The Roommate Juxtaposition

At 23 years old, Sheldon decides to look for a roommate and extends his search online. What happens when a naïve 18 year old Penny answers the ad?

Sheldon Lee Cooper is the kind of man you read about in scientific magazines, with an intricate story of extraordinary intelligence coupled vast experience in his field. At 23 years old, he had it all: Multiple degrees from various universities, experience working with some of the brightest minds in theoretical physics, and a job researching String Theory at CalTech.

On the surface, he was arguably the most accomplished 23 year old physicist in the world. But there were a few things he didn't have, mainly due to disinterest. Sheldon had no friends, no love life, and minimal socialization skills. By choice.

Despite his better judgment, Sheldon posted an ad online for a roommate to help split the bills. Not because he couldn't afford the place on his own, but because he enjoyed the finer things in life with no will to compromise. He liked ordering dinner from a few select restaurants in Pasadena on a weekly basis. He liked collecting mint condition comic books and various other science fiction memorabilia.

Most importantly, he needed a roommate that worked within walking distance of CalTech so he could get a ride to work. Sheldon didn't drive, and had no plans to learn.

Sheldon received a plethora of emails regarding his roommate ad, and decided to email each of them a copy of a roommate application he devised himself. The application included various questions about hygiene, personal interests, schedule, and knowledge of science with an emphasis on physics.

Not surprisingly, most people didn't bother to send back the completed application. And those who did had a lack of what Sheldon was looking for in a roommate.

And so, his search continued.

Penny drove her car up to the apartment building, while holding her cell phone in her right hand.

"Yep, this is it." She said while looking at Google Maps on her phone. "2311 Los Robles."

Penny walked into the complex and looked around. "Seems clean enough. And at least they have an elevator."

She got into the elevator and went up to the fourth floor. As she stepped out, she was relieved to see that apartment 4A was located immediately to her left. "Oh, well that's super convenient."

Before she had a chance to knock, Sheldon opened the door. Penny stood there for a second, looking at the lanky stranger. He was about to lock his door when he noticed the young female staring at him.

"May I help you?" He asked, with no real intention to help.

"Yeah, hi. I'm Penny. Are you Sheldon Cooper?"

He continued to lock his door. "Perhaps."

She smiled. "I saw your ad online and the place looks really nice. So I was wondering if it's still available and if I could take a look."

Sheldon looked at her with his typical look of haughty derision. "The ad states that you need respond via email. At which time I would send you a roommate application. If, and only if, I deem you worthy of being my roommate will I invite you to the apartment for the second part of your screening."

Penny looked a little defeated and a bit intimidated. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I know it's a little weird to show up without calling, but I just wanted to make sure this place wasn't uber creepy. Is there any way you could just give me an application now? Since I'm already here."

"I'm sorry, but by proving yourself incapable of following a simple direction, I can no longer consider you a viable roommate. Goodbye."

As he walked over to the elevator, Penny made sure to block his path. "Oh come on, I really can't afford much right now and this is like the nicest place I can find for my budget. I wasn't trying to be rude."

He shook his head. "I suppose you think visiting one's apartment unannounced is a sign of benevolence. However, I disagree and I must be going. So can you remove yourself from my path to the elevator?"

"You really won't give me a chance? I promise, I'm super easy to live with, well unless you ask my family…" She explained with a chuckle. "Kinda the reason I want to leave home. That and to become a famous actress."

"Interesting. So you've never had a roommate before and you have no viable references." He let out a breathy chuckle. "Now, please move out of my way."

As the elevator door opened, Sheldon stepped inside. Penny followed him in. "No need to be mean about it."

Sheldon began to get exasperated. "I am not mean. I'm particular. I do not wish to reside with an unsuitable roommate."

She nodded. "I get that, although my finances are a little tight right now. So I can't exactly afford to go around interviewing people forever. Plus, the last place I went was really sketchy. I mean, the girl had seven nose piercings. Seven!"

"Might I also inform you that I do not care for idle chatter… so feel free to remain quiet for the remainder of the elevator ride."

Penny started to feel uncomfortable. Sheldon didn't seem like some crazy ax murderer, but he really didn't seem like he'd be a fun roommate.

But it'd be so cool to live in a big apartment outside the city… And I'll never be able to afford it on my own.

The two quietly left the building. As Penny walked to her car, she noticed that Sheldon approached the bus stop.

She tilted her head and looked at him. "You're taking the bus?"

"Yes."

"Don't have a car?"

He slowly turned to face her. "I do not drive. I have better things to think about."

