wonder about what he's doing now."

"Well, wherever he is, I bet he never forgot about his friend. I'm really proud of you."

"I'm proud of you, too," he instantly replied, not missing a beat. She smiled at him.

"So, let me guess: you told me that story to make an analogy between me not wanting to forget about who I am and that whole 'look-at-yourself-in-the-mirror- thing?"

"Mrs. Castle, have I ever told you how much I love your brain?"

"Not today, Mr. Beckett."

"That is such poor behavior on my part. I shall correct that mistake," he proclaimed with a flourish as he pulled her against him until their lips were millimeters apart, "right now."

Even when they broke apart, Kate was happy to remain within her husband's embrace, even though the position they were in was not exactly the most comfortable one.
Eventually, though, it started to hurt and Castle rose to his feet, offering her his hand to help her up. She took it without a second's hesitation before she wrapped her arm around his waist as they walked together.

"It's going to be Captain Beckett soon, then, isn't it?"

"Mm, most probably."

"I like the sound of it. Very sexy." He grinned in that special manner that told her he was about to say something inappropriate. "Can't wait to use it while we're -

"Castle!" She laughed, loud and inhibited, content to see that he was happy with her decision too. Whatever future was in store for them, she was looking forward to it.

She was, however, very surprised at Rick's lack of reference to the Simon Doyle case. Refusing to become a Senator meant she was changing Doyle's prediction and she had thought her husband would be all over it, warning her not to mess with the space-time continuum and –

"I am thinking of ending the Nikki Heat series soon."

"Oh, okay."

Wait. What?

She stopped dead in her tracks, forced him to stop with her. "I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

"I said I was thinking of ending the Nikki Heat series soon."

"…Why?"

"It's sort of difficult to explain but ever since I was awarded Poe's Pen and more importantly ever since we closed Holtzman's case…"

She swallowed thickly, still not over the fact that the psychiatrist had almost slit her husband's throat. That she had almost lost him again. She was not quite sure she would have survived it, that time. She forced herself to focus on what Castle was telling her.

"…I have felt lighter. Like a tiny part of the macabre, morbid thrill inside of me has faded away. I had not realized before how haunted I still was by that day in Hollander's Woods.
But now, I feel much more at peace."

"Yes, I know the feeling." She told him with a smile, knowing he would have no problem to understand the subtext.

"I know you do. And just like you needed a new mountain to climb, I think I'd like to explore new horizons, as far as my writing is concerned."

"Well, I'm not sure about what your editor is going to say about that, but as your number one fan, I'm looking forward to reading it."

"Thank you."

As they resumed walking, children were still playing on the swings and their happy cries could be heard from afar. Kate briefly thought that maybe in not too long, she and Rick would bring their own little ones here.

Whatever the case, she promised herself she would make sure to hire Martha's help to teach them all about mirrors.