A/N: This story was written because it's obviously very canon that Gabriel didn't die- he just hid out in Pepsi MAX commercials before coming back to full strength in season 9. No, really. Google it if you don't believe me, and watch the ads.

"Multiple hurricanes are ravaging the East Coast, toppling houses and trees alike. They have already reached the west end of New York City and don't show any signs of stopping-"

Click.

"-ack that smiles back, Goldfish!"

Click.

"Oh, god, Peter. I don't think I can do this anymore - I can't do this anymo-"

Click.

"-ro calories?"

"Zero calories."

The Winchester moved to change the channel again, barely paying attention to what was happening on the screen, just distantly channel-surfing while waiting for Dean to finish his shower, but then a close-up of a man's face winking made him snap back in attention.

A guy dressed in a black uniform with the Pepsi logo stationed at the collar held up his phone, apparently taking a video of the Coke Guy, when he was promptly thrown out the window. Standard cheesy commercial, almost as bad as the recent Chevy ones they've been coming up with. But something about it felt - off? Weird? ...Familiar?

Sam stopped, his finger already hovering over the remote's bright orange buttons. The advertisement ended too quickly for Sam to get a better look at the guy's face, but didn't banish an uneasy, and frankly disturbing, feeling making a home in his heart. The younger Winchester raised his eyebrows in a slightly confused way, as the TV showing the iconic logo of the soda brand switched to a rerun of some old Spongebob episode.

Sam remained there, staring at the crappy TV with a slightly perplexed expression on his face. The guy in the commercial - what? Why did he have such a strong feeling that he knew him from somewhere? He tried to remember what the man looked like, but already his features were getting blurry and indistinct in his forced mental picture. Well. He guessed the apocalypse and all was making him a little rattled, but he felt a bit of strange doubt manifest in the back of his mind.

Onscreen, Spongebob's pineapple house caught on fire.

"Right," he muttered, and turned off the TV.

When they had reached the motel after nine hours of straight-on driving, all Sam wanted to do was collapse on the bed and sleep 'till Wednesday. But Dean was strangely energetic, deciding to jump in the shower before resting on the small, starchy beds, with a strong encouragement that Sam should do the same 'cause apparently he smelled like moose.

There had been a small, beaten-up TV in the corner with a hunky-looking remote wrapped in plastic covering placed on top, so Sam had picked it up with the decision to go channel-surfing. That was something he hadn't really had the liberty to do in the last couple of weeks, so for that moment, the whole deal with angels and demons and the war slipped from his mind while he waited for Dean to come out of the shower. He could've sworn, though, there was a sense of familiarity in the Pepsi ad, that had nothing to do with the attraction of zero calories. It reminded him of something... someone.

Fingers rubbed at his temples, trying to quench the sudden headache that had sprung up. Really? A Pepsi commerical of all things was setting off his nerves?

He let out a sigh and closed his eyes briefly, head hitting the pillow, and listened to the sound of Dean's shower running.

For a moment, that was all he did. Until the water was shut off and the sound of a glass door sliding open had Sam back in reality. He was pretty sure that his mind was just messing with him, bringing memories he'd really just rather forget about, and making them manifest in the form of cheesy ads playing alongside reruns of old Spongebob episodes. That was the only plausible explanation he could accept, because he solidly refused to acknowledge what he had seen in the Pepsi advertisement. He was dead. Not frolicking around confirming zero calories.

There was a small sound of scuffling feet, and Dean stepped out from the bathroom. Sam blinked several times, simultaneously sighing and rubbing his forehead. Reluctantly, he added researching the Pepsi commercial to his mental list of priorities, and got up to use the shower.

"I can't believe it," he said, slamming the palm of his hand down on the table. "There's nothing. Nothing about it anywhere."

Dean looked up from his cheeseburger. "Nothing 'bout what?" he mumbled around a mouthful of ground beef soaked in oil and probably deep-fried or something - Sam shuddered, but refocused on the topic at hand.

"I can't find anything on that Pepsi advert I saw on the TV yesterday! It's like, it's gone!" His voice came out shaky, which wasn't how he wanted it to come out as. He was pretty sure that Dean was looking at him like he was crazy, and most crazy people he had come in contact with had shaky voices, so a shaky voice was not something he needed at the moment. Or ever.

"Oh. Well," Dean said, with a subtle motion of his cheeseburger, "That's tragic."

Sam swallowed another mouthful of salad, eyes intent on his softly glowing laptop screen. "I know, it is."

There was a slight pause in which the older Winchester nodded slowly, something akin to mild concern showing in his eyes. "All right, are you going to tell me why you're researching a Pepsi ad?"

His fingers pounded mercilessly on the keyboard, bringing up several different tabs and exiting out of most. "I..." Eyes were narrowed determinedly at the screen. "I have a good reason, believe me. Really, really good reason. Like - change-the-world sort of good."

"Right. Okay. Have you been feeling weird lately? Any strange pills?"

"What- no! This- this is serious work. I'm trying to find..." his voice trailed away as the table practically shook from the force of his typing. "A certain Pepsi Max commercial with a certain person in it. It's hard to explain, but if you watch the ad, you'll see."

Dean finally set down the hamburger, the foil crinkling and spilling bits of sauce. "Sam, you okay? Apocalypse rubbin' off on you? Making you a little, y'know, unstable in the head or something?"

"I told you, I'm fine. I'm fine, Dean."

Something in his voice told him it was serious, but still. Wow. Was this something they taught in Stanford?

Sam looked over at him, clearly annoyed at his older brother's lack of response. "I'll show you - look. His name is Max, but he's not really Max, you can tell because he has the same exact face, and he acts the same, and he has to be, I mean, what else could have happened? He's hiding in these commercials, but I've got him cornered! I know who he is and what his plan is for the apocalypse and for the planet, and he might as well just come out and say he's the Trickster because seriously, who else could he be?"

"Whoa there, slow down," Dean said, chuckling nervously. Then his expression finally grew more serious. "Wait... you're saying that a guy in Pepsi commercials, just a random commercial that you saw on TV, is actually Gabriel the archangel in disguise."

"Yes, Dean."

Dean got up and pushed in his chair, his cheeseburger with onions laying forgotten on the tabletop.

"Let's say I believe you. I'm going to turn on the TV right now, and..." Dean pressed the 'on' button on the remote, and the small, battered TV flashed.

The Trickster grinned at the two of them, a Pepsi logo casually attached to his collar. He winked quickly, and the screen went black. For a moment he thought the TV had shut off, but a Pepsi logo flashed onscreen, followed by a very familiar voice.

"Zero calories, the perfect drink."

A/N: Gabriel lives.