Disclaimer: NCIS and all things related belong to CBS and Bellisario

HEARTKILL

Chapter 9

Gibbs hit the brakes and the sedan screeched to a halt in front of a seven story building in Georgetown. He jumped out of the car followed by Kate and they ran for the entrance, never even noticing they had backup.

"Boss! Kate!" Tony and McGee exclaimed together when they all bumped into one another at the door.

"We got the wrong guy!"

"Amanda, she's-"

"I know!" Gibbs barked struggling with the front door that was obviously locked.

Tony shoved him aside, kneeled down and began to pick up the lock but it wouldn't give up.

"There's no time for that!" Gibbs pushed him away, aimed his Sig and shot the lock off.

They rushed inside and Gibbs run towards the elevator forgetting that it was out of order.

"Damnit!" he swore under his breath when the flashy yellow stripes blocked his way and headed for the stairs.

His heart raced as if it was about to break out of his chest as he climbed up, jumping two steps at a time followed by Tony, Kate and McGee. Eventually they got to the fifth floor where Amanda's friend's apartment was located, and trying to catch their breaths, they strode towards the last door on the left.

Everything was peaceful and silent and Gibbs felt a dead weight drop into his stomach when he thought that they could've been late.

The door was locked again, but this time Tony managed to pick up the lock in no time and they broke into the apartment, Gibbs and Tony up front, McGee and Kate securing the back.

There were evident signs of a struggle everywhere but the hall, the living and the kitchenette were clear. Cautiously they moved deeper inside, checking every door they came across. The first led to a closet, the next one to the bathroom, both empty.

They got to the third and last door and, signaling to the others to keep their guns in ready, Gibbs pushed it open and his eyes widened in horror.

Amanda's lifeless, half-naked body was laying on the bed and hovering above her, with his pants open and hands clasped around the girl's neck there was the killer.

As soon as the agents burst into the room, the man sprang up and ran towards the window, pulling up his zipper in the meantime.

"Freeze!" Gibbs yelled but he just glanced at him and jumped out

Tony shot to the window and peeked outside.

"There's a fire escape," he said to the others squeezing through the tight opening intent on following the killer.

"Take care of her!" Gibbs called to Kate and McGee and ran out of the apartment.

Kate immediately rushed to Amanda and checked her vitals.

"She's still alive," she gasped feeling a faint pulse on her neck. "McGee, call an ambulance!"

McGee was already dialing 911.

In the meantime Tony chased after the killer, making his escape down the fire ladder.

I need to start working out, he thought speeding down the wobbly iron steps.

The killer had a good advantage on him from the start, and he moved swift and fast, increasing the distance between them in no time. He jumped to the lowest platform and pulled out the ladder that reached the ground. Looking up at Tony, who was still two stories away, he began quickly descending the steps until his feet finally touched the concrete. Ready to make a wild run for it, he spun around only to face the barrel of a gun.

"Just give me an excuse," Gibbs hissed pointing his Sig Sauer directly into the man's forehead.

The killer didn't even twitch, he just stared back at him and Gibbs thought that there was something familiar about those dark eyes filled with loathing.

"Great timing boss!" Tony huffed, jumping off the ladder.

He pulled out his handcuffs and bound the killer's wrists behind his back smiling in vengeful satisfaction.

The high pitched howl of a siren cut the air and Gibbs let out a relieved sigh. If the ambulance was here, it meant Amanda could still be saved.

"No ID boss," Tony informed him after he'd searched the man's pockets.

"Who the hell are you?" Gibbs asked him.

The killer crossed his eyes looking to the gun pointed into his head, then focused back on Gibbs and he said with a creepy smile, "My name is Charles Bellinger."

§§§

Sunday, February 15th 2004

Tony and McGee snuck into Observation and joined Kate in front of the one-way glass.

On the other side Gibbs was just about to start the interrogation.

"Whether he confesses or not, he's busted," Tony commented. "You should've seen the stuff we found at his place."

