Levy put the pen down and looked over her handiwork. The letter wasn't much, as her previous ones had been. She'd skipped the gritty details of her time in the mental hospital for this letter. It wasn't as if her friends would want to read how horrible she was doing.

In truth Levy hated the hospital. She wasn't crazy! She would swear her life on that. But still there was something about her that contradicted what she'd like to believe. Already she could feel her muscles tense, she was growing anxious just thinking about her friends reaction to her letter. Levy could feel another panic attack coming. She quickly jumped out of her chair, almost tripping over herself to get to the window. She opened it and let the cool summer breeze flow through her hair.

It'd been a year and a half since she was checked into the mental hospital, she missed the outside world. Lucy had insisted she go after her panic attack in downtown that had almost killed her. Levy knew her best friend just wanted to help her get over her panic attacks but she couldn't believe that being stuck with psychos everyday was going to help her get better. In fact it just made the panic attacks worse. She never relayed any of that in her letters though. She wanted Lucy to think she was getting better not worse, even if that wasn't the truth.

Levy's mind cleared a bit and her muscles relaxed. At least she'd managed to escape a full blown panic attack this time but she wasn't so sure the next time it would come around and if she'd be able to stop it.

"Levy McGarden?" A voice came and someone knocked on the door of her room. Levy called the nurse in. She held a clipboard in her hands and some medicine that was supposed to help Levy. But she didn't believe prescribed pills would help at all. "It's time for your medicine and daily check up."

Levy sighed and maneuvered around the room, books lay everywhere on the floor in no neat manner either. Some books ley upturned because Levy had hated the ending, others were torn apart after fits of a panic attack in an attempt to calm down. If the nurse saw the ruined library books she didn't say anything.

Levy grabbed the pills from her and while the nurse was looking at the clipboard Levy tucked them into her pocket to be thrown out later like all the other pills she was given.

The nurse began asking the daily questions. "Any panic attacks today?"

"No." She lied.

"Has the medicine been helping?"

"As much as you want it to."

"How are you feeling?"

"Annoyed."

The nurse looked up, none of Levy's answers had been helpful or the kind she was looking for. Levy braced herself for a lecture. "Ms. McGarden," she began. "You can't get better if you keep throwing away your medicine." Levy's hand flew to her pocket, how did the nurse see that? "When was the last time you went to group therapy?"

Levy sighed again, she could almost feel another panic attack coming. The stress that came from this place always set her on edge, it wasn't any better when she went to group talks either. No one seemed to understand her anxiety. "I don't like going." She said quietly as she sunk down onto her bed tucking her knees into her chest, looping her hands around her legs.

"Levy." The nurse started and she knew that the nurse was going to tell her some crap about how groups of people sharing their problems helps you. The one thing the nurses and doctors didn't understand was that being in a large group of people only made Levy's anxiety worse, she hated social gatherings they made her jumpy. "Group therapy is a great way to relieve stress." Levy rolled her eyes. "You might even meet some people who share your anxiety issues."

Levy bit back a nasty retort. She wanted to yell and scream at the nurse but she knew that if she did more doctors would come to sedate her. She bit her lips and tried to calm her anxiety, instinctively she began picking at her nails.

The nurse noticed the change in attitude. "There's a meeting in the lunch room at three today. Doctor Porylusica would like you to go." Levy didn't make eye contact, she didn't want to go, but not going would only result in more lectures and frankly she was getting tired of listening. If the doctors wanted her to get better she'd show them that group therapy combined with her panic attacks was the exact opposite of better. Maybe if she had a bad enough panic attack they would let her stay in her room and read. The thought was ludicrous. What would really happen was larger doses of medicine, more doctor visits, and forced trips to the outside world where Levy's anxiety would be off the charts.

The nurse then placed a hand on Levy's knee, "Go. It might help you." The nurse offered a smile that Levy did not return. The nurse got up and left the room, closing the door after her.

Levy took a long look at her bare room. White walls, white bed, white dresser, the only color the room had was the mess of books she threw everywhere. Books were Levy's only release from panic attacks. She could spend days immersing herself in the pages of a book. Only her doctors didn't see that as a good outlook to overcoming it. Levy took a look at the white clock on the wall; 11:00. She picked up another book from the ground and turned to the page she left off. At least Levy could get a few chapters in before she had to go to group therapy.

Three o'clock came sooner than expected, sooner than she'd like it too as well. Levy reluctantly put the book down, changed into her favorite orange dress and put her hair up with her headband. She took a look in the mirror before heading out. Levy's lips were bleeding again, and her nails were reduced to stubs. At least with the headband it was less obvious how much she ruffled up her hair during a panic attack. She was shaking again. Levy crossed her arms trying to hide the nervousness her soul resonated with. It did little to hide it but she stepped outside her door anyway.

The hospital hallways were just as stale white as her room was, only the tiles of the floor distracted Levy's attention as she walked. Levy held her head down in such a way that her hair would hide her face. She hated the feeling of people looking at her, and walking down the hallway was only made better by not being able to see if anyone was actually looking at her. She walked through the hallways almost instinctively. She knew those hallways like the back of her hand, having explored every inch of them at night after hours, it helped her calm down even if it was against the rules.

