Title: A Little Freak of Melancholy
Email: [email protected]
Rating: PG (just to be safe)
Classification: romance/humor
Pairings: Snape/Ginny; Harry/Ginny (maybe ;-)
Spoilers: I think this doesn't spoil anything from any book…
Disclaimers: Yes, I'm J.K. Rowling and I own them all, and book five is not ready yet because I'm writing stories like that instead of working on the original one… As you guessed, they're not mine, so please don't sue.
Archive: oh, did you like it? Great, take it, just tell me where it's going, ok?
Summary: Ginny begins seeing Snape in a different light after drinking a potion. How will she handle it?
Thank you: Amanda for being the best beta in the whole world!! This fiction wouldn't be anything without you!! – Oh, and she didn't beta this disclaimer, so if there's any mistake, it's not her fault…
Chapter 1I could swear his eyes on me were the only thing that kept me from bursting out of my body, but then he spoke. And his voice echoed though my veins and cells, making me shiver and smile.
His words sounded like velvet touching my skin, while his eyes would just stare at me, almost bored. And just then, somebody decided to wake me from my illusion by kicking my ankle, and that really hurt.
"Miss Weasley, could you please tell me where your head has been?", he said, defiantly, looking at me like I was a worm and he was trying to overcome the nausea to step on me.
"Right… here?" I answered, afraid he would humiliate me again in front of the entire class.
"Good try, but that did not sound convincing. Twenty points from Gryffindor!"
And now everything was back to normal. Snape had finally satisfied his need to take points from Gryffindor and the rest of the class could finally breath.
Actually, I couldn't breathe just yet. What had I been doing? I was lusting over Professor Snape! The thought made me want to scream my way out of his class, bury myself in the ground, and stay there forever. How could I possibly start seeing him that way?
And then I remembered. It had been three days since Hermione had come to me with the desperate idea of drinking a potion…
It was Friday evening when she asked me if I would talk to her. That request was unexpected. After all, there were very few times that she actually felt the urge to talk to me; like when Krum asked her to the ball and she just had to tell someone, I was there. I am always available. Poor little Ginny, with no friends and no social life.
She was confused between Harry and Ron. Oh, you can't imagine how much I loved to hear her say that… "Oh, Ginny, Ron asked me out but sometimes I think of Harry in a totally different way! What if I accept Ron and lose my chance with Harry… and what if I refuse and it's Ron I like?"
I just felt like crying. That was so thoughtful of her, to talk about her feelings for Harry in front of me! The one who had loved him for years. Or so I thought had loved him for years…
She had found a potion in one book during one of her researches. The potion was easy to make, and would show who your heart truly desired. Of course, it was the perfect solution for her. It wasn't even forbidden, because it wasn't a love potion, not really. It would simply make it easy to see whom you loved, if you were torn between two or more lovers.
When she told me about that potion, I couldn't believe it was in a book. It seemed something that would be in Monthly Witch, that stupid teen magazine with love advice and good-looking wizards posing and blowing kisses for stupid girls who would buy it – me included -; but that's not the point.
The point is that she was petrified. So I, as the great friend I can be, offered to drink that potion with her. I would help her in making it and would finally drink it with her.
Of course, I thought it would be easy enough. I mean, I was already used to feeling what I've felt for Harry Potter; a potion could not be so difficult to handle. What I didn't expect was what came after that.
We drank that damn potion on Sunday morning, Hogsmeade day. Hermione would spend the day with her two "candidates", so she could feel whatever she had to feel and end all her doubts.
I have no idea how her day went, but mine went on as usual. Of course, I didn't go to Hogsmeade with them, so I went with Fred and George. But then, the strangest thing happened.
I wouldn't feel anything when I looked at Harry. By dinnertime, we sat side by side, and I didn't spill my juice, nor did I spread food all over the table, or lose control and destroy the food with my elbow! And I couldn't believe that when he talked to me, I talked back quite clearly! Even Ron couldn't believe it! Well, actually, he wouldn't have believed it if he had seen it, but he didn't see any of this since he and Hermione had become a couple that day. Cheers for them!
Well, back to the point. I was starting to feel a little dazzled. I wasn't used to feeling so normal around Harry. I started to look around in despair; the looks on Hermione's and Ron's faces were just disgusting and I didn't feel even slightly romantic enough to enjoy the new couple; until I looked at the teacher's table, and saw Professor Snape eating his chicken with his severe look.
And that was when I went back to my clumsy self. I tried to take a sip and spilled juice all over me, my chicken flew into Ron's face, and I destroyed Harry's food with my elbow. When Snape looked back at me, I just couldn't take my eyes away from him. And, I lost every word of my vocabulary.
There was something growing in my chest, and if I didn't proclaim out loud I would certainly explode! But I couldn't understand what it was, for I had never felt anything so powerful. It just took over me and I was on my knees before this feeling I couldn't even explain.
And now it's Monday morning and this feeling still needs to be released. It seems like it's not mine, and it will be inside me until I voice it.
That was it. I needed to talk to Hermione.
The chance came at dinnertime, when she felt the urge to go to the library to research who-knows-what for Harry. I followed her and asked to talk to her. And then, at the empty library, I tried to sort everything out.
"Are you sure that wasn't a love potion?"
"Oh, yes, I'm sure.", she said, shaking her head up and down quite violently. "It would only make you feel… well… how can I explain?"
"Like you would explode every time you saw the person?" I said before she could try to explain. "Like there was a bomb inside your chest that would burst and leave pieces of you everywhere if you just stopped looking at him; and makes you feel like he needs to know what you feel… and the whole world disappears when he is around, and the physical pain is nothing compared to what you feel inside while you cannot say the words…"
"Wow, Ginny, I didn't imagine you loved Harry so much…", Hermione said, looking concerned.
And that was it. I had come so far; I had to say what I was being urged to say.
"I'm in love with Professor Snape."
There it was. I had said it.
The pain should be over any time now…
Any time now.
Oh…
"I've said it, so why do I still feel this thing burning in my chest!?" I cried, desperate.
Hermione closed her dropped jaw and swallowed hard.
"Are you sure you felt all those things you described to me so perfectly when you looked at Snape?"
I nodded, feeling very unhappy.
"Well, Ginny, I don't know what to say… I mean…", she looked quite concerned now. "I don't think the pain will stop until you tell him what you feel."