"He had a file on each victim: names, addresses, occupations, detailed descriptions of their habits and surveillance photos," McGee added. "There were also several interesting files on his computer including copies of the photoshopped nude pictures."

"He had a few Azalea plants in his living and in the trash we found an empty box of one of those hair dyes that come off in one washing."

"Abby's processing it all as we speak."

In Interrogation, Gibbs lifted up his eyes from the dossier Kate had provided him to the man sitting at the other side of the table.

According to the file he was thirty-seven but he appeared older, probably because of his silver, most certainly dyed hair. He was wearing an old JAG uniform, one of its sleeves slightly torn, threads slipping out of decorative golden stripes. His full name was William Charles Bellinger and he was Charles Bellinger the JAG's only son.

"You know what," Gibbs shook his head. "I'm not gonna ask you about who did you kill and when, I just want to know why?"

He knew from experience that criminals, once they realized they were going in for it anyways, actually liked to talk. By asking Bellinger 'why?' he wanted to encourage him to share his story, even if, with all the evidence they had against him, a confession wasn't necessary. Moreover, he he was simply curious about what was going on in the mind of a person capable of such cruelty and perversion.

"Tell me Agent Gibbs, have you ever been to college?" Bellinger asked him unexpectedly.

"No, I haven't," Gibbs replied wondering where he was headed with this.

"Was it by your own choice?"

"Yes."

"Ah, choices," Bellinger sighed nostalgically. "They are a luxury not all of us can afford."

Gibbs didn't comment on it, just patiently waited for Bellinger to elaborate on the topic and eventually he did.

"Since I was born it had always been other people who decided about my life, about what I would eat, what I would wear, about what kids I would hang with, about what I would do the school project on. Even when I became adult, choices were still being made for me by others and I couldn't find the strength and the will to break free."

"It was my father who decided I would go to law school," Bellinger continued. "He imagined one day I would become a lawyer, perhaps even a JAG just like him. I did my best to pass exam after exam but I always hated it at Ohio State."

"That was where I met Jessica Thorne." There was that nostalgic tone in his voice again. "She was my first."

"Your first?" Gibbs inquired.

"Yes, my first love, and my first kill."

Gibbs squinted his eyes suspiciously. Could Bellinger Senior had actually been telling the truth?

"I fell for Jessica the moment I saw her. She was so beautiful with her long, blonde hair and blue eyes, perfect figure and flawless skin. She was a popular girl and I was well aware she'd never even notice a misfit like me."

"It must have hurt real bad when you found out she was seeing your father."

"It did," Bellinger agreed. "They didn't know it, but I had been been watching them from the very beginning. I was the one who tipped that jock, Wilkinson, but his reaction wasn't quite what I expected. I thought he'd get mad, but he just saw it as an opportunity to get some money out of my old man, but then I came up with another brilliant idea. I rigged Wilkinson's drink making him end up in a car crash and Jessica thought it was my father who did it. I saw them that night in the park when they fought about it and my old man strangled her and then just left. There was nobody around and she was just laying there, still such a beauty even in death, and I couldn't help myself from making love to her."

If you call raping a corpse 'making love', Gibbs thought clenching his jaw to contain a wave of nausea washing over him.

In the meanwhile Bellinger kept on telling his story, "It was amazing to be finally inside her, but then she began to stir and I realized everything was about to be ruined. That fool of my father had only knocked her out but I finished the job for him. Afterwards I meant to take Jessica with me but then I heard someone approaching and I ran to hide. It was a couple drunk sluts coming back from that party they had in the dorms and when they found my Jessie they called the police. The cops never got back to me though, they locked up some other idiot who raped her at the party."

"Tell me about Alicia Baker," Gibbs requested. "Did you 'love' her too?"