She made it all the way to the lunch room without a panic attack, that was always a good sign. When Levy walked in however she felt the stress build. She got a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach at the sight of the group of people, not only from the hospital but from the local towns too.

The gathering was larger than she thought, there had to be at least thirty people here. Levy began picking at her nails again, her hands shifted between picking her nails, picking her bleeding lips or trying to calm the goosebumps by rubbing her shoulders. Slowly Levy walked towards the group.

If she'd hoped to take a seat unnoticed that hope was crushed when the group therapist called to her. "Hello!" He said much too happily, "Come, sit down! Levy isn't it? I haven't seen you here for a while. I'm so glad you decided to come back." Suddenly every head turned to look at her as she walked in. The man's elaborate hand gestures and loud voice made sure to alert everyone of her entrance. She ducked her head and kept walking looking for an empty seat away from everyone else, or in a corner maybe. But they were all taken so she had to settle on a seat between a largely muscled man whose whole wardrobe was black and a small lanky young boy who seemed to be schizophrenic.

Levy tried to keep her cool but she couldn't keep something she'd never had and fell into the cold metal chair with a clang of clumsy footwork causing every uninterested head to turn and look at her again. She ducked her head, bit her lips and picked at her nails in response.

Levy didn't want to look up at the group for fear of seeing everyone still looking at her. She silently kept her head down and waited for the group meeting to be over. Before it even started someone came up to her. She could see the feet that waited impatiently by her chair. She looked up skittishly to see a tall brunette wearing a only a bra under a barely concealing shawl with capris.

"Hey, girly!" She said when Levy met her eyes. Levy recognized Cana. Cana was always hiding out in the local bar, complaining about how her family didn't understand her drinking problem. Levy guessed her family had finally forced her to go to therapy to fix that problem. Levy couldn't see it doing much because Cana had a travel flask attached to the strap around her shoulder. She didn't wait for Levy's reply as she kicked the schizophrenic kid out of his seat and sat down next to her.

"So the doc finally made you come, eh?" Her words came out rough and loud as she grabbed another chair to kick her feet up.

Levy only nodded. Cana was about to say more when the meeting started and the group therapist called for silence.

"Hello everyone and thank you for coming!" He began, sounding all too much like he was giving a speech at a wedding as the best man. "We are all here because we all have...disabilities of sorts that take a little support to get over. It's nothing to be ashamed about-!" The man went on but honestly Levy wasn't interested.

She could feel her anxiety growing into annoyance, and an annoyance induced panic attack was worse than her usual stress induced attacks. Levy tried to control her breathing in hopes it would keep her calm but it didn't. She could still feel the pressure building up inside her until she was ready to explode.

Levy's attention was drawn away from the floor as the large muscled man next to her stood up. She could see that the man towered above everyone when he wasn't sitting down, even his long hair seemed as long as Levy was tall. The man introduced himself. "I'm Gajeel, and the only reason I'm here is cuz my doc freaking made me!" He spat the words with enough force to make Levy cringe. She didn't know what his problem was but she knew she didn't want to get involved with it, he made her skin crawl just looking at him.

"A-and what seems to be the issue you have?" The therapist pried for answers, obviously taken aback by Gajeel's loud and surly appearance.

Gajeel rolled his eyes, and hands in his pockets scoffed as he said. "Doc says I got anger management issues, but I don't. I just got issues with stupid people who need their heads bashed in."

His words made her knees come up to her chest in a fetal position. She'd never met someone with anger management issues and she was sure she never wanted to meet him again. The therapist seemed at a loss for words. Then trying not to provoke Gajeel he told him to sit down and turned his head to Levy next.

Levy drew her knees tighter in at his look. "Levy…" He began softly as if she was a time bomb to be handled carefully. "Why don't you share who you are and why you're here."

Levy didn't want to get up, in fact she wanted to sink into the floor and not exist. Every head was turned to her expectantly. She reluctantly placed each foot on the ground and stood up rather nervously. She held her arms as she spoke hoping for some burst of confidence she could use to escape her oncoming panic attack.

"H-hi. um, My name's Levy…" She started saying but was interrupted.

"Speak up will ya! I can barely hear ya whisper!" She was not surprised but startled when Gajeel yelled from right beside her.

"U-uhm my name's Levy...I have anxiety a-and frequent panic...attacks." She finished her sentence praying to god she didn't have to say it again for lack of a louder voice. She didn't seem to have to as the therapist continued talking.

"Okay, thank you Levy. I'm glad you stood up and addressed yourself." The therapist smiled at her relaying a message that meant to say, I'm glad to see you facing your anxiety in front of us. But she knew it really meant her anxiety was a big issue, and she could se in the therapists eyes that he didn't believe she could ever get over it.

Levy grimaced then quickly sat down and raised her knees to her chest again wanting to just escape the world. Cana shot Levy a supportive smile from a friend and sat up next.

