6. Us

The balcony was not quiet and this was a good thing.

Lassiel had spent the day attempting to exercise the loudest activities possible so as to drown out her thoughts. Anything from beating rugs, to scrubbing floors, and a rather disappointing attempt at mastering a harp.

Considering she now dwelt, as an honoured guest, with her soon-to-be husband and his mother, her thoughts and pesky worries were getting louder every day.

Alfirinthel was not a difficult elleth, nor was she disregarding or scornful towards Lassiel's presence in her home. Oropher's mother was the silent type, she didn't feel the need to chatter or fill the quietness, and she was often absorbed in tasks that required her complete attention; like sewing, or mending garments, churning the butter, or proving the bread. The elder elf drifted quietly and contentedly from task to task and could do so all day without uttering a word.

This drove Lassiel to distraction.

In the weeks following Oropher's attack and in the wake of her father's quite vocal disowning of his daughter, Lassiel had tried in every which way to earn her keep, never wanting to be a burden on her gracious hosts.

She immediately offered Gilron as a servant for the home. Being now cut-off from her parents she had no means to employ her hand maiden, and not wishing to leave her dear friend destitute - for Gilron was not welcomed back to Taraquen's estate, and nor would she go back - Lassiel could only hope to secure work for her with Lady Alfirinthel. However, Alfirinthel did not like to be waited upon, she was a private being and took no personal servants, but understanding of the poor child's plight she offered Gilron to assist her in the domestic running of the home, which often meant tending their guest. This thoughtful gesture only made Lassiel more anxious to keep the favour of the lady of the house, because it was most difficult to gauge if Alfirinthel truly did approve...her heart was too tightly guarded.

On this day, six long months since the incident that changed her life and position forever, Lassiel could not bear the quietness.

On the balcony she heard the world; the loud and monotone hum of voices of the elves scurrying about beneath in the city streets, the distant calling of sellers in the market square, and there was always music drifting from singers and minstrels somewhere in the hub.

With her hands planted firmly on the marble pillars, she bowed her head and listened to everything, hoping to hear that one voice she longed for.

When Oropher had returned to court he was summoned by King Thingol to give his account of the scandal in his realm. Lassiel was promptly asked to step down from her position as one of the Queen's ladies. This was a temporary arrangement as she was technically without title and penniless. The Queen, however, made it abundantly clear that she was not to be excused from court and was still warmly welcome. She had also privately assured Lassiel that their friendship remained dear to her and she could always seek counsel with her Queen.

Oropher kept his position, though much was done to have it revoked. Gossip tried to suggest that he had acted dishonourably and already taken Taraquen's daughter as wife by force, and that he had provoked the fight that had led to his injuries by boasting of his improper acts to horrified guests. Mercifully all ridiculous claims were disregarded, and Oropher was given opportunity to demand his accusers be judged for their crimes, but with no surprise to Lassiel, he took no grievance with her father and his associates.

So she was left dangling between two lives with no idea if she would ever claw back any pride for herself.

Oropher was determined to fix things between she and her family. He wanted to make everything better, to restore all of the lost love and care between them. Lassiel did not have the heart to admit that part of her was relieved to be free from the expectations of her parents. She would sometimes secretly enjoy not being present to bend to the will of the royal family, not having to preform, or act frivolously and girlish for the sake of court life. It was always a stifling life, a beautiful and prestigious life filled with luxury, but it came with tight rules and regulations. Her heart was always wild and the older she became the more she sought simpler joys.

Lassiel had been surprised at how she had enjoyed menial tasks. Alfirinthel had taught her much about cooking and baking. By now she had mastered gutting fish, preparing poultry, and adding bulk and vegetables to make the meals stretch. She wasn't terribly fond of housekeeping and even less of laundry, but for the sake of filling her days, she roamed around behind Gilron learning all there was to know about running a home. It was in these times that she became quite aware how spoiled she was. Gilron would often giggle or standby patiently, watching as Lassiel struggled to make up her bed, or tried to inconspicuously sweep dust under a rug - 'twas a steep learning curve, but she was stubbornly getting the hang of it.

Lately, when Oropher returned from his shifts of duty within the guard, he would bring Lassiel more into his confidence. Usually finances were discussed solely with Alfirinthel, and sometimes with the elf Galour, a royal treasurer, but on some occasions he spoke with her. This pleased her to no end. For him to trust her with his meagre wealth was a step in the direction of the partnership she so desired.