"Like what?"

"The great wonders of our natural universe."

Penny started to doubt his sanity. "Does that make you a philosopher?"

Sheldon looked annoyed. "Good heavens, no. I'm a theoretical physicist. And I am never going to prove String Theory if I spend my days preoccupying my mind with tedious activity. Or mindless conversation."

Penny sighed. "Alright, I'm just gonna go run my errands. Thanks… for nothing."

This caught his attention. "What errands?"

"Well, I need to pick up some groceries to put in the mini fridge at my hotel. Then I need to…"

He cut her off. "You're living in a hotel?"

"Sort of. Right now I live with my parents in Nebraska, but I drove out here to look for an apartment. Of course I don't have a job yet, so I need to drop off some resumes too. You know, something to pay the bills while I wait for my big break."

"You could distribute resumes via email, although history has shown it is not your preferred means of communication." He replied with a snarky tone.

Penny gave up. "Thanks. I'm gonna go. See ya." Penny said as she opened her car door and got into the driver's seat.

Sheldon looked at his phone. According to the schedule update, the next bus would not arrive for 22 minutes.

Oh what fresh hell is this? 22 minutes…

He quickly shuffled over to the passenger side window and began to knock on it.

::Knock Knock Knock:: Penny

::Knock Knock Knock:: Penny

::Knock Knock Knock:: Penny

She reluctantly lowered the window a bit. "What?!"

"Which grocery store are you shopping at this afternoon?"

Penny raised her eyebrows. "Uh, I think there's one near the hotel."

"Whole Foods?" He asked.

"Yeah. Looks kind of fancy, but I don't need much."

"Oh good." Sheldon said as he opened the passenger door and sat down in her car.

"HEY!" Yelled Penny. "What are you doing?"

He smiled a bit for the first time that day. "I was going to take the bus, but if you're going to the same location, then I'll just ride with you." He reached up for his seatbelt and buckled it. "Can we also go to Pottery Barn?"

"Why should I take you anywhere? I hardly know you and you refuse to even let me see the apartment!"

He sighed. "Lucky for you, one of my prime criterion for a roommate is a functioning vehicle. So, if you prove to be an adequate driver, I'll reconsider letting you apply."

Penny smiled a bit. "Thanks, I think."

On the way to the store, Penny continued to make small talk.

"Okay, so I should probably tell you a little bit more about myself. I'm from Omaha, and I have an older brother and sister, although I haven't seen my brother since he got arrested for cooking meth. He's probably well on his way to Mexico by now…"

Sheldon turned to her. "Is this supposed to encourage me to choose you as a roommate?"

"Oh don't worry, I don't do drugs or anything. I don't really drink either, unless I'm at a party or something. You know how it is."

"How old are you again?"

She smiled. "Eighteen."

"Underage drinking, family drug problems, and spontaneous visits. I'm sorry, I don't think this is working out."

"Let me finish. I'm thinking about going back to school once I'm settled, although I'd have to find a good job to be able to afford it."

Sheldon perked up. "Ah, academia. What sort of degree will you be pursuing?"

"I was thinking about getting my Associate's over at the community college. I know they offer some theater courses…"

His disinterest returned. "Oh."

Penny continued talking. "I know it's a lot of hard work and all, but it would be really cool to be the first one in my family to go to college. You know, if I don't become famous before all that."

Sheldon just looked down at his lap. He was regretting stepping into the same vehicle with a woman who considered community college "hard work."

She smiled at him. "So, your turn. Tell me about you."

"You'll have to be more specific."

"Like, how old are you? Where are you from? What do you do?"

He answered pragmatically. "I'm 23 years old. I was born in Texas. And as I told you before, I am a theoretical physicist."

Penny nodded. "Oh, right… so what exactly is that? Like a scientist?"

Sheldon looked agitated. "Ho boy… Where to even begin answering that question."

"Okay, then just tell me what you actually do."

"I am currently working in the field of particle physics, researching String Theory."

Penny looked impressed. "Wow. So you went to school around here?"

"I currently hold multiple degrees. As you probably didn't notice, I signed my online posting as Dr. Sheldon Cooper B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D., Sc.D."

"Holy crap, you have a PhD already?"

"Two. I received my first PhD at age 16 and my second here at CalTech four years later."

Penny was in awe. "So you're like one of those beautiful mind, genius guys…"

Sheldon always liked when people complimented his intelligence, but he wasn't sure she fully appreciated it. "Yeah…"

Penny smiled. He seems really smart and responsible. Maybe this could work after all.