So i've been listening to "Give you what you like" a lot lately, so I bring you this fic. (Yes I am that evil.)
"Hey dad," Asami inched into his office slowly. It was hard to see with the curtains being drawn and the only light in the room came from the doorway in which Asami stood. The room was musty and smelled of cigars; she hated being in there. "Dad?"
The only response she got was a quiet snore from the unmoving figure of her father, who was hunched over his desk, one arm around a bottle the other clasping a small picture frame. Her heart dropped as she took in the sight. Hiroshi was blackout drunk, but what hurt her more was that he was drunk on this particular day. Today was the anniversary of her mother's death and she didn't want to spend it alone again, but it seemed like this year would be the same as the previous ones.
She contemplated waking her father up so she could spend the evening in sadness together with him, but something held her back. He did not deserve her time and effort to make him feel better when she hurt so much too. No, she would not wake him up, for all she cared he could spend all the time he wanted in that stupid office. Without a second thought she stormed out the office making sure to slam the door extra loudly and made her way to the garage. She quickly stopped by her room to grab her bag and keys, not looking in the mirror on her way out, but she lingered in the doorway. She knew what she wanted to do tonight and she knew how she would feel about it in the morning, and every fiber of her being was telling her to just stop and go to bed. She flicked off the light and walked off.
The club was loud and crowded. The flickering lights and lasers were overwhelming in the darkness of the dance floor. She couldn't make out most faces, not even the face of the man dancing with her. She didn't know how or when they began dancing together, but she was drunk, possibly more so than the parent she left behind today, and she didn't care. His body pressed closer to her as the rhythmic pounding of the music commanded those around her, and his hands trailed down her sides and to her hips. By this point of her inebriation the room was tilting and fits of giggles broke free, but she remembered what she came here for and pulled the young man in by his collar, kissing him. It wasn't tender or passionate, just sloppy and wet and uncomfortable and she scrunched her eyes shut. She told herself she didn't care.
They stayed like that for nearly a minute, surrounded by warm bodies knocking into them, until she felt him pull away. A girl with blue eyes was pulling him through the crowd and towards the bar, leaving her standing among the crowd slightly confused. She decided she wasn't drunk enough yet and made her way to the other side of bar than where the man left to. After several more drinks, she had no idea what the drinks were, she tried to get off the stool again only to nearly fall, as she grabbed on to whatever was closest to her to hold herself up, which happened to be a person. Not just any person in fact, but a person with blue eyes, the same one who broke her kiss.
"Whoa there. You alright?" she shouted over the loud music as she held her up.
Asami broke into giggles and tried to stand back up supporting herself against the girl's shoulder, which proved to be harder than she thought. She felt a strong arm around her waist as 'blue eyes' helped her back onto the stool. Suddenly the whole room felt too loud, too crowded. The deep bass hurt her head, the lights flashed too fast, and the heat radiating off the dance floor was unbearable. She began panicking and hyperventilating. Suddenly she was being hauled towards the other side of the room and out the door. The silence of the street was deafening, her ears still ringing loudly, but the chilly air felt good against her skin. She fell back against the wall leaning her hear back against the brick.
"Hey you ok?"
The voice felt muffled, and Asami felt sick, but she would not break, not here, and not now, she wouldn't break in front of strangers. She inhaled deeply and tried to calm down enough to finally look at the girl who was holding her up by the shoulders.
"Yeah, I think I had too much to drink," she said.
"I think so too," the girl chuckled. "Do you want to go home?"
"No."
"Um, ok. Do you want to go back in?"
"…no."
"What do you want to do then?"
Asami reached out to her and pulled her in by the neck. "This." Their lips met in a much more composed way than her previous kiss. Admittedly it was a bit sloppy, just not as sloppy as the other one. She grabbed the girl's arms and brought them up to her neck, the girl got the message and wrapped her arms around Asami pulling her in. She mumbled something against Asami's lips.
"What?"
The girl pulled away a little and whispered, "wanna get out of here?"
Asami could taste the alcohol on her, and wondered if she was as drunk as her. Probably not. "Fuck yes."