Oropher would give her free reign to purchase necessities like food and materials, and she adored meeting the merchants and tailors on a weekly basis, it made her feel useful in ways she had been denied before. Her spiritual talents now belonged to her, she didn't have to force them, and she was able to prove quite confidently that she was not just a pretty face with no earthly use. She was a trustworthy, respectable, and clever elleth, and those traits added more to her self worth than any of her talents.

Yes, being away from court life and expectation felt freeing...but it couldn't last.

The sad truth was thus - she was an unwed, fallen lady, living with her rumoured lover with no blessing or prospect of marriage. The longer she stayed this way the harder it would be to convince others of her truth, to ensure that Oropher's name was kept clean, and that the rumour filled lies would not take root in the people's minds.

Now, she knew she had comrades in her old group of Queen's ladies. Alatariel had visited once to offer her condolences. The noble elleth, having now married Lord Celeborn, had fully adopted her Sindar name Galadriel. She had urged Lassiel to wed soon, for talk was rife that Oropher and she were already a bonded pair, and although the elleth saw no harm in it she knew the harm it could have on Oropher's standing before the King...and they truly needed to keep the favour of their King.

Galadriel had been forthright with Lassiel knowing full well that they were not friends, but they were similar, they were reliant on the protection of their Sindar mates under Thingol's favour. There was an uneasy solidarity between the two ellith because of this, but Galadriel's link to the Kinslaying of Lassiel's own people strained any affection out of their possible friendship. Needless to say, she could not deny that the Noldo elleth had been in a similar predicament. Galadriel openly admitted that she and Celeborn were lovers before they publicly wed. She was not ashamed of it and honestly stated that if not for the sake of Celeborn's high ranking position among Thingol's nobles, and the fact he was a named prince, they would have happily kept their moment of bonding to themselves.

Lassiel was exasperated, for she and Oropher had done nothing to warrant such talk, and she had staunchly reminded Galadriel of this fact. Nevertheless, Galadriel still urged her to take care, because so long as she went unwed or unattached to her family, she would remain a foreigner in a Sindar court - a dangerous place to be. Lassiel knew all to well the truth of this fact, it was for that very reason she was temporarily suspended from her position - it would cause upset among the natives if she was seen to be receiving privileges.

If Lassiel had hoped for maternal advice from Alfirinthel she was not to have it. Alfirinthel barely spoke of private matters, or of the relationship Lassiel shared with her son. She had only spoke once to them both, to congratulate them on their betrothal, but it was barely more than a few words and a stiff hug.

No, Lassiel was certain she would get no direction from the only elleth that could help her in her present state.

With a loud groan she twisted around so she could lean her back on the stone wall. Crossing her arms before her chest she scowled ahead at nothing in particular. She would feel inclined to blame her disastrous luck on all these things, but she never much believed in luck. She believed in fate and seasons - so then she could assume she was fated to love Oropher in her her season of discontent. Typical!

There was a faint rattle of a china, and before Lassiel could glance as to the intrusion, Alfirinthel appeared in the archway procuring a tray with a steaming pot.

"I brought some tea," the elder elleth spoke rigidly, quite like her straight stance and immaculately pressed and tight clothes - nothing about this lady was soft.

Lassiel winced, she was not prepared for the long awkward silence that this afternoon snack would undoubtedly create, but she also couldn't refuse her host. So with a weak smile she nodded and plopped down on one of the garden chairs, her back just as rigid and straight as her host's.

"Honey?" Alfirinthel queried as she hovered a teaspoon of honey over Lassiel's cup.

"Yes, three please," Lassiel answered instinctively and then watched the horrified expression that flashed across the elleth's face before it settled back to blankness.

"You will rot your teeth," Alfirinthel answered calmly as she took her seat and lifted her black tea, void of any sweetness.

"They are mine to rot," Lassiel replied sweetly with a pointed look, but instead of offending Alfirinthel with her tone she was surprised to find a small smirk appearing across the lady's lips.

"Indeed they are," Alfirinthel replied with a gracious nod, her long fingers stroking the rim of her cup, her eyes remaining fixed uncomfortably on Lassiel. "I know what you are doing, and I think it folly," she seamlessly moved on to the next topic without elaboration or any form of tact.

"What am I doing?" Lassiel demanded, immediately tiring of Oropher's mother. She did not need any commentaries today.