"I did," said Bellinger sadly. "She was the first girl I felt attracted to since I had lost Jessica. She had a boyfriend but I got rid of him the same way I got rid of Wilkinson and Alicia could finally be mine. Following my father's example, I managed to seduce her with expensive gifts and empty promises. She didn't fully understand my needs though, and in the end I lost her too."

More like murdered her too, Gibbs thought, doing his best to keep his composure.

"What about Patricia and Anna?" he asked Bellinger. "How did you feel about them?"

"They were meaningless to me. They were just a tribute I pay each ear to the memory of Alicia and Jessica, the two lost loves of my life."

Gibbs had heard enough. Without even looking at Bellinger he got up and left Interrogation.

§§§

"What a whacko," Tony mumbled, listening to Bellinger's confessions. "Not to mention this douchebag ruined our V-Day."

"More like V-Night," McGee laughed, "and in your case Tony, it was that Pam who ruined it in the first place."

"Yeah, Abby told me your date didn't go quite as you had hoped for," Kate teased him trying to distract herself from Bellinger who was making her sicker with every word he spoke.

"Yours surely did," Tony got back at her and licked his lips suggestively.

"I don't know what you're talking about DiNozzo," Kate spat at him.

"Probie, show me how good an investigator you are."

"Hmmm..." McGee looked Kate up and down and said, "Messed up hair, traces of smeared make-up, her shirt is buttoned up wrong too..."

"And she's definitely not wearing a bra," Tony added staring unceremoniously at her chest. "Bet she isn't wearing her panties either."

"Stop it you two!" Kate raged blushing furiously.

"You were having sex when Gibbs called you in," Tony nodded and flashed her a knowing smile.

"No, I wasn't! I was sleeping," Kate argued.

"Yeah, after having had sex," McGee joined in with Tony.

"Who's the lucky guy Katie?"

"That's none of your business!"

"Ah-hah!" Tony yelped victoriously. "So there is someone! Come on, who is he? Do we know him?"

Kate just clenched her jaw and sent his way a glare almost as deadly as Gibbs's.

Tony exchanged looks with McGee who smirked and indicated towards Interrogation. Puzzled, he squinted his eyes and glanced at Gibbs's back, then at Kate and then back at McGee. They younger agent nodded eagerly and smiled like crazy.

"No way!" Tony gasped but then he realized something.

Gibbs and Kate came to Amanda's in his car, but Gibbs wouldn't waste time picking Kate up at her place, if he were in a rush to save the girl, which meant they must have been spending the night together. Also, Gibbs's clothes were the same ones he was wearing during the day and his undershirt was missing which meant he must have been getting dressed in a hurry, and Tony knew him well enough to tell that had he been in his pajamas or working clothes, he wouldn't have cared to change.

"You slept with Gibbs?!" asked Tony incredulous.

Kate just gave him a hard stare as if to say 'don't even go there'.

"Oh my God! You did sleep with him!"

Next to them McGee was dying out of laughter at Tony's face.

"How was it Kate? Can he still...? You know..." Tony gesticulated to illustrate her what he meant.

Kate rolled her eyes annoyed, then she turned around and flashed Tony her best smile and said, "Tell me DiNozzo, do I look like an unsatisfied woman to you?"

Taking in Kate's wide grin and the sparkles in her eyes, Tony had to admit she looked nothing like unsatisfied, more like she's had the sex of her life.

"Having had three wives I bet the boss would know to please a lady," McGee commented struggling to control his laughter

"Shut it McExpert!" spat Tony angrily and then leaned closer to Kate and asked her confidentially, "Does he have a big one?"

Kate just flashed him an angry glare but the red on her cheeks was giving away her embarrassment, which incited Tony to tease her even more.

"Come on Kate! I'm just curious."

"I'll pretend you didn't ask that question."

"Where did you do it? On his boat?"

"How many times?"

"In what position?"

The two agents were so busy tormenting Kate that they didn't even notice a lone figure sneaking into Observation and then sneaking out a moment later.

FBI Special Agent Fornell got out of Observation fuming with rage and crashed with Gibbs coming out of Interrogation.