"The name's Cana. Uh, my familys says I got a drinking problem. I say bring on the booze!" Cana loudly proclaimed as her cheeks flushed and she brought up the flask to take a big swig. If Levy didn't know any better she'd think Cana was already drunk, which wasn't hard to believe, but Cana did have a high tolerance for alcohol. The rest of the group was visibly unsettled as they whispered amongst themselves and cast furtive glances at Cana while the therapist tried to force her to sit down again.

She eventually did sit down after much cajoling and the meeting went on. It consisted of nothing Levy found to be 'team-building fun' as the therapist had called it. He had them do activities as teams, Levy was immediately chosen to be on Cana's team and for lack of another teammate, Gajeel was chosen. Levy tried her best to stay away from the overly intimidating man, but this being a team, that didn't bode over well as they were told to try and work on their team building skills.

Levy practically had her head ducked down the whole meeting and although it was only an hour long she felt like it lasted a lifetime.

She thought she was in the clear when the session was over and she walked out with a very drunk Cana, but Gajeel pulled at her tiny wrist. Levy whipped around in fear, and looked into his red eyes. Now that she could look closer she saw that the man had an abundance of piercings. Iron bolts like piercings replaced his eyebrows and he had multiple piercings down his nose and chin. They only added to his intimidating features. As soon as Levy met his eyes she found herself looking at the ground again her free hand moving wildly for lack of being able to pick at her other hands fingernails.

"Hey, what's yer deal?" He asked none too nicely.

"Nothing, I just-"

"Just what?" He interrupted a stern look on his face that Levy was actively tying to avoid but finding it hard to.

"Please my anxiety is really bad, I just wanna head back to my room now…" She said in hopes he'd understand and let her go, as it stood though he still had a firm grip on her wrist. She felt her hand growing numb as his large strong fingers cut off the circulation.

"Back to yer room eh? Is that where you hide from the world?" He scoffed, then continued without indication of wanting an answer. "That's no way to live ya know. Why don't you just go outside and meet people once in awhile?"

Levy's eyes shifted back to the ground. "My social anxiety is really bad too…" She squeaked out like a mouse. Levy just wanted him to let her go, she tried to look around for Cana but the brunette was probably too drunk to function. "Please just let me go, I- I might have a panic attack-"

"Hey why don't you look at me when I'm talking to you!" He yelled his voice suddenly getting louder and more threatening. Levy cringed but she couldn't do much with her wrist still caught in his steel grip. "What's wrong with you!" He yelled punching the wall behind Levy's head which made her yelp.

Her breathing grew irregular and she couldn't keep herself calm this time. Levy's brain worked at hyper speed, her vision blurred and she grew dizzy. Gajeel wasn't helping as he kept yelling nonsensical things at her and punching the wall. Eventually Levy had enough and her panic attack worsened. She screamed loudly, attracting unwanted attention. She tried to wrench her hand from his grip but he held tightly and the more she struggled the more panicked she grew.

Levy could barely process a thing as his hand was finally lifted from her wrist and she pulled away into a ball, sliding down the wall still screaming. Levy held her head in a fetal position and over the sound of her heartbeat she heard the doctor's yelling trying to keep Gajeel under control.

They tried to touch her but Levy wouldn't let them. Every hand that came near was brutally slapped away until Levy had calmed down enough to lift her head up.

Levy noticed Doctor Porylusica looking at her as her senses came back to normal. The doctor was trying to call to her. "Levy?" She called. "Honestly child stand up!" She spat and Levy found herself immediately obeying her even if the effects of her panic attack still lingered. Levy stood there, arms folded as she absentmindedly picked at her still bleeding lips. Doctor Porylusica smacked her hand down. "Stop picking! It only makes the anxiety worse." Despite her harsh words and previously impatient attitude she pulled Levy into a hug. "It's okay. Just stay calm." She cooed the most frequent words Levy always heard come out of her doctor's mouth. It was sort of like a catchphrase when Dr. Porylusica dealed with her patients...Just stay calm...

Levy listened to her doctor's word and found herself sobbing as Ms. Porylusica held her tightly. But she let go too soon and Levy almost stumbled. Ms. Porylusica kept an arm around her as she led her back to her room. Levy's room was just the way she had left it and she didn't know if that was a good thing as her anxiety came back. Her doctor noticed she had started shaking again.

"Levy," Ms. Porylusica began holding her firmly so that she faced her. "Don't let your anxiety take control of you." She sighed when she saw that her words had done little to help Levy. "I won't force you into another one of those again but I still highly encourage them. I'll also make sure Gajeel never comes near you again."

Levy nodded and whispered her thanks. She wasn't sure of everything that happened after her panic attack began but she did know that Gajeel's face would haunt her dreams. All the better to never see him again.

AN: Hope you liked the first chapter. :) Know that I have big plans for this AU so I'll probably write a lot more. If you have any comments or suggestions feel free to let me know. As it stands in the AU Levy and Gajeel live in the Fairy Hills quarter of a little town of Magnolia. I might mention a little on the town in later chapters, mostly just brief phrases about it so I thought I'd clear that up now. Levy has lived there her whole life constantly dealing with panic attacks. You'll get to see later on how Gajeel and Levy's relationship develops and how his anger clashes with her anxiety. For now though enjoy reading the next chapters!