It has been a month since me and Kirino broke up. She's in high school now and I in college, I still live in the same Kousaka household, living my life same old, same old. Just same old boring life but still normal and tranquil, just the way I like it. Still… I had hoped that after my whole year of ordeal with Kirino, I would finally be able to mend our bad relationship but… That wasn't the case.
At first Kirino proposed the idea that we break up after our fake marriage. It took me several minutes to compose myself before agreeing to it. It was my sister's decision after all… her life her choice, it may seem that I selflessly accepted the proposition without thinking about my own self interest but that was not the case. Let's face reality; a relationship with my little sister was just not going to happen…it just can't… I can't imagine it happening…
Glancing around, my family appeared normal… almost too normal. That's right… me and Kirino still talked, acted really friendly with each other during the initial week after breaking up but… after only three? No four days, she stopped talking to me, it wasn't the same scornful, despising look she used to shoot my way a year ago it was just… how should I put it? A pained look? Despair? Nah it wasn't that bad but it was hard to describe I guess if I have to be dramatic about it I would say she avoided eye contact and whenever it was unavoidable she would still shy her eyes away. I don't know why she acted that way but it's been a month like that now, we talked to each other as much as we did before a year ago… Which was sad, I thought after all these life experiences I could still talk with my little sister.
Maybe if I bump into her from the blind spot in our house… then maybe I can strike a conversation with her. The first real conversation since we broke up. Wait what am I saying!? Why would I purposely plot this? What the hell!?
"Ooof"
Looks like it happened anyway… well not like I actually planned this out though I swear, it was an accident!
Rubbing my back I winced, the pain from the fall seeming amplified from my daze.
"Sorry aniki…"
I blinked stupidly a few times. My little sister stood back up and left for the stairs. Well… at least she didn't drop anything this time.
B-But still! How could she call me aniki and avoid me like that!? Not even avoiding a conversation but eye contact altogether! I swear this girl's insane!
Whatever is up with her, it's also messing up our friendship with Kuroneko and Saori. Last time we went to meet them in Akiba, Kirino didn't even say a single word to me! I tried to strike up a conversation with her on the train there and all she said was "yeah" or "no," even when they were open ended questions… sighing inwardly I can't even begin to imagine what's wrong with her, although she does talk to Kuroneko and Saori perfectly fine while ignoring me at the same time. I'll give her credit for managing to do that much.
A month ago… a month ago before I confess to her I would have definitely confronted her on her odd behavior but now… I don't even know why I haven't done it yet. I let it drag on for so long. I thought I outgrew that cowardly shell of mine; my adventures with Kirino molded me past beyond that… yet… Well it definitely was cowardice.
No way…
Damn it sounds like I'm convincing myself instead of confirming my belief. I mean… what was the reason I haven't talked to Kirino? Yeah she's avoiding me but it's not like I've been trying hard to talk to her either.
Well now that I think of it… I've been avoiding her as well… it's just not as severe as she's treating me… The reason? Well I just didn't want her to mistake me to think of her that way, how does one distinguish between sibling love and romantic love? It's not as black and white as one might think actually. Ever since both intertwined it is nigh impossible to distinguish… I guess that's the reason I've been avoiding her… In the end I am a coward aren't I?
Before I realize it, I found my way to Kirino's door. *knock* *knock* *knock*
A pair of cute cerulean orbs peeked through as the door creaked open.
"Yes?" what a meek response… how unlike Kirino. Even initially after we broke up she wasn't this… this tame.
"Can I come in to talk?"
"…Sorry I'm studying." And bam goes the door… can't really say anything else after hearing her locking it as well. Guess she really didn't want to talk to me, no matter what. While I did have an inkling feeling as to why that is, how can I even come about to propose a fix?
Well now usually I would go to Manami for advice but… ever since that day my relationship with Manami hasn't been the best. In fact my mom questioned me why I distanced myself from Manami… but it's more like she distanced herself from me. Oh well can't explain it all considering my mom doesn't really care, she just wanted something to gossip about.
Whatever I'll go to sleep, think about this tomorrow, ask Ayase for advice or Kuroneko or Saori…either…one...ye—
"Kyousuke…"
"Kyousuke…"
"Kyousuke!"
Oh god that moan… it's melody to my ears, what a sweet a voice… who knew my sister has such a gentle and sweet voice like this… wait what!? My sister!? Kirino!
*BAM*
"Damn… I needed a bigger bed."
Why was I dreaming about my own sister!? That's disgusting! I mean I did find her attractive, I did thought of her in that way, but we ended it, a consensual agreement; that we return to normal siblings after graduation. Done and done, so why did I have such a weird dream? Hidden desires brought to the surface during when I'm most vulnerable? That sounded lame… sounded like it came straight from some eroge I played… Whatever it was, it's just a dream, so let's leave it at that.
"…Kyousuke…"
"…Kyousuke…"
Wow what a soft girlish moan. It sounded even cuter than the one in my dream. WAIT WHAT!?
Carefully and quietly I placed my ear against the thin walls that lead to my little sister's room, her bed was directly against the wall similar to mine, so in a way we were actually sleeping next to each other if you ignore the frail cardboard-like wall that separated us.
"…Kyousuke…"
YIKES!
T-that voice! It came again! Am I hallucinating!? I mean she was the one who proposed our break up..! So there's like no way Kirino could possibly be the one moaning my name next door. Ehh… it must be some eroge she's playing and used my name as the "oniichan," some new version must have added the pronunciation of names as well, but still isn't that a bit weird? In any case that sounded waaaay too real to be an eroge… in fact that sounded like my sister! Well at least logically speaking it does. Kirino is always confident and proud, to sound…to sound so vulnerable and delicate..! What is this sorcery! R-right now if that was indeed Kirino..! She sounded way too cute! I recalled how unbelievable it was when she slept next to me that one night. Her soft breathing was also too cute to be considered the image of the proud Kirino I have made in my mind but that time she was in the flesh so I couldn't discredit those cute noises… b-but this! This has to be a misunderstanding.
Well… is my course of action now? Having played so many eroge it was like a natural reflex for me to visualize the options that came up. Now it might make me seem like a hardcore otaku but I didn't mind, these options seems to ease my mind when it came to a huge dilemma.
A. Confront little sister
B. Ask about it tomorrow
C. Ignore it
Well, C honestly seems way too appealing right now… I could ignore it b-but I would never know the truth! Not to mention I would never be able to see Kirino in the same way again. Why? Well it's not like this is the first time I've heard her doing… doing that business. But this is the very first time after our break up, in which we agreed to return to normal siblings! Yes initially I did have lingering feelings for Kirino, but I buried that quickly I rebounded! I would expect someone as strong willed as Kirino to have done the same; after all she has to have to be ignoring me again right?
B… Ask about it and have her easily deny it and call me a pervert? Worse yet separate her even more from me. That's the last thing I want… It has to be A, she can't avoid me now, I don't want to embarrass her like this or put her on the spot, but I… I just got to know!
…To know if she still had feelings for me… because… I still love my little sister… damn it. Why did I have to be born a siscon.
*knock* *knock* *knock*