"Conference room! Now!" he yelled.

"Yeah, I need a word with you as well," Gibbs hissed and strode to the elevator.

They got into the metal box and when it moved half a floor up Gibbs switched the emergency stop.

"Why the hell did you call your man off?!" Gibbs raged.

"How could you fuck my Kate?!" Fornell shouted at the same time.

"WHAT?!" Gibbs couldn't believe he just heard what he thought he did.

"Right now McGee and DiNozzo are giving Todd the third degree about the size of your dick!" Fornell explained, seeing Gibbs's dumbfounded expression.

"I'm gonna kill them both," Gibbs muttered under his breath clenching his fists.

"And I'm gonna kill you!" Fornell fumed. "What the hell were you thinking sleeping with her you old prick!"

"I'm five years younger than you!"

"And twenty years older than her!

"Eighteen!"

"Same thing!"

"Kate's an adult and you're just her boss, not her father, so quit the drama!" Gibbs had had enough. "Focus on things that actually concern you, like Amanda's protection detail that you called off when you shouldn't have!"

"Todd said you had the killer in custody!" Fornell argued.

"I heard her tell you we were still running verifications about him! You should've kept your men in position at least until morning!"

"Don't blame everything on me! Hadn't the two of you been so absorbed in getting into each other's pants, you would've noticed you had the wrong guy!"

This time Fornell hit the mark. As much as Gibbs wanted to get back at the FBI agent, to chew on him for making the mistake of calling off Amanda's protection detail, a part of him knew Fornell was right.

Even if everything pointed out to Bellinger, his gut had been telling him something was off but he dismissed it, impatient to wrap up the case and finally spend some quality time with Kate. Perhaps if he hadn't been distracted with her he would've noticed something relevant and caught the real killer in time and Amanda would't be fighting for her life in hospital now.

He felt defeated but he was too proud to admit it. Instead he just clenched his jaw and turned the power back on. The elevator jerked back into motion and a minute later it stopped on the third floor.

"We didn't make any mistakes," Gibbs said through gritted teeth walking out into the squad room. "We only needed more time to get to the truth."

§§§

After searching half of the NCIS building, Kate finally found Gibbs laying on a slab in autopsy. She thought he was sleeping but when the automatic doors hissed letting her in he shifted and looked at her.

"Aren't you going home?" she asked quietly coming over to him.

He shook his head in reply.

She sat on the edge of the slab and looked at him with concern. She could see the rage, the frustration, the guilt lurking behind his eyes and wanted to say something to comfort him but couldn't find the right words.

"My house is open," he said staring at the ceiling, "in case you wanted to drop by and take your things."

She just nodded and got on her feet.

On one hand, she felt almost hurt by his cold demeanor, on the other, she understood that with everything that happened that night he simply needed time to process.

She walked back to the door but before she left, she turned around to look at him one last time and said:

"Don't blame yourself Gibbs. It won't change anything."

How could he not blame himself, Gibbs thought, watching Kate walk out of autopsy and into the elevator. He gained Amanda's trust and then he betrayed it by making her believe she was safe and letting that psycho get to her.

Several hours passed before Gibbs finally fell into slumber. When he woke up it was already morning, even if in the underground he could tell it only by the time indicated by his watch.

He got up and went to Abby's, passing by the men's rooms and getting himself decent on the way.

"What have you got?" he asked the goth coming into the lab and Abby instantly noticed how beaten up he sounded.

"I matched Junior's DNA to all the remaining samples we had and the facial recognition program matched his face to that of the guy in the surveillance video. The rest of the evidence like the plants, the uniform and the hair dye speak for themselves."

"Good job Abs." This time he had forgotten the Caf-Pow!

"Gibbs?"

"Hmm?"

Abby wrapped her arms around his waist hugging him and Gibbs hugged her back accepting the comfort she was offering him. He kissed her cheek affectionately and said, "Go home Abby, get some rest."