"Waiting around out here," Alfirinthel answered gesturing to the balcony, "for him to return, you know what the news will be, you know your Adar will refuse you both his blessing again...and yet you continue to indulge the ellon...like he deserves a voice after what he has created."

Lassiel sat stunned for a moment, unsure as to what she was expecting Alfirinthel to point out but certain she wasn't expecting that assessment. She had assumed the elleth would have hassled her about remaining under their roof, creating a bad reputation for her only child, being a thorn in their peaceful lives. It was honestly the assumption she would have come to herself.

"What? No smart remark for my trouble?" Alfirinthel sniffed indignantly, like she was disappointed, and quirked an eyebrow at the young elf.

"I, erm...was not prepared for your response," Lassiel decided that this was the most diplomatic answer, as she cast her eyes downward and sipped tentatively on her tea. To her alarm Alfirinthel laughed, a loud and hearty laugh, startling her ever so slightly that she almost dribbled her tea.

"Well that is a surprise!" the elder lady cackled as she held her long hand across her mouth to disguise her laughter, "oh child, forgive me, I just find your hot-headed attitude a real treat."

"Excuse me?" Lassiel balked, her brow crumpling in agitation.

"You, child, you are a forthright young thing with a temper to match," she continued to smile fondly, not at all perturbed by the offense given. "I see how Oropher completely misinterprets you, and yet I think that is why he loves you...you are a very strange young thing...too rare to be wasted in finery and suffocatingly sweet company.'

"Oh, I am so confused!" Lassiel grumbled lifting her hand to her head, "forgive me, but you barely speak to me Alfirinthel and now suddenly you are an expert on my character...what is this really about?"

The elder elleth pursed her lips and lowered her gaze, the brief animation in her features disappearing like Lassiel's reply had struck her. She straightened her back all the more and fanned her fingers on the satin of her lap. Giving a little sigh, barely audible but sad sounding, she began to speak.

"It is my experience, in life, that if you have found happiness with another then you shouldn't waste it by waiting for others to approve."

"I would gladly ignore my family," Lassiel sighed, still rubbing the ache in her temple, "it is not I who is pushing to mend the situation, it is Oropher."

"I am well aware of that," Alfirinthel's tone returned to its even lilt as she reached for her tea again. "But you have to understand, Lassiel, my son has no family and he holds the value of such a unit quite high in his moral conscience."

"What do you mean he has no family? He has you." Lassiel frowned her hand dropping with a force on the table.

"Barely," the elleth muttered bitterly into her teacup, her eyes shutting tightly for a moment like a pain had caused her to flinch. "He lost his father when he was no more than a child," Alfirinthel forced the words from her lips, like they stung to speak aloud. "I was heartbroken and alone, my only attempt at salvaging what I could for my child was to bring him back to court - a place I happily left. My cousin, your King, welcomed us and gave my boy gracious tutelage and a place among his kin...but I was not the parent I should have been. It is safe to say my grief made me harder than I wanted to be, and I am more than thankful for how well he has turned out, and how accepting and generous he is in love. I did not teach him those things, he has that heart naturally."

Lassiel was stunned to silence. She knew the bones of Oropher's past; his father was killed when the forests were overrun with darkness. They had lived in the woods, with the more nomadic of their kind, and with their homes destroyed his mother was forced to return to her roots and ask for sanctuary from Thingol. The King had graciously claimed Oropher as family, and Oropher spoke with such reverence of his distant cousin who showed him a sliver of paternal favour. Apart from that she knew very little else, it had not seemed important, but sensing the sadness of Alfirinthel she gathered her lack of knowledge was purposefully scant.

"What would you have me say, Alfirinthel?" Lassiel asked carefully as she outstretched her hand and gently placed it over the elder elleth's forearm. "I know you care about your son, and I know my father's vicious accusations have caused you pain, so for that I am truly sorry. But how can I change this? What can I do to have Oropher justified?"

"Oh child," Alfirinthel sighed, her eyes staring pensively at the slender hand rested on her arm. "Love should not require justification, and there is nothing you can do for you have done nothing wrong...neither of you have. But, if I may urge you in this area at least - talk Oropher out of this ridiculous honourable notion of pacifying your father, and wed how and when you please. Then return to court as my son's wife and lady in your own right...make them respect you for who you are, not your kin."

"Well that is easier said than done," Lassiel scowled and retracted her hand to swivel on her seat and sip her tea thoughtfully.

"It is the only way you two will ever be taken seriously as a pair," Alfirinthel pointed out, a slight bitter note to her voice.