She let herself be pulled along the asphalt and to a cab waiting in front of the barfor partygoers. They jumped into the car and the girl gave an address, while Asami gripped her hand like her life depended on it. Why did she want to keep holding 'blue eyes's hand, she didn't know. Well she did know, she needed to be held, but she didn't tell herself that. The excuse she gave herself was that she was too drunk to stay upright.
The cab pulled up to an apartment building and they went in. 'Blue eyes' barely opened her door before Asami kissed her. The kiss was desperate and needy, but her partner either didn't notice or didn't care. Asami felt herself be pulled towards another room. She slid the girl's jacket off as they reached the dark bedroom. She realized her hands were shaking. She did not want this. She wished that she stayed home tonight. The memory of her passed out father surfaced in her mind and she began unbuttoning the girl's pants. The lights turned on and she opened her eyes, pulling away from 'blue eyes'. She was met with a confused look, and realized that her cheeks were damp, Asami was crying. She roughly wiped the tears off her face and turned the lights back off.
"Wha-" the girl began to say, but was interrupted by Asami's lips. She pushed her onto the bed and straddled her hips but felt herself be pushed away. "Maybe we shouldn't. You're drunk," the girl said.
"So are you," Asami replied as she leaned back down. She received no resistance, and felt her dress unzip down her back. She shuddered, but willed the tears back.
Asami lay on her side, in the darkness, in a stranger's bed. She faced away from the body next to her and stared at the wall. Tears freely poured down her face, but she was silent. The girl was gentle and passionate, even though they were both really drunk. But it was early in the morning now, the sun threatening to rise at any moment, and she felt filthy, her first time being with a person whose name she didn't know, on the day of her mother's death. She wanted to forget today. A sob escaped her throat, and she brought her hand to cover her mouth. She felt movement behind her and tensed up, afraid that she awoke the girl behind her. An arm wrapped around her waist gently and she felt the stranger pull her closer. She suddenly felt safe, and the tension left her shoulders. Is this what it would feel like to be loved? She didn't remember falling asleep, but she did.
Asami woke up to a massive headache. She looked around in confusion but when she got her bearings her stomach twisted. She remembered last night and felt sick. Twisting around she found the spot next to her to be empty.
She stood up, gathered her clothes, and started making her way out of the bedroom; she didn't look in the mirror as she passed it. She was about to put on her shoes to leave when she heard a voice call from somewhere, "do you want some coffee?" The girl walked into the living room with a couple of plates filled with scrambled eggs and placed them on the table. Asami's throat closed up so she just nodded. No one has ever made her breakfast for no reason other than just to make breakfast. Usually the staff made her breakfast, but it's their job. Sometimes she would make it herself. This was new and foreign and something she desperately needed. "I was about to wake you," she chuckled as she returned to what Asami assumed to be the kitchen.
"How do you like it?" she called from the other room.
"What?"
"The coffee silly."
"Oh, just black."
The girl returned with two mugs and gave Asami the one with the smiley printed on it. They both sat down at the small table, across from each other. The warmth from the mug made Asami feel better and she took a sip.
"I'm Korra by the way. Names didn't really come up yesterday did they?"
"No they didn't," Asami said quietly bringing the mug up to her lips. "Asami."
"Nice to meet you. Is this awkward? This feels awkward. I don't really know how this whole hook up routine works." She scratched the back of her neck.
"Me either." They sat in silence for a few minutes, their food cooling and untouched.
Korra eyed her warily and spoke up quietly, "are you ok?"
"No." It was easy to tell a stranger. There was no fear of how they would react because Asami didn't care about their reaction. She just needed someone to listen. Anyone. "Yesterday marked sixteen years since my mom died."
"Oh, I'm sorry." Korra looked away, unsure of what to say.
"It's fine. I think I'm gonna go. My car is at the bar, I need to pick it up."
"Oh sure, of course."
Korra walked her to the door and Asami was about to walk out when Korra tapped her arm. "Do you want to get lunch sometime, maybe?"
Asami stared at her. There was no other word to describe it other than staring. Asami was needy and weepy and bitchy the whole time, why would she want to take her out.
"I mean only if you want to."
"Ok."
"Cool." Korra's cheeks turned pink and Asami didn't feel quite as sick anymore.