"You should do too Gibbs."

"I still have one place to go to."

After sending Abby home he drove to Bethesda to check on Amanda in hospital.

Her doctor informed him about the extension of her injuries and assured him that her life wasn't in danger. He also allowed for a short visit but insisted that Gibbs didn't bother his patient with questions. Gibbs agreed and was let into Amanda's room.

Sitting on the edge of her bed he whispered:

"I'm so sorry Amanda."

The girl opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Don't be," she said in a hoarse voice. "You saved me."

"You're laying in a hospital bed because I made a mistake."

"Hadn't it been for you I would be laying a couple floors down, in the morgue," she said squeezing his hand tighter. "Don't be too hard on yourself Agent Gibbs. We all make mistakes sometimes. It only proves we're human."

He just nodded and leaned down to place a soft kiss on her forehead.

What happened couldn't be undone but knowing she would recover and hearing her speak words of forgiveness made him finally find his closure.

§§§

Friday, February 27th 2004

Having finished his duties for the day Dr. Donald Mallard left autopsy and headed home. Passing across the dark, almost deserted squad room he noticed Gibbs sitting alone in the bullpen and staring at the empty desk in front of him. It had been happening quite often in the past two weeks and Ducky finally decided to confront his friend about it.

"Is there something bothering you Jethro?" he asked.

"It's nothing Ducky," Gibbs dismissed him shrugging his shoulders.

"Does that 'nothing' have a name?" Ducky kept on digging. "Caitlin perhaps?"

Gibbs looked up at Ducky who just smiled at him knowingly.

"Couldn't she just come to work here with me?" Gibbs said bitterly. "Everything would've been simpler then."

"Simpler? I think it would've been even more complicated." Ducky argued. "If she were your subordinate, she would've never dared confessing her feelings for you, and you'd have never let yourself act on yours."

"It would've been better that way. If I hadn't gotten involved with Kate, I could've found the killer in time. Our lack of professionalism almost cost Amanda her life."

"Stop making up excuses Jethro. None of us could've known we had the wrong person until Abby got the DNA results and she did pretty much the same time Amanda called you for help. Hadn't you been with Kate, you would've probably been spending Saturday night sanding your boat and the outcome would've been the same."

"Romance between agents never works Duck," Gibbs reminded him.

"You could've thought about it before you slept with her." There was a hard note in the ME's voice.

"She'll get over it," Gibbs shrugged it off.

"Don't you realize how she must feel?"

"I do, but I know that eventually she'll forget and move on. The break-up would've been much harder, if first we let the things between us unroll. I've been over this scenario three times Duck, so I know what I'm talking about."

"Oh Jethro," Ducky sighed tiredly. "I can imagine that three failed marriages must be discouraging but I think you shouldn't assume it from the start that your relationship with Caitlin will end up in failure as well."

"Why wouldn't it? How is this different from the other times?"

"I got the impression that you chose your ex-wives in base of something as trivial as their appearance which led you to make the same mistakes over and over again. With Caitlin it was different. I'm not saying that she isn't a beautiful woman, only that you seem to like her for more than just the color of her hair."

Gibbs dropped his eyes to his feet and smiled. Ducky was right, he chose his exes simply in base of their physical resemblance to Shannon but with Kate it was didn't go like that. He never even thought about comparing the two. For him Shannon had been perfect, but Kate was perfect too in her own way, and he felt like he wouldn't like her any less even if her hair was green.

"Give it a chance Jethro," Ducky encouraged him.

"I can't Duck," said Gibbs stubbornly. "I know I'm hurting her but I'm doing this for her own good. Kate's amazing and she deserves someone better than me."

"But she wants you."

"She wouldn't, if she knew what a bastard I was."

"Believe me Jethro, she does know," Ducky put a hand on Gibbs's shoulder, "but she is able to see through that facade you put up. Remember that, contrarily to your exes, Caitlin didn't fall for Jethro – the charmer, she fell for Gibbs – the jerk."