"Excuse me?" Lassiel lowered her tea cup and glared angrily at the elleth, "are you implying that Oropher and I are some kind of laughing stock? Or for that matter that we would care if we were?"

"I am saying, dear girl, that if you want to earn the respect you deserve, if you want to justify your love for my son before your parents and the court, then own your choice!" Alfirinthel spoke firmly, her index finger jabbing into the wood of the table and her eyes burning with a deeply independent fire. "Standing by and being the meek little wife will never serve you Lassiel. Stand shoulder to shoulder with my son and demand respect, even if that means disagreeing with the King or nobility. Make them take you seriously, have your say, and flaunt your happiness in your union in front of those that try to demean it. Do not let them force you into cowering in hiding under Oropher's title, you are not lesser than him and he is not lesser than you - it's about time some of our haughty elite remembered that!"

Lassiel sat quietly for a moment, her lips pouted a little at being sternly set straight. She hadn't imagined she was cowering or hiding, but in retrospect Alfirinthel had a point.

"So, are you actively encouraging Oropher and I to ignore social etiquette and wed sooner rather than later, and to pot with my parents consent?" She dared to ask in a tone that was as diplomatic as she could possibly make it.

"I am telling you to own your decision, whether it be right or wrong is not for any of us to judge. Your only judge is Námo, and let us pray neither of you meet him!"

Alfirinthel's words hit hard, and as much as Lassiel understood the wisdom of it all she was a bit overwhelmed. Setting her teacup down on the delicate china saucer, she pressed a napkin to her lips, and rose from the chair.

"Excuse me lady Alfirinthel, I am feeling a little...tired," Lassiel faked a yawn, and gave a slight curtsey, "thank you for the tea."

"Of course," Alfirinthel spoke, her keen eyes flickering over the elleth with a hint of irritation. "You should have a rest child, worrying will only age you."

xXx

It was growing dark outside, with the first of the street lamps being lit, when Oropher returned.

Alfirinthel greeted him with the offer of supper and rest by the fire, but he declined. He was in no mood to eat. Instead he climbed the stairs of his small but stately dwelling with slow, tired, feet. He missed her face and he was saddened that she wasn't there to greet him but he supposed, being what she was, Lassiel knew there was no good news to share.

He found her sitting at the Northward facing, landing, window. It's view was a picturesque sprawling landscape of the forests. She loved that window. She proclaimed it her favourite seat in the whole house.

Oropher opened his mouth to speak but he was rendered silent when her emotive eyes glanced his direction.

"Father didn't listen," she sighed in resignation and looked away again. Her long, delicate, hand lifting to press against the glass.

"No," Oropher admitted as he dropped his gaze in defeat. It was a futile attempt, he saw that now, but he hated to be the reason for her heartache.

"And my mother?" She whispered again, her shoulders dropping in weary expectancy.

"She didn't speak against your father," Oropher answered, regret laced resentment in his tone, "she never spoke at all."

"Then it is settled," Lassiel muttered aloud, although Oropher wasn't sure if it was to answer him or herself.

In a moment of panic he stepped toward her, hand outstretched slightly, as if to stay her. Oropher was always fearful that his Lassiel would grow tired of the struggle and decide to return home. He knew this lifestyle was beneath her, that she had so much more potential in her old circles, and that if she returned to them, those prospects would be awaiting her. It was selfish of him to try and keep her, to make her suffer for silly dreams, and childish notions of happy families. Those things did not exist without toil and provision, or at least they would not exist for them without such hard work, but Lassiel could marry a Prince and have that life blessed to her without even trying. But, that didn't stop him wanting her to stay...wanting her for himself.

Lassiel let her gaze sweep her troubled sweetheart. She almost smiled despite the heaviness in her heart. He was always so serious. Thinking too deeply and worrying over things beyond either of their control. She knew where his mind would be; he'd be thinking of all the ways that he didn't deserve her and all the obstacles between them.

Shaking her head she stood up from the ledge and closed the distance. Taking his arms in her hands she squeezed them, marvelling at the strength held behind his skin, and knowing without a doubt he'd protect her no matter what. Yes, their life would be tough, but, she'd rather fight by his side than live in ignorant comfort. That is where she would find her happiness...her purpose...she knew this for absolute certainty .

"We do not need their blessing Oropher," Lassiel spoke clearly as she leaned into him, their foreheads touching, "I do not need their blessing...I do not want their blessing...I want to marry you."