Ducky's comment made Gibbs chuckle but he had to admit there was truth to that. He never tried to trick Kate into believing he was a nice guy, like he had with his exes, but she seemed to like him anyways, and for the pain in the ass that he was.

"Trust me Jethro," Ducky told him. "Our Caitlin is very fond of you, much more than any of your ex-wives ever was, and in spite of your many flaws, and you would be the greatest fool if you let a wonderful woman like her go because of your insecurities."

§§§

Kate sat at the window and watched the rain pour over the streets of Washington. For the past few days the weather had been foul just like her mood.

She realized the V-Day killer case had quite an impact on Gibbs and she understood that he needed time to get over the events of that fateful night, but considering what happened between them she expected him to get back to her eventually. It had been almost two weeks since Valentine's Day and so far Gibbs didn't call her and Kate began to suspect he never would.

It wasn't her first one night stand and at least this time the sex had been really good, she thought in an attempt to comfort herself, but it didn't work. She still felt used and disposed of like an old toy and the worst thing of all was that she just missed the old bastard. She missed the sound of his voice, the touch of his hands, the taste of his lips, she just missed the way he made her feel.

She curled up in her armchair pulling the blanket tighter around herself and let a lone tear fall down her cheek.

Suddenly there was a loud banging on the door and she quickly wiped her face and went to check it out wondering who would come visit at this hour and with the storm raging outside.

She opened the door and felt struck dumb. There was Gibbs, standing in the doorframe, his clothes completely drenched, his soaked hair brushed up and droplets of water still glistening on his skin.

"Hi Kate," he said a bit shakily, trembling from cold.

"What are you doing here?" she spat at him, her pain turning into anger.

"I just..." He had en entire speech thought up but suddenly he forgot it all. "I just wanted to see you."

"Took you a while to make up your mind about it."

"Katie, I know it's been a few days but-"

"Two weeks Gibbs!" Kate didn't let him finish. "You didn't speak up for two damn weeks! I wasn't expecting much, a text would've been enough!"

"I can't text," he confessed embarrassed.

"Go figure!" Kate rolled her eyes. "Then you could've called!"

"I meant to but-"

"Apparently what we shared meant nothing to you!"

"It did, I just-" he tried to explain, but Kate cut him off again.

"I mean nothing do you!" she cried.

"Shut up finally!" Gibbs captured her face and crushed his lips on hers.

Kate hit at his chest in protest but Gibbs just wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer and blocking her movements like he had on Air Force One all those months ago. Kate gave up her struggle and slowly relaxed in his arms giving in to the pleasure. Their kiss softened and she felt Gibbs's grip on her loosen up and his hands move to cup her face again. He broke the kiss and pulled away just enough to look her in the eyes.

"I didn't call back because I thought you would've been better off without me," he told her. "I never meant to hurt you, I was only trying to protect you, but then I realized that I couldn't just let you go."

"You're still a bastard," Kate accused him.

"Yeah, I know," he admitted, "but I promise never to pull that crap on you again."

"You'd better not, cause if you do, I'll shoot you," she threatened.

"I have no doubts about that," Gibbs laughed.

"Wanna come in?" she asked him withdrawng towards the door. "I was about to make some dinner. Are you hungry?"

"Oh yeah," he nodded eagerly, following her inside the apartment, "but not for food." He pulled Kate flush agains him capturing her lips again and slammed the door.

THE END

Big thaks to everyone who faved, followed and review! Even biggest thangs for aconline for doing the beta read!

If you enjoyed this story, make sure to check the next one in the series - "Bloodlines".

After an unexpected break-up with Gibbs a few months later, Kate goes visit a friend in a small town in Pennsylvania. In the meantime, the investigation of the death of a Petty Oficer leads the MCRT to the very samle place. When the two of them meet again, sparks fly, but there's also a case to solve and things arent't what they seem to be.