"It is not right!" Oropher groaned, his eyes shutting tightly as he shook his head. "Your family should celebrate you on the day of your own wedding feast, you should be surrounded with loved ones, and be lavished in blessings and gifts."

"I do not care for gifts and sentimental words," Lassiel shrugged, lifting her hand so she could rest it on his cheek and still the angry shaking of his head. "Besides no one from my father's estate would be happy at my wedding feast. There would always be complaints; the wine is warm, the musicians were late, or the food not satisfactory. Oropher, I do not want another stately party...I'm sick of it...I just want to marry you."

Oropher wanted his mouth to argue but he suddenly found his lips rather preoccupied. Lassiel was never shy when it came to expressing her wants or desires. She was always the more commanding in their relationship. She could easily bring Oropher to his knees with a kiss and a slip of her fingers - tonight was no different.

Before Oropher could react, he found himself beyond the threshold of Lassiel's bedroom, with most of his tunic unbuttoned. He scarcely remembered how that happened but he didn't feel inclined to worry about it. At least not with Lassiel's lips pressed to his neck, her seductive whispers catching in his ears as he allowed his hands to explore his love's curves. She was sublimely torturous but he adored every caress.

The door clicked shut behind them, and he heard the snap of the lock. Lassiel angled them toward her bed, and with an authoritative but gentle shove, he found himself splayed across the mattress. Flustered, his gaze slid questioningly from the door to his betrothed.

"Meleth nin," he spoke as calmly as the nervous frog in his throat would let him, "w-what are you doing?"

Lassiel gave a sultry smile as she gathered up her skirts and crawled onto his lap. Tangling her arms around his shoulders she drew him close and let her lips rest expectantly on his.

"No really," Oropher mumbled between their lips, "what are you doing?"

"Seducing you..." Lassiel trailed off as she sat up straight to glare at him in disgruntlement. "Or at least I am trying too...you aren't being at all cooperative!"

"I am fairly certain I haven't complained once," Oropher snorted, his eyebrow raising as he respectfully shuffled back from Lassiel's advance.

"No, but you are pushing me away!" She accused, hurt creeping into her voice.

"Only because you are causing all sorts of physical reactions that should be reserved until after our vows," Oropher tried his best to hide his embarrassment, and the sudden implication of his arousal, in close proximity to his innocent bride-to-be.

Lassiel's gazed dipped to his lap and then quickly away. Embarrassment flooded her skin and she quickly muttered her apologies before awkwardly scrambling off of Oropher's lap. He caught her arm before the first of her tears could fall.

"Lassiel, don't you walk away from something you started." Oropher attempted to keep his tone light and playful as he yanked her back on the bed to join him.

"That is just it." The tearful outburst momentarily shocked Oropher as Lassiel tugged away from him. "I started this, I pursued you, I defied my family, and I caused all of this...I am trying to finish it...but...but...you won't let me."

It took Oropher a few moments to process Lassiel's emotive statement. He gathered his blasé rebuff of her attempt at seduction stung more out of fear than pride. Something, or someone, had gave her reason to worry over her position. He was also more or less certain his ambitions to fix the feud between themselves and her parents was not at all helpful. In fact, he knew that it was pride that made him stubbornly insist on their blessing. He had never stopped to consider how that would make Lassiel feel. In fact, he hadn't really stopped to consider her fears at all.

"Do you honestly want this?" Oropher asked carefully as he slid his thumb and forefinger under her chin, tipping it up so she'd look at him. "I will happily...no, joyfully, ecstatically, enthusiastically...lay you down right now, on this very bed, and bond with you, if that is exactly what you want.?"

"I..." Lassiel felt her words catch, this was not how she imagined their union to be. She had imagined being alone in the forests with him, dancing under eaves, letting him love her far away from the scrutiny of court.

She shook her head...this was not what she wanted.

"I didn't think so," Oropher smiled warmly as he ducked his head to kiss her. It was a comforting kiss and it was enough to shatter the awkwardness between them as he drew her into a protective embrace. "But now I need to know," he murmured as she nestled her head against his chest, "what is it that you want?"

"Us," Lassiel answered after a brief period of silence. "Just us...under the stars...in the sight of Eru. That is the only witness I need...and you, what do you want?"

Oropher felt warmth seep through his chest. His heart began to swell at the perfect image she had created for him. A broad smile stretched across his lips as he nuzzled Lassiel's silken crown.

"Us," he whispered in agreement, "Just us."